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A crush over internet
Hi I'm Liv, 15 and I've met this guy named Barry (going 17) on xbox 360 live. And our friendship started when we started chatting on facebook. We've been chatting for a year and 3 months. We are quite far he is in New York while I'm in Hawaii. I never moved Hawaii since then. We planned to meet but my mom won't allow me. He is very nice guy and I'm inlove with him. I know that he likes me too. What should I do with this? Is it wrong to be inlove with someone you don't even see? And I really want to see him.
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Yup i have to agree with the other posters here. although my husband is 7 years older than me, and we met when i was 13 and he was newly 21 years old, he came from a good family, had his life together, a job, and car, etc. and came to see ME and my family and kept with traditional early dating rituals, even bringing a member of my family or his with us at first. (maybe its an asian thing idk as we're both pacific islander)
The older "more established" person, should be the one to make the leap and visit the other. you are too young and in some cases (like here in california) it is illegal for a minor to cross state lines without parental consent anyway. Plus if HE came and visited and tried to "take you on a trip" somewhere HE could get arrested for illegally taking a minor across state lines.
If you were to meet with him, DO NOT go alone, have a girlfriend you trust or someone with a car that can chaperon so that incase something happens, they can get help. not that he isnt to be trusted but you have to remember hes still technically a stranger. someone can hide who they are as a person online EASILY. almost anything can be misinterpreted depending on the mood your in or him as well.
good luck.
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It's not uncommon for people to start developing some sort of feelings for someone over the internet.
But like the others said, it wouldn't be smart to go to New York or meet him anywhere by yourself.
I mean it's not even the fact that you're 15. Like Rahzie said, it would be insane if an adult woman flew out to meet a guy she never met in person.
Your safety is priority. If he really likes you, he'd have to come visit you and spend time around your family.
I mean he could be telling the truth about everything. But there are lots of situations where it's not true, so that's why you have to be extra careful.
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Hi Liv,
Since you are 15, this is probably ne of your first loves if not the first. It feels wonderful to have these kinds of feelings for a guy and have a guy showing interest in you this way. But it's not even close to what a real dating relationship could be. Razhie is right that if your guy is that interelsted in you, let him come to you and prove to your parents that he is a decent guy by spending time with them, perhaps even relocating to Hawaii and going for a job or college there.
My oldest daughter got into a guy online when she was younger than you 13 if I remember right. The guy had a chance to stop and visit cus his dad and siblings were taking a road trip to visit a relative in our state and his dad said it would be okay to stop and visit us. So while we visited with his dad the kids visited. On another day they stopped by and took her along to the park. Tho dad and brothers were close by, they got a chance to exchange a kiss and hold hands. However, afterward, both of them once having met, found neither of them had any interest in each other anymore. They didn't feel as interesting to each other anymore as it felt online. In person can be way different because online is one-dimensional. There is so much missing that your imagination fills in the missing pieces and your imagination can be dreaming things that are not real or true about him. The thing happening here is the same thing that happens when you watch a suspence movie or a sad one that makes you cry, your emotions get sucked into it and the emotions make it feel real even though in the movie, its not real and its just actors. Same thing in a slightly different way with internet.
It could work out if the parents like him and you do too but I want you prepared to understand he may not be the person you think he is, even if nice and you may discover like my daughter after all that time that you arent interested in him afterall.
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It's okay to feel what you feel, but your mother is right: Traveling to New York to meet someone you only know online is not a safe or reasonable thing to do. It would be unwise for an adult women to do that, but it's just lunacy for a fifteen year old to consider it.
He's the older one (and, fairly or not, he is the guy) so if he wants to show your parents he's not out to rape and murder you, he needs to come to Hawaii, rent a hotel room, and spend some time around your mother and your family (not with you by yourself) to prove he's not a crazy person.
You have to stay safe. That's more important than anything else. If he cares for your enough to invest the time and money it takes to prove he's not out to harm you, that's great. If he isn't, then you have to let this go.
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You are very young... but no its not you just have to keep in the back of your mind is he really 17? until you see him i wouldnt get to involved i suggest talking on phones and or get a web cam or something so you guys can talk that way and see each other. I was involved with a guy for 5 years long distance for about 3 until i was old enough to move with him but we wernt so far apart and we visited each other during the summer with our parents. Just be careful because until you actually see him and or talk to him and see him you just never know... stay safe love
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