|
Telling my roommates I am moving out.
I want to transfer colleges for family reasons next year. I am really bad at confrontation and for some reason I just cannot work up the courage to tell my roommates that I don't want to be here next year. They are my good friends and I don't want them to be mad at me for leaving them and our apartment next year. We have all been getting along really well and I just don't want to ruin the happiness. I really need to tell them I just don't know how to force myself. I know its just something I have to do, but when it comes down to it I tell myself that everyday, and every night I go to sleep without confessing. Please help me, I don't know how to force myself. I also don't want to write a letter or anything like that because I feel like that would be even more rude... Thanks
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It is not that you, "don't want to be here next year." You cannot be there next year as you are changing schools. There is a difference.
The difference between not wanting to room with them and not being able to room with them because of circumstances is whole different set of circumstances. The fact that you will not be able to room with them next year is something they can understand if you tell them, that as you told us family reasons are forcing you to change schools. This is a reason anyone can understand.
Now for the flip side of the coin. You owe it to your roommates to give them as much notice as possible that you will not be returning in the fall. I'm sure the costs of rooming together are split among you. Your not returning in the fall means they either have to absorb your portion of those cost among themselves or find a suitable roommate to take your place.
Finding a suitable roommate takes time. I'm sure they want to find someone that fits well with them. The more time they have the more time they have to make a good choice. The longer you wait to tell them the less time they have and then they could get upset with you, though not that your leaving. That your leaving and didn't give them enough time to find a suitable replacement when you knew in advance you were not retuning. Then they would have a right to be upset.
Yes, leaving your friends is hard. If family obligations are causing you to do so then most people, especially friends will understand. So give your friends the time they need so that they too do not suffer a hardship from your leaving.
]
I think the best way around this situation might be to explain to them why you have to leave, with all the sadness you express and obviously feel in your question. The more you work yourself up to a pitch of telling them, the harder it'll be
. Try telling one or two of them first, they might see how upset you are and tell the others for you. They might even have guessed there's something wrong and be waiting for you to say something.
When my son was in college, his flatmates changed yearly, it made for a mixed bag of students.
Circumstances change, so do we and adjustments have to be made. Luckily, your move doesn't mean that you have to lose touch with your friends - webcam, Skype, email, text, phone, take your pick!
You can visit each other throughout the term in electronic ways.
So, pick who you'll tell first, take a deep breath and go for it. The news will soon spread. You might have to explain your family situation a few times, but it will get easier.
Hope it goes well, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes X.
]
More Questions: |