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BF wants a virgin
I am in a happy long term relationship with my boyfriend - 3 years
However last year I slept with another boy, which meant id given this boy my virginity not my boyfriend. I have repented and so on and he has forgiven me.
But my boyfriend wants a virgin to sleep with, as i made him wait so long and then just gave it away meaninglessly. I just dont know what to do. I dont know how to make this happen
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Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Ok so you cheated right I believe that your boyfriend is not ok with this even tho he may have said he forgives you deep down being cheated on is a hard thing to get over .and if you two had planed on sharing your first time together then that's going to make things worse , because the fact that you couldn't wait and that you gave yourself to someone ells would have crushed him and shows no trust or love on your behalf .
If you really cared about him you would have never slept with some random guy . He is looking for a virgin because he wants to share something special with this person , he wanted to share it with you until you fucked that up . If it was me I would have left you because it shows how much you care. But I can tell you this your relationship is finished u think after he spends his first time with this girl that he will just drop her and come back to you ?? He is looking for your replacement you are done finished he dont trust you or love you the way he did when he first met you . And that's your fault you made the bad decision . And saying that you are ok with him wanting to have sex for the first time with another Virgin show that you don't really love him . Geese if you cared it would kill you to even have thought about being with another guy let alone being ok with him being with another girl . I am sorry to say but you guys are finished .
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Nice advice gramps.It comes from strength & forgiveness. But her boyfriend hasnt forgoten the fact that she cheated on him. Do you know why he wants to sleep with a virgin? Because he was hoping to be her first which she threw away and in his face. The problem with virgins who save their virginity is that they place a lot of value on their virginity and are probably going to remember who they lose their virginity for the remainder of their life. So they dont want waste their virginity as this girl did on a regular bang. He wants to connect to another girl for the first time and wants to see the same feelings that he gets on her face too. If would be best if this girl left him. He's already looking for another girl to build memories with. The lest respectful thing you can do is let him
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I am probably old enough to be your grandfather so maybe the wisdom of age may help.
I think your boyfriend is thinking of leveling the playing field by giving his virginity to someone else rather than you. The simple reason as I said is to level the playing field and put you both at the same point in your relationship from a sexual standpoint.
From a logic standpoint I can see his point. Common sense says there is all ready one wedge between you. If he does this and you go along with this for the purpose of making things right between you; you will only be driving that wedge deeper.
I don't know what your first experience was like. My wife tells me hers was not the greatest, she was not a virgin when I met her. It was painful, she bled was 20 years old and living alone. The guy who took her virginity was an idiot. He was not tender at all.
I did not miss the fact that my wife was not a virgin the first time we made love. When we did we already knew, it was love at first sight for us, that we loved each other and when we made love it was a beautiful thing for both of us.
A man loosing his virginity is simply the act of intercourse itself. There is no pain involved and he will probably climax quickly. The fact that you are not a virgin will make his first sexual experience more enjoyable as you will enjoy it more knowing there will be no pain, or little pain depending on his size, and no tearing or bleeding.
Do not compound the mistake you made by letting him make a mistake you will both regret.
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I don't want to offend you, but this is totally ludicrous!
Okay, I understand that you slept with someone else and so you are not a virgin. But you're okay with the fact that your boyfriend wants to sleep with a virgin, instead of you? I don't know why he wants a virgin, but that's really irrelevant.
You then say 'he loves (you) eternally'. Are you serious? How can he love you, if not only can he not accept that you're not a virgin, but he wants you to be okay with the fact that he wants to have sex with a virgin instead of you?
And it sounds like he hasn't forgiven you. If he can't accept it, then he clearly hasn't.
What is worst, is that you're okay about this. Your question is how you go about arranging this. Not "This is wrong, what do I do?".
Two wrongs do not make a right. You have to fundamentally ask yourself this: "Do I stay with this boy who cannot accept me as I am, and instead wants to sleep with someone else because I'm not a virgin?" - which, is CLEARLY a sign that he doesn't love you- or would you rather dump him, and find someone that 1. Doesn't want to cheat on you and wants you to be okay about it and 2. Is fine about who and what you are.
I think the choice is obvious, and I urge you to make the right choice. However much you think you may love this boy, he is clearly an amoral person that doesn't seem to love you the same way you love him.
Harsh advice, but it sounds like you need to get back down the reality.
Hope I helped.
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You can't be something you aren't. You had sex with the wrong person and learned from it. Now, you have waited to be with the right person and situation for sex. In a sense you are born-again and experiencing sex for the first time in years and with the right person.
This shouldn't be stressing you. Why is a virgin such a big deal with him? All you can do is tell him the truth and if he's going to be weird about it than he's not the right sex partner or boyfriend for you.
I guess some guys have this thing about tightness but there's exercises and others wouldn't know the difference if their partner didn't tell them. If he loves you eternally than your having had sex shouldn't matter. In a way he's lucky as the sex he's hoping for may be disaster with someone non-experienced.
I think for him it's just this fantasy idea and vibe of what it would be like that doesn't mirror reality. Then again maybe he wants to be your first. The thing is though that not a lot of people your age have waited for the right time. Just talk to him as I'm sure it will be okay. Might burst his bubble but he'll see he's not lacking anything in the end. If he doesn't question your reason for being there.
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