|
| |
|
I've been working with this guy for like 4 months now and we seem to get along quite well. I don't know if he has a girlfriend or not, but the signals he gives me, tells me he does not. The thing is that I am 18 and hes 16. A lot of people have a probelm with the age thing, but i don't, i think hes mature for his age. (thats y i can't ask my friends this) Anyway i don't have his email or anything but we're good friends at work. Would it be weird if i asked him to my prom? and if not how would you ask him? thanks in advance (link)
|
If you like him, ask him. Its nobody's business what his age is.
If you want to bring him to prom ask him if he is involved with anyone. If he says no then ask if he would take you to your prom. Ask him at work.
Good luck, hope he says yes. :)
|
I have a boyfriend who I have been with for about a month and a half. He's only a year younger than me but since my birthday is at the start of the month (JAN 06) and his is at the end (NOV 24)it sounds like a bigger age gap (I'm 17 and he's still 15) I really love him and I know he cares about me. But theres this voice in the back of my head telling me its all wrong. Please help me I don't know what to do.
PS I rate really high (link)
|
Don't worry about it. You aren't doing anything wrong. Nobody really needs to know how old he is anyway. He is a year younger most of the time, and even if he weren't...who really cares about such things.
Do what makes you happy. :)
|
Background for reference. Disregard it if you only want to read the problem:
I met Ashley at Sam Goody. She kind of followed me around and talked to me a lot. Gave me hugs and flirted at random times. At first it was a little odd, she just seemed like a kid with a crush and I wasn't interested in the least. She quits work and I don't see her for the better part of that year. I don't miss her.
I see her working at a grocery store later on. She doesn't seem quite as interested in me, but she's still incredibly flirtacious. I eventually develop a big crush on her. I ask her out on a date, but what was implied was that her parents wouldn't approve. She was turning 18 later on this year before I turned 21, but the 20-17 year old age gap was too much for them. Shortly after, I pretty much lose the romantic feelings I have for her. They're replaced with pity, from the terrible things I find out happened to her (from someone who knows us both). Before five days ago, we never really talk much outside of her workplace.
What's key to know for the problem:
Sunday (five days ago). She gives me her new number and invites me to her new place that night. While there, I listen to her complain about her now ex boyfriend and how she isn't over him. He used her for sex after he dumped her, then left without saying a word.
Tuesday. I text her asking if she feels like doing anything that day. She said, "I made a huge mistake. Shannin called and asked to see me and I said yes." I told her she can use plans with me as an excuse to not see him if she feels she shouldn't, and that I didn't think she shouldn't see someone who recently used her. She says, "Thanks. I know I'm really stupid but I just still love him so much"
She calls me later that night, crying from what happened earlier. I asked her if she needed me to come over and she said she wouldn't be much of a host since she would just be crying, but she could use the company.
It takes me a little while to get there, and when I do no one answers the door. I walk in and find her in a room with depressing music playing. She has a blade in her right hand and her left arm is covered in blood. She cries to me telling me how stupid she is and how it seems she can't learn from her mistakes. I try to comfort her I tell her how common such a thing is and turn off her music. I have her choose from a few different movies I brought over and we watch one that is now one of her favorites. She says that she feels a little better now and asks me to hang out with her the next day.
Wednesday. We start hanging out in the late morning. We watch a few things and talk. I learn some things about her past, distant and recent, that don't reflect well on her, for instance, she's capable of stealing. We go out to eat and to a few different places, an overall good time despite my being quiet from drowsiness. I leave to give my mother a ride home from work, and she asks me if I'm coming back afterwards. She said she would like it if I did.
After I come back, we go to her father's place to watch a movie (her father's working on her house) and so she can check stuff online. I get a quick glance at what she types in an e-mail. It read, "...heart broken again...feel like maybe I should just kill myself..." An exaggeration of her recent mood, but it still alarms me. I ended up staying with her until she was almost falling asleep after midnight again.
My problem: I've been noticing a list of things I don't like about Ashley, but the biggest thing in that list is the fact that I now have feelings for her again (spending over 12 hours with someone and you'll know how you feel about them after you leave). It might be stronger feelings than before, since I can't get her out of my head. I can't date her because no matter what she feels for me, which probably isn't more than friendship, she still is so caught up with and damaged from her ex that she's thinking about suicide. No good can come from having feelings for someone like this.
I desperately want to help her. I haven't been getting more than a couple of hours of sleep a night worrying about her. In the past, I've tried to help friends (all female) by trying to convince them they shouldn't make mistakes like this, which lead to arguments. They end with them being pissed at me, then making the mistake anyway. I've learned it's better to just give your advice/opinion once and hope they'll listen to it. If they make the mistake, they make the mistake.
The thing is, I don't think she can afford to make this mistake again. I can't tell her not to, it's her life, her business. I already told her how I felt about everything. My best friend thinks I should stay away from her, and she might be right, but I can't turn my back on her when just spending time with her seems to cheer her up a little, especially since now I care for her more than I would a friend. I considered trying to convince her to see someone about this, but I know from experience that, despite the good intentions, it will driver her away. I can't afford that since it seems like I'm one of the very few things kind of helping her. I know for a fact that she would go back to this guy, and I don't want that to happen. It could literally kill her. So what can I do? How can I help her past this? (link)
|
I will tell you up front that I agree with your best friend! I also understand your wanting to help a friend out.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't save a person from themselves.
Ashley sounds as if she may be depressed. Most people who talk of suicide or who cut themselves are. That's where you need to start. Get rid of those suicidal tendencies.
If there is a free clinic or health department in your area, you might want to make a call and see if they have any help available in your area for those who can't afford it. She may be able to get a Dr to see her and get her on some medication for depression at least.
If she has been abused by her father in the past she may need some therapy at some point. That may be something to research for future reference too. Some cities do have free or greatly reduced cost help available.
I think you should try and get her back into seeing and going out with friends as soon as you can.
It will be very easy for her to become dependent on you. If you are sure there is no future romance there...you don't want that. In the long run it would only make the problem worse. That is the main reason I have to agree with your best friends advice to stay away.
It sounds to me like you are already doing about all you can. Be there as a friend. Listen to her and encourage her to talk about it. Bolster her self esteem, she may not think herself capable of having a relationship with anyone but the ex.
Most break ups just take time to get over. She needs to stay clear away from her ex until the feelings she has for him aren't as strong.
Right now he will take advantage of her feelings to use her when it suits him. He knows very well how to get to her emotionally. She needs to realize, if she doesn't already, that this is what he is doing.
I'm sure she thinks that by giving in to him she can get him back...that isn't always how it works the majority of the time.
If in the end she goes back to her ex, know you have done all you can and let it go. It will be hard to do but some people just refuse to learn from past mistakes. All the talking and helping in the world can't save them. :)
|
are your wisdom teeth suposed to hurt when they come in? If they do does it eventually stop once they completely come in? See mine are coming in. i Have 2 already and the other two on my right side is just killing me. i see them coming through and there in the same spot as the other ones on the other side. but they just hurt. i dunno why. And to top it off im so affraid of the dentist i just dont tell anyone they hurt. I CANT go there. biggest fear of mine.
any ideas? 5's for good advice (link)
|
I don't even want to remember when mine came in!
Like you, I am petrified of going to the dentist. I don't know why, the toothache hurts worse than they do by a bunch. But I am.
Wisdom teeth hurt a lot because they are coming in back there where your jaw is and it gets a little crowded.
The pain might go away. We are talking years from now though so I have to recommend the dentist. Actually, you will need to see an oral surgeon.
Like russianspy mentioned, they do put you to sleep. I've not known anyone who had much pain after the surgery. I'm sure they give you something to take.
So, tell your mom and go get them removed. Don't sit around in pain. If I remember correctly, and I know I do, not only does your jaw and teeth hurt, but it can make it feel like you have an earache too.
|
|
My name is Alexis and I need guy advice... If I'm fifteen and I like a guy that's fourteen... is he too young for me??? I've tried not to like him but iit's impossible! He is so sweet and cute! HELLLLLLP!!!! (link)
|
Heck no! Hes not to young at all.
If you like him, don't worry about it.
My husband is a year younger than me. :)
|
|
I am so stressed out that i am having trouble sleeping and concentrating. Any advice on ways to releve stress? (link)
|
Here is a web site with some stress relief tips on it for teens. I don't know if you are a teen or not, but they work for all ages anyway!
Hope you find something useful. :)
http://www.thehealthcenter.info/teen-stress/dealing-with-stress.htm
|
Hey yall i wrote a poem and i dont know if its good or not.. in need your advice......
Blood!
Blood is a 5 letter word
Blood starts with b
The b stands for broken
The broken girl watched the blood roll down her wrist
Blood!
L is the second deadly letter in blood
L stands for life
The girl watched her life slip away
Blood!
O is the third unlucky letter in blood
O stands for open
The girl opened her mouth to utter her last word that she will ever say
Blood!
O is forth tragic letter in blood
O stands for off
The girl turned the lights off so she could die in the dark.
Blood!
D is the final and most scary letter of all the letters in blood.
D stands for die
The girl dies in her room, alone and scared
Blood!
(link)
|
We really can't give advice on If your poem is good or not. It would cause everyone to start sending in poetry and that really isn't the kind of advice we give here.
There is a site though that is free to join. If you write a lot and want critiqe on it, here is the site. :)
http://allpoetry.com/
|
|
what is autostic.. im not sure if that is the correct spelling but i was wondering what it was. thank you. (link)
|
I think you may mean autistic.
Here is a web site that will tell you all about it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism
|
|
my sister seems to hate me; she tells her friends that she does, and she hold no respect for me or anyone. she is difficult to live with, and I was wondering if anyone had any ideas as to how to make our relatinship better. (link)
|
Here are some web sites that may just help you out. :)
http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/sibling_rivalry.html
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&np=282&id=1791
|
Sorry if this was the wrong category to choose...
Recently my boyfriend's aunt died from cancer. They knew she was sick for a while but they thought she was doing pretty good until a couple days ago. He was very close to his aunt and he is devastated. Every night i talk on the phone to him and he is just so depressed and he misses her so much. I have never lost someone really except all my grandparents but i was too young to really understand. When he talks to me i have no idea what to say. I know i can't make him feel better and its still going to hurt but i have no idea what to say. any advice appreciated (link)
|
Here is a web site that you can read and get some information from. It explains how to help someone with their grief, and kind of tells you what they are going through.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/helping_grieving.htm
|
ok i think getting high would be worse than getting drunk, but my friend doesnt belive me. do any of you know which one is worse for you?
thanks (link)
|
Both are illegal if you are underage
Both can cause impaired judgement
Both can make you look like an idiot if used INXS
Lets call it a draw. Neither one is real great. :)
|
|
how do you take a tampon out? (link)
| |
It has a string on it. You just pull the string and out it comes. :)
|
ok so i have this friend named wayne. we hang out with this whole group afterschool...((4 girls, 2 guys including Wayne)). I ALWAYS feel like excluded from most of the group...like for example: when wayne's grandma was in the hospital he told everyone except me.(i found out from the rest of the group). ex#2: his friend moving= he told everyone except me......ex#3: he liked a certain girl..told everyone in that group except me......honestly is there something wrong with me? why am i constantly excluded with wayne?
thx...((i RATE HIGH)) (link)
|
You need to ask Wayne why he is excluding you. Hes the only one who knows.
Could be he thinks you get the story from another member of the group and isn't doing it on purpose. :)
|
|
well first off let me say that im 16f going on 17 and he just turned 18. Ok well lets see, theres this guy that i met through a friend. Well my best friend actually and she's his bestfriend to. She kinda put us on the phone together and he kinda told her that he wanted to talk to me or whateva. So ok we started talking and i grew to really like him and i guess he really likes me too. Last weekend we went out to the movies and my friend invited the guy im supposed to be talking to and her boyfriend which also happens to be the guy im talking to's best friend. Everything was going fine or whatever and me and this guy got to be real cool and like i said i really started to like him like seriously. Then the next day i was talking to my best friend and she told me that he told her that he didn't really think that we would hit it off as well as we did and he is starting to really like me but there is this other girl that is trying to talk to him at his school(we don't go to the same one)and i guess he kinda likes her too cause he told my friend that he doesn't know what he's going to do. You know whether he is going to talk to me or her. Now like i said i really do like him and all but he lives kinda far and i don't know how often i would be able to see him, and being that the other girl goes to his school he would be able to see her more. But he does have a car and if he really wanted to he could just come and see me when ever he wanted. I don't know. Well i guess my overall question is do i still try to talk to him and eventually make him choose or do just be like i don't want to cause any drama or stress in making him choose and tell him to talk to the other girl. (link)
|
I guess you wait and see if he decides he wants to date you.
Don't push him into someone else's arms...he hasn't started dating her yet. If he does, then you move on. Until then alls fair, don't give up yet. :)
|
|
ok so a week ago my boyfreind dumped me and this other liked me and i started likeing him this week and this other girl is rlly jealous of me so she says ya were goin to go out and im like ok and it turns out that he liked her a littel. so then i said to him like i know u like this girl and u guyz r goin to go out and hes like wat no were not and im like but thats wat she told me. and then this girl spazzes at me for tellin him and im like i didnt know she never told me not to tell him. and then i told this guy to ask her out cause she is like madly in love with him so no there goin out and they dont act like bf and gf and he likes me better cause she is a total bitch. what should i do?? (link)
|
I think if you liked this guy you should have told the other girl to go fly a kite ( to put it nicely)!
He evidently didn't even know she existed before you told him. If he likes you then you go tell him to forget that other girl and date you instead. :)
|
|
Lately i have been crying all the time. I have been feeling overwhealmed and sensitive to everything. i used to be so happy and laughing all the time and now i havn't laughed for ages and cry over everything. I read about similar symptoms in a amgazine and it said that the symptoms mean i could be depressed. Is that true and if it is what should i do? I feel so down all the time and upset. Please help (link)
|
Almost all teens go through periodic bouts of depression.
If you think about it, teens go through a lot of changes really quickly. You get your period if you are a girl, lots of hormonal changes for both girls and boys. You start dating, worrying about your looks more, start driving, thinking of college....boy, the list goes on & on!
So, for the most part, it is usually nothing out of the ordinary really. If, however it lasts for months without going away, or if you should have thoughts of suicide then you really need to seek some medical attention.
Most of the time it will come and go. :)
|
|
Hi, for my schools talent show I am reading a poem. I want to read a poem by someone else and of course I will give them their credit. But I want to know other people's opinions of good poems that they know of. I am open to suggestions. If you could supply me with the author and the name of the poem that would be great. But you don't have to worry about giving me the exact poem unless you want to(that would definitely be great but its not a must.) Thanks in advance :) (link)
|
My all time favorite is 'The Road not Taken' by Robert Frost.
You can find it here if you'd like to read it. :)
http://www.bartleby.com/119/1.html
|
|
Everynight I sit in bed for about 2 hours before I fall asleep. Its not a big problem staying awake but the stress I go through trying to fall asleep is terrible. It's been going on everynight for about three weeks. I told my mom there was something wrong with me and that I needed sleep pills but she blew it off. So I began taking tylenol PM (without her knowing) and it put me to sleep within 30 mintues. But this weekend I ended up exposing alot of my secrets to her (that I have been drinking, etc) and told her about the pills. She believes me now and is going to take me to the doctor but she take forever to set up an appointment and I hate bringing it up. So Im going to probably end up taking them again. My question is, are all of these problems I've been having signs that im depressed? To me, it seems like what every kid my age does and that I shouldnt be worried. (link)
|
People who are depressed usually sleep to much.
Insomnia isn't unusual. There are night s when I just can't get my brain to shut down! Its not real uncommon.
You will go to sleep when you get tired enough. I don't worry about it much myself. Taking something to sleep is usually pretty habit forming, pretty soon you don't get a real nights sleep unless you pop a pill.
You are right in consulting a doctor. Its the best thing to do. Remind mom about it without getting on her to bad about it. :)
|
OKay so me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 8 months , and we are definantly in love. Lately we have been talkin about sex, a little more and more each time we talk to each other. Like last night we were texting each other and he said and i quote "Blaire, I love you, & you no that, i would do anything in the world for you. And , well now, i think im ready, for well you know, to have sex. I think we should try it. But only if your ready"
and the thing is , were young. He is 16, im almost 14.(one more week) and well, i would really love to loose my virginity to him, but he has already had sex(he used to be in the major party scene. He quit for me.) So should i have sex with him?
-Confsed (link)
|
Don't do anything unless you are sure about it. Your virginity is one of those things you just can't get back once its gone. It sounds like he would wait for you.
Here is a website you may want to read before deciding. :)
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=243&np=291&id=2170
|
Ok I have a few questions.
First of all my boyfriend and I are running away next week for 4 days. We are both 15. The reason we are doing this is because his family won't let us see eachother or talk to eachother, and I have a lot of issues, and so he is not able to be there for me a lot. So I gave him my cell phone and he has just been calling my house. But I cannot continue going on like this. My depression is taking over my life, and him not being able to be there for me is making it ten times worse. Like suicide is my option right now, but I am not going to because he said he wil kill himself too. I am seeing a psychologist and I am on two medications, and I have been to a psychiatric hospital, and nothing is helping me except when I get to see my boyfriend. So basically my questions are:
1.Is is illegal to run away when you are a minor?
2.If there are any parents reading this then can you tell me what you would feel if your child did this, I mean my parents are not the greatest parents and wouldn't notice for like 2 days, but would eventually, but I am going to call them and tell them that I am ok, but can i have a parents thoughts.?
3.Any ideas on where we could go, like an indoor place?
Well thanks, you guys probably think I am crazy, and I am so if you could just answer this then that would be cool, you can call me crazy too if you want. (link)
|
First of all you need to tell your doctor you are still depressed. You need to tell him/ her you are having suicidal thoughts. You may need your meds changed. Some of them can make matters worse...so call your doctor TODAY and let them know what is going on with you.
Yes, it is illegal to run away. All it will accomplish is make his family and yours even more determined to keep you apart. It is a very immature thing to do and trust me, it will accomplish nothing at all except to make matters even worse than they are now.
You probably need to talk to your doctor about your dependence on your boyfriend. You need to take responsibilities for your own life. The boyfriend should be a bonus...but it isn't fair to him to feel responsible for your behavior, even if he wants to.
You need help and you know it. You've been there before. Talk to your doctor, that's his or her job. If what they are doing isn't working then they need to change some things. If they don't, then maybe you need to change doctors.
Good luck with things, and DO NOT RUN AWAY! Instead work on getting better. That would go a lot further in getting his parents approval. :)
|
|
