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Just found out my boyfriend is on instabang
As well as other meet & fuck websites & zoosk. We've been together over 3 years & I love him so much idk what to do. His family means more to me than my own, & I really can't see him cheating. Do you think it's possible he could be part of these websites without actually going though with it?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The only way you'll find out is if you ask him.
It COULD be that someone is using his picture. Who knows?
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I'm very straightforward when it comes to relationships but this advice all depends on your relationship. You could just ask him be like I found out your on there and I want to know why, that's what I would do. BUT if you're afraid to confront him you can look closer into his profiles and see if there has been any current activity in your relationship, if yes... then you're going to have to say something.
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Just read that Instabang is a scam to get guys to pay to upgrade their acct from free to paid member. He can recieve tons of computer bot generated contacts with stolen pics of females off the net, made up emails that the computer system answers. Problem is, if a guy pays to be able to answer even one lady who contacted him, he is not talking to a real lady. Sounds like 99% of profiles are not real people to begin with. So on that one alone, he'll never be able to meet with a live person. As far as I can tell, Zoosk is only dating, non sex site and although for dating, membership is free. The boyfriend would have to be a paying member to write a female. A free member female cannot write to him but can only answer him. If he was free, unpaid, then he can't write anyone and can only look at profiles and photos and information.
So I'd say, what you have to find out is if he is truly looking to date other girls, or is he only into looking at photos of other women.
More important than that, you say you love him and love his family but there was no mention of whether he loves you. Looking at other women is fine and natural, as long as it doesnt distract from the love the two of you have for each other assuming that love goes both ways. Does he still have time for you, is he aroused by , still desiring you? Does he have time for you, is he there for you emotionally as well. If he can still do that and look at other women there is no problem. He may be using the sites just to look at pics of women. Dating sites are not good bets for finding nude pics if thats what he wants. I dont think some sites even have nude pics available until someone is a paid member.
Are you still concerned about him? You'll need to have a chat and both of you lay out perimeters for the relationship, what you both are comfortable with agreeing to.
If you wish him to never look at or think of another women in a sexual manner, then you'd have to be able to live by that same rule. It means you would have to have such control over your mind that you never take a quick second glance at a handsome man you see out in public, even if sex wasn't on your mind, the sexual attraction was or you wouldn't have looked again, or if a movie love scene has you dreaming that night that Brad Pitt was having his way with you in bed (imagine your favorite actor) You can't prevent yourself any more than he can from never doing that. The reason is, our brains are our greatest sexual organ and sex is just not going to be the best it can be until we utilize it. Men have no problem with that, no phobia's but women are raised to believe they are dirty or slutty if they look at a bare chested man at the beach and it makes em horny. Sex is everywhere you turn, on packaging, advertising, models to sell you ifclothes, perfume, makeup, whatever to make you more desirable. To avoid ever having any sexual thoughts, no matter how brief, you'd have to stop living.
You both need to determine whether you're both on the same page, both want monogamy. Or if relationships outside the marriage is okay. With given permission for both to have outside partners on the side, its okay...as long as both are in agreement. The cheating is if other relationships are done in secret, kept hidden without permission. Good luck dear.
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