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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Hey everyone, 17 y.o (female)
So I'm stuck between two guys. They're both one year younger. I've seen them both in person a handful of times. They do not know each other.
Guy A: he's very attractive. Has a nice body, nice smile, nice everything. He asked for my number but barely texts me, and when he does, it takes him hours to respond! He calls me once per day, but it's usually after midnight which bothers me a lot. We've talked like 2 times during daylight. Yes, I like late night phone calls but not all the time. Especially when I work, so I have to get up early. He told me his mother knows about me, but I don't really believe him. We have a lot in common, we both study accounting in High School, we're both the youngest in our families and we both are bilingual. I really liked him, up until he started calling at 1 a.m. and texting back after like two hours. He lives about an hour away, he did mention going out sometime but he's never taken initiative.
Guy B: attractive in that stubble-utterly-masculine way. He's so sweet it's crazy. We share opinions on everything and we talk about everything and anything. He has a job, so he understands that sometimes I'm dead tired and need to sleep. He's hilarious, always making me smile. We have this promise that we take turns texting each other because he feels like he's bothering me when he texts and I feel the same way. He recently opened up with me about his family, and it made me realize that he actually feels something towards me. He hasn't mentioned anything about meeting up yet. He lives like half an hour away btw.
It may seem obvious, "go with Guy B", but I do like Guy A as well. I've been friends with both guys for awhile, and it's not like I'm in a rush to get into a relationship. I haven't flirted too much with either of them because I need to get my feelings straight. I just want someone who'll want me in their life, someone who'll just take things slow with me and take initiative sometimes. What do you guys think? I feel like I'm in need of a second opinion.
I wouldn't call it a love triangle yet if neither of them have those kinds of feelings.
My opinion is that A is merely attracted to you, but not putting in the amount of time needed to get to know you better to discover whether he really likes you enough to want to date you.
Attraction, liking enough to become best friends, and love, are all very different things to me.
Guy B is already acting with you like a very close friend. He is considerate of you and how you feel, makes you laugh, and a biggie: he trusts you enough to make himself vulnerable and share things with you that he wouldn't with just anyone. These are all signs of someone who is like a best friend.
A male best friend is a good prospect for a dating, romantic, love relationship, more so than someone who is only at the attraction level with you.
Another thing I share with young people is the purpose behind dating in the first place. If you understood it the way I do, you may have no trouble knowing which guy to go for. So here we go:
At your point in age, the object is not to practice longevity of relationship, sticking together long term even if its not a perfect dating relationship. The object is not to prove to yourself or others that you can stick with someone long term...that comes in later years after you have a clue what kind of guy you want to end up life long with.
Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in the other that would harm you emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up.
Dating is more about learning what you do and don't like in a guys character and the same for him. Its a time of making comparisons. Seeing what is lacking in a current partner that you would like to have, or something that they do, or ways they treat you that are disrespectful or hurtful emotionally or physically as in being abusive or violent. When you come up against things like that, you need to decide if you will settle for less or move on to the next dating partner, hopefully always shooting for someone a step better in some area. Make a list of the qualities you like and remind yourself with another list of the qualities you dont like or must avoid because they are harmful to your well being. Review it and update it often through out the years.
If you do not want to date exclusively one at a time during the attraction level and the exploring if there can be friendship level, then as long as you make that clear with all guys involved that right now you are interested enough to find out if you like them enough to date only them but until you have had a chance to check out a couple other prospects to make your decision, you will not be hanging with them or dating them exclusively. I have done this and read of dating experts who mention this. It actually does make sense. You dont stay in limbo for ever at this stage, but as soon as you've seen enough of each guys character to see how they fit your wish list, only then can you make the best choice.
good luck dear
Growing up as an only child I have always had my weird quirks. I'll admit I have a very weird laugh. Sure, I can act childish, silly, and be naive sometimes. And I can also have blonde moments here and there. But that doesn't mean that I don't know how to be mature in some situations. Deep down I know that I can be a serious, smart and wise person. I also love to help others and give advice of my past experiences. But lately I have been feeling lost as to how I should act. While others may find me amusing and interesting, others may find me too weird or unbearable. My mom keeps telling me that since I'm 18 I should smarten up and act lady like, and that I should change my laugh cause no guy would like me if I didn't. And lately I have been finding myself either embarrassed of what I did afterwards or that a person would find me annoying and make it clear of it. I feel that if I completely tried to change myself and be mature and serious, then I would lose my character. I would lose my identity that sets me apart from other people. I know that life is all about trial and error.. But still. I don't know what to do, what do you think ??
Smart girl!! I like when you said: I feel that if I completely tried to change myself and be mature and serious, then I would lose my character. I would lose my identity that sets me apart from other people.
But to be more to the point, who are you changing for, to make others happy or is the change something that you want to do? Never change who you are to please others. I learned that the hard way with first husband.
As for mom or maybe even others not liking your laugh, oh well, too bad for them. They'll just have to put up with it.
I am like you, no cute delicate laugh. When I laugh, it's loud enough that many others nearby can hear and not only weird laughs, but I have had natural changes to my laugh all my life. And it always changes to something again uncommon, unique, weird. If you choose to TRy to change your laugh, you will come across as fake, not really finding something funny, that you are just pretending cus a laugh you have to "act" like a role in a play is just that, an act, not your real self and when you are not your real self, you come across as fake.
Enjoy your own laugh. If you're anything like me, every couple of years, your laugh will change, and then change again on its own. I never put any thought to it, I never plan or decide or attemp practicing a different laugh, it just happens. If yours doesnt change, be proud of it.
Just to give you a laugh, I used to know a grown woman who when she laughed sounded exactly like guinea pigs, specifically the excited "Whee, Whee whee," sounds they make when they think you are about to feed them. If you dont' know what that sounds like try to find a clip on the web. Cus once you know the sound it makes this funnier. She was a very quiet shy person so talked little and softly. A bunch of couples had traveled to another city to take in a Christian convention together. On our spare time we all boarded the light rail and her husband and one of the other guys tried to get her to laugh which she did. The more she laughed, the more we began to laugh. No one had to say anything funny any more because her laugh was enough to keep things going. There wasnt a single stranger in the car we were in who could keep a straight face. Eventually, every person in the car was laughing at her laugh. With all the laughing going on, we discovered two other strangers on the rail car that had their own funny laughs and on it went for 15 mins or so. I will never forget that event. It was sooo fun. Good luck dear.
I used to
13/f. Right okay so how do I say this. I'm with a guy I really like and he likes me. We have agreed that when and if we break up we won't let it affect our friendship. One slight problem. He doesn't openly tell his feelings. Obviously not a problem some people don't but he says he'd kiss me and I've said I'd kiss him come the time and I don't want to rush him. However now I think he thinks I don't want to kiss him. I love him so much and his name is my favourite and he is sweet and genuine. Please help me!
So the real issue here is neither of you wants to "rush a kiss"? I don't think I've ever heard of that, of there being a time that is too soon to kiss.
Well, maybe if you walked up to a cute strange guy at the mall you saw and just kissed him...THAT would be too soon. Some people will meet for the first time, either a planned meeting/date or their paths crossed and spend the next handful of hours, or a whole afternoon or day together and at the end, you know if there is chemistry or not. What I mean is you either are drawn to want to kiss the person or they remind you of a kid brother or male cousin, someone you are not attracted to that way.
If there is attraction anytime after the first time you meet, I see no reason why you can not kiss each other.
At least you;ll know if you were mostly imagining it to be great, but it was all in your head, or it really is great.
Hint, if its the first kiss and you're scared to make a move, the way to get past that is to not put any thought into it. the longer you hesitate acting on it, the more you will grow scared each time you feel the desire to kiss. Don't overthink. If the mood hits, kiss him.
Hi! I'm 13, do u think it would be Appropriate for me to get a rabbit vibrator like the one with the rabbit head for clit and the dildo moves around. Should I ask my mom for one or am I too young? Please help!!
I can't say that there is an actual age that is too young because all females are different and go thru puberty at different times.
If you are having sexual urges at your age, then no, its not to young to use sexual toys.
But it is too young to be getting pregnant. Therefore toys are a much better option over finding a boyfriend to take care of the urges and desires.
You are only too young to purchase one yourself, so you will need mom to help out with that.
There are many toys out there. Most are battery powered and some can get quite expensive. For your first one, don;t settle for cheap cus even in sex toys, you get what you pay for. But then again, I have found many different ones to just be plain old poor design and they fail to make me happy. But I see nothing wrong with the rabbit. Focusing on something that will stimulate the clitoris is a very good idea with a secondary part that can be the dildo. There should be some sample toys with battery inside sitting on a display to turn on and see how much power goes to the internal parts to make it vibrate. And you can feel that with your hand. So if not sure, you or mom can always ask a clerk to put a battery in a model you're interested in and see how it feels in your hand. Make sure there are several different power settings, low, med. and high. ANd also option to run only the rabbit, only the dildo or both parts at once.
Good luck.
Dear Sir,
your suggestion are really helpful .I only want to know that she will not become pregnant .I have used condum during sex.my girfriend just want to confirm
that urination and itching will not cause pregnancy.
we both are feared as my friend also told me it does not cause pregnancy.i just want to sure from your side.
thanks
Abhishek
Itching and urination does not cause pregnancy and it is not a symptom of pregnancy either.
If you are so fearful, perhaps it is due to not knowing very much about sex and everything that goes with it. If you are living in a country that has a taboo against reading and learning about sex, there's nothing you can do to remedy that. But if you are living in the U.S. or Canada for example, you should have internet access to all sorts of information on the subject. Just an idea to spend the time doing so if you can.
My mother was diagnosed with depression,bipolar,diabetes,high blood pressure,anxiety,some memory loss,degenerating disc in her back and a whole lot more.
Theres only me and my 22 year old sister to take care of her (dad left when I was 18).But the problem is Mother is a very bad mental abuser and some what physical only to me.
My mother was one of those parents that hovered over their children during their whole life.I'm 20 now and I'm basically stuck with her.
I have a very bad case of social anxiety,because when I started school I was pulled out of normal classes and put in "special classes".which at the time the school never had any little kids with a reading/learning comprehension problem.They only had teens and I was at the time 4 years old.Then to add to the problem my mother was always there and,I was very very shy.So she'd be like the parent of the class and bring stuff and,kids only liked me because of my mom.
Now I never noticed this was wrong until I got older.I had finally convinced my mom to stop when I hit middle school,but then I just couldn't make friends.My mom scared the crap out of me to never do anything "bad" at school,so I avoided the problem kids.I tried to make friends but the awkwardness would always be there,because I didn't know how to act or what to say.
At home my mother and father fought a lot and,then in my teens mom started the mental abuse.She'd say stuff to get me down and self conscious about my self (I am fat).When I was 17 and I started yelling back at her,because I was tired of it she'd just start hitting me.But then the next day or so she'd say she was sorry and never meant it,but say it was kind of my fault for "butting heads" with her.
My sister is the "favorite" child,she can never do wrong.She gets anything she asks for,even when we can't afford it.She will stay out of fights,unless mom drags her in.Then she will only take moms side no matter what.My dad was overseas alot,but when home never paid any attention to us.
When our dad left he took everything of value and,then left us in a hotel.My mother has gotten worse with the mental abuse and,always blaming me for everything that goes wrong.
I'm kind of stuck you see,I have no friends to turn to or family.My mother never wanted me to have a job,because she didn't want us to end up like she did.She had to work 2 jobs while she had us and,dad was in the navy overseas.Her childhood she had to work early to support her family cause they were poor.
I do have a part time job as of age 19,because mom changed her mind and started screaming at me to get a job.But my job pays very little and,I work all day.Its hard to find a job in Florida without a college degree.I wanted a job when I was 16,but mom kept me from having one with threats of kicking me out.I was scared to be alone since I always had someone from the family with me.Mother would always follow through with her threats too.
Now where to the point where shes kicking me out as of August 1st.She plans to take my sister and her self to grandma's,she said i'm not allowed to come.I know she will lie to grandma and say its all my fault.
I'm scared of being alone with no where to go.I know I will lose everything I have once I'm out of the hotel.The only person I can think of turning to is my dad,but he remarried and has a child there.He never calls us or anything,so I don't know if I could go to him.
My social problem thing is big,I just have this fear of talk talking to strangers.Like I can't just go up to a Wendys register and order a hamburger,it takes me time to build up the courage to do it.I mean I want to but my mind starts racing and,I think like what if what I order too much.Then that person thinks badly of me.Like they may think "no wonder shes so fat".I can't even do that at walmart,you know just go buy something and pay for it.
It takes me time to get to that register and just buy it.I think my boss might of felt sorry for me,thats why I got the job.I can't keep eye contact with people very long,i have to like force myself to do it.
Any advice on how to handle my mother and get rid of this fear?Also where should I go?I barely make $150 a week at my job.
The fact that she is kicking you out (of a hotel?) is a good thing. You don't even have a real home, and You do not need to be around her any longer or your life will continue to spiral downward.
There is great chance to becoming as emotionally and mentally messed up as her because thats all you see 24/7. And some of what you shared had me believing that your sister and you in your own different ways are already disfunctional because of having grown up with her. Now that you're an adult, you need to get away from her. Thats easier said than done.
You have been the victim of verbal and physical abuse from her. Victims of such treatment often lose any self confidence. So whatever you are battling could be a combo of that with a social anxiety disorder. But both situations and more that you've gone through with mom, are all things
needing intervention from a mental health professional.
If Obama care is free, get on it for yourself and see a doctor to get recommended to begin seeing a specialist, a mental health counselor for the issues you are dealing with.
As for advice on agencies to get immediate shelter, I am hoping other advicegivers have some actual agencies they can provide you with to contact regarding your welfare, food and shelter and such. You can start with looking for the Department of Social and Health services in your area. Food stamps are easy to get on especially if your income is low. As for shelter, I do not know. If you don't have girlfriends you can ask to stay with, or any mentally healthy aunts or uncles or cousins you can ask to stay with, then perhaps the local church may have some idea?
I do have a way I got over extreme shyness...not sure it was an actual anxiety disorder but I can share that with you, the recipe of steps to getting over it. If not interested, don't read on.
Otherwise, here it is:
I used to be so shy I wouldn't get up to use the pencil sharpener in grade school because I didn't want the other kids to stare at me. I refused to do book reports for fear of speaking in front of the class. So my grades would suffer. In contrast, my dad was a very friendly extroverted person and always bringing home new friends he had made. Us kids liked it cus these “uncles” would bring candy for us and many had accents from around the world with lots of interesting stories too.
It took until I was about 16 before I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy. I didn't have the guts to just switch behavior and start talking. Strange how I never thought to talk to my dad about that and get help from him. So I prayed and asked God for help (He knows each of us better than anyone )
and here's the answers I got. It sure helped me and I know it will help you. You can skip any steps you already have mastered.
None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there For this exercise, you will have to drop the teaching, “Never talk to strangers”. Just use common sense and talk to people in public places where other people are around and don't go off alone with anyone. So here's your lesson.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack and ask what she thinks of it for me.
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people.
This should help you some. Its no substitute for professional help though so if this doesnt work for you or help, go see a mental health professional.
I have a huge question I'm a married man and I wanna know something is possibille to have sex in the ass then to go strait to the vagina without a girl getting any type of infection and how can I do this without her getting infection?
I have had occasion to view some porn video's in my life. One of the grossest and most misleading ones is the act of a man putting his penis in the anus and then switching quickly to the vagina for a while and back to anus and back and forth many times.
Unless the actress was willing to get very sick with terrible infections in the vagina and the urethra and bladder, then what was viewed was camera trickery. When they cut from one view to showing him going from anus to vagina, there had to be a gap of time where they made him go wash up really well while she waited and then insert into the vagina. There's no problem with going from the vagina to the ass but certainly not back again to the vagina. The fecal germs may be on the penis in liquid matter and not be any obvious poop on the penis, just a wet penis but that wetness will contain germs that will cause an infection. As a female I can tell you that no matter how hard a woman wipes correctly when using the potty, during her lifetime, she is going to get infections, bladder and vaginal ones. It's inevitable because of the proximity of these openings to each other. Theres very little distance between anus and vagina and even less between vagina and urethra (pee hole). The times I have gotten infections most often is when I had watery diarrhea (sorry to have to be so graphic with all this but no way to really get the lesson across otherwise) The water dripping out of anus will run along the body with gravity in a down ward direction towards . . . you guessed it...the vagina or pee hole. Thats why women are taught to only wipe from front to back, never the other way and never reuse a tissue that just completed a wipe all the way and use the same tissue to start again at the front. These hygiene practices are important to avoid getting infections. But as I said, some of the liquid containing fecal matter may get missed in the wiping and thats how I've gotten my infections.
So there is no way to do this without a man's wife or girlfriend getting an infection. You should never do this. If you already have, the female should go see her gynecologist for an exam to check for infection to catch it early and get meds. If someone tells you they have done it and had no problems, they are pulling your leg, or lying or never put two and two together when their lady got an infection right after.
This guy I know doesn't believe in fate or destiny. HE thinks that it's unlikely that he will find the perfect girl for him. I believe the opposite. I think that everything happens for a reason and that everyone gets a chance to find the love of their life. I don't know if its me that's too optimistic or him that's too pessimistic. Am I just being stupid and childish for thinking this way? If not how do I convince him otherwise?
There isn't a way to convince someone else what to believe.
I myself have read lots about soul mates, twin souls and such. And yes I believe also in fate or destiny. The reason I believe in fate and destiny is probably because I believe in reincarnation. I believe that before each lifetime, each soul reviews what they want to experience next or perhaps learn next and get a couple different lives to choose from. Once here, we forget making that choice before, but on the important key people we are supposed to meet, there are key phrases or events that are supposed bring up a feeling of this is the one or sometimes i believe the feeling of deja vue, of having seen or experienced something before when all it was is key points throughout a lifetime you decided upon that you viewed ahead of time.
The only thing that can mess up things a bit is the fact that every one has a free will and may decide to dig in their heels and not take the path they were meant to and their whole lives go by and nothing their soul was meant to learn ever happens. But thats okay, they can try again in the next life. If fate and destiny is real, it doesnt require a person believing in it first for it to happen to them. I don't have to believe that oxygen is real to breath it, I will have a close relationship with oxygen until the day my body dies and I take my last breath of oxygen.
May I guess that its so important to you for this particular guy to believe because you feel perhaps he is part of your destiny? If so, keep in mind that some people come into our lives for a reason,, just one reason, when its done, they leave, some come into our lives for a season which can be a period of months or years until what was to be experienced or learned is done. And some people come into our lives for a lifetime...those are souls who can best assist each other with learning things that they may be on very similar paths to learn. And I think that these are the ones we feel are soul mates.
I can not say that anyone is stupid or childish for believing in any one thing. You see, its really just a different path for all souls to eventually come to the same place, of being pure and ready enough to remain in the presence of thier creator for eternity. Not all souls are at the same point of knowledge, some are more mature, and others are young souls struggling to learn and thats way there are what we would call bad people on the planet. Killing, stealing, etc.
If his path is too different than yours, he may not be a soul mate.
If you'd care to hear details of a story of fate, someone I knew personally, let me know, i'd be glad to share. It involves a man who the fact he had a second narrow escape from death, that caught my attention and made me believe that fate is for real. Its a perfect example of what I call fate...something that was meant to happen,not necessarily to him..not because he was a bad guy who deserved it or was stupid or careless, but sometimes, the bad stuff will happen in one way or the other because of someone else in one persons life, to experience to loss of the other.
Blessings!
I'm 21/f and he is 24/m
We have been together for 3 months. Well, for the first time in years, I was finally happy. I was with a man i never argued with, and someone who seemed they appreciated me. Well Sunday, July 20th- I heard from his cousin he was talking to his ex before me. I asked the ex, she confirmed. When I confronted him, he lied about it but soon confessed and said that he may have gave her reasons to think he wanted her back, blah blah blah, but that he didn't mean it and only spoke to her because he thought he was going to lose me although I gave him no reason to think so. He promised me he wouldn't talk to her, but I wasn't fooled. Three days after, things were good. He wasn't talking to her. Well Thursday was the last day i have seen him. Friday he was acting very weird. Very distant, not texting the same. Taking hours to text me back. But yet was in the phone with his ex till midnight.. Wouldn't answer his phone calls. Well he continued to act weird so i straight out said "if this isn't what you want anymore, just tell me and I'll back off. I just want you happy" and his reply was "I do want this baby. You make me happy" Today he told me I'd get to see him and about 15 minuted before i was to go get him, he said "I can't stop throwing up. I'm so sick". Something to me wasn't right. I asked his cousin and she said he didn't throw up at all and that he just left the house walking and no one knew where he went. His mom thought he was with me and wasn't. That was at 5 that evening. I texted him multiple times and he received the texts but never read them.. (We have att iPhones) well my friend texted him around 10 that night and my "bf" replied back quickly. But yet my messages were never read.
Well a friend of ours made a status about honesty and I commented taking about liars, and my "bf" liked my comment but had yet to reply to my messages. I told him I was done and couldn't do this anymore and NOTHING.
I'm just confused. Idk what happened. Everything was great until I confronted him about his ex last Sunday. And I've made sure not to do anything to push him away. I'm just more hurt trying it figure out what happened then us being done.
Any ideas?? Any tips??
He said I was everything he's ever wanted. That he was in love with me and wanted to carry a long lasting journey together. We never fought. Spent every day together which was his idea; and always laughed and affectionate. Luckily we were never sexually active with one another.
Please help!
People can say just about anything to another and can even learn how to lie to themselves and trick themselves into believing something.
Beside's speaking these following words: that he loves you and you're everything he's ever wanted. That he was in love with you and wanted to carry a long lasting journey together, what did you see in his actions that backed that up. It is in a person's actions, how they consistantly treat another that you can know whether to believe them or not. From the little you've shared here, it sounds like you can not trust him to be a man of his word. That his words mean nothing.
When two people meet, its common to be on ones best behavior to catch their interest. Hiding all ones faults and such behind a mask of falsehood.
Once a person thinks they have caught the other person, they begin to relax and let the mask slip, because it takes a lot of personal energy to maintain a false persona. Eventually everyone lets their true self show. It doesnt take long, for many its after the 3rd date, after a handful of months and rare that someone can fool someone and not show their real self until almost a year later. Either your guy was like this before you dated and due to rose colored glasses of love and new relationship energy, you just didnt notice it, OR he was acting one way for you and being his real self when not with you and you finally saw it.
No, there is nothing you have done or done wrong to cause this behavior in him or the relationship. That was always there in him. Perhaps he hasn't figured out what he wants yet and likes enough different things about a few different girls, but unless both parties believe in polygamy or polyamory, it is not going to work. Polyamory is both the male and female having multiple partners they are in love with, polygamy is one man with many wives but the wives can't have other men.
You mentioned you never had sex. Is it possible he was trying to win your heart and trust so that you Would feel comfortable eventually having sex with him when its all a game to him and he is not currently interested in any love relationships?
Certainly, cut it off with him if you haven't truly made a clean break. Learn from this experience. Thats what dating is about, not instant love and devotion with the first one or two. Make a list of what things you did like, what you do not like and make sure to avoid the dislikes as soon as you see them in the next guy. Do not rationlize or give the next guy a second chance. You know what the bad behavior looks like and sounds like. I left a verbally abusive ex. When dating, it took til the 3rd date with one guy I was really liking for his mask to fall. He said he place was a mess/it wasn't, and began to blame the maid he hires weekly to clean but the verbal assault he gave about her told me, he was just like my ex. Did he verbally abuse me in that situation? No. But he was doing it concerning someone else. When a person has a bad habit, they are not selective who they do it to and who they don't. You can't be the only one he never treats that way...its only a matter of time. And so I knew if I hung around long enough, I would eventually see him treat me like that. I split up with him that day. Know what you really want, and if a guy doesn't match that, don't settle for less. You have to meet and sort thru a lot of toads before you find your prince dear. I found that out in dating before I met my 2nd husband. I had just about given up ever finding a good man who I also had the chase, until he has a string of girls hethings in common, beliefs in common, etc. So trust and believe that the right guy is out there somewhere, it can just be a long road to find him. Dont give up, and dont give this old boyfriend another thought.
so I need advice about my boyfriend. He's 21m and I'm 19f. We both have been dating for two years. I love him and like who he is but I have a problem. I don't really think he takes me seriously when I told him to wait on have sex. He's nice and acts like he'll wait but when all of a sudden something seems sexual in the conversation he make it into one not intended to be one and says he was joking about it. He knows that I still get embarrassed about sexual stuff he says to me. Another thing he gets confused about things easily. He irritates me but I keep it to myself because I have no friends sometimes and he proves he's there for me. I feel like I always have to guide him because he doesn't have any idea on how to do many things, I like being there to help him but he has to have mind of his own right?. I feel bad talking like that about him he's nice but his actions speak louder. I need any advice I can get thanks!
At your ages, and after 2 years of dating, it is quite natural for a young couple to become sexual together. I find nothing odd or wrong about him desiring to have sex with you and hinting at it often. Most couples who meet and date don't wait that long to have sex so there must be a reason you don't want to.
I can only think of two. One being that you come from a religious upbringing that believes sex must wait until marriage and you plan to wait until marriage for sex. If this is the case and this boy is unaware of your beliefs, you better let him know so he can decide if you're the one he is going to marry someday or whether you two need to part ways. His hinting at and bringing up the topic and your attempts to avoid the topic means you're just spinning wheels, going no where in the relationship.
The second reason for not wanting to become sexual is due to extreme fears of the unknown. A person becoming a sexual creature is a new area, not yet explored. And most fears can't be shaken unless a person attains knowledge. With becoming informed, reading all one can about the physiology of both male and female bodies and how orgasms are reached, the wonders of how an egg and sperm unite and the whole process from conception to birth...there is so much knowledge to be had. Once you know, there shouldn't be any fear. A problem with lack of knowledge these days is due to no sex education in schools anymore or a very poor version of it.
Unless you want to grow to be an old maid and die one day with never having married and having kids, you will have to get over your fears and learn to enjoy sex. It can be enjoyed if with the right person, Otherwise, without chemistry there will be no desire to want to have sex or become sexual with someone.
So if you have no desire to have sex with him, why are you with him...you need to ask yourself that. A great fear over having sex, should be able to be faced If you have complete trust in the man you're with and have great love and also have chemistry with him. You should be able to tell that from kissing him.
One last thing: A guy who brings up sex alot, if he was wanting to get into a girls pants only and didn't care about her, he certainly wouldn't wait around for two years to get his jollies. He'd be long gone. So he must seriously be into you as a person to hang around. Two people can be sexually incompatible having different libidos. One very low and one very high. ONe wants sex often, the other can get by with very little and prefers that. A relationship or marriage like that won't last because at some point frustration builds for one or both due to non compatibility in that area and they split up. So you have some serious thinking to do and introspective looking at whats going on inside you.
Your other concern is him being 'confused' often? I cant begin to guess what that is about. Is he on Dr prescribed prescriptions where he may be getting too much or ones that conflict each other causing his mind to be muddled a lot? Thats one explanation and would require going to see a Dr. telling him whats wrong and getting medications looked at and changed. There could be dozens or reasons. You didn't give a scenerio/situation with details as to what is happening when you witness this confusion. I know someone who acts confused and he is A.D.D. I can tell you one thing though, keeping your frustrations bottled up and hidden are not the answer. Bring up your concerns with him as to what you are seeing. If you love him, and it is something that can be fixed by a doctor, wouldn't you want to see that happen?
how do i date a 13 year old asian girl
If you are a 13 yr old boy, not a male over 18, then you have to get into conversation with a girl first before you ask her out to date. I am sure it works the same no matter what ethnic background she comes from. A female Responds more favorably to a guy if asking her out isnt the first thing he says.
So the trick is to know how to start conversation with a female.
If she is with friends, listen in on the topics of their conversation but don't make it obvious if you are not part of their group. Wait until there is a topic you can add information on and approach and say, Sorry, but I overheard you wondering about . . ., or mentioning . . ." and then have your say and eventually ask if you may join them. Or if she's by herself, someone you know from a class, then approach her asking her for her opinion on the one thing you know you share, the class. Examples: "So what did you think of teacher Anderson when she said . . . or how did you do on that really big pop quiz in History yesterday. If its your favorite subject or not, make a mention of that, and ask what her favorite class is. Once you have conversation started, make sure to keep asking her things about herself in ways that are natural and don't sound like you are interrogating her.
Later in conversation, you can ask if she has a boyfriend. If not, tell her you enjoyed talking with her, pay a compliment ( obviously you're attracted to how she looks or you wouldnt be talking to her so make it a compliment on something of her character) I admire you for how studious you are. You make it seem easy. pr... I like your type of sense of humor, how you can be silly and not feel self conscious doing so. or You have great artistic talent, I admire that cus I seem to be lacking in that area. Hopefully this gives you some ideas how to get convo going. Then you say that you'd like to have time to chat again more with her. Would she like to get together with you on such day at such place after school? If she does, then once you see her at that pre arranged meeting, tell her again how much you enjoy your time with her and then ask if she'd like to date. This way is not awkward, it is natural and girls respond better this way.
Good luck.
Hi my right side hurts when I masturbate. I noticed it hurt yesterday when I went to masturbate, I masturbate with a 4inch marker and my electric tooth brush. When I stick the marker about 3 1/2 inches in my vagina my right side starts to hurt. I pounded my pussy a couple days ago is that why its hurting? Do u have any Suggestions that will keep it from not hurting? Or can I take a pill or something? Or is it because I pounded my vagina too hard? Please help!
If you are right handed and use that hand when masturbating, you are using certain muscles in a repetitive motion and depending on what muscles are being used, and if due to the intensity of what you are feeling you can tense up a lot more than just the vagina. It can the hand and arm doing the masturbating, I've had muscles cramp and hurt in my upper arm or in my leg so bad that I have to stop and massage the cramp out of my muscle or hubby does. And it doesn't matter if its me masturbating or him using a toy on me.
At the very back of your vagina is a nob like thing that feels like the end of your nose. Reach in and feel that, that is your cervix. When you are using any thing as a toy and do so very hard, either you are sometimes pounding on the cervix which can become tender or sore and might even bleed a drop of blood or two but it always recovers. Or if the object goes to a pocket of flesh to either side of the cervix, I know from experience that can hurt, especially if you hit a certain nerve ending , I experienced something like banging your elbow, that hitting the funny bone feeling, but more painful like a strong charlie horse cramp or electric shock going down my leg. I suppose everyone can be a little different in how that effects them.
The same things can happen with a live penis instead of a toy.
There is no pill to take to prevent it hurting. However using objects that are not actual dildo's with shapes other than that of the tip of a penis could be contributing to your problem. If you are too young to purchase your own dildo, perhaps it may be best to get over the embarassment and ask mom to help you get one. Short of that, I cant think of anything to avoid what you are feeling other than going a bit more lightly on yourself.
i was 16 that time and i was fingered for the first time with my lobg time boyfriend. when he fingered me i didn't bleed until the next day he do it again no bleeding happen again .. my question is am i still virgin? right now im 17 and i never try even just once a sex.
It all depends on how you define the word "virgin".
Have you ever heard of a forest referred to as "a virgin forest" ?? It means a forest untouched by mankind yet.
It can also mean that you are new to something like going out bowling for the first time with others who have done it before and you could call yourself a virgin bowler.
Most people think virgin means that someone has not had penis in vagina sex. That once you do, you are no longer a virgin. If that were so, then at what point are two gay guys or two lesbians no longer a virgin? Two penis'es or two vagina's can't have penis in vagina sex.
A person's sexual experience can be a variety of things that occur over time or all in one setting. There's also fingering, oral sex, hand jobs, etc.
When you go to a buffet/smorgasbord type restaurant, do you put a serving of everything on your plate to eat for dinner? A few people do but most people only choose what sounds interesting or something that they like from the buffet line. Its the same with sex, it doesnt have to include everything the first time you sample something from the 'sexual menu'. You only had fingering. I would say according to my interpretation, that is something off the sexual buffet line and therefore you are no longer a virgin. But really its for you to decide to label it what you want.
If your question is more about bleeding and your hymen,
then I will share that a hymen can be stretched by using your fingers, using a tampon or using a dildo. Sometimes, instead of stretching there is some minor tearing and that is normal too. There shouldn't be any pain. If there is, let me know and I have something else for you to check on if thats so. Otherwise, its a good idea to purchase a personal lubricant like KY jelly or another brand for any fingering done to lesson the amount of friction that can pull at and tear skin.
It can happen with couples who've been sexually active for decades too. A females fluid if she gushes, or ejaculates like a male does with orgasm is much more watery than the early lubrication juices she creates when first aroused and these fluids can wash away the thicker personal wetness or any lubes used and at some point either the man feels the friction pulling at the skin of his penis or the female feels a pulling, grabbing sensation at the entrance to or in the vagina and this comes right before a tear if one doesnt stop to apply more lube. Don't worry about any blood, just make sure to use lube.
15, female.
This guy and I are considered 'a thing', at the beginning of our thing, I made it clear I wanted a relationship. He wanted to wait a bit, until we were ready to be a couple. We have become really close, his family are like my second family but I have waited nearly 7 months now..I confronted him about my dislike for the situation as it has been 7 months and we aren't dating.. He said he had nothing to say about it. At the end of the school day, he didn't even bother saying goodbye to me, when we always do. He avoided me that night. Then today I sent him a message, telling him that I was upset by the way he treated me. He replied saying something along the lines of 'You are desperate, I don't want a relationship'. well maybe if he just said that at the beginning and didn't lead me on and tell me he loved me all time then that would be fine, but no. Its like we have broken up when we weren't even dating.. What should i do?! Ignore him? Talk to him on monday, sort things out? Or am i the one in the wrong?
Just because friends and classmates 'consider the two of you a "thing"..' does not mean you are a couple dating. If you made it clear that you wanted a relationship, did you clarify for him with examples as to what you meant by the word 'relationship?"
There are all sorts of relationships in the world, a mother-daughter relationship, best friend relationship, customer-vendor relationship, boss-employee relationship, committed dating relationship, etc...
He may have acknowledged what you said, and interpreted what you said to mean that the two of you are good friends. He didn't want the romance dating thing and just assumed he understood what you said. You assumed he understood what you meant. Men and women don't always interpret what the other is thinking, saying and doing correctly. It is worth the extra effort to never assume in any kind of relationship, even with your boss, that you understood correctly what he/she wanted you to do.
If he is not talking to you and avoiding you now, its with good reason, for what more can he say. A guy will avoid the girl when she doesnt 'get it'.
When he said he loved you...if he said those words, he meant something much less strong than you were thinking. How often do you use the word "Love" to describe something you like and prefer over other things, for instance "I love rocky road icecream, I love doing Kareoke, I love my moms sense of humor, and so on.
The love he was talking of could simply be seeing things about you he admired or liked alot. But that does not equal 'being in love' with someone. He is wise to not want to have a romantic relationship until he is sure and the way to do that is to hang with friends of the opposite sex, one at a time or several, and discover what you do and dont like in personality traits. Having an idea of what the perfect person will be for you someday to end up in a long term relationship with or married too is very helpful.
When he said you are desperate...well thats one thing that turns a guy off about a girl if she comes across that way. You cant decide what guy you are going after, tell him you want a relationship with him and try to make him fall in love with you. It doesnt work that way. Then to tell a guy that you are upset or frustrated with him that he doesnt see things the same way as you? Thats like knocking your head on a brick wall dear. Too many people force a relationship to get to a point that they want and end up in loveless marriages with one or both partners cheating on each other or abusing each other. Don't force anything. This means, if you want a romantic relationship right off the bat, then go for it, but not with guy who doesnt. You have to look for someone else who is looking for the same situation you are looking for.
Hello there,its love choice girl again
If you are reading this,you all have the understanding that I fell in love with a man who isnt in my beliefs.My mother believes that by me seeing this man,who loves me so much,I am giving up God.I understand that he doesnt,and I am unsure where his beliefs stand,he is worldly,but his heart is so good and we are so close.
My mom is furious over the fact that he cant see me and just wont have it.She so angry at me,and I feel I have no choice,but to say goodbye to my sweetheart and continue on with my life,without him.I told my mother I would break it off,but she was still upset.I havent said anything to my sweetheart at all.
I,I dont want to.
Im so heartbroken,and I feel like my heart is bleeding to death.
My mom keeps saying shame on me,shame on me,because I have done evil,its not that way,I love God more than anything,and I love this man.'Please,please
Please,what do I do? Please help me
So what you are afraid of is being disowned.
For a quick reminder with examples of what it means to disown someone, check out this dictionary link:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/disown
Unless mom has actually said she is going to disown you, that may not happen.
You have only said, "My Mom believes . . . and My Mom says . . .
What she says and what she believes is something that pertains only to her.
Each person is accountable to their self. Whatever your mom has to learn and experience as a soul in this life is not meant to be the exact blueprint of what you are supposed to learn and experience in this life.
If you could know what God knows about what the plan is for your life, then you would know if what Mom wants you to do, and obeying her wishes would take you on a path where you may not being experiencing what you uniquely as a soul need to experience. You can put such things off, trying to avoid them and living your life for Mom, not for yourself. But one day she will die, and you will be much older, having avoided the path God had for you for a good chunk of your life and whatever it is you are meant to learn and experience will come into your life then later in life, like when you are over fifty.
Perhaps the lesson to learn is something as simple as knowing what it is like to have family reject you because you are going against their wishes. Something like Jesus felt at one point when he cried out, Father why have you forsaken me? Life isn't meant to be easy. The unique lessons we personally need to learn are hard, tough, something we would rather run from than go through the experience. This is where you are at. Jesus knew he was going to have to go through the ordeal of being crucified. I don't blame him for not wanting to go through with it. But he did and it was during that time he felt like he was all alone in his experience.
You simply need to decide if you are willing to face the hard parts of life which may include mom giving you the cold shoulder for a while. Or unless she is one to hold grudges for a long time, maybe this is one more opportunity God is allowing her to learn how to not hold grudges, and also how to not judge others and condemn and try to coerce others through shame as Mom seems to be doing. She knows she is losing the battle and is resorting to hitting below the belt where it will really hurt you, using shame, using her words like darts as last ditch effort to get you to do her wishes. You need to have a very close talking relationship with God to know if what you are wishing to do is the path you are meant to take. Start asking God. Ask him to bring confirmation to you through other believers who are able to hear from Him really well. But start now yourself. It doesnt work like magic the first time you ask. But God isn't going to volunteer the information either...you need to start talking with HIm, share what you are feeling, and ask Him whether doing as Your Mom wishes, or following your heart is going to best teach you what you are meant to learn as a soul.
You are at a point where there is nothing more any advice giver can say to ease the burden you are carrying. You have a decision to make and the only way you'll be able to handle the consequences better, is knowing that God told you to take this particular path. I do not know you or what Gods path for you is. That is for you to find out directly from Him. Mom was in charge when you were growing up. Now you're an adult and if it comes to obeying God or obeying Mom if her wishes are contrary to Gods for you, then you must follow what God says. It's not a matter of not Honoring your parents. You can be respectful in how you talk to her and tell her you will always love her but that you are going to follow what you believe God has for you.
Let me share a bit about my life that might help clarify what can happen. When I was young, about to turn 20, I was dating a Christian man, the first guy I ever dated. I talked to God back then too. I know I asked Him if it would be the right thing for me to marry this man. I also know I had God's approval. What I did not know ahead of time, but God knew, is that this man had mental disabilities that caused him to be verbally abusive to me after some months into the marriage and it continually got worse over the 30 years I stayed with him. What? Did God knowingly say it was Okay for me to marry an abusive man? How could He allow that you ask?
Simple. . . it was the pressure I needed to change and grow spiritually and learn an important lesson. A diamond, the most precious stone known to man is formed only by great pressures in the earth. Without the pressures of abuse, I would not have learned to love myself enough to remove myself from a bad situation. God had other things to teach me of course before I was able to come to that point. And so, instead of being angry at the ex, I am thankful that it was him instead of someone else. I could have had someone else worse who beat on me too. If I had never married him, I would have met someone else just like him. How do I know? Well, how many women who leave a bad relationship but didn't learn a crucial lesson, keep saying "How come I keep attracting guys with the same problems?" Its not that they are attracting them but that they haven't learned what their soul was meant to learn. So you can't run from or avoid whatever it is you are meant to learn. You are in a tough place, like that saying "between a rock and a hard place," and thats for a reason. If you try to diffuse this situation by placating mom, then the lesson you need to learn will keep cropping up over and over again, maybe not with mom but friends, co-workers, etc... until you face it and go through it. I wish you the best dear.
Hi! Befor u get all upset about my question I just want to say that I have been masturbating for about 2 years now, and I want to ask my mom for a dildo or a vibrator but she will start to freak out and yell at me so how do I ask with her not yelling at me? Please help! Ps I am 12
Since you have to be a certain age to purchase one at a sex toy store, you have very little options but talking to mom. Tell her you have something to talk to her about puberty and sex. Tell her that you've been dealing with the sexual urges already for two years as you told us and that you would like to have a vibrator or dildo to take care of those urges. She may have or may not have had urges at the same age as you. And depending on her personality, she may have masturbated or not. But what she did shouldn't be the standard for you.
Its a perfectly normal function so there's no reason for mom to get upset and yell at you. If your mom tends to yell often for any situations and gets upset easily, she may not be the best person to ask. In that case, ask an aunt of yours to talk to her on your behalf. My daughters at times growing up would talk to their aunt before talking to me because since she wasn't directly the mom, she would be more likely to be understanding and not over react and talk to mom for you.
If your mom is pretty open minded and a calm person normally, this shouldn't be a problem.
Sometimes a parent can be caught off guard by such a request and may respond a bit more surprised and sharp tone of voice due to being unprepared to hear such a thing.
If mom is seeming to over react, then you can always say you are trying to be responsible and not go to boys to have sex or have sex with girls so you dont get pregnant cus the thought of that doesnt sit well with you. Thats why you are trusting her as mom to be supportive and help you so you don't have to turn to using alternative objects as dildo's which could increase your chances of get ting an infection.
Good luck dear.
Basically like 3 days ago I had sexual intercourse with my ex honestly I feel fucked up I feel like he's only nice to me till he gets what he wants and I'm the biggest idiot ever to go ahead and have sex with him. I feel used and hurt right now cause I know he doesn't want anything serious.. It's like whenever we speak it's sexual. We've been friends since we ended like over 2 years ago but we've only had sex twice since the breakup I honestly don't know what to do cause I feel like I'm emotionally and physically attached I feel so used I wanna cry cause I knew what I was getting myself into I don't know what to do
When a person wants the sex and a friendship but not a serious relationship as far as having strong feelings like love, it's disappointing if the other wants commitment along with the sex.
It is normal to have needs for sexual release and after a while, for some people, masturbating just doesn't cut it anymore. If the person isn't ready to become seriously emotionally attached in a relationship but wants sex, that is actually quite normal and its in my opinion a very good option for a person who hasn't found Mr. Right yet or Ms. Right yet, to be upfront that you are comfortable with the other person and like them well enough as a friend and that you would like to be a friend with benefits. As long as both are upfront about it in the beginning, there is nothing wrong with that. I did that several times when I got divorced as I dated before meeting my 2nd husband.
Dont beat yourself up about having sex with him after a breakup. You have your needs too. And he is a known quantity, you know what the sex is like, and can trust he wont physically hurt you sexually or doesnt have any STDs, etc.
If you are still harboring hope that he might fall in love with you if you give him sex, you need to change your thoughts cus thats not going to happen. Start looking for Mr. Right and realize that the ex is just for taking care of your sexual needs until you find the right guy.
Hi! I was just wondering if I could where a push up bra? I DO NOT want to be slutty with it I just really want more support because my boobs are a bit bigger then most girls ( my bra size is a 36A) and how do I ask my mom with out her freaking out? Please help and please no hate
A cup is the smallest of cup sizes, so I wouldn't think that means that you need support.
However if you are starting to show and its obvious your breasts are growing, then it would be a good idea to get a bra, any kind really is fine. I am thinking more of the hiding of nipples so they dont show to tantalize boys and also as extra protection padding wise when the breast area is always so tender when girls are in the growth stage.
The purpose of a push up bra is to give better shape and make it appear that your breasts are bigger and fuller than they actually are.
Push up bra's accomplish this by stronger side panels that push any breast tissue in towards the center, underwires supports that help push breast upwards and pads that displace some of the breast from its normal position so that there is more of a cleavage showing. The kind of male attention such bra's attract is probably more than you are ready for at your age. Boys need no attention to notice girls chests.
If you are intending to wear any tops with a low enough neckline that make the cleavage obvious when wearing such a bra, I am sure any mom would not encourage that or feel comfortable with a daughter dressing that way. Not being disrespectful. Once you are older and you've experienced the kinds of attention guys will give no matter how little skin is showing anywhere, you'll see why moms will want to hold off that possibility happening as long as possible.
You did say you want 'support'. A push up bra is not necessary for just 'support'. The girls and older females with extra large cup sizes do not wear push up bra's. In fact the larger the breast, the less likelihood of finding a regular bra in the store that will support the heavier weight and they have to resort to ordering a bra on line especially constructed to support their weight. And let me tell you, at those sizes, bra's are no longer sexy and lacy looking. All they do is serve as function as support and look pretty ugly.
If you have no bra's at all and this is more about how to approach mom to get her to take you bra shopping, then remember, shes a girl and had to do this once upon a time. If you just want a prettier bra than mom might choose, then what you can say is that even though no one will see how your bra looks, it makes you feel prettier having it to wear.
It is a well known fact that how people feel about themselves can be boosted by what they wear...as long as they are not suffering from low self esteem. Good luck dear.
for the above question is there any pregnancy.she will not become pregnant.
Have her take a pregnancy test available in groceries and drug stores. Your question is not very clear. If you want to know how to avoid getting a girl pregnant, before having sex, or I haven't guessed at what you are asking, then please try rephrasing your question.
hi
i had sex with my girlfriend using condum.but after a day she is having urination and itching problem.is this a symtom of pregnancy.i just want to avoid if it is like that.any medicine prefered.what to do ?.
Itching is a common reaction to the material makeup of the condom. Some girls get an allergic reaction to latex, some to rubber. So depending in which you used, try the other type next time.
For her itching, she can find over the counter creams that help relieve vaginal itch.
The entrance to the urinary tract in right above the vaginal opening so perhaps in having sex, some germs were forced into the urethra or its also due to residue from the latex/rubber. She may want to see a Dr. if she thinks she has a bladder infection starting.