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Confused
Hi, so me & my bf been together for 9 months. The other day he saw i had my ex bf added on facebook, so he went and unblocked his ex on fb (he had her block because i told him) and tried searching for her , i guess it was to send her a friend request but she deactivated her facebook. Should i be mad that hes doing that ? He doesnt know that i know this. And it was my ex thay friend requested me so i just added him. And also he searches for girls on fb and sends them a friend request and then likes their pictures :/ idk what to do
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This is all just going to turn into unnecessary drama.
He's probably upset that you have an ex as a friend on Facebook. Which isn't really a big deal in my opinion. But he probably thought it was hypocritical of you since you told him to block his ex.
You shouldn't care if he is friends with his exes on Facebook. As long as he isn't frequently talking to them, unless they remained friends, then it shouldn't even be an issue. He also shouldn't care if you are friends with your ex on Facebook. It goes both ways.
So he searches for girls he doesn't know on Facebook? Then just likes their pictures? I guess that's a lame way of flirting. I think it becomes an issue when he starts talking to all these girls.
If this becomes a problem for you, speak up and let him know. Don't fight with him, just tell him that it doesn't make you feel good when he's searching up girls and liking their picture. But be careful because something small like this can turn into a mess.
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So if I get this right, you think its a different story that your ex is the one who intitiated a FB friend request, but that your boyfriend is the one initiating with with ex or other girls. I thought FB was and still is just a social site, not a dating site. Who we have as social friends to keep in touch with, even ex's doesn't matter. If it really did, you wouldn't have added your ex even though he was the one asking.
I have very few ex boyfriends who use FB, but of 2 who do, they are friends on there. Circumstances, like moving prevented us from dating further so we didn't part as enemies. I find it nice to occasionally read status's of people I've known in the past. The difference is I am not lonely for them and missing them terribly and trying to have some kind of dating relationship on the side online. I am happily remarried. My hubby also has old friends and ex female best friends and ex girlfriends even an ex wife he keeps in touch with.
With dating, we're supposed to learn things about the person we're with, about personallity traits and whether its something we can live with or find something better. Each person we move on to date should be an improvement over the last, otherwise we're not learning. So even though the last person dated might not be a bad person, they were not right for you or your boyfriend in some way. And if not right for you
If his focus on girls on fb is greater than his focus on you, out of balance that way...then it is a problem. Talking to people even girl people on fb is not a crime and you have no reason to be feeling upset or angry with him over that.
However, If a couple mutually agree to set up some boundaries and rules for the relationship and promise to stick to them and one is to have no friends of the opposite sex on fb or any other online site, then once agreed to and and you do otherwise, a person is breaking trust and break a promise and that is not good for a relationship. I see no need to ban talking to others. What really counts is how he treats you and it is an issue only if it changes for the worse or stops.
Does he compliment you and build you up about your talents and encourage you to go after your dreams and or refine your talents, does he put your wishes and needs before his own, is he polite, caring, romantic, he is drawn to want to hold you and cuddle and kiss you, always glad to see you. Prefers time with you no matter what you guys are doing and doesnt like the times apart, etc... then if nothing else in his life is affecting the attention he puts towards you and the relationship, there is no problem.
And I will say this now because at some point in life you will question this also: It is also okay to fantasize about others sexually outside the relationship as long as it enhances what the two of you have together and doesnt go out of balance with him wanting to daydream of other women more than he does you. Women fantasize about men too, its normal...only most women do so bases on a romance setting with sex rather than pure sexual as the guys. If it ever becomes an issue and you'd like to discuss this further, let me know.
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