|
I have a crush on a teacher
Im a senior in high school turning 18 in a week. There is new teacher at our school and she is gorgeous.I have a big crush on her.I don't have her class or anything but i see her in the halls sometimes and I always give her the biggest smile and give her a look.Im just wondering what do you guys think I should do.I don't want her to get fired or anything just over a crush but I do believe im in a little bit of a better situation than most people having crushes on there teacher since I don't have her class and I actually really do have feelings for her
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
It's normal to have crushes on teachers. It becomes a problem when the students want to act on those feelings.
You're not in a better situation because if you did try to make some sort of move, she could still get fired, even if you don't have her class and even if you're 18. Not just because of the law, but because of school policies/rules,ect.
I mean maybe in college it'd be a different situation if you didn't have her class, but in high school it's still the same. She can get in lots of trouble.
]
Crushes on teachers are as old as time itself. Well, almost. At least as old as schools and a formal education system. It is completely natural and 100% fine for a guy or a girl to have a crush on a teacher. It only becomes a problem when that crush becomes an obsession or worse, moves into the reality of a physical relationship.
It is quite thoughtful and unselfish of you to be concerned about her possibly getting into some kind of trouble. This shows maturity on your part and tells me that the likelihood of you having real feelings for her is quite possible. However, the fact that you do not have any of her classes wouldn't make any difference in this regard. That might fly in some colleges but certainly not in high school.
You are a senior, you're halfway through the school year. If you really, deeply have an interest in her, wait until after you graduate and turn 18 (if you haven't already) to pursue it. That way, you don't have to worry about any of your main concerns.
This will also give you more time to examine your true feelings to figure out if it is more than just a crush.
]
In the vast majority of cases, the way the law is written, it would still be illegal for her to have any sort of romantic relationship with you. Her being a teacher at your school is enough. That places her in a position of authority over you, and mosts laws will still expressly forbid it. Your being 18 wont matter.
Even if the letter of the law doesn't forbid it, her employment contract will. She would most certainly be disciplined, or fired, should anything happen with you while you remain a student, even if you are over 18.
You seem like a smart guy. Some of the people who come here just refuse to see the risks in this sort of situation, but you clearly respect her enough to realize that what you are looking for might be dangerous or unwanted for her.
It's okay to have a crush. You are going to have lots of them in your life. Some of them, you'll never act on for a bunch of reasons. Frankly, this is one you'd be better off not acting on. You put her at risk and in a very tricky situation if you express a romantic or sexual desire for her.
I think the best thing you could do is nothing, and appreciate that this is one of those crushes that you shouldn't act on. If you feel you MUST act on it, write a letter to her expressing your interest AFTER you have graduated. That would be the way to handle this that is most respectful of her and her career.
]
You didn't say whether you are male or female. Females usually will say something about being bi or gay, so I will assume you are a male.
Males in their teens are just beginning to experience the attraction to the female form. Just because a man is visually attracted to a female doesnt mean there is a green light to proceed with seeing if a relationship can form. Throughout your life, as a male you will find yourself in situations where you are visually attracted to females, so many, they become countless. The strength of attraction may vary a little but not enough to keep you from fantasizing, where you do more than just staring at and smiling at a gal.
All relationships start with visual attraction on the part of both the guy and gal. this prompts the next stage of opening conversation. If you find each other still interesting, meaning you like how their mind works and you're not still focused on the body, you both decide to move into hanging out together to get to know each other a bit better, what common interests, whats the other persons hopes dreams etc... and if all is still going well, you start dating. From dating people go to being exclusive with each other and then to long term relationships like marriage for one.
The feelings a person can have when they are visually attracted are real...yes....but these are not the kind of feelings that are needed in a relationship where the two are in love with each other and they have more than just sex between them. There is talk of love at first sight. I beg to differ. What they feel is attraction and these cases are very few....but when really listening to them, these few said they knew in their heart, felt at a gut level, or heard their inner voice saying this was the person they would be with the rest of their life. That is the exception to the rule. And even these people though they knew they would end up loving the person, did not truly have the needed deep unconditional feelings of love, of being in love with the other. Why? The depth of love develops over time. I can admire certain qualities in a person and think highly of them and feel good when I am around them because I really like their character and how they make those around them feel, some are a people person and draw people to them like magnets. that does not mean every single acquaintance is going to be a romantic partner.
Enjoy the feelings you feel cus you are going to experience them too numererous a time to remember in life, thats just the way a male is made.
BUT....and this is a big one....in probably 98% of these situations where you find yourself attracted, the wise thing to do will be to exercise some self control and Never act on it. Yes, thats right...you and your self control are going to have to be life long close buddies. Just as the situation with a teacher, no matter is you were now legally 18 or not, there are situations in life where you just dont wanna go there and risk messing up their life or yours. What if you were attracted to a female coworker, single or married...some places have bans on office dating and of course theres rules against sexual harassment. If you go after someone who isn't interested back, she could tell staff you're sexually harrassing her and you get a warning or lose your job. What if its a female boss you go after? She can't afford to look bad to the higher ups, so she will have to find a good excuse to lay you off, or you find a lonely married lady and go after her but she has a psycho jealous husband who puts you on his hit list and is doing everything he can to take you out.
There's so many things that can go wrong if you're allowing yourself to indulge in the pleasure of starting something with a female you find gorgeous who for some ethical, moral reason or rules or laws, is not okay to go after.
So my advice is to never approach her ever!!!
]
More Questions: |