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Member Since: March 15, 2006
Answers: 41
Last Update: March 24, 2014
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I want to get a puppy to surprise my boyfriend so what are the absolute cutest puppies? I know he doesn't want pets, but if I get the most adorable puppy EVER he won't be able to say no, right? (link)
Getting your boyfriend a puppy when he has said he doesn't want pets is a very bad idea. Puppies are a lot of work, and thrusting that responsibility upon your boyfriend could make him resent you.

If you want a puppy but cannot have one for some reason or you think he might really enjoy having a puppy, I would suggest going to a shelter or a pet store and spending some time there.

However, just buying a puppy and giving it to someone who doesn't want it is a bad idea and ultimately might hurt the adorable puppy if he is not loved as much as he should be.

I hope this helps,

Durga


Hi, can you tell me if there is a service out there that will help you find the perfect puppy match for your family? We want a dog, but we want to be sure it will be a good fit for our family. Thank you! (link)
Hi,

This is a link to a site on Dogtime that matches your wants in a puppy to different puppy breeds: http://dogtime.com/quiz/dog-breed-selector

This is a link to a quiz that will give you an idea of what it entails when you get a dog for the first time: http://dogtime.com/quiz/am-i-ready-for-a-dog

I recently got a puppy myself and can tell you it is a lot of work and quite a bit of destruction. However, I have to admit he is adorable and lovable.

I wish you all the best and hope you find an amazing fit!

Durga


Is it safe to send money home to india using xoom money service? (link)
Hi,

Reviews of Xoom, http://www.trustpilot.com/review/www.xoom.com,
have given it a 7.4 out of 10, stating it is a little cheaper than Western Union but having issues with the time it takes for the money to actually get to family overseas.

Your question specifically about safety, and it looks like there were a few instances when a person's account was hacked but the issues were resolved satisfactorily and money sent to the correct people. So yes, it is safe in my opinion.

I hope it helps,

Durga





My friend is turning 20 in December and is in college. He is a good boy, doesn't do drugs, drinks socially but not excessively, and really is just a great person. He still lives at home with his parents because he is in school, but they are trying to control everything in his life and saying he is a disappointment and a bad kid when really he is not. He tries to make them happy and to please them but nothing he does works and they won't listen to any form of logic. They now have neighbors reporting to them when he has people come over to the house. He wants to leave but he has no where to go and cannot afford to live on his own. He just want to be able to live his own life and have them be happy but they won't allow that. Does anyone have any advice for him, because all I've been able to do is just listen to him. (link)

You sound like a great friend. Look at financial aid options as well as student loans that will cover school and board. If he gets it, he can move out for a while, then find a job to try living on his own.

It might be really tough now; what worked for me was looking at my options out. Look at the rent for houses, job opportunities, part-time, at the campus. Ask him about what he thinks about doing, etc, and maybe he can go overseas for an internship or something. Going away for a while might change his take on things, and the attitude at home.
P.S It is really great you are trying to help him, but ultimately, the decision's up to him. You aren't solely responsible for him, or his happiness.
Take care
Good luck, Durga


So me and my ex, *ian went out about 2 years ago freshman year for a little over a year, I changed schools and stuff, but we started "talking" again two months ago when he broke up with his gf and I broke up with my bf (we didnt plan on it to be like that, but it jsut happened), and we chill and stuff, and he hasnt been single for an extended period of time since, god, probably before we started dating, so yeah, I understand how he wants things to go a little slow and stuff, but the first time we chilled we at least kissed and stuff, and now after 2 months of talking we were about to have sex, but he said no I guess either because there was a lot of people there or becuase of his past relationships, so we didnt. When I got home, I asked him if he still liked me and stuff, and he said yeah, dont even worry about it, and his best friend said yeah he just wants to soak up single life for a little bit and "when the time comes it comes"--whatever that means, but I'm not on his top people on myspace anymore, and I used to be, and I just don't know.. (which isnt a big deal i swear) so yeah, i'm just freaking out right, and he does like me right? Because yesterday he wouldn't have asked me to chill and stuff right?

ugh i dont know. (link)

You should read your letter again now that you might be feeling less 'involved'. You are re-aquainting yourselves with each other again. But it sounds like he likes you- he doesn't sound like the kind of guy who'd kiss you and all, just because. So, yeah, if he said he likes you, and it seems like he needs some space, be a buddy, and give him time.

You broke up, so you aren't on his top people. I bet you have already told yourself all this too. So listen to yourself. Don't let the what-if's and maybe's spoil a budding relationship.
Good luck!
Durga


my boyfriend and I have had sex twice. I was a virgin when we met but he wasn't, so he's more experienced than me. When we have sex he always slips out and then goes back in and then slips out again and sofourth. We've tried him on top, me on top, and doggy style but I don't know how to do any of those well. Is there any ways I can become better at sex? b/c to be honest i have no idea what i'm doing really.

thanks (link)

Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? It sounds like you are quite insecure about a real important issue. Just because your boyfriend is experienced somewhat does not mean that he is god at it, and you not having had any experience does not make you bad.

Being good at it is bringing pleasure to your partner. And that is different for everyone. So you know, it may be awkward first, but it can also be sexy once you get used to it: ask him if what you are doing feels good. Show him what feels good for you. Finding out what makes your guy hot is half the fun, and you can always try new ways.

Also, if you still feel bad, go online, get a book on sexual pleasures. Look at it yourself, maybe with him...it could lead you to more pleasures.

Good luck


i am 16 yrs male.ilive in india.according to the indian culture rajasthani people do not believe in love marriages.and they are totally aginst it.i had a girlfriend who is rajasthani.she loves me too.but her family came to know this secret relationship before the right time.for which she has to break up with me.but i know she still loves me.also she wanted me to hate her because she always used to think that her family won't let me marry her.and it will make me easy to forget her thinkin that she never loved me.the problem is that now she is saying that she does not loves me anymore. she thinks that her this attitude will make me hate her.this is for sure that i love her in a true sense and she loves me too in a more advanced and her love is more then i love her.one major problem is that i don't have any contact with her.she will not even call on my cellphone.please help me.i know i can be a succesful carreer holder in the future and also i can convince her family too. only if she gives this relationship a second chance and to make her believe that i am the only one for her. (link)

Have you told her parents of this? Or your parents?

I do not mean to sound unfeeling, but you are 16- you still have to go to college, find a job, then start a family.

And both your parents might feel that is true; what you feel is very important to the both of you, but if you love her it means wanting the best for her, and respecting her decision also.

Give the both of you spme time; channel all your energy right now into working well inyour studies, show your parents and hers your potential.

Good luck and hang on.


Hello Sir Or Madam,
I was in !2th standard which is a board exam in India. Few days back I got my Result and unfortunately/fortunately i got 53% (percent) with physics, chemistry and biology. Also with english and computer and the main three PCB subjects i got 62.6%(percent). So for medical with PCB i must have 90 above but i have only 53. Please any one who have good knowledge for career tell me what should I do? I don't wnat to do B.Sc. Or M.Sc.as in INDia It has no future financial scope. Also it can only make me a teacher or a professor which I dont want to be! please help me out! (link)

IF you don't have any other opportunities with your marks- which you should check out, maybe ask your teacher, or the government might have some career ahndbooks.

IF you don't have many options,

1. can you retake the exam? MAybe you can work part-time while you retake the exam

or
2. you can study for the teaching position and work, then study for more and change career later on.

Good luck
Durga


i'm 17/f and i've been raped 3 times and not by the same person- once when i was 8 then 12 and now, 17.
i have never had a boyfriend,not being big headed or anything but i'm not the kind of girl that is avoided by guys. i have some greate friendships with guys. but my big problem is now i'm afraid of getting close to guys. i'm scared of hugs and stuff but i get realy scared when they kiss me goodbuy (on the cheek). i'm also terrified of people coming up behind me and scaring me- i cry everytime it happens. but the worst thing is that the last rape tipped everything over- it happened three months ago and i've been to the doc and everything's fine. but i've started to get used to being raped. i feel like the only way i'm going to have a relationship is if someone forces me to. will i ever get over this fear? pluss ontop of that everyone at school found out that i had been raped- i told one person-the wrong person-now everyone is makeing fun of me because they think it's a lie. everytime someone talkes to me they always bring it up. and me being the person i am hides everything-i've become good at it- no one knows that it's taring me up inside. what do i do? will i ever get over my fear and get a boyfriend?will i ever be able to show my face again at school? (link)

First thing, I have to say that i think you are a really strong person to have gone through such a thing, and it seems mainly by yourself.

your schoolmates right now are idiots, simply and mildly put. they are hurting your feelings and what you could do is to tell them to shut up. Not yell at them, but calmly tell them they're being insensitive and that if they can't stop talking about it then they should not talk to you at all.

You don't have to convince them of anything. You know what happened and you can get support from many people. Have you thought of going to your school counselor or an outside counselor. Also check out help for rape victims. Many people have gone through what you have, and they will help you if you let them.

And maybe you want to join some self-defense classes. that will make you feel more confident in yourself and if makes you less of a target or victim.

You are going to get yourself a great guy, who is man enough to have a relationship withyou without forcing you. And you have to believe and expect that because if you don't, then you might just accept that you're not good enough for a mutual relationship. You most definitely are, and the more you try to get help from people who can help, the sooner you will realise this.
Bye now, Durga


Okay so i have been with my boyfriend for sometime now and its like lately i have been feeling hurt...its the things he says like ill ask something and hell call me dumb because sometimes i dont think before i ask things i guess...but we have been going through somethings for the past week..and i really dont know how to get out my feelings out to him in person its easy to text or write it down for me...but he wants and likes to talk face to face even if were laying down in the dark i still dont know how to get out my feelings to him..i really do love and care about him...hes my world my everything and i know i mean the same to him were very close eachothers best freinds we do everything together always with eachother..i just have this in the way of us getting even more closer...so please i need help on how i can be able to step up and talk to him face to face..il rate 5s!!PLEASE HELP ASAP!! (link)

the best thing to do when you're afraid of something is to face it, right?

Well, you could write roughtly what you're going to say and then practise it. Do it in front of the mirror than sitting down and pretending your boyfriend's there.

if it will make you feel better, make a date, tell your bf to come over and prepare for it. Maybe you guys can have dinner tog. or something alter, but just tell him to come over cos it's imprtant then tell him.

If you jjust couldn't do it. It's ok. you've got to do it the way you are comfrotable. Maybe write a letter telling him that you couldn't tell him to his face and what the problem is.

And just for you, I understand when you say that he's your world,but your world starts with you, and if you let him treat you like this, you'll lose yourself and that's when problems start. I'm not saying to break it off. i'm suggesting that you find things to do that make you happy. And volunteering with others will make you feel good about yourself, if you're into that kind of thing.

Good luck


I split up with my sons father about 4 yrs ago and have always let my son go and stay with him on a saturday night. He is not a good role model. He has verbally abused me badly in front of my son, tells my son that i dont love him any more and that its my fault we cant be a proper family. He is unclean and unkempt, doesnt have a job and not really any morals but my son says he loves him. He comes back unclean, tired, argumentative, agitated, naughty, tearful and keeps having little 'accidents' in his pants. I am currently taking my ex to court for harassing me over the last 4 yrs and my son has seen the police come round to discuss it but is always in another room. Twice when i've asked my son (when he's playing up) if he's worried about anything and he has said hes worried his fathers been arrested and hes worried about when hes gonna see his dad again, if at all. I have assured him that his father wasnt arrested and wasnt in trouble but that the police wanted to talk to him about a silly thing he'd done. I have told him he is not to worry because he will continue seeing his dad every saturday as usual.
My question is... am i doing the right thing keeping him in touch with his dad when he comes home like that or would it be better for my son to not have him in his life and let him decide whether or not he wants him in his life when he is older?? If i do stop him seeing his dad, what do i tell him?? My son is 5 in a couple of weeks, we live with my partner of 1 year who is 32 and i am 31. My son kept asking to call him dad so in the end we agreed. I would be grateful for any advice on this matter as i just dont know what to do for the best anymore. I always thought it was better for my son to have contact with his real father but i am now beginning to wonder. Thanks for taking the time to read my (somewhat long) query. :-( (link)

I think that your son would be much better off without his dad for a while. He's at an age where he's really impressionable, and being exposed to such behaviour cannot be good for him.

You should explain to him that the both of you love him alot, but for a while he can't see his dad because his dad needs to do some really important things at the moment.

If you think that writing and talking over the phone would not defeat the purpose of the separation, then you should encourage it.

You should also try and talk to your ex about this, but if he doesn't listen, then you could go to a social worker and ask help or the courts immediately.

Your partner at the moment would be a good role model inyour sons life but now especially you shouldn't over do it with the dad thing, but it's important that you give him loads of time and espcially Sat, bring him or do something really fun and nice.

Good luck.
And I think you are a wonderful parent for doing what you are.



Ok...so I have a boyfriend and is name is Tyler he's 13 and he is VERY bipolar and it's pissing me off. He pouts everytime I hang out with him. I CAN'T TAKE IT! I want to break up with him, but he'll slit his wrist and I know thats its just for attention. ButI don't want him too. So can someone tell me to tell him something so it doesn't seem so bad??
[P]
[S]
I'm a girl :P I'm 13 1/2 (link)

Hi,

I think that you should tell his parents first that you think this might happen. Maybe that does not seem an appropriate thing to do or you don't think he will like it, but i think that it should take a backseat to his life, you don't want to feel guilty later.

Then tell him that you need space for yourself and that you don't think you should see him anymore. try to do this at his home or yours so he can't do anything to himself.

Good luck.


It's hard for advice if the question needs to be brief as there's no background on which to base the answer.

That said, my 15yo daughter (not living here) is showing many signs of a teenager in trouble; she recognises life's tough for her at the moment yet when I've suggested therapy or councelling she flat out refuses. Those close to her have tried to councel her but I feel she needs someone she's not related to, before she'll open up and face the turmoil in her life (some she's created and some out of her control).

I am seriously concerned for her welfare and have tried seeking advice from the "welfare system" which was unable to help.

I'm a 42yo single mum with another daughter 14yo living with me.

Has anyone any advice that is practical? (link)

You do have quite a big problem. But i firstly have to say that I think you are pretty fantastic to go through so much, especially without support.

Have you heard of 'tough-love'? It's basically a concept where you tell your daughter that you love her and so you're going to be very tough on her. Your daughter seems to need help, and at the moment, you have done all you can, and you don't have much external help. that has to change.

Have you thought of sending her to 'boot camp'?One good website is troubled-teens.org, www.crisiscounselling.com or many other website if you look under teenage problems.
This is your choice, maybe you want to go there and have a look, see if you're comfortable with sendiing your daughter there. Don't use it as a threat for your daughter, like you'll send her there if she doesn't quit smoking. This is a chance to change her life and you're giving it to her. Tell her father about it, and ask for his support or to back off, you don't want your daughter running back to him and ruining her life by making it easier now.
If you don't like the idea, then you are going to really have to build a network. Go to her school, tell her principal and teacher her problems. tell them to call you if anything goes wrong. Get someone to pick her up immediaately from home, and stay with her till you get back. Other than food, shelter and clothes, the rest are all priviledges that you take away until she earns them back. If her grades increase or something, than give her them back one by one.

She needs help with the smoking and drinking and she could be suffering from manic depression. She either goes for the meetings, or you get the court to make her. She can't do it by herself.But don't forget to tell you love her, and you think that she can do something with herself, that's why you're pushing.
For your other daughter, you might want to build her own support group, there are organisations that help with her social abilites. If you want, I can check up on them and send you an attachment or direct you.

And finaly, most important, you are right now what's holding your family together. But at this rate, you're going to burn out, and there'll be no one to help. Give yourself time out. Hire a babysitter or just ask someone you know to watch the kids and you relax. there are many home spa techniques and other relaxing techniques. I can send you some ideas, like using cucumber to relax your eyes.

I really hope this is helpful to you.
Good luck.



ok. so ive been with this guy who lives in california for 2 years. and i live in tx. anyways we're really in love. the thing is i sent him a fake picture. i know it was wrong and the guilt is killing me. so i dont need it from anyone else.but i was wondering how i can break up with him..its not as easy as i thought it would be. im in love with him..i cant just end things, but it needs to be done..any advice?
thanks. (link)
Best advice: Give the guy a chance. you love him, been tog 2 years. Even in a facato face r/ship that's a wonder.

The reason why you want to break up with him is because you're too afraid how he'll take the news, that he'll dump you, so you're doing it to him first?

Tell him about the pic. give him the chance, that he hasn't been tog with you for 2 years because of your pic. Send him your real pic, or wait till he comes.
you don't want to break up with him either. So i guess i'll wish you luck with the pic and your boyfriend. Hope you have a good summer.
Cheers




my wife is 41 year old recently she met younger man and they started loveing each other she love me also but she can not leave him also i am unable to understand what to do (link)

Can you live with her having two people in her life? If you can't, then do you think you want to cool it for a while so you can think about how it is not living with her, and she'll know how it is not living with you.

She could be having a midlife crisis or maybe she's telling you something. Is it something in the marriage not satisfying her? Talk, don't yell or anything, just ask her what it is?

Good luck


Me and my boyfriend of two years just broke up. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel really depressed. And it feels impossible to get over him because we planned everything. Plus I have depression on top of that and he was truly the only best friend and soulmate I ever had. He was the one who broke it off because he's suddenly not ready for a relationship.

How do you get over someone for that long?
And I am homeschooled, so I can't keep very busy and I don't have too many friends to help me cope with this because I left my public school and won't be going back. I will rate, thanks. (link)
HI,
You've been going out with him for so long and he was alot to you, so you are not going to just get over him so easily. You need time.

And during that time you kinda need to do something else. You said also that you don't have much friends. Check if there is a Homeschooler's organization and join, you'll meet people like you.
And what about having a pen pal?
Usually those relationships last.

Bussy? There are online tutoring or job agencies. Virtual opportunities to volunteer. Millions of stufff to do online.
Check them out.

Good Luck


Okay last night I went out with my old boyfriend and his friends, but the thing is I didnt kno that they were supposed 2 be coming. Everything was good until we started riding around to this place called "Spring Hill" where my ex-boyfriends cousin's cousin lives and thats where I saw Fred (I hate him)we left there and we just went riding but after I left fred had started telling people that I was riding around will a gruop of boys (it wasnt even like that) we went to see ATL or w/e all that stuff after that we just went riding or w/e and then at like 2:30in tha morning they brought me home. To me it as just a nicelittle outting but to other people it was not. My cousin called me this morning and told me that Nard (my homeboi) had called me a hoe cuz I went out with them and they didnt kno wat could of happened they were cool dudes besides nothing was going to happen like that anyways, and I kno its going to be all around the school that Ima hoe just for going out with some "friends" what should I do, I really feel like killing my self right now they are critizing me when they didnt even kno wat had happened & nothing did thats really why I feel this way like I have nothing to live for and I am alomost just about really to go do something bad, I just dont kno what to do. Me and my old boyfriend are now going back out but people say that I shouldnt be goin with him and it weas supposed 2 be me & him and he brought his friends along wat should I do about that?? Stay with him or leave??? I feel so stupid the whole town will be talking about me and I cant take that so what should I do??? I really want to go and hurt my self someone please help me if you have yahoo im online please im me....mz_sydney_4ever (link)
HEY Sydney!!

My name is Durga. my e-mail is durga_sg@hotmail.com you can mail me there if you want.

Don't do anything to yourself. you know what happened, so does your guy.As long as you're happy with him and like him don't let people who know nothing talk bad about you.

If I hurt myself everytime people talked bad about me, i'd be a walking zombie, covered in plaster.

I'd actually admire you more if you tried ignoring because i know it's much harder than anything else. Maybe you don't ahve any other friends now, or they are not talking to you but you've just made a new one. Hi! I'd be really glad if you would talk to me.

Maybe i think you should not see your homeboy for a while so that you can find out how you feel about him and everything. If you're happy, then believe that you're going to be fine, people never gossip forever, trust me.
Cheers


My boyfriend (PJ) and I have been together since 6th grade. And know its freshmen year. Hes 15 and Im 14 1/2. We both love eachother alot. We have made-out&kissed&and all that other good stuff, but he wants to take it a little bit farther. well so do i but i dont want to take it so far that i'll be know as "Arrowhead #1 Slut"! and alot of my best friends have taken it pretty far. i just dont know what to do! please help!
(link)
Just because your friends have doesn't imply that you should too, does it?

You're 14 and he's 15, not only is it illegal, are you sure you're ready? I'm not just talking about STDs like AIDS or pregnancy.
When you sleep with someone, things change and especially when you are young. if you can't talk to someone about it, and you are hiding stuff because of it from your family, things are going to get really! tough. And having sex, it's not just the joining of hearts, for any type of fulfillment, you also need to be relaxed and a lot of other stuff. Read up or ask someone about teenage sex, there's a reason why people ask you to wait.

IF you guys love each other, then it's ok to wait at least until the both of you have been separated by high school and are still serious about each other right?
Good luck with whatever decision you make....


I have this extremly werid fear of calling people. Its not just guys or people I dont know. Its friends and family too. I'll usually say I "forgot" to call them when really I never even wanted to pick up the phone. I have no idea why it happens and it can't be normal. Does anyone know how I can become better at wanting to call people? Or figure out what is causing me to be like this? - thanks (link)
Does anyone else know about this fear? If they do you should maybe involve them in this. Try calling a friend or someone every day. Make it an appointment with the friend or family. If you don't call, the person will call you. Then you will call them back.

Every time you do this you treat yourself, because that was immensely brave of you.

And if when you tell someine and they laugh at you or say it's silly , DON'T listen to them cos, you are the one feeling the fear, you know how real and terrifying it is. That person doesn't understand, but other people will.
Check out phobias online and you can even talk to other people with problems like yours.

Good luck


Me and my boyfriend broke up. He broke up with me to go out with this one girl but we started talking again and the past 2 nights he has kissed me. He said he is confused and I want to get back with him. Would it be bad if I did? (link)

It would be if he's still going out with that girl. You might want to ask him that first, and also if he wants to go out since he doesn't seem to have asked you yet, and you might not want to jump to conclusions.

Good Luck




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