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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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The first time I got on birth control I had been late for my period for the month, but the doctor told me to put in the NuvaRing anyway, the next month I had my period. I was on birth control for a few months and I decided to skip a month of birth control, and I had sex a few times. Not to get too personal about this; but my boyfriend has never came inside me, we don't use the 'pull out' method. We stop before he even gets close ( I understand it could still happen,) But I'm late again so I just put in the birth control. I'm not quite sure if that was the right decision.

If everything was working fine when you were using the Nuvaring the dr. prescribed and you were getting your period as you should, then you have to explain why you decided to skip a month.

If you were experiencing symptoms and wanted to know if they are symptoms caused by using Nuva ring, to stop using it might sound like a way to tell but it's really not. Your body could still have lingering effects of the hormones for quite some time. Not using any birth control at all is invitation to getting pregnant. I assume since you've been messing around with birth control, that you do not want to become pregnant. At this point it may be too late, you may be pregnant. I don't know how long since the unprotected sex and Plan B emergency contraception is only good for a certain period of day immediately after if taken. Its probaby best if you go right back to your Dr and get a pregnancy test, and if you are not pregnanct, ask to be put on the copper IUD contraceptive,, called Paragard....there are no hormones used with side effects, only the copper to prevent pregnancies. I used it almost 8 yrs . You don't have to take it daily, weekly, or anything It can last up to 10 yrs from the one time insertion into uterus. And you can still have babies later when its removed again. This is the most carefree method of birth control, no mess, no bother...so I highly suggest you demand to have the IUD placed inside, otherwise, I predict if not pregnant now, you will be by the end of this year or sooner with your current record of birth control or lack of it.
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what if your best friend likes you but you see him only as a friend?

All healthy relationships that have the best chance of lasting long term have two people who are best friends.
I do not know if the reason you see him right now as just a friend is because the amount of time you've had him as a friend, has become what you are used to. We get comfortable with what we are used to and can sometimes fear any change. Change would include finding oneself attracted in more romantic ways. Right now there's a program running in your friend that says he is just a friend. If you can stand being around him as a friend, it goes to reason he must be pleasant looking enough, have a nice personality and treat you well as a friend.

You may have experienced having romantic fantasies for a guy that you think is really gorgeous but you don't know anything about him. These feelings hit hard and feel so strong.

With someone you've already known quite a while as a friend, these same feelings can occur, but, just not the same way. You don't all of a sudden one day get hit hard with strong romantic desires for your friend. In this case it needs to develop over time if there really is a possibility there.

I have heard from so many girls whose best friend boyfriend is now dating and kissing and holding hands with another girl. Either he doesn't feel that way about her. Or he does and she never picked up on the clues or she rejected any romantic overtures from him. But so many girls find themselves jealous and feeling torn up inside and don't realize its' because they truly h Buta

Im a senior in high school turning 18 in a week. There is new teacher at our school and she is gorgeous.I have a big crush on her.I don't have her class or anything but i see her in the halls sometimes and I always give her the biggest smile and give her a look.Im just wondering what do you guys think I should do.I don't want her to get fired or anything just over a crush but I do believe im in a little bit of a better situation than most people having crushes on there teacher since I don't have her class and I actually really do have feelings for her

You didn't say whether you are male or female. Females usually will say something about being bi or gay, so I will assume you are a male.
Males in their teens are just beginning to experience the attraction to the female form. Just because a man is visually attracted to a female doesnt mean there is a green light to proceed with seeing if a relationship can form. Throughout your life, as a male you will find yourself in situations where you are visually attracted to females, so many, they become countless. The strength of attraction may vary a little but not enough to keep you from fantasizing, where you do more than just staring at and smiling at a gal.

All relationships start with visual attraction on the part of both the guy and gal. this prompts the next stage of opening conversation. If you find each other still interesting, meaning you like how their mind works and you're not still focused on the body, you both decide to move into hanging out together to get to know each other a bit better, what common interests, whats the other persons hopes dreams etc... and if all is still going well, you start dating. From dating people go to being exclusive with each other and then to long term relationships like marriage for one.
The feelings a person can have when they are visually attracted are real...yes....but these are not the kind of feelings that are needed in a relationship where the two are in love with each other and they have more than just sex between them. There is talk of love at first sight. I beg to differ. What they feel is attraction and these cases are very few....but when really listening to them, these few said they knew in their heart, felt at a gut level, or heard their inner voice saying this was the person they would be with the rest of their life. That is the exception to the rule. And even these people though they knew they would end up loving the person, did not truly have the needed deep unconditional feelings of love, of being in love with the other. Why? The depth of love develops over time. I can admire certain qualities in a person and think highly of them and feel good when I am around them because I really like their character and how they make those around them feel, some are a people person and draw people to them like magnets. that does not mean every single acquaintance is going to be a romantic partner.
Enjoy the feelings you feel cus you are going to experience them too numererous a time to remember in life, thats just the way a male is made.

BUT....and this is a big one....in probably 98% of these situations where you find yourself attracted, the wise thing to do will be to exercise some self control and Never act on it. Yes, thats right...you and your self control are going to have to be life long close buddies. Just as the situation with a teacher, no matter is you were now legally 18 or not, there are situations in life where you just dont wanna go there and risk messing up their life or yours. What if you were attracted to a female coworker, single or married...some places have bans on office dating and of course theres rules against sexual harassment. If you go after someone who isn't interested back, she could tell staff you're sexually harrassing her and you get a warning or lose your job. What if its a female boss you go after? She can't afford to look bad to the higher ups, so she will have to find a good excuse to lay you off, or you find a lonely married lady and go after her but she has a psycho jealous husband who puts you on his hit list and is doing everything he can to take you out.
There's so many things that can go wrong if you're allowing yourself to indulge in the pleasure of starting something with a female you find gorgeous who for some ethical, moral reason or rules or laws, is not okay to go after.

So my advice is to never approach her ever!!!

I need some serious help , cause i'm one step closer into losing my sanity.First of all , my parents are divorced and this is the main reason of my life corruption.When i was kid(i'm 17 now)my life used to be filled with joy and everything was going smoothly and i used to be with my besties ,until my parents had a huge fight together and they got divorced , even though my mom was very patient with my dad's shitty attitude.After a couple of days my dad forcefully sent my mother and i to a foreign country(Egypt),originally i'm from America(NY).Ever since i came to this country my life went from perfect to absolute shit in all angles , my girlfriend broke up with me just because i'm distant from her , my mother is treating me like shit i'm having fights with her everyday , education here is terrible , my health is getting worse(i get permanent headaches) , i feel so alienated here , and this year i should go back to America(without my mother) for college and i'm gonna have to put up again with my dad , who ruined my life .I lost everything , what am i supposed to do , i know that nobody is perfect but this is just too much :( .Thanks
email - ahmedscater2@hotmail.com

If in going to college in the U.S. you think you are stuck having to live with Dad just to cut costs and attend college, then you need to start checking out other options now.
What does college dorm housing cost? Or, can you advertise through the college somewhere online that you are looking for a roommate or roommates attending the same college to split the rent on a place nearby. Thats what our daughter did and got a good roommate. She did not have to take a job to be able to afford this, her grandpa gave her monthly money to cover that. She had grants and such that helped cover school it self. Do you have any friends whose parents you got to know well? Someone you could stay with while you there this summer, looking for a job, looking for roommates and the perfect rental if not opting for dorm housing. But the planinng should start now. Think of any close friends or adults you might be able to ask to help you with any part of this process of your transition of coming back, getting set up and starting college. Maybe someone would be willing to help. Even little stuff they can do, all will help.
Good luck.

There's this guy in my class that's just really creeping me out. He's starting to text me everyday now (He tries to find excuses to text me) and it's just annoying and creepy. I text back because I don't want to be rude... Yesterday, I made it clear that I'm taken. I don't like this guy at all I like someone else. He also told me he liked this other girl, which is a good thing I guess, but he's just overall really creepy. I blocked his number now for good, but how do I avoid talking to him at school? Just ignore him? Please help as soon as possible. Thanks x

Yesterday you made clear that you already have a guy. So give it some time to see if he changes his behavior.
Throughout your life, you will find yourself at tracted to certain people for friends, whether girl friends or boyfriends. You aren't going to automatically like everyone or you'd be close friends with every girl in school. I can't say what exactly it is that makes two girls have something in common to become friends or a particular guy to be your friend, but I'd have to say its a little of everything, personality, things in common, etc..there some kind of draw to them, some kind of connection. So if the guy continues to approach you at school, You'll have to say something nice to not piss him off but still be clear like, "Hey David, I'm sure you 're a nice guy and all, but I just don't feel any connection to you, not even a friendship connection. So I am not interested in hanging out with you anywhere, not even here at school.
I wish you the best on making some new friends. But I don't want to be one of them.

Sometimes it takes being really black and white in your conversation for a person to get the idea of what you're saying. If the guy doesnt take you seriously and continues to follow you everywhere like a lost puppy dog, you might have to talk to a counselor at school and see what they have to say about it, or what they can do to help.

I sometimes get chest pain. Like a dagger in my ribs. Also a wicked pain in my breast. I'm 17 and a female. My nose is also always bleeding. I have fluctuating weights and find it hard to loose weight. Im also alqays thirsty. I dont know if this could be my imagination but the pains are real and I was wondering if they are symptoms of something

Some illnesses share many of the same symptoms so it really is hard to diagnose just by symptoms. Drs can get more information from urine and blood tests that show lots more information. If you really want to ask for advice online, your best bet is an online doctor advice site, that while they wont make a diagnosis, will give you some things possibly to try or look for. Theses site shave cropped up and become popular with the current times being that many folk no longer have health insurance and can't afford to pay for even a walk in clinic. Here is one such site, there are many others if you look for doctor /m.d. advice online

http://www.freemd.com/?cs=1

I am 22 years old and for the first time in my life, I can truly say that I am in love. It is the scariest, most wonderful feeling in the world, but I constantly find myself stressing over the little things.. Worrying about things that don't matter and constantly worrying about how my significant other feels. We've been together for almost a year and we just moved in together over three months ago. He treats me like a princess and is constantly trying to make me happy, so whats the problem? He has a lot of friends that are girls and I have to say that I am insecure... He doesn't ever make me feel that way. Its my own thoughts that make me insecure. I have been dealing with overwhelming anxiety, mostly around the time I get my period. He tells me everything is okay, but im constantly thinking that nothing is.... I don't know why I think this way... I love him so much and he makes me so happy, but the littlest things affect me... I'm sorry if I'm not making myself clear, but I just need someone to help me.. I need someone to tell me they have gone through this too and things will get better. If anyone has had these feelings, please contact me. I am in serious need of advice, judgement free. Feel free to tell me how it is... Just tell me something.. Please.

He sounds like a wonderful guy. I understand perfectly what you are going through. He may not be doing anything or saying anything to give you worries but you may need to be hearing certain words from him that will help you build trust in him. What I mean is that he might try sharing more detail with you about his thoughts, what he's thinking, and building you up. My 2nd husband is a man who has lots of female friends, some are like family cus they were sisters of his childhood friends growing up, and a couple were old girlfriends, and theres his ex wife. He is a man who treats women well, holds them in high regard in society and is supportive and will help uphold all their goals and dreams. Despite the fact he occasionally chats with female friends, I am not jealous because I am so sure of how important I am to him. Part of what helps is his telling me how even as a 10 yr old boy he would dream what his future wife would look like and he'd see my body, just not my face, he as a teen got into psychology and spiritual belief systems and knew he wanted a woman who would think for herself, be spiritual and have her very own views on life. And he got that. He tells me daily how he is the luckiest man and has the best wife in the world. He proves it not just by words but supporting me in anything I do such as working in this advice column. He applauds me and says I am doing a wonderful gift of service and praises my choice of words. I have my off days where I don't do as well. Luckily there are other advice givers who step in and fill in where I drop the ball.

So I can't really judge your situation whether you actually need to hear more of some specific stuff from your guy or not but it might be worth having a talk about it.

One thing you can do for sure is monitor your thoughts.
If you allow one false thought to dwell in your mind, it will lead to another one and soon you have a whole string of negative thoughts coming up with story line in which you are not important to your boyfriend. Stop the thoughts the moment they pop into your head and replace the negative ones with those that are true, state them aloud to yourself if you must.
I don't know if feeling more vulnerable can be tied emotionally to ones period. But perhaps it is tied more to not being available sexually if you both are squeamish about sex during a period. Again...negative thoughts you would need to deal with. Basically if the problem lies entirely with you as you seem to think, then you really need to focus more on learning how to correct negative thought processes. There are many great books written by psychologists like work books for you to learn and test your self as you progress through chapters. Im sorry but I no longer have the books, too many down sizing moves...and I can't remember the names but asking at a bookstore and browsing books on the topic should help you find something that you click with.
Good luck dear.

I married a man whose wife committed suicide and so did her mother, acohol posioning. My husband has a temper and acts like a hot shot immature teen ager and toes into fits, screams, gets in his car and takes off for few hours or days. He thinks he is the only one right and he turns everything that is said. He is an acoholic, and smokes continually. You can't communicate with him at all. He refuses to discuss any situation. I am tired of all this. His family told me after I married him that I should watch myself. I have tried suicide because I am so depressed. He was in debt over $200,000 when I married him but didn't tell me. I am at the verge of trying suicide again and I see a therapist and I don't see any hope. I am not afraid of committing suicide to get out of thismess. And he has a son that he practically gave all the equity in it to him. The son owed us $40,000 (had 5 years to save it) on `1/1/2014. His son doesn't call us, not even on my husbands' birthday, xmas, father's day. They have no communication. They are both mean, and don't communicate. I can't take thisman's split personality. I am ready to quit. I see this going no where and I feel like his mother at times. He doesn't shower except for maybe 2x a week. He stinks like smoke and he lies to me. He puts me down in public and I have lost most of my self esteem. I have a MA and he uses that against me at times, because he did not go to college. I have never used it against him. I hate my life. And I am tired of living.

I am sure you had your reasons for staying, in my case (30 yrs) with my ex, it was because of religious reasons...well intended beliefs but mistaken. I believed that God hates divorce, and I must trust God to heal my marriage. Well, I know now in hind sight, that when ever something involves a persons free will, God will not interfere. Therefore he couldn't wave a magic wand and force my husband to shape up his act and start treating me right and be in love with me. Another thing I falsely believed is that I could change another person simply by being a positive influence in their life. That is not true. A person must want to change and that want and desire comes internally. I also discovered that the description of my husband which closely matches yours is a form of mental illness. I never stayed for the counselors final diagnosis of which exact one it is, but he was very controlling, degrading of me, point the finger to take focus off himself as having a problem. Don't kid your self, he may not know whats wrong with himself but he's scared and doesn't want to find out so its always create fires here and there to keep people so busy dealing with those emotional crisis's so they don't have time to examine him close enough to discover he has problems. So many mental people go undiagnosed for this reason,, they're good at playing a chameleon. I had my 3 daughters to live for, and I had a belief in God that kept me sane and my self esteem intact. You don't sound like you have any such 'life lines'
Killing oneself because of a partner is a shameful waste of a life. What if you were meant to learn something, learn to love yourself enough to remove yourself from that situation despite the lack of organizations that help. That was one of my lessons to learn in life as a soul, one of the main reasons I had the marriage to him. He fooled my family and everyone else and was good for a year before he changed and showed his real self. Another thing, mental illness doesnt necessarily stay the same, it doesnt improve but can get worse as the person ages which I witnessed. I was so committed to staying with such an abusive husband that it took God talking to me in a dream saying, If you do not leave him within 4 years from today, you will be dead. God was telling me I had the choice to stay or it would affect my already failing health to the point i got a disease like cancer or a heart attack because of it. I would not be around to see my children marry or enjoy grandchildren. Well, now that I knew I had to leave to continue to live...I did. But it took lowering my pride, telling all my friends, acquaintances, co workers, anyone who would listen, that I need a place to live to get away from him. Some friends out of state agreed, and off I went. That was July 2007 I left him. Because I passed my lesson in deciding that I would no longer be subjected to such treatment, my life turned around. I started dating, and did find on a 3rd date and guy who finnally got comfortable enough to show his true self, and recognized my old husband in him. I cut it off immediately and was proud of myself, I had passed another test a 2nd time so that I could know it wasn't just an accident how I got away the first time, I chose to not get involved with another with same characteristics. I am now married going on 5 years to the most wonderful man a woman could ever hope to meet. My life could turn around, so can yours. It won't be easy finding support. Theres shelter for abused women..but thats physically not emotionally. There is nothing set up to help women who suffer under emotional and mental abuse from a husband, at least not in the 2 states I checked, mine and the one I moved to. It takes kind people reaching out to offer support to a woman breaking away from such abuse. It will take some counseling. I got mine free...the people who took me in, he used to be a counselor. I healed, got strong and once ready, returned to the area my daughters live in and met the current husband. Don't consider suicide...thats not the answer. I know you need out of the situation, there are ways out other than death. If I could do it, so can you.

ok so im 15 and im going to a friends house this weekend and my friend invited her bf and my bf.... me and my bf were talking and he wants to have sex this weekend, hes 15 too.... im really scared and dont know what to do ive asked my friends and they just dont know what to say about it... i need advice please help me im freaking out i have so many questions like does it hurt, what if we get caught, what if something goes wrong, what if he breaks up with me the next day. please help me im soooooooo scared!

Light of truth gave you the best answer.

I only want to address why you might feel the pressure to do so even if scared and not ready.
I do know lots of teens feel that being a virgin is a bad thing and that they need to 'lose virginity' and feel it might as well be now even if its not the best circumstances.
Loss of virginity seems to be associated with penis-vagina sex and does not take into consideration all the other sexual discoveries one goes through and other acts a person does as part of their sexual debut. Virginity is an old fashioned word that is in fact quite erroneous. Its a made up thing. At what point are two gay or lesbian teens no longer virgins? Do you see how the word 'virginity' falls short of covering the topic of having sex.
At the point that hormones first begin coursing through your body slowly maturing it physically, you begin a wonderful journey called your sexual debut. It starts with becoming familiar with and understanding the changes to your body. You touch yourself, get a period, begin to feel horny, and learn to masturbate to give self please, perhaps progress to using toys and massagers. Once older and ready for more, you go to the kissing and touching each other stage, eventually after more time passes maybe mutual masturbation, giving body massages, and so on. But its not an all in one event that can be considered losing your virginity. So progress through your sexual discovery journey at a rate you are comfortable with.
I highly admire a gal in her early 20s who has a website on positive sex and dating and relationships, its Laci Green on you tube. I am attaching her video on the sexual debut. Its wonderful and she's got lots of other great video's. Say no to the guy...don't even go to the friends house and place yourself into that position or you may end up forced against your will. Here's the links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-hUbI8my0Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdYtYveJI1Y

Ok, I'm a freshman in high school (female). I have a friend from last year(when i was an 8th grader, he a sophomore) who is a junior. We are in band together. WE where really good friends last year, and he had a big crush on me for a while (i'm not sure how long)but at the beginning of this year after B.C he started ignoring me a little. but he was still friendly with me at times.

But....

SO this season he had started ignoring me full time. This was around the time that people in the band could tell that me and another freshman in the band (my boyfriend now) liked each other.

During the season i would go up and say hi and be friendly but he'd just say Hi very curtly and walk away,

so the season passed, we had our field season pics taken. A friend of mine pushed this guy into the hallway cause i had to confront him about it.

I confronted him about the past few months and he told me that he just had been having a lot of problems and didn't know how to approach me.
I expressed my feelings that i felt like he hated me, right as i said that he hugged me tightly saying he could never hate me (we have gone through quiet a bit together)

He hugged me again tight like that. WE let it out and i felt like we were friends again :) but that was back in November/December, and he's fallen back into ignoring me.

It doesn't help i have to sit next to him in our Concert arch.

I know he;s depressed and possibly suicidal, but he won't let me in to help him!!

I care about him, and i want to help... I don't know what to do :( Please help

Hon, you did a good thing to be honest and express how you felt. At least you know he stills cares about you and that you are not the cause.
Even good school friends may not know each other well enough to have full trust to share their innermost problems and fears. A depression can lead to suicide so depression should be watched closely by friends and family. I have a daughter who claimed she was depressed during her teen years and as close as I was with all my kids, I could not see any signs that gave me a clue, no different behavior...just the thoughts in her head she chose not to share. Ends up she has clinical depression, her body doesnt produce enough of the chemicals needed to remain depression free and needs medication. My middle daughter had depression but talking things out with me and with a counselor helped her get back on track and see through a different perspective but it still took lots of work on her part to basically deal with tons of negative thoughts that made her feel depressed.
Since you sit next to him on a daily basis, you have an opportunity to observe him closely...but even that may not be enough. I would tell him : I really care about how youre doing and can see you're depressed but that it makes me fear you might become suicidal at some point. Its okay if you don't want to share details with me, but you have to talk about your feelings with someone, preferrably a professional counselor because not doing so can lead to attempting suicide. So have you talked to your parents, school counselor?

Thats what you might try to say to him in your own words. He needs to know he needs to reach out. If he is unwilling and you're still concerned he may be suicidal, that's enough reason for you to go to school officials and tell them, even if it ends up you are wrong. Just think how you'd feel if you never without his permission. You'd be dealing with guilt from not acting.

there is this tutor I work with in the tutoring lab in college. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. She is about 27 and I am 22 and she is engaged, One thing I noticed about her is that she was very touchy feely. , like patting me on the back or shoulder.

My class ended a few months ago but I saw her around campus when I was going to meet up with a friend recently and chatted with her
now I find myself going out of my way to that location just so I can hopefully see her and talk to her again. Last week I went and sat there for about half an hour (I had nothing else to do though so I wasn't skipping anything) I just get this extremely good feeling when talking to her or seeing her.

I recently ran into this girl again. She was in the math lab, I went in and started chatting to her and she seemed happy to see me and happy to chat. I get this extremely good feeling whenever I see her or talk to her. I can't explain it. I think she clearly likes me too.

I can't stand the thought of not being with her I think she is the girl for me. Would it really be wrong if I tried to get her to break up with her fiancee and be with me instead? I have heard of people that have done this and done it successfully so it really wrong? Why can they do it but not me?

also, I need to make it clear because some people purposefully misrepresent. I am not a stranger to this girl! I've worked with her for about two years. I have her email and is friends with her on Facebook

I agree with Razhie 100%. I too have seen numerous of your previous questions. You have not been happy yet with anyones responses because we are not going to tell you what you want to hear.
You have to ask yourself, if the way I am going about this is right, then why are dozens of people wrong? It's not because we don't know you or her personally, but because we have come across the same scenerios in life or friends lives, just different characters.
So if we by chance are telling the truth, and have multiple times and you are not accepting our advice, I can only conclude that something is wrong with your line of thinking. Everything you have shared with us so far is to us obviously not normal behavior for most people in society. What you dream of and propose doing breaks codes of ethics and morals that many live by. My recommendation is that instead of investing time into writing us, you invest your time into seeing a Psychologist, a counselor.

Whats the worst that could happen? If you believe yourself to be normal and in the right, the counselor will confirm it and then you can know that all of us here are full of bull crap and stop wasting your time talking to us. If the counselor does discover you need to work on some things in your thinking, things that will help you in life, that will only work to your benefit and help you in having healthy relationships in life in the future.

I need your help. I have a problem getting across to my boyfriend and it's that point where I feel like a break up is inevitable.
I have always raised the issue about our need to communicate, that being that I don't like that days can go by without us saying a word to each other.It makes the bond disappear,and it makes us miss out on each others lives.Of concern is the fact that it always has to be me initiating things alot of the times.I know they say that I need to find other things to fill up my life but it's so hard to go days without talking to someone you love,especially if previously we had good communication.
I'm feeling like either he is slowly distancing himself from me,or he just doesn't want to be in this relationship all together. Just now I called him and he sounded defensive when I wanted to know what was going on with him.Its as though work is a secret.So that prompted me to ask us to meet up for coffee in which I plan to say what I need to say one last time..and if a break up needs to happen then I am fine with that.Its better that than feeling lonely,when I do the opposite with him.I give and never receive anything in return.

Lina,24 years old. Dating for over a year.

Light of truth is right.
I can only think of one more possibility. Something caused him to withdraw and lose interest in you. Just in case it is something you are doing that you think is normal but guys find abnormal, it would be a positive thing to be aware of and work on it so it can't affect future relationships.
Since you say you used to have good communication, I wonder how often you communicated back then. I am not saying you are doing this but his reaction when you say you called just now, reminded me of something I read in a relationship experts site. It said that some women contact their boyfriend too often, always wanting to know what they are doing, asking why it took so long to answer a call or text, if he calls 3 times a day and it drops to one, she leaves tons of texts demanding to know what he is up to and why he didn't respond. Yes, there are women like that, and while you may not be totally doing that, there may be something you are doing to a lesser extent that rubs a guy the wrong way and these kinds of behavior in a woman can kill any interest a man once had in her initially.
Guys usually have many prioritys in life while girls tend to make the guy their only priority. If a girl is in his top 3 priorities, thats good but it means she has to share time with work, school, or his family or whatever else. Perhaps he does not like receiving calls at work, knocking his concentration off whats he's trying to accomplish...not that it is secretive.
So unless he is willing to tell you truly what exactly is bugging him so you could know if you had some part in creating it or not, you won't know. For the future, you need a guy who is willing to share with you anything in a constructive manner...not pointing fingers and blaming. He should be open to the same from you. Whenever I have dated, I gave the man permission to give me constructive input, I assured them I was confident enough in myself to not freak out or get emotional by their sharing any concerns. I want to be the best partner I can be, so during the learning process of really getting to know each other, I would appreciate their input. Its as simple as that but both have to be willing to have that attitude. If the guy won't, the relationship will fail.
Good luck dear.

I am a 23 year old college student. I've been in 3 relationships that lasted longer than 6 months and the most recent one that ended lasted 4 years. I've had sex with two of my boyfriends and I know I enjoy it and what not. Ive had guys besides that who I would make out with and sometimes we'd go a little further but not all the way to sex.
The problem is I have seen a couple of my friends end long relationships recently and almost immediatly after jump into new things, as in relationship type things and one night stands. (Not really sure what to call them) Its making me feel really weird inside because they always were a lot like me and I never thought of them as "easy". I suddenly have been questioning if im going about this the wrong way and if I put myself out there more and was more willing to do the dirty then if that would make me less lonely.
My last break up was really difficult on me and the problem is the string is not completely cut. He still comes to me for advice and is still someone who I keep in contact with. I know this may be a bad idea. But I really enjoy having him in my life as a friend and it feels like we are good at setting boundaries.
I guess this is more like a rant...but I just feel like maybe my moral code is off and I should adjust with times. I just don't see how I could get with someone I barely know. Or who takes me on one date. I feel like it may be making me isolated from the group though because I don't relate as well. I just have been feeling so alone lately because everyone has somebody but me. And I'm also really picky on who I like. What if no one ever comes into my life? I know this probably sounds weird but I've just been feeling so lonely, isolated, and honestly depressed? I cant even seem to grasp where its coming from. But I've tried my best to be supportive and give good advice. Especially because now some of them are running into trouble with their rebounds.

Adviceman pretty much said all I would have said, probably even better.

But I do want to say that having your standards and 'being picky' is not a bad thing. Its the first step to finding what you are looking for. Don't lower your standards or feel you have to be less picky if you get any opposition of comments on that.

In searching for a 2nd husband, I was on a dating site. I listed exactly what I was looking for in a man...my list was very specific, very picky. Many guys wrote me that I was too picky and would never find a guy if I didn't lower my unrealistic standards.
I ignored them. It paid off. I met the right guy. Although in his first letter he stated points off my list of where he didn't think he met my requirements exactly...but he was perfect. I wrote him back immediately and we going on 5 yrs of marriage.
So stick with it dear.

Warning: this is going to be long, I already know that.
We are both sophomores in college. Lately, my best guy friend has been odd. He's been "talking to" this girl for a few weeks and they just met face to face Sunday and have been hanging out since. I'm not a big fan of this whole thing because it's usually the two of us always hanging out, he is usually always in my dorm room watching movies with me or getting food with me and since she's moved into our dorm, I've been set aside and I hate it. Yes, I am jealous of the fact that she is important to him now. I want him to be happy and if that's what it takes for him to be happy, he can go for it, I will always be here waiting to fix him when he gets hurt but it just sucks that he hasn't even been talking to me these past few nights. To get to her room, you have to take the stairs right next to my room so I see him come up and he walks by my room and doesn't even say hi. So, in an effort to not be so hurt about it, I've been trying to distance myself from the situation. I haven't been texting him and when he walks by me when I'm working, I don't really start up conversation, same with when he's working, I would normally sit down and chat with him but I haven't been doing any of that lately. Needless to say, I think he knows I've been kinda upset. The other night, I was in the lounge studying and he texted me and asked if I was in my room, I texted him back about twenty minutes later (when I read the text) and said "I am now but I'm on my way out" and he texted me back "Oh, I knocked on your door and you didn't answer." So I texted him back and explained that I wasn't in their earlier and he never texted me back but that's usual for him. On to how he is being weird.. the first night his almost but not yet girl friend moved in, he didn't go see her right away because he was with me in the lounge watching a movie. About an hour after he told me she moved in, he asked if I wanted to grab dinner, I said yea and he said we should wake up my roommate and see if she wants to go, so we did. We were all walking out of my building, when he fell behind which is, again, usual for him because he gets so absorbed in his phone that he can't do anything else until he is done. However, I turned to see if he was okay and he was with the girl. He didn't tell me she was coming so I was kind of mad that he just let that happen. So they walked behind us to dinner and she asked "so, who are your friends that we're eating with?" and he said "right here, these two are my friends" and then we got down there and her and him got their food first so they picked a table first to which I later found them sitting across from each other, forcing my roommate to sit in between them. All night, my leg would touch his and me elbow would touch his when we would both go for our phones. I invited some other friends to sit with us and as they made their way over, I moved over to make room for my one friend to sit in between my guy friend and I but every time I moved away, he moved closer, making my other friend sit next to him and not me. It got to the point where our small four person table was seating nine, we were so cramped that my entire right side of my body was flush against his and he didn't even seem to mind, meanwhile his girl was sitting across from him and he wasn't talking to her much. I was texting and he made it so blatantly obvious that he was looking at my phone which was weird for him again because he's been doing that lately, when I was on my computer the other day, he wasn't even near me but he walked over to see what I was doing on my computer. I have nothing to hide from him so I wasn't mad in the regard it was just odd that he did that because I make a solid effort to not look over his shoulder at things. So, he was getting antsy and decided to leave, stood up and waited for her to get up and they left. My friend looked at me and said "if he's trying to get with her, how did you two end up like that at the table?" and I said every time I moved, he kept coming closer to which my friend said "well, it looked like you two were dating, that's all." After that, I haven't seen him all night or the next night. The next day, though, I saw them walk in from having lunch together and he didn't hold the door open for her which he usually does, he always holds the door for me and my friends. Then, I saw him leaving her room and he came back up with his computer which was kinda funny because he never has his computer when he's with me, so he must have been bored enough with her to get his computer or I'm looking to into it and they were going to watch a movie or something. The night after, he came to my room and I didn't really want to see him, so I walked out and went down to the hall to call someone. I came back and he was gone. Then, last night was the night where he texted me and asked where I was because I didn't answer my door. This morning, he relieved me of my shift so as he was getting on, I told him the normal information and went to leave and he told me sweet dreams as it was 4 in the morning. I got back to my room and realized I forgot to give my boss my timecard to get paid so I went back down and told him I'd appreciate if he put it in her mailbox before I forgot again and he looked at me and thanked me for reminding him because he forgot to do his. I said you're welcome and as I went to leave, he started talking to me about the weather. He and I are such good friends, we talk about the deepest stuff, he told me that he never told anyone about his dad before and he told me about his dad and how he used to beat him so we talk about major things and here he was talking to me about the weather and how he didn't want to have class. After a few minutes of that, I went to leave and nothing has happened since.

I hope you can make some sense of this and tell me what you think is going on. Why do you think he's being weird? My friend thinks it's because he's upset that he hurt me and he's trying to find a way to make it better. My other friend thinks he likes me and he's mad at himself for upsetting me. Why do you think he doesn't talk to me around her? Why was he trying hard to sit next to me at dinner and not talking to her at dinner? Why doesn't he hold the door open for her but he does for everyone else?

Thanks!

Your other friend is very observant and can plainly see what you have either been totally oblivious to, or not willing to admit to yourself when she observed, "well, it looked like you two were dating, that's all."

His behavior would indeed be odd if you meant nothing more to him than just a friend and he was romantically attracted to the other girl. What makes you think this is the only possible thing going on for him. If it were the other way around and he saw the other girl as nothing more than a friend, and you were the one he had deep feelings for, more than just a friend, like I've found my mate type of feelings, then wouldn't it explain his behavior. Then his behavior wouldn't be odd at all.
Here's some things I see that may be possible happening here:

1. He may be truly in love with you, but afraid to tell you because if you don't feel the same way about him, he's afraid it will change and ruin your friendship.

2. You find yourself feeling really jealous of a girl he is not very interested in, more like he has convinced himself that he needs to focus on someone other than you to be his romantic girlfriend, so he has been trying to force his heart to move on and try to date another girl but his heart is not in it.

3. You admitted to feeling jealous. Jealousy is, nothing more than like a warning light on the dashboard of your car indicating that some deeper emotions on your part are involved, that you fear the loss of something. Guess what? It sounds like your subconscious mind fears losing him but your conscious mind hasn't figured that out or is ignoring those feelings because you haven't realized it yet or feel a need to keep him in the "friend zone" only.

Your following words can be looked at two ways depending on if your just a friend or want to be more than just best friends:
I want him to be happy and if that's what it takes for him to be happy, he can go for it, I will always be here waiting to fix him when he gets hurt but it just sucks that he hasn't even been talking to me these past few nights.

1. You come across as the selfless friend who is truly happy her best friend is dating and hopes he finds happiness but will be there in case he gets a broken heart. You just feel very sad anticipating seeing less of him from now on.

2. You sound like a woman in love with her best friend, and can't understand why he is attempting to date someone, you already feel the loss of his company and know your hurt can only grow worse over time as he spends more time with another female and reaches the point where he someday marries and has children and would likely have little to zero time for you. You sense in a way already now that your heart will break if that happens. You don't know how to act in your misery so you figure that avoiding him and dropping all contact will help, which it doesn't. It only makes him miserable and confused and wondering why he at least had you as a friend and now you are pushing him away by your actions.
You say you will be there to help if someone else hurts him. What if you are the one hurting him, how can you help him feel better?

I'd also like to bring the following to your attention: It took him having a high level of trust in you to be the only one he confided about his past to. Trust takes time to build and is easily broken. Deep trust like this is only found in healthy long term relationships.

Being best friends is one of the most important foundations of a long term relationship, whether dating or marriage. You have that now. Perhaps neither of you felt fireworks in the beginning so you never pursued a romantic relationship from the start. But once deep friendship is established, and those feelings for each other has developed, then its only a matter of time, if you are willing to explore it, to see if that romantic spark and passion will develop too.
What may not be felt at all, or felt strongly, can grow to become a hot blaze if you are willing to allow it. You don't know that it's not possible until you try.

So stop avoiding him. He really has been trying to see you. Unfortunately he has not asked you why you have made yourself unavailable and neither has he confessed the feelings he is developing for you. If you do know you have deeper feelings for him, he needs to hear it. The best way, is to state it as a process just starting as suggested by relationship experts I have studied. Instead of saying I am in love with you or I love you, you say "I am starting to fall in love with you" or another choice: "I am beginning to develop deeper feelings for you."

Professing feelings in this way still leaves a path open for the other person to leave if they do not feel the same feelings. Or they can confirm they love you too. Obviously, I cannot tell your male friend the same things as I've told you so you're the only one who knows what needs to be done, which is talking about both your feelings. So dear, it's up to you to start the conversation and decide how you really feel about him.

If you are willing to give the romance part a try with him, then encourage him by telling him how you are feeling which is why you reacted in jealousy because of the other girl.

If you can't stomach the idea of being romantic and passionate with him, having kids with him one day, then let him know that you don't have romantic feelings but strong friendship feelings and you want to apologize for wanting to keep him all to yourself, and thats why you've been acting aloof, to try to basically wean yourself off him so he can be free to pursue a girl who will return his love.

If your friend could see that you looked like a dating couple, the only thing missing is that both of you realize you are perfect for each other.

I've finally met a very special guy. We have friends in common and he has an amazing story. He's an orphan, suffered a lot but you can't tell. There isn't anyone who doesn't like him. He's a very happy, kind, polite and naturally nice-to-everyone guy. We talked a lot during the party and exchanged numbers. A few hours after the party he texted saying he loved meeting me and wish it had happened before... All my friends (girls) who knew him already think he's interested. We texted a lot for the following couple of days but all of a sudden it stopped. I don't think I should start texting again. He just won't come talk to me anymore. Has he lost interest? Can't stop thinking about him, don't know what to do

Is he out of school but working a job, or is he in school, HS or college or perhaps he is juggling both? Its possible you don't know what his schedule is totally like and if he has any thing else important that needs his focus and attention right now. Girls tend to like a guy and make him the top priority in their life while guys will have many priorities they juggle in their life, but if a girl is important to them, she'll be one of his top 3 priorities, whatever they may be...so his focus will be divided on other things than you at times, that doesn't mean he is any less interested.
Why do you not think you should text him first? How else will you learn whats going on in his life, and how else will he know you still are interested and miss hearing from him. When you say he wont come talk to you...does that mean in the couple of days after the party, he not only texted but came by to visit you too? I can't tell you what is going on with him, probably nothing unusual going on at all, nothing to worry about.
You must one of the important crucial things in any relationship....good communication. Whenever a guy says or does something you don't understand, dont sit mutely and accept it at the moment only to ask others what it means later. The only way to know whats up is to ask the guy and to ask at the moment he said something you don't understand, or the moment a question comes to mind. Be sure not to call several times a time or every hour wondering why you haven't heard from him yet...thats the other extreme from not asking at all. That type of action doesnt make a gal look too good, more needy. But it is okay to call and say, something about how you got use to daily calls or visits and now that you havent heard for a day or two, you were concerned for him and wondering if everything is okay. This is a friendly enquiryIs he out of school but working a job, or is he in school, HS or college or perhaps he is juggling both? Its possible you don't know what his schedule is totally like and if he has any thing else important that needs his focus and attention right now. Girls tend to like a guy and make him the top priority in their life while guys will have many priorities they juggle in their life, but if a girl is important to them, she'll be one of his top 3 priorities, whatever they may be...so his focus will be divided on other things than you at times, that doesn't mean he is any less interested.
Why do you not think you should text him first? How else will you learn whats going on in his life, and how else will he know you still are interested and miss hearing from him. When you say he wont come talk to you...does that mean in the couple of days after the party, he not only texted but came by to visit you too? I can't tell you what is going on with him, probably nothing unusual going on at all, nothing to worry about.
You must one of the important crucial things in any relationship....good communication. Whenever a guy says or does something you don't understand, dont sit mutely and accept it at the moment only to ask others what it means later. The only way to know whats up is to ask the guy and to ask at the moment he said something you don't understand, or the moment a question comes to mind. Be sure not to call several times a time or every hour wondering why you haven't heard from him yet...thats the other extreme from not asking at all. That type of action doesnt make a gal look too good, more needy. But it is okay to call and say, something about how you got use to daily calls or visits and now that you havent heard for a day or two, you were concerned for him and wondering if everything is okay. this is a friendly enquiry, showing you care enough about him to care if he's okay and nothing terrible has happened. If also shows you are interested in him, cus if you didn't care less, you wouldn't have called. Depending on what he says, accept what he explains and if he still shows interest in you by his responses, don't ask him when you will hear from him next, invite him to something, even if its just to go for a walk, or make popcorn and watch a movie at home, etc... If he is too busy, accept it, cus he probably is. And tell him that you will wait to hear from him when his schedule clears up. At that point is when you stop contacting or checking up on him and wait for him to get in touch with you. If he doesn't maybe he's got a lot on his plate, if it continues too long, he is likely not interested in you to the extent you had hoped

So this is gonna be long, but please stick with me, because idk where else to go. Okay so im 16/f. This year in hs I took engineering. I took this because it fills the requirement I Need for a career life class..so its starts last year when im scheduling and I want to take computers to fill that requirement, but my mom convinces me to take eng.. a class i have no idea about, im not good at building or math, i have anxiety about doing new things and I Never usually take my moms advice..but I did this time. So fast forward to the beginning of the year, and i enter that class, and im the only girl in there, and im scared and quiet and awkward as shit. I barely know anyone in that class..and this kid..who happens to sit on the other side of the table from me, facing my way, starts staring at me..then starts talking to me..and sitting next to me on the comps..and it kept forcing me to talk to him although i was so shy and awkward and didnt wanna talk..and hes the only one that took so much interest in me in that class..so then we start texting and messaging, and hes so sweet and he asks me out and I say no. Because at first i didnt like him like that, and i didnt wanna bf, i cant really hangout and do normal things, and i was scared..but i couldnt explain to him all those things so he kept talking to me and kept trying..and id always avoid his questions about hanging out and all that..and then one day he decided to talk to our mutual friend about how he doesnt know if im friend zoning him and hes worried about it..and she told me and i felt so bad and I talked to her about it, and she made me feel comfortable enough to tell him why i was avoiding his questions and why i wouldnt go out with him. And i was so terrified, but in the end he was really understanding about it and still wanted to be with me. And i had started to like him..and i was really torn about if i should go out with him cause he always wanted to hang, but i couldnt..but then one day he texted me..tomorrow we should kiss and if we do we'll be official..and if we dont then i wont bother you anymore. I was so nervous..this shit has never happened to me before and ive ALWAYS been to scared to take risks, remember that. But i was like fuck it. And now we're together..and its almost been a month. And i honestly believe this relationship happened for a greater purpose and it was meant to be, ya know? Ik thats stupid but everything that happened, and lead up to our being together all adds up and is just too weird to be a coincidence..ive never known this kid before and suddenly hes there? Wtf? It started from me going with engineering, me starting to talk to our mutual friend again over the summer, him talking to this girl over the summer who gave him the balls to even start talking to me in the first place, him starting to talk to our mutual friend that helped us get together..and im a Christian and hes an atheist and he doesnt believe that theres a greater purpose to this..but i really really do. Cause this relationship was something i never wanted or expected but it happened. Does anyone have thoughts on this? Am i crazy or..? Ah! And also hes been seeing this number a lot everyday for the last couple of months and thats around how long weve known each other. And idk what that means but ik it means something! Ah please help im sorry this is long i just ah dont know.

God will use anyone to be a messenger or part of a learning experience for you, the person need not be a Christian. Is there a reason you've met up with him? I can't say what it is but from what you wrote, a possibility might be to help you not be as shy and gain some confidence.
There is a saying I have read, first time I saw it was shared on FB, author unknown but it attempts to explain different reasons why people come into our live for a short time or a long time. Here it is:

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

I had no idea which category to put this under...

My baby is one week old today. I had originally chosen not to breastfeed due to a few reasons but I strongly regret my decision. I was wondering if it is too late to start breastfeeding. Especially because I have been taking ibuprophen twice a day and I drank an energy drink yesterday. Does that mean my milk is contaminated? What if I massage my breasts or drain them to get rid of the bad milk and start fresh? Here are a few other questions too... please please if you know the answers to any of them, please let me know.

1. I want to breastfeed but I still want to formula feed as well. I was hoping to maybe breastfeed at night and formula feed during the day. Is that possible? Assuming she will latch on at this point? Has anyone ever had issues with two different types of milk? I know its okay to do cuz I asked my doctor but I wonder how easy or hard it actually is.

2. If I breastfeed, do I have to pump? I have heard that your breasts can get over filled and hurt and I assume if that happens you have to drain them or something... is this true? If I only plan to feed at night then I worry my breasts will over fill and Im hoping to not have to pump.

3. I know I should ask a lactation consultant all these questions but where do you find one? I assume they cost money and I am so broke. How much do they cost generally? Is there a number I can call to speak to someone for free or are lactation consultants generally free anyway? Assuming I have no insurance... I do but without it how much are they?

Thanks so much;)

There is an organization I know of called the La Leche league. This organization is all about breast feeding, answering all questions, any problems breast feeding moms encounter. I am sure they should be able to advise you how to go about breast feeding your own child even though its a week after birth.
While they are on line, if I remember, some of the bigger cities will have meetings/classes you can attend also, and local offices to visit so that a real live person can observe a mom breast feeding to visually see what the actual problems might be such as a child unable to latch on, etc...
Here is their web address:

http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb.html

Hey im the 15 year old girl that wrote to you about my relationship the other day and what to do about it..hopefully you remember. Anyway, you gave me great advice but never a true answer on what i should to about my situation.My boyfriend is also 15 almost 16 and im his first girlfriend ever. You mentioned his behavior being abusive and that really got me thinking.. Whenever we are together he wants to look at my messages..not like read them all just see if any guys are in my messages.He also looks at my snapchat to. He gets mad at me if i fall asleep texting him or if i dont reply fast to his texts. maybe its just immaturity, idk, but please help me!!

The reason I never gave a definitive answer is because it is your decision which way to go. Either you stay with him and wait to go through more experiences that point to him not being a great choice for a boyfriend, or you listen to your gut feeling, that inner voice that cause you to write and ask for advice in the first place. Something deep down inside of you is sensing something is not quite right, something is off...and while you can't quite put your finger on it or prove it step by step like a scientist proves his theory, just that fact that your feminine intuition is asking questions, not sure about it, and maybe even a little suspicious, is enough reason to cool it with him for a while and hang out with your regular friends again. If he can't handle that and leaves, then its all for the best, he wasn't worth you wasting your time on. If by some slight chance he was acting as he did with you totally out of inexperience and/or copying his dad or someone else, then when you stop allowing him to control your life, he will realise he needs to treat you better to keep your interest, or lose you. And that may be a big life change for him where he either decides to become a better young man. But nothing will happen to change him without challenging him.
One thing too many girls do is make themselves too available to guy. So the guy thinks they can get away with murder, so to speak, and still the girl will stay with him because it makes her feel she is desireable. The girl who lays down the law and tells a guy what she expects of him, and what treatment she will not allow, will find some guys stop hanging out with her cus they don't want to grow up and be responsible and treat a female right in the first place. If you draw the line in the sand so to speak, and he backs down and apologizes for how he's been treating you, and changes truly, not just speaking the words, then he is worth staying with. Youeither won't know until you challenge him. By challenging him, you tell him what conduct/behavior you will accept from him and what you find offensive or disturbing. If you don't like him regulating who you can speak to, such as old friend, male or not, then tell him so. YOu tell him it must stop immediately. That you are going to reload their numbers on your phone, and if you find a single number deleted, he will have lost his chance to ever date you again. But you must be willing to back up any such consequences you give him for his bad behavior.

Its the same with parents who need to discipline a child. If the child say refuses to do their homework and the penalty is not getting to watch their favorite show, go to bed early and not get dessert after dinner, if you relent and let the child have any of those cus you love them so much and don't want to be harsh with them, you actually create a monster. the child learns that they can get away with breaking any rule, not listening to mom and dad cus their threats are empty, they have no backbone to stick with their rules and the child becomes an out of control brat.

Same thing happens with young men. If a girl lets a guy get away with terrible behavior and they still get to date her, then there is no reason to correct his behavior now, is there? I hope you understand now. Best you find the back bone to stand up to him and tell him what behavior you do not like and back it up if he tests you. Little kids test their parents too to see if they really meant the warning they gave. So expect to be tested. You can do it. If you do not think you are strong enough to do so, you are in for a lot of rocky and unhappy, unfulfilling relationships ahead....why??? Because guys like that can easily spot the type of gal they know theycan get away with offensive, abusive behavior and thats all you will find yourself attracting. You know now what is best to do. But I realize that it is your choice to do so or if you choose not to. Sometimes, the best way to learn,for some people, IS by making mistakes....by going through the bad experiences and learning from them. If your experiences with him so far haven't been bad enough to make you really be determined to want something better, then the best thing truly for you is to experience more of the worst. I only say that because thats what I had to go through, experiencing more of the worst before I woke up and came to my senses. I wish you the best dear.
Personally unless the guy is exceptionally wonderful and someone you've know a long time, maybe grown up with, I feel that to date exclusively and commit to be with only one guy for dating or hanging out, at your age to not be the best decision. For some reason, there is this invisible pressure on all teens, something making them feel they all need to couple up and start dating steady at this age which I personally think ridiculous since we as teens, myself included, know/knew very little at this age and therefore teen girls are more susseptible to getting hooked up with a guy who treats them badly and they assume thats the best they can ever get. Wrong. YOu can get lots better dear.
Good luck. Write again if you ever have need.

How do you tell is a guy's love for you is serious?

I once watched a video on relationships and the topic was how to know if a guy really loves you. So I took notes and heres what I learned.

When a gal can't be sure the guy loves her, either he is doing a bad job of showing it, you are doing a bad job of noticing the signs, or your intuition is picking up on something that makes you question what he says and his motives.

7 Questions to determine if he really loves you

1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says “I love you”, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should definitely be one of the top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection that you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or going to a movie. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinions, do you share decisions with him treating you as an equal partner.
6. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that. Doing the opposite is controlling behavior. Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
7. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Friends and relatives make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
8. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore or never did to begin with, he has lost or never had that kind of interest in you. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women, don't you?

How many points are true for you with your guy?
7-8 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.

I can say that all 7 points are true of my 2nd husband. I truly believe this is a good indicator of how much a guy loves you. My ex only qualified on one point, number 6 and failed at all the rest.

My boyfriend and i have beeen together for 1 and a half years now. And we broke up for about 2-3 months and got back together for one month. Well he told me thatbhe got into a fight with his parents but he didnt tell me what it was about. And then on his business instagram i saw that he was selling some stuff to pay for his speeding ticket. Why didnt he tell me about this? Like do you guys have any ideas? Because frankly im concern about why he didnt just tell me this.

You're asking the wrong persons. If you want to know what a guy meant when he said something or why he didn't do something, you have to ask. Your mind will get you into all sorts of crazy scenerios over what it could be if you dont ask questions.

So when he told you he fought with his parents, if he never fights with anyone you could have said, "Gee, you never fight with anyone. You're always so peace loving and laid back. What on earth could have made you fight with them? Do you want to talk about it?
Or if he is prone to become argumentative with people...this is just another case of him being his usual self. To start you might have to say something else like, I've met your parents, they're such sweet people, I can't imagine them losing it and having a verbal fight with you. Do you want to tell me what it was about. Start thinking this way in your mind and soon you'll find it easier to ask questions in a friendly manner, asking if its okay, if they don't mind answering. Never demand an answer, just because you are the girlfriend. If two people who are both mature and have total trust developed over time with each other, they will share all sorts of things with their partner and not hold back. YOu've had a rocky relationship so far with him so there's no trust developed yet to share things like this. And its unlikely a private type personality will ever voluntarily without being asked just share information. I'm an open book myself so when I remarried, I found myself a guy who talks and shares as much as I do. The more open communications there is, the easier it will be to continue to grow that trust as we witness our partners back up their words with their deeds and actions.
I don't know if the car he was speeding in is his or his parents car, but if its theirs, theres a chance they were upset that he was speeding using the family car, upset that he could've caused an accident with that kind of driving, hurt himself, others and wrecked the car at worst case scenerio. You don't know what ground rules there are for him is he is still under legal age of 18. He may have broken some rules. Who's to know. If he can not come out and admit what his part was in causing the parents to fight with him, then he has some way to grow yet before he is capable of making mature adult decisions. What he does to pay off his ticket is his business. It only becomes your business if he's stolen some of your things to try to sell.

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