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I am no longer giving advice on Advicenators, and have requested that my account be deleted.

I am now giving advice on Askville as ->Peter

If you're looking for good advice here, I suggest you ask YoungGrandma. She's the best.

I don't expect to be checking in on this site again, so if you want to ask me something, see you on Askville!

Good luck!
Website: The Diary of An Invisble Man
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The other nite me and my boyfriend got "comfortable." He ate me out, but soon after i started bleeding. it wasnt my period because i already had it. whats wrong?
*lyss* (link)
There are several possibilities. One is that he used enough force to actually damage you and make you bleed. But that would almost certainly involve a lot of pain, and you wouldn't be confused about what had happened.

Another possibility is that your period was being irregular. Occasionally all women have variations. It's nothing to worry about.

Some women bleed off-cycle when they are about to undergo menopause. But since you didn't say how old you are, that may or may not be likely; I don't know.

It is possible (but unlikely) that some more serious problem may be involved. If you notice off-cycle bleeding again, or any unusual symptom, call your OB/GYN.

Here's a link with some useful information about off-cycle bleeding:

Good luck!

wen ur having sex what does it mean wen a girl climaxes? (link)
It means she had an orgasm.

my boyfriend and i have had sex now. im really worried about if i get pregnant. should i tell my parents about it?
oh im 14 and hes 15 (link)
If you're determined to continue having sex (and personally, I think you're both much too young - but that's just my opinion), you need to have SAFE sex - both to avoid getting pregnant, and to avoid the chance of catching something.

That means using condoms EVERY time. It means both of you reading the instructions on using the condoms. It wouldn't be a bad idea to go on the Pill, if your doctor or OB/GYN will prescribe it for you. Condoms are not 100% effective, so using more than one method of birth control is a good idea. But only condoms (or, I have to admit, abstinance) protect against disease as well as pregnancy.

If you're already pregnant, you should tell your parents - unless you really think that they might physically hurt you. Yes, they'll be upset and angry, but you're their daughter. They'll almost certainly get over it and help you.

And you'll need help, no matter what you decide to do about the pregnancy.

If you ARE being abused by your parents (I hope not), or if they do go overboard at the news, talk to a counsellor at school, a teacher that you trust, or some other trustworthy adult. But remember, your parents ARE very likely to be extremely upset at first. That's totally natural.

Why should you tell your parents? Because they're going to notice as the pregnancy progresses. It's better to tell them now rather than have them notice that your belly has gotten really big. There's just no way to hide that, you see.

Good luck!

can somebody give me some good country songs please? :) (link)
Believe it or not, but Led Zeppelin did a great country song called "Hot Dog". Very few people know that.

Other than that, for more old-fashioned "real" country songs, try Joan Baez's first two albums (Joan Baez 1 and 2) or the soundtrack for "O Brother, Where Art Thou?". Those occupy the dividing line between folk and country music.

Modern stuff? I'm partial to the Dixie Chicks, myself.

what happens when you get raped?? im totally scared of it......HELP PLEASE!!! (link)
Rape is sex against your will.

It doesn't have to be intercourse; a wide variety of sexual acts can constitute rape in most states.

That said, there are different kinds of rape. There's direct assault, by a stranger or someone known to you; that can happen on the street, in your house, or anywhere else.

There's "date rape", in which you go on a date or out with a friend. Perhaps you kiss or have some degree of sexual relations - but they take it further than you're willing to go, and when you say "no", they don't stop.

Victims of date rape sometimes blame themselves, thinking that they led the other person on. This is NOT TRUE. Once you've said "no", that's it.

In the case of assault, if you think you might face that situation - if you live or work in a high-crime area, for example - it's a very good idea to prepare. Always be aware of where you are, particularly at night, and try not to be alone. Carry a loud whistle or an air-horn. Some people use pepper spray or mace, although that may not always be a good idea and I believe it's illegal in some states.

If you're being attacked, GET LOUD. Don't let them take you off to a private location, DON'T cooperate. Scream as loudly as you can and fight as if your life depended on it. Bite, particularly the soft parts of the face like the nose and cheeks if you can reach them. Claw at their eyes, HARD. You can try to kick a male in the groin, but don't count on that working - it doesn't always.

Once you break away, run to the most public spot you can find and ask for help, loudly.

Self-defense classes are offered in many towns, cities, and schools. These aren't martial arts or anything like that; just practical information on how to save your life when you're in serious trouble.

If you've been raped in any way, date rape or assault, call the police immediately. Don't wash yourself or clean up in any way - you could destroy evidence that could help the police catch your attacker. You'll probably be taken to a hospital for the evidence to be collected. You may also be given an AIDS test, and later a pregnancy test.

There are many national, regional, and local rape hotlines and websites across America. The number one site according to Google is:

And their hotline (a toll-free number, I believe you should be able to call it from your cell or from any pay phone even if you don't have any change) is 1-800-656-4673 (24 hrs).

If you are raped, please remember that it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Get all the support that you can, because there are few experiences in life that are more devastating. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help.

You should also be aware (if you're a man) that it's possible for men to be raped as well, either by other men or by women. Rape hotlines will support men who have been raped, as well as women.

I sincerely hope that you will never actually need any of this information, and I wish you the best of luck.

PS - I just thought of another intepretation of your question - if I'm wrong about this, sorry. But if the FEAR of rape is constantly on your mind, and you haven't been raped yourself nor know anyone who has been raped (or have a good reason to expect to be raped), that's a problem. If you find yourself obsessed with the thought of rape (or with ANY frightening thought), you need to talk to someone - your parents, a counsellor if you're at school, a mental health specialist or perhaps a member of the clergy (a priest, minister, or rabbi).

Obsessive fears can destroy your life, but you don't have to live with them - effective help is available. Again, I'm not suggesting that that's your problem - it just seemed like a possibility.

Best of luck.

whats the name of this song? the lyrics are like:
" say little bow wow you just don't know the way you move so fast across the floor i mean you run through my mind like all the time to the point that i just wanna take ya home" (link)
It's "Take Ya Home" by Lil' Bow Wow.

Here's a tip: whenever you're looking for lyrics, go to Google and do a search for "lyrics" (without the quotes, and a phrase from the song in question IN quotes. For this one, for example, I did this:

lyrics "you move so fast across the floor"

If several different songs come up in the top 10, look at the full lyrics to each song and see which one sounds right. I do this a lot, and it has never failed me.

Just make sure that you use a pretty unique phrase. For example, if you search for:

lyrics "I love you"

I can pretty much guarantee that a million songs will come up for that one, and it'll be hard to tell which is the right one.

Also, be VERY careful when you go onto lyric sites. A lot of them have trojans, virii, and other system exploits - they can be very nasty, and take over your system. So make sure to have all of your protective software up-to-date (Ad-Aware, virus protection, SpywareBlaster, etc.). It also helps to click on the Google cached version, I think; Google might deactivate some of the worst stuff in their cached copies.

ok for some reason on my xanga site everytime i write the word a** it changes into a link (a pron link) i dont know why it does it i delete the site and it goes back.. and then in another entry i wrote the word movie and it changed into a theater link and i dont know why this is happening.. does anyone know if it is from my computer or is because of my layout or what can i do to stop it.. someone please help me!! thanks (link)
Your system is infected with a virus, trojan, or exploit of some kind.

That's not good.

This may or may not work, but I'd suggest the following: download and install these programs (they're all free).

Ad-aware from Lavasoft -

Spybot-Search & Destroy -

SpywareBlaster -

And if you don't have an antivirus program that is being updated DAILY, you might want to uninstall your old antivirus program and install AntiVir -

Once you've installed those programs, update each one of them - they make it pretty easy and obvious. You need to get them fully up to date. Then run a full system scan with each progam (except SpywareBlaster, which doesn't have a scan option - it just blocks spyware).

This MIGHT save your system. I've used that combination of programs successfully on several systems (not mine, they belonged to some friends), and they've pretty much brought those computers back from the dead.

If that doesn't work, the problem is probably sunk pretty deeply into your registry - and that's pretty serious. I once successfully cleaned my registry, but it's very tricky. I would recommend getting someone who really knows what they're doing to do it for you. But try the other programs first.

To avoid this problem in the future make sure to keep all of your protective software updated at least weekly, if not more often. And scan when you update.

What does Breaking wind mean? (link)
Farting. Really.

i know the lyrics to this song but i dont know who sings it:
"if looks could kill, you'd be a murderer, or maybe just a whore" Thank you! (link)
As others have said, it's "If Looks Could Kill" by A Heartwell Ending.

Here's a tip: whenever you're looking for lyrics, go to Google and do a search for "lyrics" (without the quotes, and a phrase from the song in question IN quotes. For this one, for example, I did this:

lyrics "if looks could kill you'd be a murderer"

If several different songs come up in the top 10, look at the full lyrics to each song and see which one sounds right. I do this a lot, and it has never failed me.

Just make sure that you use a pretty unique phrase. For example, if you search for "lyrics 'I love you'", I can pretty much guarantee that a million songs will come up, and it'll be hard to tell which is the right one.

Also, be careful when you go onto lyric sites. A lot of them have trojans, virii, and other system exploits - they can be very nasty, and take over your system. So make sure to have all of your protective software up-to-date (Ad-Aware, virus protection, SpywareBlaster, etc.). It also helps to click on the Google cache version, I think; Google might deactivate some of the worst stuff in their cached copies.

Can girls get orgasm's without having sex? (link)
Yes. Anyone can, male or female. Physical contact isn't even absolutely necessary (although it helps a lot, of course). Human beings are highly sexual and sexualized creatures, and modern society encourages that tendency.

Another example: wet dreams. They can produce an orgasm for a male OR female without any real sex.

i'd like to know if it is wrong to donate your eggs/semen to couples who cannot copulate in exchange for money. There are constanly ads for this sort of thing and i'm broke. my boyfriend thinks it's horrible that i would want to give my not-yet-concieved child away, but if it provides me enough cash to stay in school, pay rent, and get to work on public transit I can't see how it is so wrong if i screen the people to give it to. i don't want to do the wrong thing to make money, i just naturally see it as helping people, nt selling a baby. please help? (link)
Is it spiritually wrong to sell your eggs for money? That depends on your religion. I believe that the Catholic Church frowns on it (although I'm not a Catholic). Personally, I don't think it's anything like selling your baby; it's an EGG, and you lose one each month anyway.

However, you should be aware that donating an egg is much more complicated than donating sperm. You'll be treated with drugs to essentially put your ovaries into hyperdrive, including daily shots; the physical effects are supposed to be pretty uncomfortable. And retrieving the eggs takes minor surgery.

You can get a lot more information about the procedure here:

That said...potentially, it's a lot of money. It's up to you to decide if the discomfort is worth the price. And you may find that it's hard to know that there is a child somewhere in the world, bearing half of your genes, that you will never know. I think that I would, but then, I'm a parent. :D

In any case, no one has any right to condemn your choice.

I posted this to a single person, before I knew it could be answered by anybody with an account;
I am a 17 year old male, and came across your site by accident, or possibly fate. I have a big social problem. I've always been described as "the different one". I was always the one who did his work in class, or didn't do things exactly the same way as everybody else. I was just different like that since primary school. (I'll just say at this point that I'm not gay. A lot of people ask that when you say you're "different") The problem is, I've never been able to shake certain difficulties I've had as a result of being unusual. So now I find myself at 17; I've never been to a party where I've drunk. I've never been kissed. I've never had a girlfriend. Nobody knows who I am, nobody seems to care. I find it difficult to make friends, because I feel socially awkward, because everybody expects me to know things that I don't, because I never developed those social skills. Most of the friends I do have are the poisonous kind. They will be friendly some days, but only because it benefits them. At other times they seem totally unfriendly. I feel like I'm tied into keeping them, because it's not as easy as just pretending they don't exist, and if I alienated them, then I wouldn't have anybody left.
I don't want to become "normal" (if that exists as something to become), I would just like to know how I can fit better into the social structure of school life, and develop general social skills. I feel like I got expelled from the school of social interaction as a kid, and now I've found out there's no adult ed. class.
SilentOne (link)
I can sympathize, because I went through the exact same thing. It's hard to be a thinker; that's not a quality that is valued in America these days.

It's possible, but not very likely, that you have a touch of Asperger's Syndrome. More likely you're just smart, and shy, and a bit geeky.

Are you going to go to college? Because that's often a time where smart people can really flower. Intelligence is MUCH more valued on campus, and you're more likely to find people like yourself.

As for developing general social skills...personally, I found a hobby that I really enjoyed (games), and did it a LOT with other people in college. That really improved my comfort level with people. It helps when you have a specific topic to talk about, know what I mean?

Apart from that, cultivate your own sense of self-worth. If friends treat you badly, they're not friends. It's painful to cut off even a tainted social connection, but that sort of thing can really poison your mind. If you hang out with people who don't respect you, how can you respect yourself?

But I won't pretend it isn't really hard. I guess the best thing is that you're 17, so you're probably past the very worst of it. Even if you don't go to college, high school is an artificial and bizarre environment which seems practically designed to torture sensitive, shy, intelligent people.

In other words, hang on. It'll get better.

Oh, and whatever you do, try not to build up women into some impossible romantic ideal. I've known too many guys who didn't kiss a girl or go on a date throughout their 20s or longer, and it really screwed up their lives. I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 33, and I can tell you this: if I'd known how easy it was, and how easy sex was, I'd have started a LOT earlier.

It's really no big thing, you see? But with your background, and in our culture, you're at risk of seeing it as some sort of Holy Grail that will change you forever. You'll probably have more confidence after you lose your virginity, but it DOESN'T change who you are. You'll still be you.

Just happier, probably. :D

Why should people become Christains? Like what iss the purpose in it? (link)
You should become a Christian if you believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ and the truth of his teachings.

If you don't believe in those things, then don't become a Christian. It's really very simple.

There are, of course, other reasons. People join churches to get in with an in-crowd, to make friends, to get laid, or because everybody else is doing it.

I think many, maybe MOST Christians are Christians because that's how their parents raised them and they never question it - the same way that most Buddhists were raised by Buddhist parents, most Hindus were raised by Hindu parents, etc.. Straying from one's family and cultural religion is awfully rare, although I suspect that it's more common in the pluralistic and culturally-diverse United States than in most other countries. And even so, most Americans stay with some form of Christianity.

Please note, however, that since I am not a Christian I can't answer your question in terms of the personal religious feelings and faith that a Christian would.

So basically, search your heart. If it tells you that Christianity is for you, go for it. If you feel confusion, but some sort of spiritual need, perhaps you should investigate many different religions and philosophies. And if you feel fine, don't worry about it. :D

I am looking for a VW Jetta, Toyota Corolla, Toyota Celica, Honda Civic, Ford Mustang but I really would like to know what one would be safest.. (link)
Of the cars you've listed, the VW is probably the safest. Stay away from the Ford - it may look cool, but American cars are still a lot poorer quality than most imports (and many "imports" now are partly or totally made in the USA, so that's a distinction that's losing its meaning).

I've owned a Civic and a Corolla in my time, and they're both great cars.

Of course, there's more to safety than just crash survival. For example, the Civic I had had the best visibility and handling of any car I've ever owned - ideal for avoiding accidents.

And no matter what car you end up with, you can do a LOT to improve your safety. For example, get into the habit of never even STARTING the car until your seatbelt is on. Make sure that you're wearing your seatbelt properly, and that it's properly adjusted. Read the car manual - it might be boring, but you'll get some really useful information from it, too. It sounds corny, but it could save your life.

I won't go into the obvious stuff - keeping your windows clean, always driving sober, that sort of thing - but I will suggest this: DON'T park your car on the street if you can ever help it. I've had two cars badly sideswiped and one straight-on rammed while they were parked in front of my house. In each case the person who hit my car took off without leaving a note.

Oh, and one other thing: if you ever get into an accident (and the odds are that sometime in you life you will) WAIT at the scene until the police arrive and take your information.

whats a gyno?? (link)
As others have already said, "gyno" can be short for "gynecologist".

But there's another meaning of the word which is a bit more common in my experience. A "gyno" is also short for a gynecological examination. It's pronounced "guy-neh-co-logical", by the way.

Girls are normally scheduled for their first gyno appointment when they have their first period.

Gynecologists are also called "OB/GYNs", which stands for Obstetrician/Gynecologist. Most (but not all) gynecologists are also obstetricians, and vice-versa.

Obstetricians specialize in treating pregnancy, childbirth, and the recuperative period following delivery.

can i just ask you people a question....
how old were you when you had your first boyfriend or girlfriend and your first kiss?????

My answer to both is 33. I married her when I was 36. :D

I don't recommend waiting as long as I did. Although I do think that most people start too young now. I'm hoping my son won't start dating until he's 16, and that he'll wait until, say, at least 19 before having sex...but he probably won't ask my permission. Still, that's the advice I'll give him.

i want to make a shirt for my best friend, because her birthday is comin up... shes very religious and i want to put some sort of quote on does anybody kno any short bible verses, or religious quotes?? thanks for your help!! (link)
"For you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" is an old favorite of mine; you can take that with a grain of salt if you wish, since I'm an atheist.

If you want something REALLY short, "John 3:16" has historically been THE most popular message used by Christians for purposes of evangelizing. It refers to this verse (and I'm quoting from memory, so I may be slightly off):

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, so that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Many consider that the core message of Christianity.

ok i want to now how do i get rid of love handles with out going to a gym or anything. Im 15/f and im super skinny everywhere else but my love handles and the make me look fat! like everytime i wear jeans i have stuff hanging over just because of them. dont say exercise because i do i just need to no a certain exercise that will help me (link)
If you're skinny everywhere else, then your body is pretty much determined to hold onto those love handles. That's not uncommon. In that case, I'm sorry to say that there are only two options: liposuction, which can be expensive, or some sort of shaping/controlling underclothing.

I wish I had a better answer for you, but the truth is that right now there simply aren't any other answers for your problem. There are lots of crooked companies that will try to sell you creams and machines and pills to lose the fat, but they don't work and you'll just be wasting your money. It would be smarter to save it towards liposuction, if it really bothers you that much.

But something to remember is that you probably notice the love handles far more than anyone else. We all tend to be our own greatest critics.

im sick with a plain cold...what are some good medicines that actually work that ARE NOT pills
ill rate

XoXoX (link)
If you first noticed the symptoms within the last 24 hours, ZiCam will help a lot - it usually cuts colds down to about 1/3 length and severity. I use it myself. There are several different kinds, but the one that I like best is the sealed Q-tips with gel on them - you swab them around inside your nostrils. It sounds gross, but it really works. Be careful not to get the spray, because some people have had serious side-effects.

Unfortunately ZiCam is also expensive; about $20 for enough to stop one cold.

Another gross but effective thing that works even if you've had the cold for more than 24 hours is plain saline. That's available in most drugstores; there's usually a generic version, too. Make sure that you get plain, unmedicated saline (which is basically salt water with stabilizers added). Medicated saline can really mess you up.

Then - and this isn't something everyone can do - stand in front of a sink, hold your breath, tilt your head back a little, and pour a little saline from the bottle into each nostril. Hold it there as long as you can, and then tilt forward and let it all run out into the sink.

That really clears out your sinuses, and the saline helps kill off the bacteria. Fair warning, though: if you get the saline into your UPPER sinuses, it can hurt a LOT. It won't damage you, but the pain is extreme and can last for hours. So try to keep the saline in your lower sinuses. You should be able to do the saline every few hours.

Two more things: suck on vitamin C drops as much as you can. And I haven't tried this myself, but I was recently told by a nurse to make tea out of hot water, a tablespoon or two of apple cider vinegar, and a teaspoon or two of locally-made honey; that's supposed to help a lot, particularly if you also have allergies.

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