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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Ok so im 15 and my boyfriend tried to finger me last night and it was just embarrassing because he couldn't even get his finger in really! I have orgasmed before by just rubbing myself and have tried fingering myself but i cant even do it. I am mentally ready to have a sexual relationship and im not nervous but i just dont know what to do! He has eaten me out becasue he tried to get it more wet down there but that still didnt help. I know there is a layering you have to break but people have told me that some sports will make you break it with out sexual activity such as cyclying or horse riding. Well iv been riding horses since i was 4 and i guess that didnt work ahah; so please just some advice would help. And please dont give any advice on my emotional ready-ness because there is really no point.
Sorry for the grammar issues in this i typed fast aha
It is not so much emotional readiness as your subconscious readiness. Meaning as much as you may have thought you were ready and willing. Down deep you were either not ready, not comfortable or just plain scared.
I would go with items 2 and 3. Sex in general for a guy is not as emotional as it is for a girl. A girl needs to feel safe and secure, comfortable both in her surroundings and that she will not be disturbed or discovered. The discovered part will stick with you well into your child rearing days. One thing moms always worry about is having a child walk in on her or needing her while she is engaged in sex.
As for scared that goes along with the fear of being discovered or being interrupted. There is also the fear of pain. While I can't assure you of anything about being interrupted or discovered I can tell you that being fingered should not cause you any pain. A finger is not as big as a boys erect penis and will not stretch you like his penis would.
What I suggest is the next time you think your boyfriend will want to finger you make sure you do so in a place you are comfortable. Not in the back seat of his car or out in the woods or barn/garage. Your room or his where you can lock the door even if his or your parents aren't home.
Now that I've told you the possible way let me say that at 15 you are playing with fire. This too may be a reason you clamp up and won't allow his finger in you. While your bodies are capable of this kind of sex play and more. Your really to young to be emotionally involved to this degree and I think subconsciously you know this, but want to satisfy your boyfriend to keep him.
If giving your boyfriend this kind of sex to keep him then he doesn't respect you properly. If you give into him now what will you do when he wants more. Your both to young to be having sex. Yes sex is a wonderful thing. A wonderful thing between two adults who understand fully the consequences of what could happen and are capable of dealing with them on their own.
We get hundreds of letters from girls your age each week scared sick they are pregnant. This is the consequence you could be looking at down the road if you give in to your boyfriend today for tomorrow he will want more. Just give this some more thought.
which branch is it where you go once/twice a month and two weeks in the summer?
Any branch of the Military has reserve units that meet once a month and two weeks a year. Then their is the National Guard which is the States Military unit The National Guard is under the direction of the Governor of your state and meets in the same manner as a reserve unit.
The National Guard is generally an Army Unit that receives basic training in the Army then returned to the National Guard for a six year commitment. The President of the United States can at his discretion order any Guard unit federalized and brought in to augment the regular army. For the last ten years many of the Guard units have been federalized as need to support the wars in the middle east.
i dont really have a very good commutaction or relationship with my mom i dont really talk to her even when she asks me stuff i just nod my head and i dont have a aunt and my dad doesnt live with me my mom over 50 so she doesnt get her period any more also im really shy i was also voted the most queit ist in the school i dont know how to tell her can u help ps also she doesnt have a cell or a email also if i leave a note my step dad would proabaly find it and i dont really like to talk to my parents help plz
Getting your period is nothing sexual. It is a natural bodily function for a young lady. Just as going to the bathroom is. While your mother may not be getting her period any longer she knows that sometime after the age of puberty you will be getting yours. she is probably waiting for you to tell her so she can help you take proper care of yourself during your periods.
When you are not feeling well you tell your mother so you can stay home from school; correct. This is no different then that. A new part of you is starting to function. You will be, if you haven't already, start growing breast. You will need training bras' and then regular bras. Knowing what type of sanitary products and how to use then are no different.
You also need to start seeing a gynecologist. Mom can arrange for this to happen You will probably be more comfortable with a female GYN something you need to tell her. If you are over 14 or when you obtain the age of 14 you can see any doctor about questions or concerns of your reproductive system in private without mom in the exam room. Anything you and the doctor discuss, including birth control remain totally confidential by law.
This all starts with telling mom you have gotten your first period. Ask her to come into your room, away from your step dad and just say."Mom I have gotten my period and let her take it from their.
I'm 21 at the moment, was recently accepted into a medical college. Just about to finish a science degree, I'm not sure if I really want to do medicine or not, but it appears the only good career pathway with the current economic situation and the pressures from family.
Was wondering if anyone could give me some career advice, about the long term effects of doing it, does it mean my own personal life is over?
You are 20 something which makes me someone your grandfather's age. While I cannot tell you how to spend your life maybe a little grandfatherly advice will help you sort things out. It appears you are being pressured into a pathway you are not sure you want to follow.
First congratulations on your acceptance to medical school, this is quite an accomplishment and should be given considerable consideration in your deliberations. Not all undergraduates make it into medical school while still in undergraduate school. This tells me your MSAT scores were quite high. Showing you have a high degree of aptitude for medicine.
Try and discount the pressure from your family. Every parent would love to see their child become a doctor or lawyer. This is pride talking based on your ability. What you have to consider is what is going to make you happy. You may learn the mechanics of being a great surgeon but be miserable because this career does not fulfill you as a person. It is not how much money you make that will make you happy. It is what you do to make that money is where happiness begins.
My son is a firefighter/paramedic. He saved four lives last year as a paramedic, by EMS standards that is high. I would love him to take the bridge course to being an RN. He could still be a firefighter/paramedic and work as an RN part time until he retires. With the demands for Rn's he could work 1 or 2 shifts a week and make more than he will in retirement pay. He is happy being a paramedic. He is good at it and it is acknowledge he is one of the best in the County. No matter how much I would like him to take the bridge course I can't push him to do so until he is ready. This goes for you too.
If you do not want to be a doctor or work in the medical field then don't go to medical school. For no matter how good you may be you will be miserable. Take a year off from school. Sort out and seek out what you may want in a career. It may or may not turn out that you want to go to medical school. If you do I believe the door to medical school will still be open to you.
Last week I was on vacation and gave a guy a blowjob. It was pretty stupid looking back since I hardly knew the guy. I do know you're supposed to use condoms when actually having sex to stay safe. But is it the same for a blowjob? I guess it's too late now...but I was still wondering!
I agree with masterclinic that you should be tested now and again in 6 mos. While condoms do not prevent the transmission of all STDs they do protect against many of them. Their use in sex with someone you are not in a long term relationship wit, who has not been tested is, I would say mandatory for all sex acts.
This is for your protection as well as your partners. Remember when having unprotected sex you are having sex not only with that partner but with everyone else that partner may have had unprotected sex with. For your own saftey no rubber no sex.
I'm 19 year old female and I been having a pain in my right lower abdominal for a month now two weeks after it traveled to my back well right behind that spot and just a week ago my right side like my ribs area will hurt when I laughed or breathed in. Two days after it just got worse it just hurt without doing anything and I feel it right above my stomach under my breast area. Well I just been feeling alot of pain and I never cry ever for anything emotional or pain but one day I hurt so bad they just came out. Also they have done an ultra sound the first week of me feeling my lower abdominal pain and they said everything looked good. Idk if my drs an idiot or there's nothing wrong but I been in alot of physical pain for awhile now and I just want it to go away. So if anyone can help me out or if they nothing anything to this I'd really like to hear what you have to say. Ty
You should seek a second opinion from a specialist, if your health insurance allows you to do so without a referral. If you need a referral then you need to ask you PCP for one.
The specialist I would recommend would be an Internist, Gastroenterologist or a liver and Kidney specialist. I would suggest one of the first two as they cover all of the important organs that might be causing your pain.
There are a number of different test that can be run to see if you have gall stones, Kidney stones or a liver problem. Most likely the least invasive and least painful would be an MRI. If the sonogram was not conclusive than the next step should have been, to my thinking, an MRI since you are still in pain. Then again I am not a doctor.
My sister in law was living in a trailer. Which was my husbands and mine. She moved out this past week ( I had not been in the trailer while she lived there) She moved 300 miles away. She has two children and a husband she used to have a dog. We decided to remodel the trailer when she moved out so after she moved we go into the trailer and there is trash every where clothes dirty diapers used condoms. ETC, The toilet was filled with crap. There was pee soaked carpets, black mold in the fridge roaches etc. She is living with a friend in another state now. The kids are away from it now but it is bothering me so much. (when she moved into the trailer it was not this way we had it cleaned up good.)
Then follow my advise on documenting the condition of the trailer as you have found it. Then contact Child Protective services in the County or City for the State she now lives in. The pictures document your concern. As a immediate family member you concern is valid and you have every right to ask them to investigate and intercede if needed. If CPS takes the children be prepared for they may ask you to take custody if there is no one in their state, a relative, to do so.
I'm not sure what your question is. Are you asking for advice on how or if you should ask your sister to pay for the cost of cleaning and remodeling the trailer? Is your question more for the health and safety of her children,.
The answer to both questions starts with documenting the condition the trailer is in. Take pictures of the trailer. Makes sure in each picture is a copy of that days local news paper of which you have also taken a good picture of. This documents when the pictures were taken.
No matter where she and her children are there is a child protection service office. If your concerns are for the health and safety of her children you can then send the pictures to that office. You have every right to ask them to investigate the current living situations of your nieces or nephews based on the condition you found your trailer in. If the children's current conditions are equal to or worse, or heading in that direction CPS now has the documentation needed to take the appropriate action to protect the children.
The pictures also document your loss. Unfortunately your sister lives out of state. If she refuses to pay for repairs, depending on the cost, you can take her to either District small claims court or to a higher court. Unfortunately for civil action her return to answer the summons is not enforceable. You will receive a default judgement which you would then have to get the court in the state she is now living in to enforce. Of course all the hard feelings the family may put to this will go a long with any action you may take against your sister.
Over a year ago, I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, had a miscarriage (in which my ex told me he was happy that my baby had gone to hell), was struggling with bulimis, and my father figure died of a really painful cancer. I was in the military, away from everyone I knew and had only one friend who knew all of this. I felt ugly, worthless, and insecure. This friend told me the only way a man would love me was if I got more "sexual experience" (I had only ever slept with my ex.) I idiotically followed this advice and slept with four rather random people. This friend who had given me said advice grew to be my best friend, then my boy friend, and now is my fiancé. He constantly calls me a whore for those four times, and repeatedly tells me how disgusting I am. How do I fix this?
My advice tell him to take a hike, you don't need him. You are walking down the road towards another abusive relationship. Leave him now before the pain and misery of a divorce.
Get some counseling to find out why you are attracted to this type of man so you can learn to avoid them in the future. You deserve a better man than this guy and your ex.
You may also wish to call a group called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They can help you find someone in your area to help you as i have suggested. They operate a 24/7 hotline. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE
I am in a happy long term relationship with my boyfriend - 3 years
However last year I slept with another boy, which meant id given this boy my virginity not my boyfriend. I have repented and so on and he has forgiven me.
But my boyfriend wants a virgin to sleep with, as i made him wait so long and then just gave it away meaninglessly. I just dont know what to do. I dont know how to make this happen
I am probably old enough to be your grandfather so maybe the wisdom of age may help.
I think your boyfriend is thinking of leveling the playing field by giving his virginity to someone else rather than you. The simple reason as I said is to level the playing field and put you both at the same point in your relationship from a sexual standpoint.
From a logic standpoint I can see his point. Common sense says there is all ready one wedge between you. If he does this and you go along with this for the purpose of making things right between you; you will only be driving that wedge deeper.
I don't know what your first experience was like. My wife tells me hers was not the greatest, she was not a virgin when I met her. It was painful, she bled was 20 years old and living alone. The guy who took her virginity was an idiot. He was not tender at all.
I did not miss the fact that my wife was not a virgin the first time we made love. When we did we already knew, it was love at first sight for us, that we loved each other and when we made love it was a beautiful thing for both of us.
A man loosing his virginity is simply the act of intercourse itself. There is no pain involved and he will probably climax quickly. The fact that you are not a virgin will make his first sexual experience more enjoyable as you will enjoy it more knowing there will be no pain, or little pain depending on his size, and no tearing or bleeding.
Do not compound the mistake you made by letting him make a mistake you will both regret.
so i'm a 17 yr old male. my hair has been falling out for a while. since i was like in 7th grade.back then it was bad. when i took a shower alot of hair would come out i mean alot however not chunks. after a while it started falling out less. i have had alot of stress in my life and 7th and 8th grade were very stressful. after i'd say freshmen year my hair started to fall out less but it stil constantly falls out. way less but still. can this possibly caused by stress or maybe genetic since my dad went bald at a fairly young age. any ideas?
Unfortunately you have two of the common factors for early baldness. When I was in high school one of my friends was practically bald by the time we graduated. At that time we did not have the products we have today or the medicines we have to slow this problem or even arrest it.
Given your age I wouldn't fool around with over the counter medications unless directed by your doctor. Below is a website you can use to find a doctor who is trained and Board certified in hair restoration.
http://www.ishrs.org/articles/your-male-baldness.htm
I'm 17/f. Ever since I was 11 or 12 , I've developed little dots on my leg. They look like black heads, but they're not. It makes m ea little self-conscious to wear shorts, bikini bottoms, etc. Does anyone know what these might be & how to get rid of them?
Flare is probably right. The age you say they started to appear is about the age you should have started puberty and the hair on your legs pits and pubic area would start to thicken and grow. Try to remember when, and at what age you started to shave your legs to see if it coincides with when these dots really started to show.
There are three or four things you can do about this.
First: You can go French and not shave for a while, giving the hair a chance to grow out.
Second: See a Dermatologist to see if a doctor can advise you on how to open the pores to allow these hairs to grow out.
Third: Waxing your legs, painful.
Fourth electrolysis, this will permanently remove the hair. It is expensive and painful.
My advise is to see a dermatologist. I'm fairly certain the doctor should be able, after examining you, be able to recommend something, possibly and over the counter product used by doctors direction that will help or even a prescription medication. If you parents have health insurance this is the best way to go and should be a covered visit.
If not then wait until the fall when long pants are appropriate again and try the french way.
Me and my boyfriend like doing stuff (gibbering, hand job, dry humping) and I was wondering how much is too much. Like we hang out about 2 times a week and we always end up feeling each other up and going further. I feel like we're too into sexual stuff but I cant tell. So how often is too often for doing sexual things? 15/female
TO me this is a very simple question to answer. If you feel you are having to much sexual stuff, you are uncomfortable with the amount of sexual stuff you are doing? Then you are doing to much sexual stuff.
You didn't say how old you are but I will guess you are in your early to mid teens. I won't lecture on abstinence I'm sure your parents have already done that. What I will say is regardless of whether you are just making out or if you go all the way. First you decide what you are willing to do. If you say no or enough is enough. Then he has to stop? Anything done beyond your saying no regardless of what is being done is either sexual assault or rape. By the way that works both ways if he says no.
I hope this helps
Is tape only intercourse? I told my boyfriend I didn't want to give him a blowjob. But he stuck his dick in my face and demanded. I resisted so he just hacked off in my face until he came. Is this considered rape? 15/f
If what has happened to you is rape or not is a decision the police would have to make. If it is Rape, it is rape in a lesser degree than forcible rape or forcible sodomy which is what oral sex is considered.
What has happened is you have been sexually assaulted in a major degree. No mater how old your boyfriend is this should be reported to your parents and the police. Why? Simply if he did this with you this time; what will happen next time he wants sex and will it be with you or some other girl? Will he force you or another girl to have intercourse with him next time? How much will you or she be hurt by him to get what he wants? If he is allowed to get away with this type of a sexual assault he will escalate his assaults in the future. This unfortunately has been proven statistically by a number of researchers.
By reporting him to the police you may also be helping him correct his behavior now while it is still correctable. If he is a juvenile, someone under 18, the courts look to correct not punish.
It is most important for yourself and his future victims, that you tell your parents as soon as you read this. Then call the police and report him.
I would also like you to call an organization called RAINN. The name stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. You have suffered a traumatic attack for which you need help to deal with. This organization operates a 24/7 365 day hotline to help victims of Rape, abuse and Incest. They will help you find people in your home town to help you deal with what has happened. Their number is: 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call them.
I'm 13 and there's white stuff coming out of my vagina, I'm really worried I had it for about 1 year now.. All my pants have sticky white slime... Please help me I'm really worried! HELP!
From Rebecca
I agree with JustJessOx. If you have already gotten your period and not seen a gynecologist I suggest you have mom schedule an appointment for you. Now that you are getting your period regularly you should add a gynecological visit to your yearly physical. Do not worry your GYN can examine you without rupturing your Hymen as your Hymen has a hole in it to allow the menstrual blood out. This yearly visit is very important for young women to have regardless if the are sexually active or not.
Once the doctor finds out finds out if this discharge requires some type of medication or if it can be corrected then the doctor can help you decide what to do to make you feel cleaner. Actually mom can help you as well.
This discharge is not something sexual and is something you can and should be discussing with mom so she can see that it is properly taken care of. I am guessing that part of the cause is the new hormones now coursing through you and may eventually clear up on its own. Still you need to make that first gynecological visit if you have not had on.
To feel cleaner and to keep from staining you panties and outer clothing you could wear something like a 'LiteDays Pantie liner". This will help keep your clothing from staining and offer some deodorant as well.
I'm kind of with this guy right now we aren't officially dating but we are an "item" I guess and we recently have taken our relationship a bit further and at times I get the sense that he thinks he owns me or something. For example he is doing this rap battle thing at the mall soon and he doesn't want me to go and he said its because he thinks I'm too innocent and that it's not a place I should be (we are pretty opposite he's from "the hood" as he says and I'm just a "goodie two shoes") and I don't mind if he doesn't want me there but I told him "so you don't want me to come and see? Because I'm pretty sure I can handle it" and he said "no you can't I won't let you" well I understand if he doesn't want me in that environment but the fact that the word "let" was in his mind worries me a bit and he has also said to me that I always have to say the opposite of what he says which isn't true and I asked him "well what am I suppose to do just agree with everything you say even if I don't?" and he never answered me, he just told me he was tired and was going to go to sleep and left my question unanswered which seemed a little shady
He is very sweet, caring and thoughtful but is he starting to think he owns me?
I'm 16 and a female and I would appreciate any gender answering my question but I would like a males perspective as well as a female so I could see the difference in view point thank you and I hope I'm not asking too much but I'm open to anyone answering my question
I would really liked to have known his age before answering this question. I'm guessing that he is around your age. If so then you are correct he does in a way see you as his property. Not in like a house or car but just belonging to him.
To him this means he needs to be protective of you. The goodie two shoes remark he made is probably what attracts him about you. You are his opposite and if you remember your basic science class, opposites attract.
What I am not sure of is he is the right type of guy for you. This type of guy, being from the hood withstanding, is generally the type who becomes overly protective. When that happens you become smothered and can actually be placed in danger from his being protective. He is already showing the bad side of his protecting you by trying to control where you can go. Controlling where you can go, then who can see leads to a very dangerous position for you to be in. This boy while learn to be a controller if he is not already one.
My advice to you is to rethink whether this is someone you want to be with. As the saying goes there are more fish in the sea. If you put your hook back in the water I'm sure you can hook a boy who will not stifle you and the two of you can try and build a proper relationship.
Hi everyone!
I have a couple of questions.
I have regular periods; never miss one. Well I start on the 14th of EVERY month. For some reason I didn't get a period at all in March, and I have started yet this April either. Yes, me and my boyfriend have had unprotected sex, but the last time we had sex, I got my period two weeks later; and took pregnancy tests and everything-NEGATIVE.
So why is my period late? March I started working out at the YMCA, 4 days a week; and I've been stressed, but not to the max with school, work & family issues.
ONE MORE QUESTION:
Fiance' and I went on vacation to Gatlinburg; we had sex in the hottub, and he pulled out and nut got in the hot tub; I was sitting there naked, of course, and the cum was coming towards me; could I get pregnant that way, or does the steam and chemical kill it? I mean it didn't get inside me, I don't think; so I'm curious.
Thanks.
One would think the chemicals in the water in the hot tub would kill the sperm. If the water was hot enough that should do it as well. Fact is men should wear the dresses as the scrotum, the sack holding his testicles, contracts to brings his testicles closer to his body when they need warmth and expands when they need cooling. If the testicles over heat; the heat can kill off sperm and is why men should not wear skin tight clothing.
As for your period. The exercising you are doing if it is excessive can be causing you period to be interrupted. Professional women athletes generally do not get their periods while playing and practicing. Olympic women athletes generally have there development stunted until they stop practicing. It is possible you are exercising to hard.
can girl become pregnant ihf she has sex not during period but after 10 days of period
From what I have read the middle of your cycle is when you are most likely most fertile. Now all women are different and every women can ovulate at different times.
The best way to prevent pregnancy other then abstinence is to be on a good form of birth control. Condoms which the boy should wear in any cast as they do protect against some but not all STDs, are only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. Then only if the boy is wearing the condom correctly.
If you are over 14 a law called HIPPA allows you to seek medical treatment for reproductive medical treatment and advice without parental consent or knowledge. Treatment and any advice sought from the doctor is confidential and can be told to no one without your written consent. So if you want birth control you can ask your doctor for it. Also mom may no longer be in an examining room with you without your consent. This is Federal Law that the doctor must enforce and abide by
Hey I'm 13,
And I really like Bella thorns way of dressing but it's really expensive I don't no what to do? And we're can I find Bella's jewerie for cheaper and her shoes. I'm really stuck here please help!!
I have a friend a business women who always dresses very well. In fact she dresses well above her financial means. I once asked her how she was able to do so? Her reply was simple that she finds and purchase almost all of her clothing at second hand and thrift stores. She says that many people who by designer clothes take good care of them wear them once or twice and then give them away.
A dress with an original price of 2 to 3 hundred dollars generally costs her less than $50 dollars or less. She takes the dress home has it properly fitted to her and people think she is financially able above her means which in her career field is a plus.
By the way the secret to success is that stores like thrift and second hand stores are not just for the poor. The up and coming and financially frugal shop there as well. Shop often to find what you are looking for as they get new items daily.
You may be able to find the clothing you are looking for at a thrift or second hand store and no one need know where you purchase you outfit.
I need a fast/painless way to commit suicide. I've already made up my mind so please don't tell me not to do it.
If you are seeking a painless way to die there are non. As a first responder I have seen it all. Dieing is painful whether you mean to die or you die from natural caused or by accident. :life isn't Hollywood and you swallow a bottle of pills and go to sleep. Actually that is one of the most painful ways to die and those that try this end up calling for help.
So if you are looking for a way to die painlessly there is non. Instead dial 911 or go to the nearest hospital ER and tell them you have suicidal ideology and ask for help to keep living.
I live in a three bedroom house with four people. I know its not that bad and I know there are people who deal with worse, but you don't know my family. I have ABSOLUTELY NO PRIVACY! I'm fourteen and I share a tiny room with my nine year old sister. Just our beds take up about 85% of the room so yeah its mega small. I really want my own room 'cause I've shared all my life. My mom and my brother (who isn't home like 90% of the time) have the other two rooms. Now, I feel that with my being fourteen and the changer going on in and around me, I should have my own room. I have no real privacy. If I'm in the bathroom and my mom wants something out of there she will PICK THE LOCK! I mean really, she says that the only place we deserve privacy is the bathroom, so yeah way to contradict yourself mom. She also blames any argument I have with my sister on me. So yeah if she's taking my stuff its somehow my fault. She also laughs when my brother calls me fat and then says I should get a corset as if that'll make me feel
Yes you deserve your privacy unfortunately the space is not there for you to have it. You didn't say how old your brother is but by the fact he is away from home as much as you say he is says he is much older. When he is home it would not be right for him to share a room with your younger sister and it may be unlawful in some states to do so.
Does your home have a basement? If it does it might be possible for you to uses some dividers or curtains to separate a space for yourself. If you live in a cool or clod climate space heaters may be enough to keep the area you section of warm enough for you to use that area as your room. Talk to mom and see what she says.