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should I call the cops on my dad?????
I've done some research on “verbal abuse" and I think me and my brother sister and mother might be suffering from it… you see, my dad calls us names like bitch, asshole, gerk, brat, and my mother hoe, hoar, and other names offensive to a woman, and he threatened all three of my siblings: threatened to “smash" me and my sister (and once lifted a knife and said to me,“it's time" it was supposed to be a joke, but still), and also did the same to my brother. A signifigant thing he did was he threatened to break my sister's leg or arm or some bone. I learned that this threatening is punished, but I'm not sure if I should call the cops, and even if I do I can't get any proof, so what should I do?
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I agree with the advice STNick119 gave you to hide a camera. This type of crime needs proof otherwise it is a you said, he said situation. Now verbal abuse calling you a bastard, hoe, hoar and other derogatory names is not a criminal offence. what is a criminal offence is when the verbal abuse becomes an assault.
Under the law you can be assaulted when you are verbally threatened by someone you believe is capable of caring out that threat. An Example of an Assault in what you wrote is: when your dad said; "I'm going to smash your face," or when he threatened to break your sisters leg."
Your dad committed a far worse crime; it is not a joke to threaten someone with a weapon. It is called Assault with a Deadly Weapon (ADW). This is a felony charge which carries significant jail time.
The problem with any assault charge is believability? The police will probably make an arrest on the ADW charge just for the sake of safety. The prosecutor most likely will take that case to trial. The problem comes in getting a jury to believe you if there are no witnesses or video to prove it happened. The other assault charges are simple assaults in which the police may remove dad at the time to give your mother time to get a Domestic order of Peace; which forces him to stay a certain distance from her and the rest of the family. If the arrest is made it will be a misdemeanor arrest and he will probably be issued a desk appearance citation to appear in district court.
I've explained the different types of assaults and what can happen if you file a complaint with the police. The most serious charge, the one the police must investigate is the ADW charge. If you have a reliable witness such as your mother, then press charges. If you do not and do not have any type of a recording to show or let the police listen to; all you might do is enrage your father more. While you have reason to make the report you do have to consider what will happen in making that report.
Another thing you can do is talk with a trusted teacher or your school principal about your home life and what you have written to us. When a student approaches then with a problem such as this they are required under the law to make a report to social services. Social services will investigate and make any charges if need be to make sure you and your siblings are safe.
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HERE'S WHAT I THINK YOU SHOULD DO. HIDE A CAMERA SOMEWHERE SAFE AND IF THIS EVER HAPPENS AGAIN MAKE SURE IT'S IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA. THEN TAKE IT TO THE POLICE STATION AND JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO THAT FATHER OF YOURS. :) Does his help?
Epiphany730...SHUT THE HELL UP THIS IS A CRIME AND A VERY SERIOUS ONE!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SOMEONE BEING THREATENED!!!!!!!
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First off... Hey Dragonfly???? FUCK YOU,YOU STUPID BASTARD OF A HUMAN....
Hope that's not a punishable offense... especially here on the internet....
Well, anyways.
PLEASE DISREGARD a LARGE MAJORITY of what the last advicenator commented...
Verbal Abuse, as "titled" "Verbal Abuse" IS NOT a crime.
Criminal and Civil offenses like "Communicating Threats", and "Verbal Assaults" causing reasonable fear of harm or injury ARE punishable crimes.
Additionally, when it occurs to you and/or siblings it falls within "Child Abuse". The burden of proof would most likely stand upon all of your testimonies (oral and written) and the longevity of how long this has been occurring in your household. Along with your mother's testimonies as well.
In regards to your Mother, his "verbal assault" can ALSO constitute "Domestic (SPOUSAL) Violence".. that of which means, your in-home abuse(s) to you and your siblings ALSO fall under it.
There are probably at least 10 more chargeable offenses that "label" your dad's actions lawfully offensive (aka "illegal").
You can also use the computer to review your state's criminal statutes/codes.
Now on another note....
Almost every average family know that there are (for lack of a better word) "in-house rules" that discourages certain members of a household from inviting "outside professional services" into one's own "home"....
Additionally, you may not want the possible NEGATIVE repercussions that can inadvertently arise from calling in those services... All of which are "understood".
However, varying upon the severity of your dad's "fits".... you may have to make that decision yourself based on your assessment of the entire "dad's practice routines"...
Another thing to think of is the... "practice" he's getting from his "fits"... Maybe he REQUIRES "professional services" anyways.
It may be a tough situation, but you'll find that your situation is quite common. Hope you get to a reasonable solution.
Now back to Dragonfly.... I apologize to you for my opening statement.
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Verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. Unfortunately there's no law against verbal abuse in the U.S., and the lack of a definition for it that will stand up in a court of law (like the definitions for libel and slander, for example) makes it difficult for professionals or agencies to intervene and offer help.
I know because i left a verbally abusive relationship. It takes lots of good kindhearted friends willing to take mom and kids in and help her out in any way needed until she can get a divorce.
If it is interfering with your ability at school, you might ask the school counselors what they suggest, because you dont want your grades to go down and teachers need to understand whats happening.
If Dad ever throws things or swings a fist with intention to hit but misses, its the same as actually making contact. iTs called assault and battery and you can call police for that.
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