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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I'm from Berlin, Germany. I can read and write English almost as well as anyone else. Recently I have lost my dear identical twin brother, tragically. My father doesn't seem to care much, he didn't even blink when he died but I can't stop feeling this hole. I feel lost now, and confused. I can't cry for some reason. I'm depressed and alone. My mother is with my brother and my father is always at the bar. So what can I do to ease this pain inside of me?
Your dad is grieving in his own way. He does feel something, but he doesnt show it outwardly, instead he goes to the bar in attempts to numb the pain he feels inside from the loss of a wife he probably never got over and now the added loss of a son, that was likely his breaking point, of not wanting to face reality or life anymore and try to hide from it in his alcohol.
This is not the best thing to do for grieving. You only feel better temporarily. I can't say what to do for dad. He is not the one asking for advice for himself, but at least that helps you understand he is affected by the loss but he's choosing a not very good way to deal with it.
For yourself, don't worry about not being able to cry right now. That will come in time , at the right time. You see there is a proper way to go through grieving, step by step. You can't rearrange the steps, skip and leave any out, or you will not go through grief properly. When I lost my mother 15 years ago, a friend loaned me a book called "Good Grief". You are going to miss your brother in different ways I suppose that someone who lost a sibling who was not a twin, there is a special tie that the rest of us can't understand. It is normal to feel depressed and to feel pain. If I remember correctly, we are better off to embrace our pain rather than find ways to get over it quickly or ease it. That plan can backfire just like not properly cleaning a wound on the skin and merely slapping a bandage on. In no time, it can become infected. So you can make your pain actually turn into something worse.
I would suggest hunting through bookstores, or libraries asking someone to help you find good books on grieving properly.
Everyone is different in how long they take to go through their grieving process, or even in how they do it. If you find a book isn't helping, try talking to your brother and ask him to come to you in your dreams because that is one of the easiest ways for a loved one who passed over to get a message to family. Or ask him to give you other signs that he is okay. Having the connection that twins have, I wouldn't be surprised if you meditate that you can still pick up on his thoughts, even though he's on the other side. Find time to meditate and in your mind, hold a conversation with him. this may help to ease the loneliness of not having him around all the time. If you have trouble with doing that but still wish for some contact with him, you may want to seek out a psychic who has the gift to hear from those who have passed on and give you the messages. Be careful if you choose this route as there are way more quacks, irreputable people wishing to scam you and take your money when there is no truth in what they made up to tell you. Do your research carefully on such a person asking to speak to others who have been clients. Do perhaps a back ground check on the person. I wish you the best and hope your father doesnt waste the rest of his life mourning those who are gone but celebrates times with the son he still has.
My gf is not suffering from menses since 1 month she blamed me that i make love with her so thats y she is not suffering from menses ?? But we both ate virgin .. Advice some medication
You definitely are not very clear, but I will try my best to guess. Since you use the word 'suffering' that leads me to believe you refer to cramps that she gets with her period. Then you say you make love and are virgins. If you mean by virgin that the only thing you have not yet done is penis in the vagina sex, I understand and there are many other things a person can do to make love.
One of the best ways to treat pain is by making love, and it works even better if there are orgasms. There is a certain type of 'feel good' hormone released by our bodies during making love which can take away the pain of headaches for example or even cramps from her period.
Now if this is not about cramps going away but the fact that she did not have her period show up a month after being sexual with you, there are two possibiliites, the first being that even if you didnt enter her, you got semen near her vagina, on the labia, put there by your hand or her hand or by the tip of the penis being close enough to deposit the precum on her.
the second reason is that if she is a teenageer, even though she's had a regular period before it is normal to become irregular even if she doesnt have a boyfriend at all. At 14 I had a period that came too often or didn't come for a couple months, lasted a few days to as long as 2 weeks, and so on. So her period not showing up could be due to her body still getting used to hormones and this level out by time she reaches her late teens. Or stress and worry over possibly becoming pregant can delay a period, or having been recently ill can delay it or other medical reasons. There isn't a special medicine to take to make a period appear. She needs to go get a check up to rule out any major problem. If its the teen hormone or worry or illness issues then all is fine. She should take a pregnancy test to make sure she isn't pregnant. And before you two fool around again, get on some birth control because virgins can get pregnant in a manner I explained.
If I still haven't guesse at what you were trying to say, you're gonna have to explain better and try again.
I am 15 and live with my dad and have 9 sisters who live with my mom i did have a lot of friends at one time but all of them seem to not want to know me and At the moment i feel like i have no friends or family and and they don't want to know me everytime i get my hopes up they just let me down and when i make plans they make excuses am i a bad person ? Or is it just my concious
There's a lot I do not know of your family set up, and history. I find it odd that there were 10 kids in a family to begin with and now parents are split up, one has 9 and the other has 1 kid. Sounds like a heavy load for mom.
I do not know if there is anything the family or friends are doing to cause you to feel this way. Maybe there is...but that 9 sisters(you're not pulling my leg on this???) a mom and dad, thats two more for a total of eleven and friends, (hmmm I was shy in High school and still I had 5 good friends) so that puts my guess at 16 people. Do you really think that 16 people are all choosing to ignore you and find ways to not be in your life? I can believe 2 people doing that but 16 or so? So what does that leave us with? Only two realities. Have you guessed yet what they might be?
One is that it is all in your head and has no base in reality. What could cause that? Maybe due to negative thinking which can bring on cognitive behavioral problems in which you try to fulfill your negative beliefs by what you do...subconsciously to make them happen in real life so you can validate your feelings that they were right.
Two being it was something Physically you were born with or predisposed to have appear at some point in your life.
So it could be an undiagnosed mental illness causing you to feel this way. Or it could be that you have chronic depression that needs treatment. Who likes hanging around a depressing person. No one does. Human nature makes us seek out those who are upbeat and happy and funny. You may have been born having a social disorder like Aspergers, a condition which is low on the spectrum of Autistic disorders. Even a person with slight autism will come across as different. My husband has that and has learned how to overcome the parts that hold him back and deal with the things he has no power to change. He appears normal to the general public but to really close friends and family, we are the only ones able to notice the tiny little things that are different.
I don't know you nor the friends or family to know whats going on. I do know that typically lots of teens have issues and concerns about being liked and accepted. The only other thing I can think of that makes teen boys or girls start to feel differently and act differently concerning their emotions is when their hormonal balance is off, either too high or too low. This starts around puberty.
If I were If you, I'd have a heart to heart talk with each parent, hopefully they can agree to meet you at the same time and let them know how you are feeling and make clear that you are not blaming them but you want to discover what is going on, if something is a problem on your side that needs medical intervention, or mental health intervention, and you might give them the list of things I mentioned not knowing anything about you and see if they willing to have you see a specialist. They know you better than I do. But they are not professionals. If the parents say nothing is wrong and to forget it, go see your school counselor, explain how you feel, and that the parents believe there is nothing wrong. And if you want to discover what the problem is, ask how you can get to see a doctor or mental health person to be tested.
Good luck.
i am 15 years old and i have a bf we have been together for 9 month and some days we havent been seeing each for a while but it seem like the less were together the futher were moving apart what should i do
So you dont see him at school or dont have classes with him? Did you guys ever meet away from school. I am not sure what actually changed, classes changed the next trimester or he isn't find the same amount of time to see you evenings and weekends?
At your age, most dating relationships don't last long to begin with. A relationship at any age needs time spent face to face to really have a bonding in the relationship. There's so much going on at your age, school, maybe a pt job, other friends and commitments to them, responsibilities to family and home, and trying to have a dating relationship. Not everyone does well at juggling it all and finding a good balance. And some of us expect more than a person can ever really give in reality.
What happens Each time we meet and start to date someone new is a special feeling called New relationship energy, its responsible for feeling like your head is in the clouds and your heart feels light, etc... We tend to go overboard and see way more of the person in a short amount of time than most people do once they've been together for a while. 9 months is a good amount of time to date but just in case, perhaps the amount of time he made himself available at first was due to the addictive feeling of the new relationship and it lasted a few months and then slowly started to disappear to be replaced by what is a more normal thing to expect. He may not be avoiding you, there may be nothing wrong, or perhaps he is finding he is as attracted to you as he once thought he was. It doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you, just that the two of you arent the best match for each other. In dating, hopefully you will learn and experience many such things over time and form ideas of what personality traits it is you want in a guy that you end up with long term. In our teens and even early college years, often we have no clue what we are looking for and he may be having that very issue himself. The only way for you to know if there is anything he is not sharing with you because he doesnt know how to tell you is to ask. I would advise you to be ready for any answer, even something you didn't want to hear and not go into dramatics and cry in front of him. A main reason guys won't level with a girl is because they hate to see a girl cry. If nothing is wrong and he is wondering why you feel like you are losing touch with each other, drifting apart, it may be due to differing ideas on a bf/gf relationship and you both need to talk it out and be willing to agree to a compromise of time spent together. If he cant agree to it or you won't be satisfied with a compromise, then you need to find the right guy for you or examine yourself to see if you might have unrealistic expectations.
Good luck dear.
19/f bf also this age
I've been with my bf for six months now. We see each other once a week or once every two weeks.
Recently, I've been starting to feel dis-satisfied with the relationship-even sometimes looking at other guys. My bf is nice, sweet, and fairly generous, but he isn't as caring as he could be and sometimes I don't find him attractive at all.
I'm his first relationship and I feel he's really clingy as well. Like talking about our lives together and he bought me teddy bears (2) and shocked me by saying "Just like our own little family".
I know this is typical for a first relationship-but its not my first relationship.
I don't want to break up with him, because I'm prepared to try things again.I want advice on how to tell him how to improve (in a nice way, obviously) Thnks
Are we talking 'improve' or 'change' something about his personality.
When its due to ignorance, simply never having learned how to do something right ( like washing red clothing with whites) or immaturity, again, not knowing there is a better way to do things, then talking to a person about improving on something is okay. Some of the things you mention are not things he can do anything to change like his appearance. Not the level of "caring' that you want, may simply be who he is at core. If he actually doing some dating no-no's you should be able to find something about what he is doing, listed on sites written by dating coaches or in their videos. Without specific examples, I have no way of knowing if you should say something or if perhaps it's just a personal preferance that he act a certain way and do certain things for you. It has nothing to do with whether its his 1st relationship or 5th..but rather who he is at core. What you interpret as being clingy may be him simply wanting to see you more often than 2 times to 4 times a month. I don't know how busy you both are with schedules but I know I couldn't be happy with that little contact with a significant other. And I am not a clingy person. Its perfectly fine also if you are happy with seeing him even just once a month....but the two of you need to be on the same llevel, not try to change each other into becoming what the other wants. Once we change for a another person, end result is inner conflict to the one who changed to become something they are not. It over stresses them and they can become depressed if they choose to force themselves to change on little personality trait issues all to please a partner. The person who wanted their partner to change, can in the long run lose all respect for their partner because now even though they made the changes the person wanted, they find they cant respect them, since they had no back bone, being wimpy a total pushover, etc...
I know all you want is a nice way to tell him to improve. But that wont solve not finding him attractive. It could be that New Relationship energy is what drew you together, it feels strong like love and attraction but NRE doesnt last long, weeks or months and slowly it fades away and leaves you with what ever the two of you have in common or not. You didn't mention anything about love. To some people, dating is a social thing...you gotta have a partner to appear normal in public cus everything who doesnt must be a loser or something. Its the wrong reason to date. Dating is a way that two individuals can discover more in depth the traits of the other person if this is what they are looking for in a long term or life long partner like marriage. If you discover there isnt just one thing where theres a mismatch but several, then perhaps its not the right one. If that is the case with you two, it would be totally unfair of you to approach him that way, expecting to fix him into becoming what you want. If he isn't what you want, now that the likely NRE effect is gone, then go find someone who is right for you. Girl, you need to have a man who is not only attractive to you all the time, but you are attracted to who he is on the inside, you get aroused by him, his touch gives you goose bumps, kisses start desire flowing, listening to him in conversation is soothing to you, etc. You need to be attracted to and love who he is inside because there is no guarantee the outside will remain the same. An accident could leave his face disfigured, or minus a leg, perhaps he doesnt age well and goes grey real early (a girlfriend did in her mid 20s) or goes bald early, he wrinkles early or puts on weight. Will you still love him or go looking for a pretty boy. At 19, we still don't know half as much as we think we do. At 20 I married and he turned out to be abusive. Looking back, I know now that I knew so little about dating and being able to judge a persons character fairly and accurately. You talk abut trying things again, dont know what you mean by it but to me its 'trying to make a relationship work' If dating is to find the person we have the most in common with and we love them just as they are without needing them to change anything tiny little thing about theirselves, it would be effortless and there wouldnt have to be this 'trying' to make it work. Where the trying and effort comes in is in having to dating one after another after another. The majority of people are not lucky enough to find the right person with the first person they date, not even the 2nd, or the 6th. Sometimes it takes a dozen or more people you meet before you find the right one. I did remarry. But I was a bit older and wiser now and yet still some that sounded promising from a dating site whom I talked to on phone and met in person, ended up being oh so wrong for me. My number of guys I met for dates that didnt work out numbered around 2 dozen or more. Was I frustrated, hell Yes! Did I give up and just settle for less with one of those guys? No. I kept on meeting one after the other. I am glad I didnt give up. I met the perfect man for me.
If you decide after all I've said that you need to break up and move on, then a nice way is to tell him that he is a wonderful guy, but as wonderful as he is, whether he feels you both are perfect for each other, in the 6 months you have been dating, all you feel is that he is not right for you. Rather than ask him to be someone he is not, you want him to find a girl who will accept him just as he is, and you want to also find a man you can accept as he is without him needing to be any different.
Hello! So I was texting my boyfriend last night. and we've been experimenting with touching (nothing serious) and he said that one time I moaned slightly. I was kind of embarrassed. But I'm curious, what does moaning sound like?
Thats nothing to be embarassed about. Making a wide variety of sounds when we are beginning to be aroused, something feels really sensual and good or the sounds made during orgasm are all unique to the individual. I found I made totally different sounds with different partners in the past. It wasnt something I gave thought to, its just the sounds that came out.
I can give a few examples though. Think of the Mmmm sound you make when a meal tastes real good, thats one sound, and the same kind of sound with lips open rather than pressed together. Or something more pronounced like the sound you might make if you had a bad tummy ache or cramps, that kind of groan only in this case its in response to something pleasurable rather than pain. Others will make sounds like b for the Dr. checking your tonsils, like a "Ahhhhhh" If you have tried to talk to someone when you've been running hard and still trying to catch your breath, that gasping, breathy sound is another. And theres much much more, some barely a sound at all, others an outright shout or scream. And its all normal.
If it makes you feel any better, the first time I made a sound and it was pointed out to me, I was embarrassed too.
One of my close cousins have died 4 months ago. And here the last few day's I have thought I seen seen him driving a car..and i find myself just in a daze almost. In how this guy looks identical to him. It kind of scared me to be honest..and I know it isn't him but is it odd to think you see someone who has passed away.. or is that some sign they try to give you. Also I had a dream of him and we were at a party. I guess I was the only one who could see him, talk and hear him. Why is that.
I once came across an article by a psychic that very concisely described some signs loved ones give when theyve passed on to let you know they are okay.
Dreams is one on the list. I know what you mean about being scared, especially startling when its not expected. Not on the list I will post in here but something I experienced as you did, is an image of the deceased person on top of a real live human. Its like the ultimate 'photo-shop' from the spirit world...lol. So apparently he's communicating with you as you may be the easiest person to come through to. talk to him and acknowledge that you know he's communicating with you. Heres that article.
Ten Signs That Deceased Loved Ones Give To Let Us Know They Are Around
by Karen Noe (Psychic)
After our loved ones cross over, they are very anxious to let us know they are okay and are aware of what is going on in our lives. If we are not able to feel them around us, they will often give us signs that we cannot ignore. The person who is given the sign usually knows he or she is receiving a message from the other side. I always tell my clients that they do not have to look for signs - the signs will come to them.
The signs our loved ones give us most often are:
1. They come through as an animal. Our loved ones are able to use their energy to go inside of an animal, such as a butterfly, ladybug, bird, or dragonfly - for a brief period of time. The animal does something it usually would not do, such as land on us, peck at our window, scream at us, etc.
2. They place common objects such as feathers, coins, or rocks in our path. Our loved ones like to place things over and over again in our path that were significant to them. I have had clients come to me who have had jars filled with feathers, coins, and objects they have found in the most unusual places.
3. They give off fragrances. We can often tell our deceased loved ones are around us when we smell their perfume, flowers, cigar or cigarette smoke, or any other familiar smell they had. There is usually no logical explanation of why the smell is there.
4. They make songs come on at the perfect time. We know they are around when their favorite songs come on at the right time with the exact words we need to hear. Often the same song is played in many different places.
5. They come to us in dreams. One of the easiest ways for them to come through to us is in our dreams. All we need to do is to ask them to come, and they will. However, we should ask them to wake us up after they come, or else we will not remember the dream. A dream that is a true visitation will be very peaceful and we will know it is truly our loved one. We will remember this type of dream in detail many years later. (On the other hand, a subconscious dream may be frightening or feel bad. This type of dream is not your loved one.)
6. They show us the same numbers over and over. They loved to give us numbers that are relevant to them or you, such as birthdates, anniversaries - or repeating numbers, such as 1111, 2222, 3333, etc. These numbers may appear on clocks, billboards, or any other familiar place.
7. They allow us to feel peaceful for no reason. When our loved ones are in the room, they usually make us feel so loved and at peace. It usually happens at the most unsuspecting time, so there is no logical explanation for our sudden bliss.
8. They place thoughts in our head. Because they in spirit form, our loved ones don't have an audible voice. Therefore, they give us messages telepathically. Pay attention to thoughts that just "pop" into your head. We can tell the difference between our thoughts and theirs by backtracking our thoughts. If you can find the thought that triggered the thought of your loved one, it is probably your thought. If something your loved one would say just pops in your head for no reason, it is probably him or her speaking directly to you!
9. They love to play with electricity. They turn electricity on and off. They like to flicker lights, turn the television and radio on and off, and make appliances beep for no apparent reason.
10. They make buzzing noises in our ears. Because our loved ones speak to us on a different, higher frequency, we may hear ringing in our ears when they are trying to get our attention. This is a sign telling you to listen to what they are saying.
The list can go on and on, but these are the most common ways they let us know they are around
the ones of that list I have experienced are 1,2,3,5,7,8
I know this is probably going to sound bad but my boyfriend has asked me to send him a paragraph alto prove how much I love him, I don't know what to write...
I've been thinking all day about what to put but I don't want to be cringy, I'm 14 and he's 16.
Anyone got any ideas on what I could write? Or it would be even more helpful if someone could write something for me to add to or to help me out, thank you!
Usually when someone asks you to prove how much you love them by doing whatever it is they ask of you, it should be a clue to you that they know zilch about relationships and love.
Love is an emotion, just like sadness or happiness. You can only express it, you can’t 'Prove' it. It’s something that has to be felt and experienced.
Anyone who asks you to prove your love doesn’t love you yet. It’s not necessary to even attempt to prove anything to him if he's too immature to understand that love can not be proven. Be careful though because a boyfriend who asks for proof of your love may just want to take advantage of you in some way or is just testing to see how easy you are to control. You don't want a boyfriend who is a controller. It turns into an abusive relationship.
I have never asked my 2nd husband to prove to me that he loves me. He's never asked me either. Its a mute point. I already knew by his actions before I married him. If the actions weren't there, I wouldn't have married him. Actions speak louder than words.
Okay, with all that said, if you are still seriously considering writing something to him, theres an article that shows how to prove to someone that you love them but doing it the right way. Here's an excerpt:
Be truthful about your feelings and voice your thoughts about him.
The easiest way to prove that you love someone is by expressing your opinions about this special person. If nothing at all stands out about him, then perhaps he isn't doing his part to help you feel loved. When a woman feels loved, it will be easy for her to love in return. He should be following all the things mentioned in here;
http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-game/how-to-prove-that-you-love-someone
If I write the words for you when I don't even know him, then it really isn't a profession of Your love for him, it would be a made up nice sounding falsehood to pacify his curiousity. thats all. If you still don't have a clue from reading the link I gave, think about what it is that he DOES that makes you love him. I don't know of anything of this applies to him but an example would be, (using what I would say to my husband) I love you because you accept me just the way I am, I love you for being patient and never raising your voice at me, I love you being as talkative a person as I am, I love your compliments I don't have to ask for, I love your support and encouragement to pursue my hobbies and talents, I love how cuddly you are.
All that and more are things that make me feel so loved that I can't help but love you in return.
If you use that last sentence to end what you describe him as, it will put the burdon on him to be the kind of guy that a girl could fall in love with, not the other way around.
So, me and my boyfriend get along really well, we've had our ups and downs but we've stayed together. I'm 14 and he is 16, is this bad? I've got a feeling it is, he's giving me hints that he wants sex with me and I know this from another question I've asked on here, I'm not going to have sex with him until I'm ready and it is legal but I'm just not sure if it's right...
I probably sound crazy.
So if I understand you correctly you want to know what the law in your particular state is regarding a guy at 16, wanting sex with a 14 yr old girl. I don't think your age is a bad deal, as long as you're both in high school, I don't see the problem with dating someone in highschool from another grade level.
Many teen boys will try to pressure a girl for sex. But there are also a few who wont and it doesnt matter what their age in school.
If you do a web search online for age of consent, you will be able to find sites that show by the state. If not in the U.S. you can do a search for your country. Heres one of the sites for US.
http://www.ageofconsent.us/state-laws/
I was a child of the '60s and raised in the Catholic Church and am a practising Catholic today. As a young person I struggled a great deal with the Church's position on Sexuality and Masturbation and according to the teachings of that era, committed Mortal sins on a daily basis. I would like to see opinions, comments, and advice from others who have lived through the same circumstances, how you dealt with it, and how you deal with it now. It seams the urge never fully goes away. If there are any Catholic Priests out there, I'd love to hear from you too! I have never fully understood the Church's position on human sexuality.
I too was a devout church goer. Remained pure until my wedding day. Discovered that my husband and I were sexually mismatched, not able to inspire passion and desire in each other but even when we forced ourselves to have sex, he didn't want to do it as often as I. And so I as a female, masturbated a lot. I struggled with feeling guilty until I got really good at hearing from God. The Holy Spirit tested me a lot, giving me scripture verses to give someone, or a person to go ask if I could pray for cus they have a headache even though there was no outward sign. Once I found that I was correctly hearing because the situations were exactly that which God was telling me, I could then listen to what else God had to tell me. I would ask questions and you bet, masturbation and sexuality was some of them. What a heard is that well meaning people misunderstood some things and so came up with the rules and doctrines they did. Masturbation is not a sin, thats what I was told for one thing. And having sexual thoughts is not either. We're told thats the same as commiting adultery. Our thoughts and what we say, mean nothing. Its by our actions that our fruit is shown.
Remember the parable of the two sons, One told the father I wont' do it, but later he did, the other said yes I will but never did. Who did the fathers will? End result, its not what we think or say that matters, its what we do. The mind is known to be our greatest sexual organ. I see nothing wrong with fantasy between a husband and wife, role play if you will. My husband and I do and enjoy the experience.
So how I dealt with what the churches stance is on sexuality, is to go to the source. I would suggest you do the same. This way we by pass all the misinterpretations or outright hysteria about the subject. A person can be a sexual creature and a godly creature all at the same time. God gave us our sexuality and our libido's for a good reason, to enjoy them (responsibly) not to be tested and tortured to abstain from enjoying self pleasuring or with a partner.
Hey you answered my question and wanted to know more so i figured it'd be easier to ask you
We're both 16
This is what she said
FINALLY!! Jack i don't mean to sound cocky but i've known for a very long time that you've liked me, but has that affected the way i am around you NO OFC NOT!!! now that you have told me is that going to make things awkward between us deffo not, nothing is going to change between us!! Honest truth, if Will wasn't in the picture Jack things would be soooo different and ngl i probably would be with you, but he is in the picture and im sorry but i really like him! i will always have feeling for you Jack even when i'm a cripple and married i'll still have these feelings but i just think we should keep what we've got now!! nothing will change though now you've told me okay, i promise!!
We've talked about what happened and she is still kinda clueless to the statues of our relationship and she actually said "We act like we're together"soo i really dont know anymore
Yes, I remember answering on the first question. Its an unfortunate thing but she does seem clueless and immature but then many teens are, it comes with the territory. It is torture for those few teens whose brains have matured faster if they can't find friends or dates who are at their level of cognitive ability and maturity.
If I remember, she is also the one who talks about always feeling you will be like her husband...your private joke thing. If you are one of those who is maturing faster mentally, you put yourself through torture hanging around waiting for her to come to her senses. She may never be fair to you and just lead you on and play with your emotions. Some girls are like that. And then there are others who would treat you really well and not play mind games with you.
Being its a female we're talking about, I can't say if its hormone related, this behavior of hers but theres nothing you can do to change that either. I know your heart is set on her. First time love is special but not as special as if it was reciprocated. Right now, its one sided, just what you feel. You won't know how special it is to have a girl who feels the same about you back.
I can tell you that time will change how you feel about someone who can't love you back. Happened to me between my divorce and finding the man I married as number two. Had my heart broken. Years later after running into him when I had my new husband, I realised those deep feelings I had that caused such heart ache when he said he couldn't reciprocate them, were no longer there. I would probably still enjoy his company as a friend, hanging out with me and hubby but nope, those strong feelings I had were gone.
Acting is just that, an act, not reality. So if she feels she just acts like you two are together as a couple, she is only playacting at it, not serious. So don't put your hopes up because of her acting ability. Perhaps she should try out for the drama team if she's so convincing..hahaha.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. You honestly tried talking to her again and got no where. From this point on, it would be a waste of your time to wait around hoping she changes her mind. If you think you may marry some day, your time between now and then is probably close to 10 years away if not a little more.
Your time would be better spent entering the dating scene and learning what you like anddont like from all the different personalities. And later when you are old enough to marry, be sure you and her are also on the same wave length as far as not just romance but sex. You dont' want to end up with someone who wants sex way less or way more than you feel is normal or you are comfortable with, and like the same kinds of things. Right now is the time to explore personality traits and what you like and dont like in women. Don't waste the time pining over someone. Just make a list of the things you do like about her and look for that in the next girl but always look to improve on each dating relationship by learning from the last. Even tho you and her didnt date, you did learn some things so they still count on your list. You'll also want a written or mental list on the things you don't like about a girl like insincereity, playing mind games, stringing a guy along, saying things one doesnt mean. You get the picture. The breakup and moving on stage in any relationship is hard but the ultimate goal is finding your long term or life long partner and that will be easier to do if you learn from the bad parts of one relationship, keeping the good parts in mind for the next and improve as I said with each relationship the quality of girl that you date. It takes patience to find the right one. People tend to put up a false front and try to impress a person when they first meet and then after a couple weeks let their real self show. So dont give up, theres a special girl out there for you.
Aright, so a few weeks ago I snapped and told my best friend that I really really bloody liked her. Her response was that she knew that I liked her and had done for a while but still wanted the friendship. This hit me hard and so i asked for some space for a few days and she agreed. Its a few weeks from that and things are back to normal really, we talk like we did ect but im not sure if im over her if not what do i do? I dont want to end the friendship as you dont come across good friends often....
Hey there, I need to know the exact words of her response, not just your paraphrasing them because the way you presented it, I see a totally different possibility.
If she actually said, "I know you've liked me for quite a while now but I don't want to lose the friendship." These particular words doesnt necessarily mean you are stuck in the 'friend zone'. She could be fearing that once you both take the relationship to the next level of romance, dating and eventually sex, that it would become only about that and the friendship part would be affected and change.
two important foundations to any healthy dating relationship or marriage is being best friends, and having that spark and chemistry for romance. In dating, if we haven't dated much yet, it's hard to make a comparison and even know what that romantic spark is supposed to feel like. I hear this often from male/female best friends. One or the other did not feel a big attraction with strong feelings the moment they first laid eyes on their friend so they assume there is no possibility of love ever. That isn't true. Some starts to a friendship also come with the instant explosion of feelings and in others it takes both some time to get there, it builds up slowly over time to become as strong as the other type. Too often though, the guy recognizes the love part and the female doesn't.
I don't know your age so its hard to to say anything more specific. If you are teens, try to bring this up and take what she says and reword it to feed back to her and ask if this is what she is saying. As teens we tend to go through many dating partners before we find the right one. If she actually says she had no romantic feelings about you, then she should have no problem with you dating other girls. Since you care about her, she hasn't had opportunity to be tested this way.
Its a classic tale I have come across several times now. Once the guy agrees to just be her friend and reluctantly starts dating, all of a sudden her 'best friend' isn't as available as before, another girl is getting his attention and all of a sudden she feels jealous which jolts her into realizing she has feelings for him after all, or as a teen she may do the silly thing and stop talking to him or avoiding him in which case, you will know something is affecting her and most likely this dating others is it and you need to get her to open up and share and discuss things with you.
If you are college age and of an age when some are seriously looking for marriage partners, you may want to bring up the fact that someday you are going to marry and you want the person you marry to be not just someone you have mutual romantic feelings with but someone who is your best friend, so if that day comes and you meet the girl you marry, she will no longer be your best friend, your wife will be as should be for a healthy marriage and she falls down to just a friend and she will not see or hear from you much because the majority of time is invested into the marriage. If you moved away for a job, she may not see you at all. Then ask her if she could handle that? If she still feels only as a best friend and you're both young, you'll need to broaden your horizons as far as experience and start dating other girls, even though you still have feelings for her. If its a no, then you need to move on, but not until you have truly clarified, and had the best 'what if' discussion of future scenerios if you are marriageable age.
Hope this helps.
Hi, so me & my bf been together for 9 months. The other day he saw i had my ex bf added on facebook, so he went and unblocked his ex on fb (he had her block because i told him) and tried searching for her , i guess it was to send her a friend request but she deactivated her facebook. Should i be mad that hes doing that ? He doesnt know that i know this. And it was my ex thay friend requested me so i just added him. And also he searches for girls on fb and sends them a friend request and then likes their pictures :/ idk what to do
So if I get this right, you think its a different story that your ex is the one who intitiated a FB friend request, but that your boyfriend is the one initiating with with ex or other girls. I thought FB was and still is just a social site, not a dating site. Who we have as social friends to keep in touch with, even ex's doesn't matter. If it really did, you wouldn't have added your ex even though he was the one asking.
I have very few ex boyfriends who use FB, but of 2 who do, they are friends on there. Circumstances, like moving prevented us from dating further so we didn't part as enemies. I find it nice to occasionally read status's of people I've known in the past. The difference is I am not lonely for them and missing them terribly and trying to have some kind of dating relationship on the side online. I am happily remarried. My hubby also has old friends and ex female best friends and ex girlfriends even an ex wife he keeps in touch with.
With dating, we're supposed to learn things about the person we're with, about personallity traits and whether its something we can live with or find something better. Each person we move on to date should be an improvement over the last, otherwise we're not learning. So even though the last person dated might not be a bad person, they were not right for you or your boyfriend in some way. And if not right for you
If his focus on girls on fb is greater than his focus on you, out of balance that way...then it is a problem. Talking to people even girl people on fb is not a crime and you have no reason to be feeling upset or angry with him over that.
However, If a couple mutually agree to set up some boundaries and rules for the relationship and promise to stick to them and one is to have no friends of the opposite sex on fb or any other online site, then once agreed to and and you do otherwise, a person is breaking trust and break a promise and that is not good for a relationship. I see no need to ban talking to others. What really counts is how he treats you and it is an issue only if it changes for the worse or stops.
Does he compliment you and build you up about your talents and encourage you to go after your dreams and or refine your talents, does he put your wishes and needs before his own, is he polite, caring, romantic, he is drawn to want to hold you and cuddle and kiss you, always glad to see you. Prefers time with you no matter what you guys are doing and doesnt like the times apart, etc... then if nothing else in his life is affecting the attention he puts towards you and the relationship, there is no problem.
And I will say this now because at some point in life you will question this also: It is also okay to fantasize about others sexually outside the relationship as long as it enhances what the two of you have together and doesnt go out of balance with him wanting to daydream of other women more than he does you. Women fantasize about men too, its normal...only most women do so bases on a romance setting with sex rather than pure sexual as the guys. If it ever becomes an issue and you'd like to discuss this further, let me know.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years and I always wanna have sex and he doesn't want to as much as me. We have sex about once a month. Whenever I try to have sex and he says no i get really upset and angry. Is it normal to feel this way?
When you say you always want sex, how often is that. You say it only happens about once a month with the boyfriend. Are you more happy with once a week rather than once a month, 8 or more times a month?
Everyone has different libido's so some want sex every day, a couple times per day if they can get it, and others are happy with a couple times per week. Once a month is not enough for a healthy sexual person to get sex. It is however the standard according to statistics taken, where people admitted how often they want sex and have it.
I can't say exactly what is causing it, but in todays time more so that in the past, something in our environment is affecting males sexual desire/libido and many male offspring are born with smaller than normal genitals. I have seen those science reports and statistics too. Perhaps he is one of those. Since he's never felt a great sexual desire, he feels he is normal and that you are abnormal for wanting it more regularly.
Theres nothing really that can be done to change him in that way. He may not be a sexual creature at all, being A-sexual. A-sexuals can desire love and affection but not have interest in sex from what I've read. Cant say for sure its true as much isnt known yet about that.
You have every right to feel upset that you are not getting what you need, and he also has every right to not feel forced into doing something he clearly has no desire to do. This means the two of you are at a stand off. The only two solutions are the both of you coming to a compromise. Say you want twice a week. If he meets you half way, then it would be 4 times a month. You don't give your age, so it could very well be that this is your first or 2nd relationship and you have nothing else to compare against.
I will say this, if a partner is cajoled into having sex when they don't want to, its a poor substitute for what the sexual experience could be because most likely the feel of passion in your partner is missing, they will only do the rudimentary things-basic intercourse without the foreplay with you, giving you orgasms by hand or oral, being sensual etc...
I did mention two options. If compromise isn't workable, then the other choice is parting ways...yes I am serious! And no it is not a trivial reason to breakup. There are two important foundations to every healthy relationship/ One that both are each others best friend and the 2nd is being sexually compatible and happy in that area.
I was married the first time at age 20. We were both sexually mismatched. There was nothing about me that caused him to become aroused and want and desire me. I never saw him look at me with passion in his eyes in 30 years. I never had orgasms by him either. I knew I wanted more than I had, and I had to beg him for sex but he didn't want it very often. And even when we did, he couldnt arouse feelings of passion in me either. We both had sexual urges that needed fulfilling but we were with the wrong partner. In dating after my divorce, I discovered that almost every guy I dated, there was a normal desire between us and I enjoyed myself for the first time in life and decided then that the guy I married next had to be my sexual equal.
I hope you either find compromise or that someday you find your sexual equal.
When I masturbate, I only use my clit, because its the only way I know of. Is there something better than just the clit?
Yes there is something else. Would I call it better? Nope, just different. While the clit gives a more centralized orgasm, the g-spot Can give a total body orgasm. It's located no more than 2 inches in the vagina, usually as far as the 2nd knuckle of your finger and is on the side of vagina towards front side of body, I will give you a couple of links on it.
The g spot is a spongy sort of spot inside the vagina that becomes engorged with blood when you are aroused. It is alongside the urethra which accounts for the feeling that you need to pee just before orgasm, if the feeling is ignored and you continue, then you will have the g spot orgasm.
There is another spot further in, less known, called the A spot same wall of the vagina at the end of it right before the cervix. You cant reach this as easily with fingers but a sex toy can help. Unfortunately if you're not old enough to buy them yet, that will have to wait. I will attach two links. If you have any further questions on the subject, let me know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz68K2qAlkE&list=PLTXiNEUzXWKTfNYKThSk-kmJdf7AJRP5K
I love this next link for the terrific diagrams and life size models of female genitalia. Part of understanding how to enjoy masturbating and orgasms and what works best for you is to know the anatomy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVL_GudwAOI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnEJ6bcVFsI&list=TLr0nP4aQ19874KD4bBDX6261ZKMWwcThO
18/f
My bf bought me tickets to see my fave band and the gig is soon. So I thought I'd make a scrapbook and give it to him after the gig as a thankyou present.
I like the idea of having solid photographs rather than all our memories stored on digital cameras/phones etc.
We've been together 6 mnths and I bought a photo album. But what else aside from photos shall I put in there to make it look cute?
Obviously flatter items will work best. If you go to a craft supply shop, there should be a scrap booking section where you can buy buy all sorts of buy stickers and who knows what else for photo or scrap books. Choose stickers that represent things you both have in common, or favorite sports and hobbies, favorite colors. Just get creative, if you both like playing monopoly, place a monopoly dollar inside the album, If Christmas is both your favorite holiday, cut a section of leftover Christmas wrap into a square with strands of curling ribbon laid flat. If You both love snow, cut some paper snowflakes to put in there. Pressed flowers from a bouquet he gave you, pressed autumn leaves. I don't do scrap booking myself so I have no idea whats really available in stores. Hopefully this helps some.
Im 16/f and I do not get the whole fascination with dressing up, lots of makeup, dying hair etc. Like all the girls at my school are starting to wear these pretty dresses and doing their hair and they all look so beautiful..but its like i dont give a shit about any of that. Ive always been decent looking without doing a whole lot so i never really got into fashion or lots of makeup..I would like to tbh. Today i tried doing a smokey eye, and it kinda looked like shit lol. And i also tried looking up skirts and dresses that i could buy and they were all ugly and expensive. And all that stuff seems like a lot of work to keep up looking really nice everyday. I just dont get it, why is it so important? To feel good about yourself, sure but why else? I like looking nice but at the end of the day it doesnt really matter.. i dont wanna spend so much time on something that wont really get me anywhere and idk i just dont get it.
That is not a good There is no way to reasonably explain it so that anyone can 'get it'. No it doesnt make sense and it never will.
My take on it: The majority of people are followers.Always waiting for someone to tell them what to do, even when it comes down to something like 'personal choice'. Very few are leaders. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When some of the leaders are in a position in society to make their own personal preferences on beauty known, they also begin to broadcast it to the 'followers' as being the universal standard of beauty. But its taken a step further, it is promoted as the only way to look good, be wanted and desired, be successful, be sexy, etc...all for making money off of it.
Whats so crazy is that the standard of beauty changes through history. In the Victorian era, pale milky skin instead of a healthy looking tan was in. Painters of long ago portrayed women with smaller breasts and wider hips and rounded bellies. Without such a thing a C-section for emergencies, I think the look of a woman with wider hips had them thiThat is not a good nking she could give birth easily without any troubles. In more recent times, pin up models like Maa littlerilyn Monroe were hot. She looked big boned and had the big upper thighs and hips and some poochiness to the stomach. During the hippy days, I believe it was the Twiggy look, models who today would be considered anorexic but then was considered beautiful. If todays standard of beauty is sooo correct, then were our forebearers all wrong? This is what 'followers' fail to see.
Teens and younger woman are most prey to the beauty standards which are impossible to meet. Even the models don't look that good in real life. We now are being told that a computer generated or photo shopped person look is what we need to strive for. It's totally impossible to achieve.
Young persons have a certain level of unsureness yet about who they are, worry of fitting in and being liked, of being successful in life and they think how they look will solve all their problems. It used to be mostly females affected but now many young males are falling for it too.
The problem with going for one look is....that it is not going to appeal to everyone. We still all have our own personal tastes. Some guys like thin ladies, some like a more heavy set woman or big boned, Some prefer brunettes over blondes or redheadsh, some prefer straight hair to curly, longer hair to shorter, and shorter women to taller ones. Its all personal preferances. But what is the most sexy thing a female can wear is confidence. Dating coaches will tell you every time, that if one girl is fair on the eyes and confident over a non confident gal who has fussed with her hair and makeup and got boob jobs, reductions, botoxed, etc... almost all men will go for the confidence over lack of it despite the looks. A woman confident in her skin and content with her looks is the real beauty for men. I do my best on here to tell that to the girls who write in with issues regarding their looks or confidence.
Guys do like a woman to care about her appearance as far as being well groomed, bathed, teeth brushed, and clean clothing in good condition that fits your body well. They could care less about the style or who created that piece of clothing. Once a woman has a guy that accepts her as her every day self, then it is nice to show her special guy how much she appreciates him by dressing herself up a bit, a style of dress or lingerie that still fits your personality but is appealing to to him in how you packaged yourself.
So, I'm 14 and this boy has already admitted he likes me and I have done the same. We arnt in a relationship but we both think it's likely to happen, we get along really well and we always talk. Over the last few days I feel like he's been dropping hints, the other day he was asking me about how far I had been and as I'm only 14 I have only kissed a boy, then the next day he asked me how far I would go with him and I just said 'I don't know' he replied saying would you ever do stuff like blow jobs and stuff, I didn't feel too comftable talking about this with him but I didn't say anything, I just kept saying 'not sure' ect...
Last night he asked me if I love him, obviously I said yes because i do, he said 'prove it;)'
I said 'how?' And he asked me to send him a picture of me, dirty or not.
I haven't sent one I kept saying 'I look a mess so no' and stuff, I don't want to send him a picture of me, I think it's cringey...
He also said 'when we meet tomorrow what do you want to do?' (This is this afternoon now) and I said I didn't mind.
He said 'I'm sure we can find a bed somewhere;)'
I'm pretty sure he was just joking when he said this but I'm just curious, why is he asking all this?
He is 16 and I am 14
Thanks :)
Yes, that is exactly whats going on. He is trying to pressure you into having sex.
Some teen boys have at this age already learned how emotional females are and will play their emotions like a fiddler playing a tune. Guys have also figured that there are some girls with a lower self image or low confidence and target those girls because its easier to play the mind games with them and get them to cave in and allow him to get sex.
I know you didn't give definitive answers because you didn't know what to say. Unfortunately, it sent the wrong message to him, telling him that you were weak and easily manipulated to doing what he wants, that all he has to do is try harder. Eventually it will build up to the point where he makes a threat, if you don't even just touch me or do a blow job, then I am dumping you.
And guess what, that threat works on lots of girls cus they panic and don't want him to dump them, they think they will never feel these feelings for someone else, that there isn't any guy out there that could treat them better. That is sooo wrong. A guy like this is bottom of the barrell, there will always be guys who treat you much better than this. The hardest part is breaking up with a guy like this and dumping him cus of the ties your heart has. Yes, its hard at first but looking back in time, you'll be glad you didn't allow him to manipulate you like this. You tell him in a firm voice that you are not comfortable doing those kinds of things and not ready at your age. Also tell him he is not going to wear you down til you cave in and let him have what he wants. You say that it seems like he is into you only for getting some sex but you want a lot more than that. You want a guy who cares about you like a best friend and puts your needs and wishes and desires before his own. sO if your desire is to wait until you are 18 to have sex, he'd have to be okay with it or he can leave. Put it in your own words but make clear statements and set up the boundaries of what you will not tolerate such as not even allowing him to mention sex again, not even jokingly or you will dump him. and be prepared to do it, no fake threats or he will find a way to control you.
I was at the beach and the waves hit my left ear really hard. I've been experiencing "popping" sounds in my left ear since then. What does this mean? I am not experiencing any pain but I'd really like to get rid of the sounds I keep hearing. I don't think I have tinnitus but maybe my eardrum has been damaged? I'm not sure. Do you think this can be fixed and without surgery?
You may have a narrow ear canal like me. What this means is the water that finds its way in does naturally flow right back out and there is a chance of having problems with ear wax affecting hearing.
Just taking a shower I have to take care to not get water in my ears or I immediately will hear the popping sounds and it feels uncomfortable. It is the sound of water moving around but not able to come right back out and talking or chewing food movements will also move the eardrum and inner ear parts causing any trapped water to move around causing the sounds. An ear drum doesnt get damaged by water getting in there.
But there is always a chance of an infection starting if there are any germs in the water.
Ear wax build up is a typical problem for narrow ear canals and can hold water in. I would suggest using a product for softening and getting rid of ear wax just in case there is some. Also use a hair dryer on low setting to direct air towards your affected ear. The warm air may help to dry it up.
Little children prone to have many ear infections are checked out by a doctor these days and if the ear canal is more narrow than usual, they will put in temporary tubes that gently force the canal to grow larger while still in the forming and growing stage. It doesnt work on adults so you are stuck with narrow canals.
If the problem persists, go see a Doctor to have him check things out, give any more suggestions, maybe remove some earwax and check for possible infection. Good luck with that.
I just cant stand it, I really want to masturbate, but I'm on my period right now. Is it still ok to?
Yes it is ok, as long as you don't mind your fingers possibly getting a little blood on them.
If it's a real heavy flow, it could be messy. Doing just the clit is least messy. Use of toys is okay too as well as having intercourse on period with husband or someone you are fluid bonded with, both having been tested for all the things you can be tested for and both are in the clear.
At the beginning or ending of a period when the flow is a little lighter, it is entirely possible for the flow to actually stop entirely if the female is aroused enough and the flow will not continue until you are done having sex. Some men have no problem with whatever little flow you might have, they find it to be a good lubricant.