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Flirting confusion.
Okay, I'm sorry, but this is going to be REALLY long.
I was at summer camp last week, and i went with a bunch of my friends. We were having oodles of fun, and there was this guy there that i have liked for EVER! He lives near me and i see him alot, but he has never acted interested in me before. Now, at camp on...Tuesday, during the night game he sat next to me (on a loveseat) and started to poke my knee. So i poked him back. then he took his elbow and dug it into my hip so i jabbed him really hard in his side....it was kinda funny. Then he took his hand and kept putting it on my knee. I wasn't comfortable with that so i kept pushing it off but he wouldn't stop. Then on Wednesday he asked me to play tetherball with him, i so won. then we played pingpong, and i definitly lost. Then on Thursday it got REALLY weird. First I was in crafts and he was in pingpong. Those two games are in the same room. He lost in pingpong so he was sitting down. He called me over and told me too sit on his lap. I did not!!! Then I sat next to him in the chair next to him. He asked for my hand and i said "why" he said he wanted to see somthing. So i held out my hand. Then he just started holding onto my hand and stuff. I was really uncomfortable with this. After that my team and his team were assigned to go to the pool togeather. So while we were at the pool i did NOT want to go swimming. He kept splashing me and trying to push me in, and i was in my cloths! Then i got sick of it so i just jumped into the pool, cloths and all, and dunked him. Okay. He kept holding my hand all day and stuff and on friday, I was really uncomfortable with it. Then on friday everyone in camp catchs him making out with this girl!!!! Now i dont know what to think!!! I dont want to yell at him or anything, cause he is going through alot of problems and he has always been able to talk to me about them and no-one else. So i dont want him to think he cant. what should i do!!!!????
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First of all, two thumbs up for your parents for training you to feel uncomfortable in such situations. If you feel uncomfortable, you have an obligation to let him know. If he continues, he doesn't need to be a close companion. Let him know that he doesn't have a right to touch you without your permission. And might I add, don't give him your permission. Second of all, the fact that he was caught "making out" with another girl shows you that he is making poor decisions and isn't mature enough to control his emotions and/or hormones. You need to give him a lot of space. Next, you need to realize that you have no right to yell at him. You are not his authority. But as a friend, you maybe should confront him. Let him know that he doesn't need to act that way, especially if he's showing an interest in another girl. But remember, when you confront him, don't make excuses for him. He makes choices about how he responds to his problems. Tell him to talk to his youth pastor or senior pastor, or to his parents. This is something he needs to work out with an older male who can hold him accountable. Don't get me wrong. You can hold him accountable too, but if both of you show a physical attraction to the other, it is never a good idea for the two of you to be alone if the temptation is too great to resist. Be there for him to talk to, but please use caution. If you need further explanation or help, please feel free to ask.
--ByReasonofUse
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He was probably getting some kind of sign that you didn't like him, since you weren't holding hands or sitting on his lap and were basically giving him signs that you just wanted to be his friend, and he moved on to another girl. I would suggest talking to him and telling him that you like him a lot, and you have for a long time, but you weren't ready for anything physical and just weren't comfortable with it at the time. Ask him if he was just flirting with you like a friend, or if he likes you as something more, and why he would kiss the other girl if he likes you. Make sure you tell him what you said here - that you want him to feel like he can come to you for help with whatever he's going through and you don't want anything between you two to end that. And be sure to tell him that you're not yelling at him, and it's his choice what girl he likes. I hope this helps!
Love,
Nevaeh
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hey,
He obviously has feelings for you if he is flirting with you and holding your hand and everything. Or atleast it seems that way.
Now, think back to all the crushes you've had. When you think a guy doesnt like you, you get upset right? Well you said he called you over to sit on his lap and you refused. That might give him the idea that you dont like him. Also, you said that you felt uncomfortable when he was holding your hand. If you felt uncomfortable he could probably tell by the way you acted around him. That also could have made him feel like you dont really like him. Anyways, what im getting at is that he might have been upset because he thought you didnt like him.
Just because they found him making out with another girl doesn't mean he doesnt like you. She could have made the moves on him and he just went with it. After all you aren't going out with him. Even though he made out with that girl i think he must like you if he was holding your hand and everything. Guys dont just do that to any girl.
well i hope what i said made some sense
<33 kayla
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So far you've been doing the right things, trying to smooth things over even though his behavoir makes you uncomfortable. That is really good of you, but it sounds like it is time to speak up.
Tell him you are still his friend and are willing to listen and help him in anyway you can, but if you don't like the flirting, tell him that too. It can be very painful to have someone flirt so much with you at the same time as they make it painfully obvious they aren't interested in *only* you.
No matter what kind of problems this guy is having you are still allowed to speak up and say you are uncomfortable, and even hurt, by his silly behavoir. Keep up trying to be a good friend, you seem to be doing a good job, but don't compromise yourself.
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it seems like he likes you, but since you weren't comfortable with any of this, he wanted to make you jealous. i think you should talk to him, because maybe you guys will be a good couple.
good luck!
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go up to him (not infront of a bunch of people) and be like "youve been acting strange and i was wondering if something was wronge. if you dont wanna talk about it thats okay but if you do, im always here." if he wants to talk he will and if he doesnt dont make him cause that wont make it any better-- he probably feels insecure and needs somebody to talk to and you seem like you care about him so you would probably be the perfect person for him to talk to!
hope i helped!
<3 anne givings <3
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This guy is interested in you a guy one time was poking me and smiling at me I just poked him back I just got really nervous. I don't play with guys but some just want to. Find another guy that boy is a player you don't want a guy who will cheat on you just maintain your friendship no more than that he's bad news. Don't fall into illusions he could break your heart!
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Up until you said he was caught making out with another girl, I was thinking that he was in love with you, or had a crush on you. But in your last five paragraphs I revised that opinion.
It sounds as if he's young, and he has a lot of problems. At a guess, he may be getting into flirting and making out as a way of avoiding his own internal turmoil - basically, he's distracting himself with girls.
Sex is by far the noisest thing in a teenagers' brain. It's ideal for drowing out other problems. The problem is, it doesn't last.
It does sound as if he likes you. But to be honest, I think you're smart to hold back - it doesn't sound as if he's ready for a relationship right now.
It's good that you want to be there as a friend for him, though. You're right, yelling won't help. Could you try talking to him, really normally? Tell him what you're thinking and feeling now, and tell him if he wants to talk, you're there for him.
He may not choose to take you up on it. He sounds pretty confused right now. But even if he doesn't talk to you, it will probably help him at least a *little* to know that he has a friend like you, who's willing to listen.
Good luck!
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