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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I want to know how to give urself a bruise im making a low budget film with my collage class i want authentic bruises so it looks real since i had to settle on snags for organs i should get this one!
If real actor and actresses had to yet burned, bruised,slashed and cut, etc... for real, they wouldnt do a movie, and you don\'t have to give yourself a real bruise. Besides, it may not even really show up on film. If you\'re more into the directing and general creating of it, my best idea is to find someone your age hoping to go for a job as a makeup artist or special effects for the experience in your film. Good luck.
I've done some research on “verbal abuse" and I think me and my brother sister and mother might be suffering from it… you see, my dad calls us names like bitch, asshole, gerk, brat, and my mother hoe, hoar, and other names offensive to a woman, and he threatened all three of my siblings: threatened to “smash" me and my sister (and once lifted a knife and said to me,“it's time" it was supposed to be a joke, but still), and also did the same to my brother. A signifigant thing he did was he threatened to break my sister's leg or arm or some bone. I learned that this threatening is punished, but I'm not sure if I should call the cops, and even if I do I can't get any proof, so what should I do?
Verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. Unfortunately there\'s no law against verbal abuse in the U.S., and the lack of a definition for it that will stand up in a court of law (like the definitions for libel and slander, for example) makes it difficult for professionals or agencies to intervene and offer help.
I know because i left a verbally abusive relationship. It takes lots of good kindhearted friends willing to take mom and kids in and help her out in any way needed until she can get a divorce.
If it is interfering with your ability at school, you might ask the school counselors what they suggest, because you dont want your grades to go down and teachers need to understand whats happening.
If Dad ever throws things or swings a fist with intention to hit but misses, its the same as actually making contact. iTs called assault and battery and you can call police for that.
There's this really nice girl I've known for awhile and we've been good friends for a long time. Now I think I might love her, what should a girl do in this situation.
Hmm, well you love your mom and any female relatives like aunts, cousins sisters, and its possible to have a deep love like that for a girlfriend. I have had love like that for a girl friend as a young teen with neither of us having any desire to be dating a girl and no sexual attraction to each other. So if your case is that, rest easy, it\'s quite normal and nothing to be concerned about, there\'s nothing that has to be done but enjoy your friendship.
If you feel like this love is more of a sexual orientation issue and feeling attracted romantically, you can either not say anything and just enjoy the friendship for now. Wait and see if you feel the same way in a couple years. Or test the waters by asking her if she knows what her sexual orientation is. Find a way to ease into the topic subtley. if she isn\'t then don\'t try to pursue anything, it could make her feel awkward and uncomfortable.
It's sort of hard to explain, so I can't imagine myself in a trillion years dating a boy. Ew! But dating a girl sounds much better to me. Yet this one boy teases me every chance he gets, which obviously means he likes me, I'm not a retard. Another boy won't leave me alone and keeps stalking me. I really don't wanna admit it, I'm not ready, but this is really uncomfortable for me, and I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you\'re not ready to date yet, would you feel different if it was a girl crushing on you? Do you think it\'s obvious on the outside to fellow students what you feel your sexual orientation is on the inside? There\'s a good chance that it is not.
I can\'t say whether the one is officially stalking or whether its simply one of the normal ways a guy shows interest in a girl, especially as teens. If neither of them has got to the point of asking you out, there\'s no need to do anything. If you warn them ahead of time by revealing you\'re a les and won\'t be dating guys and one of them was only interested in you as a friend, not a girlfriend, you might be embarrassed.
Kids your age are well aware of the wide range of sexual preferances. I don\'t think it would be a big deal to anyone to have you explain this. A guy might be disappointed but should to respect your choice and wishes to no longer be pursued.
As well as other meet & fuck websites & zoosk. We've been together over 3 years & I love him so much idk what to do. His family means more to me than my own, & I really can't see him cheating. Do you think it's possible he could be part of these websites without actually going though with it?
Just read that Instabang is a scam to get guys to pay to upgrade their acct from free to paid member. He can recieve tons of computer bot generated contacts with stolen pics of females off the net, made up emails that the computer system answers. Problem is, if a guy pays to be able to answer even one lady who contacted him, he is not talking to a real lady. Sounds like 99% of profiles are not real people to begin with. So on that one alone, he\'ll never be able to meet with a live person. As far as I can tell, Zoosk is only dating, non sex site and although for dating, membership is free. The boyfriend would have to be a paying member to write a female. A free member female cannot write to him but can only answer him. If he was free, unpaid, then he can\'t write anyone and can only look at profiles and photos and information.
So I\'d say, what you have to find out is if he is truly looking to date other girls, or is he only into looking at photos of other women.
More important than that, you say you love him and love his family but there was no mention of whether he loves you. Looking at other women is fine and natural, as long as it doesnt distract from the love the two of you have for each other assuming that love goes both ways. Does he still have time for you, is he aroused by , still desiring you? Does he have time for you, is he there for you emotionally as well. If he can still do that and look at other women there is no problem. He may be using the sites just to look at pics of women. Dating sites are not good bets for finding nude pics if thats what he wants. I dont think some sites even have nude pics available until someone is a paid member.
Are you still concerned about him? You\'ll need to have a chat and both of you lay out perimeters for the relationship, what you both are comfortable with agreeing to.
If you wish him to never look at or think of another women in a sexual manner, then you\'d have to be able to live by that same rule. It means you would have to have such control over your mind that you never take a quick second glance at a handsome man you see out in public, even if sex wasn\'t on your mind, the sexual attraction was or you wouldn\'t have looked again, or if a movie love scene has you dreaming that night that Brad Pitt was having his way with you in bed (imagine your favorite actor) You can\'t prevent yourself any more than he can from never doing that. The reason is, our brains are our greatest sexual organ and sex is just not going to be the best it can be until we utilize it. Men have no problem with that, no phobia\'s but women are raised to believe they are dirty or slutty if they look at a bare chested man at the beach and it makes em horny. Sex is everywhere you turn, on packaging, advertising, models to sell you ifclothes, perfume, makeup, whatever to make you more desirable. To avoid ever having any sexual thoughts, no matter how brief, you\'d have to stop living.
You both need to determine whether you\'re both on the same page, both want monogamy. Or if relationships outside the marriage is okay. With given permission for both to have outside partners on the side, its okay...as long as both are in agreement. The cheating is if other relationships are done in secret, kept hidden without permission. Good luck dear.
so m 17 n i hve a bf...we love each oder v much..we often go fo mvie.n we do dat lyk wid clothes on...we gt d feelin as if we r havin sex bt actually we r nt hvin it in real ...we both hve our clothes on...he jst mves back n forth as if he z doin sex wid me....wen dat happens der iz a watery discharge frm me..so cn dis mke me pregnant ?
No. The discharge you feel is most likely the internal lubricant that your body creates in preparation for intercourse. Another discharge some females can feel with orgasm is female ejaculation, known as squirting or gushing.
Sperm from the males precum or from ejaculating near the vaginal lips or inside you increases chance of becoming pregnant. If you are ovulating at the same time this happens, you have a great chance of becoming pregnant. Since you are doing what is known as dry humping, you cant get pregnant and sperm doesnt live long enough outside the males body before making it to the females body to survive and make it through clothing.
Hello Mam. I am from India 22/f. Before few months ago you give me your valuable advice. I repeat my story in short..(i have a boyfriend.we are in relation since 2011.everything was nice,but i committed a sin by telling a series of lie about my past. I had a relation when i am just 13years old.my ex is an animal.he tortured me mentally and physically and also sexually.so i ended with him.then i meet my present bf.he proposed me and i said yes.but cannot tell my past.because i feel shy and ashamed.i don't even recall those bad incidents of my life.so i hided it from my bf.we had sex 2times.then he came to know my past by some source.he asked me and i tell him everything.but he can't accept.because he thinks that i am loose my virginity with my ex.so i am a worthless woman.he told me well bad words,verbally abused me.i suffer with this nearabout 10months.i understand that he feel betrayed,but i really love him.wanna stay with him.but he can't accept me.everyday he questioned about my past,used bad languages.we live in different city,and 1 unknown person call him and told him bad things about my past and character.my bf now think that he become dirty for doing sex with a non virgin girl.he thinks that i used him to do sex. I can't understand what to do.sometime i thought that suicide is the only way to sort out this problem.i know i was wrong to tell lie.but don't i deserve a second chance from him?i love him.never do anything to hurt him.he is an orthodox person(35yrs age).i change myself,my dressup,my livlihood for him.but he never appreciate that.his only problem is that i had a sexual past!so he can't accept me.plz suggest me.what to do.
I won't say it's wrong to hide some things. Honesty is always best if asked a question. However you are not required to reveal anything and offer information that wasn't asked of you.
However when it comes to choosing a mate for marriage, the better thing to do is bring up a conversation on important topics that you now realize are better dealt with finding out about before hand rather than after. If there is a next time for you relationship wise try asking the man what he believes the role of a woman is. Can she dress any way she wants, hold any job she wishes and work outside the home, is it okay if she's been in a sexual relationship before. Find out what his ideas are. Then tell him what yours are. And if yours are different, tell him its not going to work to marry him and wish him well and move on to date someone else.
If he says he wants you to change for him, DON'T. You already know that doesn't work, you'll be very unhappy not being able to be yourself.
If he say's he is okay with your views and he has no problem with you
being different and promises he will allow you to do as you wish when just moments before he stated his views on women and they were different, he is lying to you and himself and taking himself out of integrity. He can't be trusted. End result with him will be that since he's a man and considers himself the leader of the household, he has the right to change the rules or what he says is permissible the same way he changes clothing....daily...or as often as he wishes.
So make a list of things that are important to you and ask the guy first what his beliefs are on any of these issues. Dont reveal yours first. These are very important points to go over before agreeing to marry. Marrying someone who is not matching in beliefs, ideals, what one likes sexually, goals, hopes dreams etc... is no different than you walking up to a random stranger on the street and pledging to marry him. Can't see yourself doing that? Well, you just did with the current husband. You may have gotten to known some surface level things like his name, phone number, birthday and where he lived before you married but you did not have a good grasp on information on him that goes deeper, the kind of stuff important in marriage. I don't know if India has the saying "a grab bag" but in the U.S. a grab bag is a bag filled with unknown items that is offered for sale. All you will know is how heavy it is, what the bag looks like and how much money it costs. When you open it, you may find that you did not need nor want any of the items in there. So its a waste of your time and money. People are sometimes coaxed into getting a grab bag because they like being surprised. When making such an important life decision...surprises are never nice.
i am 13 and my boyfriend is 19. he wants to have sex with me ? what should i do ?
First off, tell your parents, cus I\'ll bet they have no idea you are dating a 19 yr old. Whats wrong with this situation is the age difference. He is of legal age of consent to have sex but you are not. If someone his age goes after a younger person for sex, that is a punishable crime called statutory rape. What is statutory rape?
Statutory rape is the crime that someone can be charged with if they have sex with a person who has not reached the age of consent, but who agrees to have sex. Some countries have different names for this. Some states in the US for example call it \'unlawful sexual penetration\' or just \'rape\'.
This laws are in existance to protect younger people. Please read the following link on teens sex and the law.
http://www.avert.org/teens-sex-and-law.htm
Yes, we are aware that lots of kids your age are having sex but usually with someone else of same range range, under 18. Each state has their own laws regarding two minors having sex if someone, like a parent were to protest and make an issue of it. Its an entirely different matter when an older guy who knows better, is going after young girls knowing full well they are flattered to have the attention, not realizing he\'s interested in them just for sex, not because he likes her personality. His intent in going after someone your age is to pressure you into giving him sex because an experience like this is beyond your scope of experience and why you felt led to ask us. All it takes is a threat by your parents to call the police. In fact, in some states, sexual contact that constitutes him having committed statutory rape with you can be something like just having kissed. So depending on the place you live, he may already be guilty of statutory rape.
Even if you really do want sex too, it still is a crime.
Hi, I'm 19/F. I'm deeply in love with my boyfriend of almost 2 years now but our relationship has been kind of private due to my parents. They are not allowing me to start dating until I get at least a bachelors degree but I love my boyfriends so much. He wants me to tell my parents about us so do I but I'm scared that they'll get mad and start drama. His mother knows about us and I just want to be able to tell my parents about anything. What should I do?
And they want you to wait until that point for what reason? Did they ever say? Perhaps they came up with that because one or both of them never completed their degrees because they met and fell in love and that distracteducase them from their schooling? OR made them decide to drop out.
As your parents, they had every right to make rules about your dating while you were not yet of the age of consent. But at 18, you are considered a legal adult and all they can do at this point is make a suggestion, but your parents can not make such a restriction as not allowing you to date.
The only situations in which I think they may still believe they have a right is if you willing agreed to their plan at some point. Now that you are older, if you have changed your mind, the thing to do is let them know that you no longer want to be held to a promise you made in the past to wait until your bachelors degree to date. You let them know that you are breaking that agreement and will begin dating, or have begun dating.
The only other reason I have seen often is when the parents are totally footing the bill for college and make rules they expect you to follow if they are paying and if you break those rules, they threaten to stop paying. If this is the case, you had a choice to accept their offer exactly as stands or disagree and try to renegotiate with them for something different if you still wanted their funding college. Or just not agree at all to their rules. If you did agree and have changed your mind, then you must be willing to lose the financial help.Thats just how it goes. Hope this helps you decide whether to tell them or not.
If you do share this info and they are not supportive or don\'t approve, Do not despair. Keep in mind that your life is only yours to live, not for them to live through you. You must do what you believe is best for you. Its hard for some parents to switch from parenting mode when their child becomes an adult to a more supportive counseling mode but many eventually figure that out. For parents that dont get it, we keep in mind that they say what they say cus they love us and want the best for us. good luck.
Hi, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years now. I sneak him into my bedroom when my parents are at work. Sometimes we have sex and sometimes we talk and then go to sleep. Is this bad?
If you want to know if the location is bad, well frankly there are very few safe and comfortable places for teens to have sex. So if thats what you meant, its the best place i can think of to have sex when you\'re a teen. I had an 18 yr old daughter just starting community college, still living at home and she immediately meets a guy and they fall for each other. He still lived at home too. I told her she could have him overnight in her own room if she was comfortable with that, she took us up on it. Most parents aren\'t that open minded. If your parents don\'t care what you do in their house, then it should be okay was far as they are concerned. If they have given clear rules that you are never allowed to have boys in your room, then you are going against their wishes and breaking trust with them. Even if they don\'t know what you\'re doing, you do and taking yourself out of integrity can and will eat away at a persons conscience.
Is it bad to want and desire a boyfriend enough to have sex with him? No, its a normal human response. But with it come responsibilities, use of birth control, making sure you\'re of the age of consent so no one can get in trouble with the law or go to jail for sex with a minor. Making sure that you have the okay of the parents, or at least discussing with them that you would like to begin to be sexual with the boyfriend. Its an awkward conversation for any teen as well as for lots of parents. Its easier to never bring up the subject. But that leaves all these questions in ones mind unanswered, thus wondering if it\'s really okay to be doing. I hate having to worry about a persons reaction because boundaries have never been discussed. If your parents have never discussed dating boundaries with you and such, it may be high time to do so. It could be that they think its too early in your life to be bringing up the subject and have no clue that they\'re way behind.
It\'s hard to do, but if you decide you\'d rather enjoy boyfriend with a clear conscience rather than worrying of what if\'s, at least write mom a note to tell her whats on your mind. Good luck
The only signs I see of as of now.. is that when I'm around and he's on his cell phone.. he is constantly on it on face book and what not. He was on the couch and I was on the recliner watching t.v. and he was on his phone looking at different stuff. I noticed at times he would have his phone turned away from me as if he new I would look but then if it was something he wanted me to see he would have it visible to me and then ask me to look at this or that. Another sign I have seen is that he constantly has his phone by his side. I'm not 100 percent sure he is cheating because he gives me compliments all the time and he's attitude, the way he talks to me and treats me has n't changed. The only thing that has is him being on his phone and I feel he is hiding something I just don't know what. I also have seen him looking at other girls pics which that don't really mean nothing I don't guess I just wish he wasn't so secretive as it seems to me. I had once had this feeling with one of my exes and I was right. Just trying to figure out more signs. Maybe it's just me. I hope its not true that he is talking to another girl. Thanks in advance.
I take it the ex then was speaking with girls on facebook as if he was available. Whether an ex boyfriend or husband, either kind of relationship needs to have some ground rules and boundaries. If you start off into a relationship, especially after having a problem in a past relationship, its even more important to discuss and both agree upon any boundaries. Often, a girl may want their guy to never look at another woman, whether a person standing in line at the check out stand or a nude in a magazine, there is no harm done if it is occasional, still in balance with all else in his life, doesn\'t take the majority of his time and doesn\'t change how he treats you or the amount of time and love and desire he has for you. If he\'s able to handle reality and know\'s that you are the most important thing in his life.
From what you say of his actions, how he treats you is that of a man in love with you. >Sounds like a wonderful guy. If he is hiding anything, it may not be a girl he is conversing with but rather an off color sexual joke a friend has posted that he isn\'t sure you might be able to handle without becoming upset. Most likely that is all. My husband has one friend from childhood and another facebook friend who sends him the funniest sexual stuff ever. At first he didnt show me either but when his out of control llaughter got to me, I begged to see what was so funny. He warned me first that he has a school friend who sends lots of crazy sexual content and then shows me and i laugh too. In fact, some game playing friends have put out an equally funny sexual related post that I send to my husband so he can send it to his friend who loves that stuff. My husband treats me well, there is no difference in his desire for me so I have no doubt of his love for me, even if either of us enjoy something on facebook of a sexual nature.
You may have suspected you feel this way due to what happened before and yes, thats probably why.
Here\'s what I suggest if you both haven\'t talked about perameters of what you are and are not comfortable with, start making comments if you\'re not comfortable coming right out and starting on the subject, something like next time you get something sexual on facebook you think he might enjoy, call him over and show it to him and tell him you thought he would love it. I am a person hard for those who dont know me well to be able to read me. Most think I am a Miss Prim and Proper who would be offended at anything that hints at something sexual, when if the truth be known, they most likely would be very uncomfortable with much of what I\'ve experienced in life.Basically, I am much more open minded than most people. If you know you can be, say and do things to let him know. Next time he seems to be viewing something of a questionable nature by his body actions, talk to him like his conhort in crime. Just blurt out, \"Hey, if you\'ve got something juicy and sexual there, don\'t hog it all to yourself, I wanna see it!\" and chuckle and laugh. If he acts startled and asks what you mean, then just say you noticed his phone screen was facing you just a while ago and just now he shielded it from you. If he says it was nothing, maybe its true or maybe he still needs to learn to trust that you won\'t come unglued on him.
As some of my friends and another advicegiver is prone to say in their own veuariations, it basically goes like this: you can look all you want but you can\'t touch. If you can be secure with that, your guy will eventually open up to you. Perhaps he had a jealous untrusting girlfriend in the past so he\'s taking it careful with you. Good luck
Hello, I'm 18/F and my boyfriend is 21. We've been dating for almost two years now and we are deeply in love with each other. He wants to get me a promise ring but I think it's a bit childish and I want an engagement ring instead. What should I do?
So you want an engagement ring instead? You must have some idea\'s in mind as to how your life should play out. How long do you think is a good time for you to be engaged? How big of a wedding? How many kids do you want to have and how soon?
Your time frame may not match with his and he has a perfectly good reason, a practical, logical one that Breezy hinted at, for not going for an engagement ring yet. So hon, I suggest you have a good heart to heart talk with him, not to try to convince him to go your way, but find a compromise if one can be found.
I know it may hurt to be told that instead of your boyfriend coming across as childish that perhaps in reality your expectations are too high for your boyfriend and when others hear your story it can come across to them as you seeming immature, even though you may not in actuallity be so. But your statements could easily make you appear so.
If there\'s more to your story as to what, if anything, the two of you have discussed for the future for you as a couple that may help shed light on your situation, we can help you better. If he has shared why he wants to do this in two steps, promise ring, then engagement ring, it would help for us to know. If he simply popped the surprise on you and said he wants to give you a promise ring and you never said anything back to him or questioned his actions or thought behind it, then you still need to do that.We cant guess what he was thinking. Communication is an important part to a healthy relationship. 18 is young to be engaged. 20 is early to get married. I know cus I did at 20. And it turned out to be a disaster. But if you are mature enough at 18, then do the mature thing and when he says or does something that brings up questions in your mind, or doesnt sit right with you, then come right out and ask him. Be careful to not speaking in a harsh tone of voice, or point the finger or condemn or ridicule or any other negative thing.
If you do decide to talk to him, a good thing to avoid is saying you thought he was childish. Make any statements be about yourself, not him, so saying \"You disappointed me cus i was expecting an engagement ring\" is out of the question because it starts with the word \"You\" and immediately puts the other person on the defensive, same as you would react if someone spoke to you that way. Instead, When you gave me the promise ring, \"I\" felt disappointed. I guess I was expecting that after 2 years together an engagement ring was more likely what you\'d give me.\" This doesnt blame him for his choice...just informs him how you felt so now he can realize he needs to discuss things with you. Hope this helps you some.
I dont know what to say ,i want to know whats the purpose of my life,like what am i made to do.ive been cheated on ,ive been bullied .i doubt any one would answer so just hear me out,i dont know what to do,how do i find my purpose ,and i also need to make new friends!!
Thats a good question and I hope you find at least a little comfort in knowing that a great majority of people are still trying to figure that out for their lives. Knowing ones life purpose is something you kinda figure out with the experiences you go through in life or you accidently stumble across them. Those people you know who say they know exactly what they want to do in their life, what they want to accomplish, what degree they\'re going after and such, may seem like they have figured out their life purpose. I know many people like that personally and a good majority ran into dead ends, something that happened to cause them to question the path they took and try another one now. We don\'t have enough life experience to run into such dead ends on our path and come to the point of questioning where to go from there.
I could also take a spiritual twist on this. I have read books that say each soul born onto this planet comes here already with certain goals it wants to accomplish while here, big things it wants to learn and obstacles to conquer, and some smaller ones too. Sometimes a souls life purpose can be as uncomplicated as growing up with an absent father and learning how to be a good father despite no example in your own life. Other times ones life contains abuse or ill treatment by others as a way to learn something...maybe how to face harsh treatment and yet still turn out to be a loving trusting loyal friend to all instead of being jaded, hostile, reclusive, or lash out at all. I personally have found that having found some form of communication with the Devine, I may not get a clear picture of what is coming up (cus I might try to avoid it or run from it) but when I am in the midst of it, I find in prayer I can get confirmation on how to continue through it successfully and come out all the stronger, a better person.
I am sharing the only guideline I can think that may help a little along the way by focusing on yourself and your feelings and actions. Here it is:
12 Steps to Self Care
1. If it feels wrong, don\'t do it.
2. Say exactly what you mean.
3. Don\'t be a people pleaser.
4. Trust your instincts.
5. Never speak bad about yourself.
6. Never give up on your dreams.
7. Don\'t be afraid to say \"No.\"
8. Don\'t be afraid to say \"Yes.\"
9. Be kind to yourself.
10. Let go of what you can\'t control.
11. Stay away from drama and negativity.
12. LOVE
If you can do all these things for yourself, even if you never figure out the purpose of your life, you will have lived a positive, productive life , grown as a person and affected the lives of others in positive ways and that is a good place to be.
My dad is a jerk. My mom had to stay with him while going through medical school because she had us kids. She couldn't leave him bc she had no money and no place to go. I just know that during fights he gets violent and he's rude and doesn't help. Recently there was a brush fire. I was transferred to another middle school, my sister to a different elementary, and other sister (high school) was let go. My dad just left home to go to work when this happened . My mum called and told him to pick us up because my mom had to get things from the house and evacuate. InsteAd he tells her she can do it and continues to work. Bitch. My mom instead calls my friends mom and asks her to pick me up. We meet up at a buffet. In see my group of friends and their moms and dads. The dads were all there for them. When we all were finally allowed back inside the house because they contained the fire, we found out My dad had invited his cousin to come and made my mom cook. When he left the fight started.he kept saying what did you want me to do and zere was nozing( stupid Arab accent) he's soo rude and these things happens. He is stuck in his Arab world. I hate it . Idk if it's my heritage bc all the American dads aren't like this. He never wants to come to my games. He always says he's too tired to do anything. All he wants to do is sleep. I hate it . But then an Arabic family were friends with has an active fun dad. It's messed up . He is stuck in the 18th middle eastern century. I don't want my mom to deal with this bs bc she wants us to have a good childhood . How can we change him? Bibb
If your dad was raised in a different culture, it may be that he got his views and ideas of how a relationship, or family should function, from there.
I have an ex, born and raised in the U.S.A, and he\'s caucasion. He was verbally abusive and the fire story sounded like something my ex did, it always fell to me to pull the impossible together without any help from him ever. Only near the end did he start the pushing and shoving which could have gotten worse, it was verbal abuse and an imbalance of the amount of work and effort that went into making the relationship limp along. I put in almost all and he very little. So I know what you and mom are dealing with.
Same problem for me, I couldn\'t leave because I had 3 kids, and could not earn enough to survive on my own. So I stayed and now regret it due to the affects it had on all my kids. As adults, they now suffer emotional issues of their own they deal with because of who they had for a dad. I think I should have tried harder to get away. However it would have been harder to find someone who would me and all the kids in and provide a room so we could get away. Once the kids were out on their own, I finally left and lived with two families who helped me during the initial year or two. It took swallowing my pride and telling everyone I worked with, any friends i had, that he was an abusive husband and I wanted to get away. Could I live in a spare bedroom or in their basement? I would take almost anything to get away. Some friends far away said I could come live with them so I did. I don\'t know how hard your mom has looked but I can tell you there are no agencys set up to help women in this situation. They can help a little if theres physical abusive, beating that leaves marks but verbal abuse and choosing to not lift a finger and expect the wife to be maid, butler, go-fer, cook, hair cutter, tailor, sex source and whatever else you can think of, these agencys are not set up to deal with that. I had looked and looked. Its a sad situation but unless someone makes their situation known to all and someone takes them in, a woman and her kids are pretty much stuck.A man like your dad will get his due lot in life from his actions or inactions. He will like my ex end up driving his kids away from him, none having any respect or love for him. They may care about him like their care about a neighbor but no deep love....he killed that with how he treated us all. The few occasions they see him, they limit their time visiting cus they find they can\'t take more than 20 30 minutes before they must leave or find themselves robbed of their peace.
The man i speak of began attending counseling for a while. I got a chance to hear the counselors opinion, the mental problems he had I was told are ones that can take a lifetime for a person to change just one little aspect of. To expect a greatly improved man is just not going to happen. Most normal well adjusted people even change very slowly during their life for the better. A Man with his messed up mental ways I was told may never change.
So in answer to what can you do to change him, really....there\'s nothing. Change in a person must come from within. Nothing anyone says or does will cause a person to change unless they want to. And thats why very few counselors have great success with a good majority of their patients. I told you my story so you can see that a situation like this is difficult for all woman to get out of, with or without children, just harder with children. Please understand why mom is with him right now. She needs your love and support instead of blame for your home life. She is as much a victim and hurting as you and your siblings. It\'s precious stuff that you have to grow up without, stuff other friends have and take for granted in how their dads treat the family. It\'s not fair but life isn\'t always fair.
I wish you inner strength to stand strong and not let his actions or inactions, affect your natural sweet personality and change you in any way for the worse, or to rob you of hope for better future someday without him. I would also caution not to consider burning bridges behind you totally either. If 20-30 years from now, the father has a spiritual awakening and comes to his senses and you can tell he is truly repentant and changed, then don\'t reject him, work through your hurt and resentments and take whatever relationship opportunity you are being given, even if it doesnt quite feel like a father daughter relationship because he never really was a dad.
Do Irish last names tell you where you came from in Ireland? If they do, is there a list of names and the places they come from?
Thank you!
I looked for a link to a site that goes over an extensive list of Irish surnames and where or how they originated, but i didn\'t find any. There may be a place, I just didn\'t find it. Perhaps a librarian would be the perfect person to ask being able to point you at a site or reference book that goes over the history of Irish surnames.
I can\'t remember where I found it but I looked up info. regarding last names in the UK and Ireland when writing a book. I read about Patronymics where once upon a time the last name didn\'t remain the same as it does now. Here\'s Wikipedia\'s definition:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patronymic
As far as I call tell Patronymics was practiced once upon a time in Scotland, Ireland, England and Wales. For example, lets say a guys name is Reilly O Shaunessey. His sons last name would be O Reilly, the O meaning son of Reilly. In Wales, the part added on to a fathers first name to indicate your last name was Ap or Ab so if a mans name was Evan Reese, his children would carry a name AbEvan or in later times the AB part was dropped or lets say the B kept to change Evan now to Bevan. In Scotland, the Evan would be MacEvan, for son of Evan. Other ways people got their last names was from their occupation, such as Miller, Tanner, or Wheeler. Or they would be named for the area they came from. When the practice of getting ones surname from a fathers or grandfathers name went out of practice, people used either the last name they already had for their young, or took on names based on the area they came from. The history of names is a fascinating study. Enjoy!
I just had bought a hamster and I'm confused what should be its name. By the way my hamster is boy.
I had a hamster as a kids and named it Rascal and a sibling named theirs Bandit. Bandit stole treats from the other and Rascal became an escape artist.
Hi I'm Liv, 15 and I've met this guy named Barry (going 17) on xbox 360 live. And our friendship started when we started chatting on facebook. We've been chatting for a year and 3 months. We are quite far he is in New York while I'm in Hawaii. I never moved Hawaii since then. We planned to meet but my mom won't allow me. He is very nice guy and I'm inlove with him. I know that he likes me too. What should I do with this? Is it wrong to be inlove with someone you don't even see? And I really want to see him.
Hi Liv,
Since you are 15, this is probably ne of your first loves if not the first. It feels wonderful to have these kinds of feelings for a guy and have a guy showing interest in you this way. But it\'s not even close to what a real dating relationship could be. Razhie is right that if your guy is that interelsted in you, let him come to you and prove to your parents that he is a decent guy by spending time with them, perhaps even relocating to Hawaii and going for a job or college there.
My oldest daughter got into a guy online when she was younger than you 13 if I remember right. The guy had a chance to stop and visit cus his dad and siblings were taking a road trip to visit a relative in our state and his dad said it would be okay to stop and visit us. So while we visited with his dad the kids visited. On another day they stopped by and took her along to the park. Tho dad and brothers were close by, they got a chance to exchange a kiss and hold hands. However, afterward, both of them once having met, found neither of them had any interest in each other anymore. They didn\'t feel as interesting to each other anymore as it felt online. In person can be way different because online is one-dimensional. There is so much missing that your imagination fills in the missing pieces and your imagination can be dreaming things that are not real or true about him. The thing happening here is the same thing that happens when you watch a suspence movie or a sad one that makes you cry, your emotions get sucked into it and the emotions make it feel real even though in the movie, its not real and its just actors. Same thing in a slightly different way with internet.
It could work out if the parents like him and you do too but I want you prepared to understand he may not be the person you think he is, even if nice and you may discover like my daughter after all that time that you arent interested in him afterall.
Hi, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 20. He loves soccer. He's birthday is coming up and I don't know what I should get him
If cost is an issue, perhaps baking him some cookies and decorating with the white hexagon frosting shape and the darker pentagon shapes would make a big impression having the soccer theme and being homemade by your own hands.
If a purchased gift, try the bookstore for interesting books that are soccer teamed, maybe about a famous soccer player. I once found a soccer pendant necklace and key ring for someone. To find specialty items like that, you\'d have to go online looking for soccer themed items but then you\'d need help with mom or someone to order online unless you have a debit card, and depending on how long to the birth date, pay for rush delivery.
Hope this helps.
What should I get her for Mother's Day?
One more idea might be a specific gift card, like for a day at the spa, gift for just a body massage, or a coupon for where she likes getting her hair done, if she\'s into crafting, maybe a gift certificate for spending at Michaels or her favorite craft store. It doesn\'t have to be a wrapped gift. There a few people receiving gift cards to go hog wild spending on exactly what they want at their favorite store. Hopes this gives more ideas to you
Sorry this is so long :)
Ok so around a year ago a mate and I went to a park where we met a boy who's friends with my brother. We made out a bit and he asked me out, but i said it was too soon. We met up a again and made out and stuff. But after after a while we had completely lost touch of each other and went our separate ways, except i still really liked him. For the past year i've liked him so much and i always have dreams about him. Recently my friend and I have being going to the same park after school and he's always there. We hang out with 3 spanish boys and i can tell that my 'crush' always looks over, in jealousy i guess. Yesterday we were there and a group of boys came. they were talking to my 'crush' and he was saying how they "always meet up". My friend and i went to the bathroom and when we came back most people had gone. later on facebook the spanish boys told us that the group of boys had tried to start a fight, and were asking them why they always meet with us...I'm pretty certain that my crush turned his friends again the spanish boys, just because they were hanging out with me and my friend, but what does that mean? if he's that jealous to start a fight then does it mean he has feelings? or is he just doing it because he's annoyed that we're hanging around the place that he hangs?
Thanks for reading! :)
Btw my question is'nt very clear :S I just want to know what it means when he gets jealous and starts a fight with boys because they're with me?
Also i think i still really like him...how would i show him that i'm not interested in the spanish boys?
Sounds to me like there may be things to avoid him for, being racist possibly. A racist person will have definite strong ideas about other areas in life. Some people get angry easily if things don\'t go the way they imagined things should. Well thats life, you can\'t predict what will happen and if he is one of these kinds of people, he will totally lose it emotionally every time something he hasn\'t anticipated happens, even something easy like a change of plans as to what movie to go to cus your\'s is sold out. He may have in his mind already laid claim to you as if you were his girlfriend in a committed relationship. Thats another bad thing, assuming things instead of coming out and asking.
Yes, it might be a sign that he\'s interested in you and why he picked a fight with the other boys.
You may find it romantic and wonderful that a boy is interested in you so strongly. However i want to caution you and explain there are good ways for a guy to show he is interested and there are bad ways. A good way is to talk to you and find out what interests you have and do stuff with you that you like,to be encouraging, support your hopes, dreams, talents, compliment you, etc.
Often we can end up thinking we like someone but thats based mostly on appearance and a chemical reaction, where two people react to the pheremones in another person, why we like some people who have similar pheremones to us and why others we aren\'t attracted to. This doesnt mean that a girl may still be attracted to a guy once she gets to really know him better. There may be some good qualities to him but his reaction already is a warning sign. You may find more bad personality traits than good. Just be careful and talk to your mom or an older person you trust about a boys behavior when around you and ask if its normal, good or bad. There is much to learn when you are young and it will take some time before you can recognize the warning signs to avoid getting involved with the wrong guy.