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friends house
ok so im 15 and im going to a friends house this weekend and my friend invited her bf and my bf.... me and my bf were talking and he wants to have sex this weekend, hes 15 too.... im really scared and dont know what to do ive asked my friends and they just dont know what to say about it... i need advice please help me im freaking out i have so many questions like does it hurt, what if we get caught, what if something goes wrong, what if he breaks up with me the next day. please help me im soooooooo scared!
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Light of truth gave you the best answer.
I only want to address why you might feel the pressure to do so even if scared and not ready.
I do know lots of teens feel that being a virgin is a bad thing and that they need to 'lose virginity' and feel it might as well be now even if its not the best circumstances.
Loss of virginity seems to be associated with penis-vagina sex and does not take into consideration all the other sexual discoveries one goes through and other acts a person does as part of their sexual debut. Virginity is an old fashioned word that is in fact quite erroneous. Its a made up thing. At what point are two gay or lesbian teens no longer virgins? Do you see how the word 'virginity' falls short of covering the topic of having sex.
At the point that hormones first begin coursing through your body slowly maturing it physically, you begin a wonderful journey called your sexual debut. It starts with becoming familiar with and understanding the changes to your body. You touch yourself, get a period, begin to feel horny, and learn to masturbate to give self please, perhaps progress to using toys and massagers. Once older and ready for more, you go to the kissing and touching each other stage, eventually after more time passes maybe mutual masturbation, giving body massages, and so on. But its not an all in one event that can be considered losing your virginity. So progress through your sexual discovery journey at a rate you are comfortable with.
I highly admire a gal in her early 20s who has a website on positive sex and dating and relationships, its Laci Green on you tube. I am attaching her video on the sexual debut. Its wonderful and she's got lots of other great video's. Say no to the guy...don't even go to the friends house and place yourself into that position or you may end up forced against your will. Here's the links:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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You're not ready.
This is how you know you're ready..
You're using protection. Meaning you're using condoms and on birth control. Condoms can fail, so you need to be on birth control. You don't want to get pregnant.
You're confident.
You're doing it with someone you love and care about.
That person loves and cares about you. He won't leave you the next day or even the next week.
I'll answer your questions though.
Does it hurt? For you, it probably will since you're only 15. You're body is still developing, it'll hurt like crazy. It won't be one of those romantic moments for you.
What if you get caught? Well then you're screwed. You shouldn't even be doing it somewhere you'd get caught.
What if something goes wrong? That's why you need birth control and condoms. I'm just assuming you're not on birth control and once you get on it, it takes a month for it to start working. You shouldn't be putting yourself in a situation where you can't handle the consequences.
What if he breaks up with you the next day? You shouldn't even be dating a guy who you can't trust. You shouldn't have sex with someone you don't trust. You can't say you trust him because trust isn't thinking he might possibly leave you after he gets sex.
At 15, sex is a big deal. Besides all the physical consequences like pain, pregnancy and STD's, there's the whole emotional side to it.
You're scared. You should be having sex when you're not scared or nervous. You need to feel confident and comfortable. You're just not ready yet.
If he's a good boyfriend, he'll understand. Tell him you're not ready.
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It's okay, take a deep breath.
I lost mine about a month before I turned 15. I'm now 23 and I look back and regret it. Not just because the guy broke my heart (he did), it was just because I was too young. I was simply not mature enough to handle the possible consequences. When we are 15, we believe we are so mature but we're not.
The best thing for you to do is tell your boyfriend you are not ready.
Re-read your question, only read it as if you're someone else. Pretend you are a stranger reading your question about some other girl. Does that girl sound ready to have sex?
To me, she sounds nervous, uneasy, scared..
Don't do it.
You want your first time to be perfect, right?
Does perfect include being scared, nervous and afraid of getting caught or the guy leaving you? I doubt it. Ask yourself if you're ready, and there is your answer. =]
If you decide you're not ready, tell your boyfriend that. If he is a decent young man, he will understand and he will stop pressuring you. If he doesn't understand and continues, you can find someone better. I promise you, you can.
Keep your chin up, girl! =]
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