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would it really be wrong to try to get with a girl that is engaged?
there is this tutor I work with in the tutoring lab in college. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. She is about 27 and I am 22 and she is engaged, One thing I noticed about her is that she was very touchy feely. , like patting me on the back or shoulder.
My class ended a few months ago but I saw her around campus when I was going to meet up with a friend recently and chatted with her
now I find myself going out of my way to that location just so I can hopefully see her and talk to her again. Last week I went and sat there for about half an hour (I had nothing else to do though so I wasn't skipping anything) I just get this extremely good feeling when talking to her or seeing her.
I recently ran into this girl again. She was in the math lab, I went in and started chatting to her and she seemed happy to see me and happy to chat. I get this extremely good feeling whenever I see her or talk to her. I can't explain it. I think she clearly likes me too.
I can't stand the thought of not being with her I think she is the girl for me. Would it really be wrong if I tried to get her to break up with her fiancee and be with me instead? I have heard of people that have done this and done it successfully so it really wrong? Why can they do it but not me?
also, I need to make it clear because some people purposefully misrepresent. I am not a stranger to this girl! I've worked with her for about two years. I have her email and is friends with her on Facebook
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i got bad news for you buddy AMIGO your in friendzone she is clearly using u man my adivice for u go lissne to tomleykis trust me bro you wil thank me in the future
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I thought in your last questions you were trying to ask us that you weren't interested in trying to break up an engagement?
So you were trying to justify your obsession with going out of the way to hopefully run into her and talk to her, when clearly you wanted to be more than just friends with her.
First of all, she's engaged to be married. If she didn't want to be, she wouldn't have said yes.
When you had previously told her you were interested in her, she backed off. That means she didn't want to give you the wrong idea. So she's not interested in dating you.
If she's touchy feely, it doesn't mean she's interested in you. She might be just that kind of person. You shouldn't read into things.
Patting on the back or shoulders is not touchy feely anyways.
Yes, it would be wrong of you to try to break up her relationship.
Just because other people do it, doesn't make it right. They shouldn't do it.
Like Rahzie said, if you think she likes you, go ask her. If you really think you have a shot with her, go tell her how you feel. At least at that point you'll know how she actually feels and where to go from there.
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I agree with Razhie 100%. I too have seen numerous of your previous questions. You have not been happy yet with anyones responses because we are not going to tell you what you want to hear.
You have to ask yourself, if the way I am going about this is right, then why are dozens of people wrong? It's not because we don't know you or her personally, but because we have come across the same scenerios in life or friends lives, just different characters.
So if we by chance are telling the truth, and have multiple times and you are not accepting our advice, I can only conclude that something is wrong with your line of thinking. Everything you have shared with us so far is to us obviously not normal behavior for most people in society. What you dream of and propose doing breaks codes of ethics and morals that many live by. My recommendation is that instead of investing time into writing us, you invest your time into seeing a Psychologist, a counselor.
Whats the worst that could happen? If you believe yourself to be normal and in the right, the counselor will confirm it and then you can know that all of us here are full of bull crap and stop wasting your time talking to us. If the counselor does discover you need to work on some things in your thinking, things that will help you in life, that will only work to your benefit and help you in having healthy relationships in life in the future.
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This person has made specific decisions in her life and it is disrespectful to not honor them. By this, I mean, yes, I think it is wrong to try to get with this person in this situation. If she changes her mind about her fiance, you'll likely be the first person to know, but the decision is up to her entirely.
Along with Razhie, I also remember your previous question(s). What you need to understand is her perspective. Would it be wrong to break her peace of mind and endanger her relationship for a chance to get with her? Yes, in my opinion, it would be wrong. I don't think you should.
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I have not seen anyone 'purposefully misrepresent' what you have asked. Your words make it clear what is happening here, and what you have been doing.
You want to get with this woman - who is engaged. You've denied that up and down before - and swore you'd never try to break her and her fiance up. You got quite upset with people who clearly saw that was what you were aiming at. You fixated on little parts of their responses, because you weren't happy with the overall message.
The overall message, as you've been told repeatedly, is that what you are doing is not cool and you should stop. You are working very hard to justify your boundary crossing behaviour and it's really unhealthy the way you are obsessing over this woman. This isn't how healthy, respectful people express romantic attraction to others.
If you want to be a decent human being about this, just straight up tell her that you are interested (again, I know she asked before and you were honest). That way she'll know what is actually going on and she can behave in accordance with that. Right now, there is no reason to believe that she is aware of the seriousness of your obsession, or the fact you are going out of the way to run into her, or that you are trying so hard to interpret her basic signs of friendship (her touching you, smiling at you and talking to you) as something more than friendship.
If you want to know if you have a chance with her, just ask. Stop following her, stop reading into and imagining a connection that she almost certainly doesn't feel, and just be honest with her. Then you'll know for sure, and you can face reality - whatever that is - and stop living in an obsessive fantasy.
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