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My boyfriend cant finger me

Question Posted Sunday April 15 2012, 3:35 pm

Ok so im 15 and my boyfriend tried to finger me last night and it was just embarrassing because he couldn't even get his finger in really! I have orgasmed before by just rubbing myself and have tried fingering myself but i cant even do it. I am mentally ready to have a sexual relationship and im not nervous but i just dont know what to do! He has eaten me out becasue he tried to get it more wet down there but that still didnt help. I know there is a layering you have to break but people have told me that some sports will make you break it with out sexual activity such as cyclying or horse riding. Well iv been riding horses since i was 4 and i guess that didnt work ahah; so please just some advice would help. And please dont give any advice on my emotional ready-ness because there is really no point.
Sorry for the grammar issues in this i typed fast aha

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Teen2TeenHelp answered Saturday April 21 2012, 2:17 am:
It takes time and a little pain. He has to use a little force if he's meant to get anywhere and it needs to be done often. Not everyday, but once the pain goes away. If he has big fingers, it might take some time, tell him to be gentle, use lubricant and do expect pain, but eventually as your vagina muscles get used to being strectched out a little, the pain will go away.

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adviceman49 answered Monday April 16 2012, 11:02 am:
It is not so much emotional readiness as your subconscious readiness. Meaning as much as you may have thought you were ready and willing. Down deep you were either not ready, not comfortable or just plain scared.

I would go with items 2 and 3. Sex in general for a guy is not as emotional as it is for a girl. A girl needs to feel safe and secure, comfortable both in her surroundings and that she will not be disturbed or discovered. The discovered part will stick with you well into your child rearing days. One thing moms always worry about is having a child walk in on her or needing her while she is engaged in sex.

As for scared that goes along with the fear of being discovered or being interrupted. There is also the fear of pain. While I can't assure you of anything about being interrupted or discovered I can tell you that being fingered should not cause you any pain. A finger is not as big as a boys erect penis and will not stretch you like his penis would.

What I suggest is the next time you think your boyfriend will want to finger you make sure you do so in a place you are comfortable. Not in the back seat of his car or out in the woods or barn/garage. Your room or his where you can lock the door even if his or your parents aren't home.

Now that I've told you the possible way let me say that at 15 you are playing with fire. This too may be a reason you clamp up and won't allow his finger in you. While your bodies are capable of this kind of sex play and more. Your really to young to be emotionally involved to this degree and I think subconsciously you know this, but want to satisfy your boyfriend to keep him.

If giving your boyfriend this kind of sex to keep him then he doesn't respect you properly. If you give into him now what will you do when he wants more. Your both to young to be having sex. Yes sex is a wonderful thing. A wonderful thing between two adults who understand fully the consequences of what could happen and are capable of dealing with them on their own.

We get hundreds of letters from girls your age each week scared sick they are pregnant. This is the consequence you could be looking at down the road if you give in to your boyfriend today for tomorrow he will want more. Just give this some more thought.

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masterclinic answered Monday April 16 2012, 1:58 am:
The only thing you can try is using lube. If you use tampons instead of pads your hymen should already be broken; if not then it could still be intact and the problem. It is rare but some hymens are so tough that they have to be surgically cut in to, if that's the case then looks like you won't be doing much (don't try anything stupid like using a knife, you'll only hurt yourself).
I suggest you or your boyfriend goes out and gets lube and you try it alone first. Use as much as you need, gl

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