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Waste of time I guess
Urm how do I even begin.. Basically me and my ex saw each other again after two years and well I don't know recently we spoke and all and I'm really confused and feel like iv been wasting my time because he said to me that he doesn't want a relationship just to put a tag on something he would rather continue seeing me etc.. But iv been waiting for this guy for almost 3 years like I feel I'm wasting my time it's acc hurts me cause I feel like he ain't taking me serious he just wants a fling,
Honestly I'm 20 next month and I'm at that point where I do not want a fling with someone I feel he's taking advantage of my feelings , basically he said it's all up to me I can choose whether we carry this on or not but I don't want a relationship like if it's going good why do we have to put a name on it.. I'm really confused I love this guy but I don't know if he's taking the piss it's like whenever I'm in London that's when he acc decides to talk to me (I live at uni) but when I come down for quite a while he never makes like plans to see me till recently I feel that he's paying with my emotions since he knows how much I acc like him and I don't know what to do it's such a out off knowing you've waited so long for something and it turns out the person doesn't want a relationship wtf it makes me so mad I don't want force love but when your in love your so blind you don't see behind anything and it's tearing me apart , the worse thing is I don't know how to walk away and say no.. With the way he speaks like saying do whatever you want it's up to you whether this carries on or not makes me realise that he acc doesn't like me the way I do I find that so immature I don't know :( what can I do now
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These situations are just awful.
Obviously, he doesn't want what you want. There could be many reasons why he doesn't want something serious. He might be wanting a fling and also be able to see other people.
Either way, it's not fair to you to stick around. You care about him a lot but he's not returning the feelings.
A lot of guys will say what he said. "If it's going good why do we have to put a name on it". Girls need security. You don't have that with him and you won't end up happy.
So either set the boundaries and tell him that you guys can't talk to each other like that and be physical or romantic and all that because you want it to mean something and you need the security. Or you can just let him go and find a guy who will actually care about you.
I think you should just move on. It will be difficult. It's definitely easier said than done but it's possible and you just need to cut contact and let go. It will hurt but you'll feel so much better when you meet a guy who actually cares and loves you. You can't make this guy love you, you're only in control of yourself so it's probably best to find someone better.
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I can tell from the way this is written you are upset. Being on the outside looking in, which is what we do here, it could appear you're trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
It is quite apparent that you have great feelings for him and may truly love him. It is also apparent that he is not returning those feeling. Why is this? I can think of several reason.
1. He is being immature.
2. Is not interested in long distance relationship.
3. Wants to play the field and knows you will be there if he calls. This by far is the one that should hurt for it is disrespectful to you as he is taking you for granted.
If I was your father I would say to you that there are times in life when you will not always get what you want. As much as you may love him you cannot force him to love you.
There is someone out there for you. Someone who will love you and respect you the way a women should be loved and respected. You are only 20 years old you have quite a few years before you need to settle down or even should consider settling down.
Take the time to enjoy your youth. Enjoy being single and being at Uni. Finish your education first for that is what is important now. If by chance a real true love comes along fine. In the mean time enjoy being a young adult and don't give your heart away so easily.
You are a lovely person that any man would be extremely lucky to have. Make him prove his love before you before you give your heart to him for you are worth all the love he has.
How do I know this. I've been giving advice on this site for a long time. I've learned a lot about telling who and what people are by how they write. You want fulfillment and everything that life has to offer. There is nothing wrong with what you want. I'm just suggesting you slow down a bit and take the time to smell the roses and enjoy the road that will take you to where you want to be.
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