|
I lost myself in loving someone
I am 22 years old and for the first time in my life, I can truly say that I am in love. It is the scariest, most wonderful feeling in the world, but I constantly find myself stressing over the little things.. Worrying about things that don't matter and constantly worrying about how my significant other feels. We've been together for almost a year and we just moved in together over three months ago. He treats me like a princess and is constantly trying to make me happy, so whats the problem? He has a lot of friends that are girls and I have to say that I am insecure... He doesn't ever make me feel that way. Its my own thoughts that make me insecure. I have been dealing with overwhelming anxiety, mostly around the time I get my period. He tells me everything is okay, but im constantly thinking that nothing is.... I don't know why I think this way... I love him so much and he makes me so happy, but the littlest things affect me... I'm sorry if I'm not making myself clear, but I just need someone to help me.. I need someone to tell me they have gone through this too and things will get better. If anyone has had these feelings, please contact me. I am in serious need of advice, judgement free. Feel free to tell me how it is... Just tell me something.. Please.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
He sounds like a wonderful guy. I understand perfectly what you are going through. He may not be doing anything or saying anything to give you worries but you may need to be hearing certain words from him that will help you build trust in him. What I mean is that he might try sharing more detail with you about his thoughts, what he's thinking, and building you up. My 2nd husband is a man who has lots of female friends, some are like family cus they were sisters of his childhood friends growing up, and a couple were old girlfriends, and theres his ex wife. He is a man who treats women well, holds them in high regard in society and is supportive and will help uphold all their goals and dreams. Despite the fact he occasionally chats with female friends, I am not jealous because I am so sure of how important I am to him. Part of what helps is his telling me how even as a 10 yr old boy he would dream what his future wife would look like and he'd see my body, just not my face, he as a teen got into psychology and spiritual belief systems and knew he wanted a woman who would think for herself, be spiritual and have her very own views on life. And he got that. He tells me daily how he is the luckiest man and has the best wife in the world. He proves it not just by words but supporting me in anything I do such as working in this advice column. He applauds me and says I am doing a wonderful gift of service and praises my choice of words. I have my off days where I don't do as well. Luckily there are other advice givers who step in and fill in where I drop the ball.
So I can't really judge your situation whether you actually need to hear more of some specific stuff from your guy or not but it might be worth having a talk about it.
One thing you can do for sure is monitor your thoughts.
If you allow one false thought to dwell in your mind, it will lead to another one and soon you have a whole string of negative thoughts coming up with story line in which you are not important to your boyfriend. Stop the thoughts the moment they pop into your head and replace the negative ones with those that are true, state them aloud to yourself if you must.
I don't know if feeling more vulnerable can be tied emotionally to ones period. But perhaps it is tied more to not being available sexually if you both are squeamish about sex during a period. Again...negative thoughts you would need to deal with. Basically if the problem lies entirely with you as you seem to think, then you really need to focus more on learning how to correct negative thought processes. There are many great books written by psychologists like work books for you to learn and test your self as you progress through chapters. Im sorry but I no longer have the books, too many down sizing moves...and I can't remember the names but asking at a bookstore and browsing books on the topic should help you find something that you click with.
Good luck dear.
]
More Questions: |