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What should I do?
There's this really nice girl I've known for awhile and we've been good friends for a long time. Now I think I might love her, what should a girl do in this situation.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This is one of those questions that needs more information before it should be answered. Right now I read that you have love for someone of the same sex but you do not explain that love yet you are asking advice as to what to do about it.
Not knowing certain information means we could make the wrong assumptions and give you the wrong advice ruining a good friendship.
What we need to know is your age as well as hers? Is this love one where you some type of sexual attraction or is more of a sisterly type thing? Do you or are you sexually attracted to boys?
If you really read my questions you will see where I'm going with my questions. If you do there is nothing wrong with being that way or both ways, but it does tell me how to answer you IF I assume you are and you are not then I have given you the wrong answer. You can give me this information in a private message that only I can see.
One of the reasons for asking your age is I do not like putting labels on young people's sexuality. It can be counter productive to the advice I give them as well as physically and emotionally harmful to them if the label were to be known by others in school.
This is why I am not answering you question directly. If your willing to answer my questions I will give you as much help as I can in answering your question.
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Strong feelings for someone can easily give us the idea that they are reciprocated. The belief that because you feel so passionately for them, it must make some mark on them, the must feel the same. Intuition can be your best friend but in a way can sometimes be your enemy to some extent. A knock-back is a knock-back, in the boy-girl scene and it doesn't feel nice when you've read the situation wrong. It can be bitterly dissapointing. With a prospective same-sex relationship there's a possibilty that declaring your love for her may leave her feeling horrified. I should say tread very carefully. I assume you want to realise the love you feel for physically? You need some strong signals that she wants to enjoy the relationship on the same level before you say or do anything you might desperately want to un-say immediately. On the other hand, there's no point 'worshipping her from afar' indefinitely, as you might say And wondering if your feelings are/would be returned. A case of make your move, but don't make a move too soon. And be realistic. Get some dialogue on the subject of same-sex relationships going, and listen to her replies, watch her body-language and look at her face. If there are very strong signs that she's not at all comfortable with the subject, be honest with yourself and step-back. You clearly ARE ok with it. It can be easier to discuss some things objectively, rather than subjectively. Meaning start of with a suitably abstract topic of same-sex relationships per se, and carefully personalise it. 'I think they're ok' has to lead to 'I would like one' and finally 'And I want one with you'. It might of course hit a receptive spot straight away. In which case...you've pulled. Enjoy yourselves. Or it might go more slowly (she's partly receptive, curious but by no means sure). Any sign that it isn't going to 'go' at all, abandon it. I do not believe you can change anyones sexual orientation if they're set against it, however much YOU love HER. It's too deep-set. I mean, I'm male and heterosexual. I do not consciously make the effort to be. I do not think about it or wish to change it. I don't question it at all...I just 'am'. There are men I have and do admire. I can appreciate that some men are 'good looking guys' and see why women think they are. But I can't 'fancy' a bloke or want to be physically intimate with him. It's not 'in me' as you might say. She may love and admire you and value your friendship highly. But have no capacity to 'fancy' you and likewise be intimate physically. Hope there's something in there you might work with or find useful. Best wishes.
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Hmm, well you love your mom and any female relatives like aunts, cousins sisters, and its possible to have a deep love like that for a girlfriend. I have had love like that for a girl friend as a young teen with neither of us having any desire to be dating a girl and no sexual attraction to each other. So if your case is that, rest easy, it's quite normal and nothing to be concerned about, there's nothing that has to be done but enjoy your friendship.
If you feel like this love is more of a sexual orientation issue and feeling attracted romantically, you can either not say anything and just enjoy the friendship for now. Wait and see if you feel the same way in a couple years. Or test the waters by asking her if she knows what her sexual orientation is. Find a way to ease into the topic subtley. if she isn't then don't try to pursue anything, it could make her feel awkward and uncomfortable.
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ok so your saying that YOUR a female and that your in love with another female?
ok if this is the cause you might want to make sure she is also lesbian. has she ever said or pointed out to you things she likes about other females or made any hints that she is lesbian also?
Your question is a bit vague so im not quite sure how to answer this, but bottom line your going to want to make sure she is of the same sexual orientation as you so that you have a better chance of not ending up heart broken because shes actually straight or something.
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