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I'm a girl and I'm an intense gymnast. My whole body is basically muscle like I have the six pack and the wide shoulders and the v-back and stuff and all other girls my age (14) have curves. I was just wondering are guys attracted to muscle on girls at all? (link)
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Some are, sure. There are guys who are attracted to ALL SORTS of body types. But I suspect that most guys, particularly young ones, might be a little intimidated by a girl who has more muscles than they do. :D
Gymnastics normally don't build huge, weightlifter-type muscles, but rather have really toned ones. Women who professionally compete in weightlifting and muscle pageants usually have put on so much muscle that the testosterone has made major modifications in their bodies; they have virtually no breasts, nor the normal female curves.
Since you're 14, there are too many variables here. It may not yet be quite time for you to have *developed* that many curves. I assume you're not all hulked-out with enormous muscles and popping veins, right?
Some muscle developement and good toning should only add to your attractiveness. As with almost anything, though, if taken to extremes it could backfire.
If you're at all concerned, see your doctor.
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Okay, I'm sorry, but this is going to be REALLY long.
I was at summer camp last week, and i went with a bunch of my friends. We were having oodles of fun, and there was this guy there that i have liked for EVER! He lives near me and i see him alot, but he has never acted interested in me before. Now, at camp on...Tuesday, during the night game he sat next to me (on a loveseat) and started to poke my knee. So i poked him back. then he took his elbow and dug it into my hip so i jabbed him really hard in his side....it was kinda funny. Then he took his hand and kept putting it on my knee. I wasn't comfortable with that so i kept pushing it off but he wouldn't stop. Then on Wednesday he asked me to play tetherball with him, i so won. then we played pingpong, and i definitly lost. Then on Thursday it got REALLY weird. First I was in crafts and he was in pingpong. Those two games are in the same room. He lost in pingpong so he was sitting down. He called me over and told me too sit on his lap. I did not!!! Then I sat next to him in the chair next to him. He asked for my hand and i said "why" he said he wanted to see somthing. So i held out my hand. Then he just started holding onto my hand and stuff. I was really uncomfortable with this. After that my team and his team were assigned to go to the pool togeather. So while we were at the pool i did NOT want to go swimming. He kept splashing me and trying to push me in, and i was in my cloths! Then i got sick of it so i just jumped into the pool, cloths and all, and dunked him. Okay. He kept holding my hand all day and stuff and on friday, I was really uncomfortable with it. Then on friday everyone in camp catchs him making out with this girl!!!! Now i dont know what to think!!! I dont want to yell at him or anything, cause he is going through alot of problems and he has always been able to talk to me about them and no-one else. So i dont want him to think he cant. what should i do!!!!???? (link)
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Up until you said he was caught making out with another girl, I was thinking that he was in love with you, or had a crush on you. But in your last five paragraphs I revised that opinion.
It sounds as if he's young, and he has a lot of problems. At a guess, he may be getting into flirting and making out as a way of avoiding his own internal turmoil - basically, he's distracting himself with girls.
Sex is by far the noisest thing in a teenagers' brain. It's ideal for drowing out other problems. The problem is, it doesn't last.
It does sound as if he likes you. But to be honest, I think you're smart to hold back - it doesn't sound as if he's ready for a relationship right now.
It's good that you want to be there as a friend for him, though. You're right, yelling won't help. Could you try talking to him, really normally? Tell him what you're thinking and feeling now, and tell him if he wants to talk, you're there for him.
He may not choose to take you up on it. He sounds pretty confused right now. But even if he doesn't talk to you, it will probably help him at least a *little* to know that he has a friend like you, who's willing to listen.
Good luck!
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I have windows XP, how can i hide my files from other users on the computer..like me and my sister have different accounts..how can i hide my files from her and my parents? thanks (link)
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If your account is password-protected, files which are saved in your "My Documents" area can't be easily accessed by another user, unless they know how to use My Computer, Windows Explorer, or some other way to access the file system directly. That's not terribly hard, but it's surprising how many people don't know how to do it.
However, an administrator will be able to access your files. Your parents are probably the administrators of your family PC.
You can "hide" files and folders by right-clicking on them, choosing "Properties", and checking the "Hidden" box. But anyone can set their account to let them see hidden files, so again, that's not very secure.
Some individual programs, such as Microsoft Word, give you the ability to password-protect your individual files. That would make it almost impossible for anyone else to read those files; they'd need to install a keystroke capture program to retrieve your password.
Read the Help for a specific program to find out if password protection is available, and how to use it.
If you want to get more serious, there are some utilities available online that will let you hide and password-protect files. Many of them are freeware. These programs offer a fairly high degree of security. Of course, if your administrator blocks your ability to install programs you may not be able to use them...and a keystroke-logging program could be used to secretly record your password and get access to those files. But that would require a fairly high degree of computer literacy, and most parents just aren't that good with computers.
I'm the exception. :D
Here's a link to some useful utilities:
http://www.freedownloadscenter.com/Best/xp-hide-files.html
Good luck!
Edited later: Holy cow! formetoknowandyounotto is BRILLIANT - why didn't I think of that? Assuming your family PC has a free USB port, you can use a flash drive for anything really personal. You can pick up a keychain drive with half a gig or more of storage for practically nothing these days. Just make sure to remove any files from the local hard drive. And be sure to empty the Recycle Bin after you've deleted, just in case.
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i was wondering how u get a advice webpage like ask angela or dear abby (link)
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The same way you get to Carnegie Hall: practice, practice, practice. :D
I'd suggest starting out with a column here, since it gives you ready access to a large pool of questions. If you're good enough, you could eventually move off to a stand-alone webpage; you'd need to have built up your own fan base, of course.
As for starting your own webpage; I could write a BOOK about that. But for now, I'll just say that if you're serious about it, I strongly recommend getting your own domain and having your site hosted by a professional company, not one of those free-site services. You should be able to get decent service for $100-$200 a year.
But ultimately, the most important thing is to get really good at giving advice. One key factor is to write clearly, quickly, and well. Good grammar, punctuation, and spelling help a lot.
Good luck!
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Dear "James",
I am writing you this letter because I know if I try to say this out loud, it will just come out a jumbled mess. I don’t know what is going on between us right now, I am so confused and it’s not fair for either of us. You know that I love you and that I would do anything to be with you. I have been practically begging you to come back to me. I am not trying to make this into some poetic tragedy; I just want to know how you feel. Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing when you kiss me; you feel nothing when we make love? I don’t understand how you can be so casual about this whole thing. I’m not mad at you and I am not upset, I am just simply asking you to tell me how you feel. Is there a chance for us at all, because my heart is on the verge of breaking. I know you are probably going away for a while but I am willing to be there when you come home. I want to be with you James, and if you don’t feel the same, then I would expect you have the decency to tell me so; after all we have been through together I deserve at least that.
(link)
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First off, I have to tell you that I'm AWFULLY tired, so my brain probably isn't working as well as usual (it's my own fault; I was up 'til about 1 AM giving someone some advice on the Advicenators chat board).
My first reaction on reading it was that you seem to have become a little more angry at him, or realized that you were angrier than you first thought. It's a *little* more hostile-sounding than I would have expected. When I read it, I'm not sure if you still really want him; I see that you say you do, of course, but some of what you say really does sound as if your opinion of him has changed for the worse. For example, "have the decency to tell me so" implies that he's not being decent now. That may be the case, but I just want to make sure that you're clear on what you want.
I don't think it's a bad thing to stand up for yourself more, the way you seem to be doing. Not at all. It wouldn't be healthy for you to crawl to him. Because no one respects someone who begs, and you couldn't live your life that way.
Clearly, in this letter, you're not begging. And I think that's good. But to be honest, I think this puts a pretty clear test on your relationship with him: if he really loves you, he'll come back. If not, I think this will go a long way towards really ending things between the two of you.
That may be what you need; uncertainty is more difficult to live with than knowing that a relationship is really over. That hurts, more than almost anything else in the world, but it's a single massive wound and then it's *done*. The healing process, slow and painful though it is, can start.
When things are left hanging, though, you can't heal. Because even if the wound isn't as severe, the uncertainty keeps picking at it and picking at it. And leaving it all up to him puts you in a subservient position. That's not healthy; a long-term relationship really needs to be a partnership of equals to work out, I believe.
But if the two of you can find a way to be together, and if you both really love each other that much...well, that's something that you can't close the door on without regrets. Regrets that would last a lifetime.
It's almost never easy. With relationship questions, there's always a hard choice to make. Even happy endings only come with pain.
I want to finish this quickly, because if I don't, I'll have to leave it hanging for several more hours - and I don't want to do that. So let me finish, for now, with this:
Think hard, and search your feelings. Decide how much you want him, how much you're willing to sacrifice for the chance of a life with him. Depending on what you decide, you may want to add a bit to your letter.
In a way, most young men (and he IS still young) are much simpler creatures than women of the same age. So you may want to break this up into paragraphs, and include a single line telling him, with no caveats, just how much you love him. That will make his choice clear to him, I think.
It's such a hard thing, to put your heart on the line! And I'm so sorry you have to face this!
Good luck.
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I'm going to high school as a freshman.. and I was just wondering, what will the first day be like? Please help, I'm so nervous! (link)
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It'll be scary. You'll be nervous, after all. Things will smell odd. But you won't get much homework, if any, and your classes won't involve a lot of work the first day.
Apart from that, all I can do is suggest that you try hard to relax. This is just ONE DAY out of a lifetime of days, and you'll be surprised how soon you forget all about it. Or if you don't, you'll laugh at the thought that you were actually worried.
There will be MUCH bigger things to get nervous about, later on. But there will be some great things, too.
The secret is to have more great things than scary things in your life. And try not to worry unnecessarily.
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i think i just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. me and my best guy friend have always had a friends-with-benifits relationship. he was fingering me today and ended up sticking his penis in me. we were going for a little, but we had to stop because he had to leave. he didn't get to cum and we did full out have sex. but knowing that his penis was in me... is that enough to count for losing my virginity? (link)
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According to the most common definition of "virgin", you're not one any more. Actually, under almost ANY definition of "virgin", you're not one.
But that doesn't change who you are. It doesn't make you a different person, unless you WANT to be. It doesn't mean you're a slut, or anything like that, unless you decide that's what it means.
Remember, "virgin" is just a word. It's not YOU. Don't let worrying about it throw a shadow over your life. It's not worth it. Put it behind you and just be yourself. That's all that matters.
I will say, though, that if your friend is putting his penis inside you, you REALLY need to be practicing safe sex. Even if he didn't ejaculate, sperm were almost certainly coming out of him - and they COULD make you pregnant. So you need to use condoms (and read the instructions to make sure that you're using them *correctly*). It would also be a good idea to talk to your OB/GYN about your birth control options.
I suspect that you're under 18, so I'll also take the liberty of saying that in my experience, it's a really bad idea for underage people - boys OR girls - to have sex. It's much smarter to wait until you know you're really ready, as I think you just found out. Otherwise you can end up with a lot of regrets.
There are lots of other reasons to wait until you're really ready. But rather than repeat them all here, I'll let you read them on my column, if you want.
You're still the same person you were before you had sex. Don't beat yourself up over it.
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May this gift bless you the greatest as it passes through your hands.
What could this mean? To you could it mean that some day we will die and life will be over?
Could it mean as a baby and it goes from holding your child to holding their hand to putting
your arm around their shoulder to walking them and passing them from your hand to another mans?
Does it mean that may this statment bless you as it makes you open up and relize what great things
are welcome to this life?
I made this saying up. Tell me, what do you think it means? Then i will tell you waht i wanted it to mean.
--Meg--
Please... This will be inpirering and open others hearts so please dont deleate... (link)
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Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what you meant by this. I get the feeling that the basic message is inspirational - I didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out - but beyond that, I'm not sure.
On a slightly related note, if you want a lot of people to read this message it would be a good idea to work a bit on the grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Those elements aren't *terrible* or anything, but there are errors that are a bit distracting. Cleaning them up would help to get your message across and make it clearer.
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I am freakishly shy, and its a real real problem. I thought I was over it, but I went up to my new school, [it was just built so everyones new but I know like everyone there, kinda not really though] and I just couldnt act ike myself, I was so quiet, I barely said anything. I wanted to cry all night, even though I was with my friends! I guess its just akward because I switched schools 2 years ago and didnt get to see them that much so its really weird being around them yet not weird at the smae time. Im so worried about myself and what Im going to do once school comes. Please Help me (link)
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I'm not a psychiatric professional, nor a doctor. But it sounds as if you may have Social Anxiety Disorder. If so, there are treatments that can help you.
It would be a good idea to talk to your doctor about a possible referral to a specialist. They would be able to evaluate your condition.
Here's some useful information about Social Anxiety Disorder:
http://www.socialphobia.org/
On the other hand, this might just be the normal pangs of adolescence in extreme form. In which case there are still ways to cope and feel better. You might want to talk to your parents (if you feel comfortable with that), a school counsellor, a teacher that you trust, or some other responsible adult. They should be able to get you some help.
Good luck!
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Theres this boy I've known like 6 years.. me and him just started messin around and he knows I care deeply for him ... aka like him. I love him.. but he doesnt know it, i guess. But we just had sex, and I sleep over his house sometimes and we cuddle kiss... and he kisses my forehead and tells me 'Goodnight beautiful' .. but when everyone else is around hes rude to me and he ignores me. He doesnt call me anymore, he doesnt even IM me much. But his friends all tell me he likes me, and right now I'm trying to ask him how he feels - and he wont friggen answer me! I'm 17 years old, I know I can find someone older than me that wont play games (hes only 15).. but I cant help the way I feel about him. (link)
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You probably already know this, but boys mature more slowly than girls. That's not an absolutely ironclad rule - there are certainly some mature boys and some immature girls - but generally, girls mature earlier, at least mentally.
So you're basically working against biology. Because not only is he a boy, and physically two years younger than you are, but *mentally* he's almost certainly younger still, compared to you.
I don't know what he was arrested for, but that does seem to indicate that he's still got a lot of growing up to do. You still have some growing to do yourself, but you're MUCH closer to adulthood than he is.
This is a tough situation. Particularly because it sounds as if you love him.
But I'm still going to have to say that first off, you really need to wait until he's older before you have sex with him again. He's almost certainly not ready, and I think that's contributing to the immaturity he's been showing you.
Not to mention that legally, you could be charged with statutory rape. Which is REALLY something you want to avoid; you could end up being publicly listed as a sexual predator for *life*. Women aren't charged as often as men, but it DOES happen. You don't want that.
It's going to be hard for you, but I think you need to change from being his girlfriend, to being his *friend* - for now. You can talk to him about this, if you think that wouldn't hurt your relationship; of course most boys aren't as good at talking about relationships and feelings as girls are, so that might be a frustrating experience for you. But it would probably be a good idea, just so he knows where you stand with him.
He may challenge you on that. He may demand sex, or no relationship at all. I understand how incredibly hard that will be for you, because he means so much to you. But for his own sake, you need to be the more mature one, and take control of the relationship. That's the only way I see any chance for you two to end up together in the end.
If that's what you want. I think that it is, but I could be wrong. That's probably something you should think about: do you want to be with him for the long term? Can you wait until he's old enough for a relationship to work? Can HE wait that long? Will he?
Does he want to?
The answers to those questions should help you to figure out where you want to go from here. Good luck.
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thank you so much for talking to me. as i was reading your response it sort of made me sick to my stomach, not in a bad way but because its the truth, blunt, but honest. i am going to go to new hampshire and talk to him there that way if things turn bitter or whatever i can leave and i dont have to stick around. your right 2 years is an awfuly long time but sometimes you just know when you have met the right person. im getting nervous just sitting here and im at work haha im not even with him. (link)
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I'm glad I was able to help. I'm a big fan of true love, so I hope it works out. Best of luck!
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haha good to know. you really think i should get over that guy i wrote about.
i went over his house the night before he went on a trip to south dakota for his cousins grad and we kissed (i sound like a little school girl i know) this was the first time we had done anything since the break up. then he went on his trip (which i found out later was with his gf as well as his family) after that hanging out with him was a little awkward, he felt bad about cheating on his gf. and we would hang out and he would bring me home at like 10...then a few weeks later i went to get him for the gym and thats the first time he started having sex with me. he is in annual training for 2 weeks in new hampshire and he wants me to come and visit him. he isnt the cheating type i have known him since hs and he isnt a player or anything like that. i know he still cares about me an i am willing to wait for him even if its for 2 years. should i talk to him about this? he has a lot on his mind i am sure... (link)
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Of course I only have what you've written to go on. I don't know him, or you, not *really*. In relationship questions like this, there's a pretty big "guessing" factor.
I do the best I can.
So...
My gut feeling is that cheating is bad, not just in itself, but bad for a relationship. I understand overwhelming passion (I think), and I know how hard it is to resist temptation. We're all human, after all, and we all have a breaking point.
But if you really want to spend the rest of your life with him, and you really feel that you could wait two years for him, then I think you owe it to him and to yourself to *talk* to him about it. After all, it's his life too! And in the meantime, I hope you can find a way not to cheat with him any more until he leaves "Kerry". Ultimately cheating can only hurt you, and him.
It diminishes you both.
If he's willing to be with you, to make that commitment, and to leave "Kerry", then I wish you both the best of luck.
If, however, you tell him how you feel and he STILL insists that he wants you to get over him, then I think you need to find a way. I don't envy you that prospect, although I've been there myself; it's agonizing.
I'm also a little confused; if he told you that he couldn't be with you because he "isn't sure when or if he is going to come back", then is he staying with "Kerry"? If so, it sounds as if he made a choice between the two of you. But if I were you I'd probably ask him, straight out, just to be sure.
If he breaks up with Kerry you could try to tread water for two years (or more), until he comes home, and see if he's open to the possibility of rekindling something. You'd need to stay in touch with him during that time, of course. But two years is an AWFULLY long time for a 19-year-old girl to spend waiting. I hope you don't have to try. It would be much better to know that he was coming home to you, or even to know that it was really over, and time to move on.
I know he said that you deserve a guy who will be there for you. If he really means that, and he loves you, he's being *awfully* noble. You may have a hard time persuading him that it's your choice to make, and that he's the one you want to spend your life with.
I guess the real question is, does he love you? And do you love him? If you both do, you owe it to yourselves to try to find a way to be together. If that's not possible, don't despair; hearts heal, with time. I know.
But in any case, you need to talk to him.
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how old are you? just wondering...not hitting on you or anything i have enough man problems (link)
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I'm very, very old. :D
Actually I'm 41. And I'm unhittable-on, because I'm married. :D
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my sis broke up with her bf last night and she is 21 and im 13 and i dont know what to tell her to make her feel better i really want to help her cuz im sure she would help me if something like that happened to me please help me (link)
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There isn't much that you can say right now, unfortunately. It takes time for the pain to go away. Just be there for her.
A cute little present or a card to remind her that you're there and you love her would probably make her feel a bit better. But you have to accept that she's hurting right now, and it will take some time for her to heal.
She WILL heal, though.
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im 19 yrs old, college sophomore, i met my ex "james" when i was a senior in high school. strangley enough my friend "pat" put my pic up on hot or not and "james" saw it and clicked meet me. come to find out he went to my high school and graduated a few years ahead of me. his brother was also one of my high school friends.
he was in the army when i met him, (this was in december of my high school year) he had been over seas for 2 years. we talked online and on the phone to eachother every chance we got and he came down on leave for his brothes grad party which i was invited to because his brother and i were friends.
we started hanging out and eventually dating. i broke up with him before i left for college because i didnt want to worry about having a bf and his school and mine were 2 hours apart. he told me he loved me but i broke up with him reguardless
he now has a gf "kerry". he started dating her 2 months after we broke up. apparently he used to date her before he left for iraq. they have been dating ever since.
well the reason i am writing is because after him and i broke it off we still continuted to talk and even hang out on occasion. he has been cheating on "kerry" with me for the past month and 1/2.
"james" tells me that he is probably going back overseas to fight in october. he told me that i should get over him because he isnt sure when or if he is going to come back. and i deserve a guy who is going to be there for me(he is sched for 2 years over there. i dont know what i should do. i dont know if he is still with "kerry" because he loves her or if its not the right time to break up with her or if he is going to break it off when he goes, if he loves me still i just dont know what to think. i need someone to look at the situation from another stand point and give me some advice, i am at a total loss. (link)
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I hate to tell you this, but he's right. You SHOULD get over him. Because, among other things, he's cheating on his girlfriend.
It doesn't matter *why* he's still with "Kerry". The point is that he IS with her, and he's sleeping with you. I think you know that that's wrong.
There's no nice way to say it: if he'd cheat on one girlfriend, he'd cheat on another. You love him (I think), but you're honestly better off without him.
You're young. Your whole life is ahead of you. There are all sorts of possibilities, and you'll meet all sorts of men. I think you'll end up much happier if you say goodbye to "James" in your heart, and move on.
But beware of a rebound. For the next several months or more, you'll be at risk. It would be smart to try to take a break from dating for a while, just to give your heart a chance to heal.
Good luck!
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Okay, I'm ususally the one giving the advice, not asking for it, but here goes...
School's going to be starting up again soon which means that the Homecoming activities will be coming up before too long. I was thinking about getting my nails done before the dance. I've never had my nails done before, so this is all new to me. What I want are those arcrylic nails that they don't paint on. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about or not... but they look like real nails, but they're fake. And I don't want the people at the nail salon to paint them either, because the dress I'm going to wear is black and white. I just need to know what this is called so I don't waste my money on something that isn't the right thing. (link)
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Draak answered you quite well, but there's one thing that I would add: acrylic overlays involve a certain commitment. If you ever have them removed (or rather, if you ever choose to stop having new ones put on), the underlying natural nail is usually VERY rough and damaged-looking. It takes some time for the nail to return to normal.
A French manicure WOULD look good with a black & white dress, by the way. And you could have that done to your regular nails, instead of an overlay.
If you're wondering how I know about this stuff, my wife went to school to learn manicuring a couple of years ago, and got her certificate; I helped her study for the tests. :D
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I'm 17, and I have my first job interview ever at ShopKo on Friday. The only problem is that I don't know what appropriate attire for an interview is. What am I supposed to wear? (link)
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You can never go wrong by dressing conservatively for an interview, unless it's at a fast-food place or a farm. :D
Generally that means to dress as if you were going to church, or to a wedding. For men, that usually means a dress shirt, conservative tie, slacks, and dress shoes; a matching blazer or a suit is even better.
For women, dark skirts longer than knee-length and a relatively simple and conservative blouse. Alternatively dark pants are also usually fine.
It's a good idea to take a look at the people who work there, and dress at LEAST as conservatively as they do.
Good luck!
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I am a former self-injurer, and I finally stopped cutting at the end of 8th grade (I'm going into 9th). I've been happy since the end of 8th grade and haven't had a reason to cut, or I'v refrained myself from cutting. But that's how I deal with stress. And I'm afraid I'll relapse this year from stress. I've been to therapy, and I write a lot. Is there any other way I could possibly deal with stress that isn't destructive?
thanks in advance! (link)
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Exercise is a pretty constructive way to deal with stress. It generally calms you down, and improves your overall feeling of well-being. It can also increase the level of endorphins in your brain, helping you to feel happier.
Long-distance running can also be painful, so oddly enough that might be a good substitute for cutting - it would hurt, but not damage you. Of course, you'd need to be careful not to overdo it.
That said, stay on top of the issue with your therapist. If the urge to cut becomes overpowering, you may need to check into the possibility of medication, at least temporarily.
Good luck!
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Hello. My name is Kacie. My boyfriend and I have been together for about seven years now, so we are sexually active at this point. However, my boyfriend is in an advertising company and has to travel most of the time. So when he's gone, we have phone sex together. But everytime we have sex hard and fast, I end up bleeding because I keep hitting a bump which I think is the cervix but I am really unsure. What do you think might be causing my bleeding? PS: I do not use toys or anything when having phone sex with him. Thank you so much. - Kacie (link)
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If you're being too rough with yourself, you might be cutting or tearing yourself accidentally, probably with your fingernails. But from what you've said, it sounds as if you're bleeding more than you'd expect from a relatively small cut or tear.
And I think you'd know if you were doing that sort of damage to yourself. It would hurt a lot.
Just guessing, but perhaps the bump is a cyst? The smart thing to do would be to check with your OB/GYN, just to be safe. Bleeding of that sort is definitely something to pay attention to; for one thing, you could get an infection.
Good luck!
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do guys think its unnatrictive when your hip bones like stick out and they're a little wider than the rest of your body? xoxo (link)
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It's hard to say. If a girl's hip bones are sticking out because she was really thin, then I'd say that most guys would not find that attractive. But it wouldn't be the hip bones that they'd find unattractive; it would be the extreme thinness.
Personally, I'd have to wonder if a girl who was that thin had anorexia or bulimia.
On the other hand, if you're asking whether or not guys find wide *hips* attractive, most of them do. Most girls DO have hips which are at least a little wider than the rest of their body, and for a very good reason. Human beings are unusual in that our babies have extremely large heads at birth, which makes childbirth more difficult for us than for most other species. Wide hips are a positive survival factor: they make it easier for a woman to give birth, and recover quickly from the experience.
So wide hips send a subliminal message to the male mind. They tell men that here is a potentially successful mother for their children.
All attractiveness is ultimately based on reproduction. Anything that appeals to any of us, sexually, involves that factor in our brains. A clear complexion indicates good health, as does a good-looking face. Broad shoulders in a male indicate strength and the ability to provide food for a mate and for children. We don't consciously THINK about attractiveness that way, but deep in our brains, that's the calculation we all make.
The funny thing is that in many ways that doesn't really make sense any more. A narrow-shouldered computer programmer can usually provide more money - and therefore food - than a broad-shouldered ditch-digger. But our brains evolved in very different circumstances than we live in today. In ancient times, it took male strength to kill animals for food - and so, women are still attracted to strength today.
On the other hand, even with modern medicine a broad-hipped woman has a BIG advantage when it comes to childbirth.
I've gone on quite a bit, so let me sum up: broad hips in a woman are very attractive to most men. As long as they're not *boney* hips - excessive thinness indicates that a woman is less likely to be a successful mother.
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