Growing up as an only child I have always had my weird quirks. I'll admit I have a very weird laugh. Sure, I can act childish, silly, and be naive sometimes. And I can also have blonde moments here and there. But that doesn't mean that I don't know how to be mature in some situations. Deep down I know that I can be a serious, smart and wise person. I also love to help others and give advice of my past experiences. But lately I have been feeling lost as to how I should act. While others may find me amusing and interesting, others may find me too weird or unbearable. My mom keeps telling me that since I'm 18 I should smarten up and act lady like, and that I should change my laugh cause no guy would like me if I didn't. And lately I have been finding myself either embarrassed of what I did afterwards or that a person would find me annoying and make it clear of it. I feel that if I completely tried to change myself and be mature and serious, then I would lose my character. I would lose my identity that sets me apart from other people. I know that life is all about trial and error.. But still. I don't know what to do, what do you think ??
We are who we are and yes we can change something's about ourselves but we cannot totally reinvent ourselves. When we try to be something we are not it comes across as being false and people will see right through that.
Yes there are people who are or have been the class clown. As they age and mature the class clown in them matures as well and it is not a false change which people will see and find displeasing.
You're being embarrassed about things because you are overly sensitive about them since your mom made you aware of some things that she finds immature. It is funny but we parents can be strange at times. When you are in a hurry to grow up and do adult things we tell you to slow down and be a kid or teenager. Then by the stroke of a clock you become an adult and we expect you to suddenly act like one.
Fact is you're still a teenager and you may even still be in high school. If so you will still be treated like a child. Talk about your mixed signals this one really is the topper. Even as you enter college you can expect to be treated more child like than as an adult because of the parent child relationship education and educators have with students.
You are who you are, never change yourself to please others only to please yourself. You will change that I can promise you as you mature. What some people may not like about you now will disappear and some of things that people do like about you will also disappear as you mature and your goals in life become clearer.
Dragonflymagic answered Monday July 28 2014, 7:54 pm: Smart girl!! I like when you said: I feel that if I completely tried to change myself and be mature and serious, then I would lose my character. I would lose my identity that sets me apart from other people.
But to be more to the point, who are you changing for, to make others happy or is the change something that you want to do? Never change who you are to please others. I learned that the hard way with first husband.
As for mom or maybe even others not liking your laugh, oh well, too bad for them. They'll just have to put up with it.
I am like you, no cute delicate laugh. When I laugh, it's loud enough that many others nearby can hear and not only weird laughs, but I have had natural changes to my laugh all my life. And it always changes to something again uncommon, unique, weird. If you choose to TRy to change your laugh, you will come across as fake, not really finding something funny, that you are just pretending cus a laugh you have to "act" like a role in a play is just that, an act, not your real self and when you are not your real self, you come across as fake.
Enjoy your own laugh. If you're anything like me, every couple of years, your laugh will change, and then change again on its own. I never put any thought to it, I never plan or decide or attemp practicing a different laugh, it just happens. If yours doesnt change, be proud of it.
Just to give you a laugh, I used to know a grown woman who when she laughed sounded exactly like guinea pigs, specifically the excited "Whee, Whee whee," sounds they make when they think you are about to feed them. If you dont' know what that sounds like try to find a clip on the web. Cus once you know the sound it makes this funnier. She was a very quiet shy person so talked little and softly. A bunch of couples had traveled to another city to take in a Christian convention together. On our spare time we all boarded the light rail and her husband and one of the other guys tried to get her to laugh which she did. The more she laughed, the more we began to laugh. No one had to say anything funny any more because her laugh was enough to keep things going. There wasnt a single stranger in the car we were in who could keep a straight face. Eventually, every person in the car was laughing at her laugh. With all the laughing going on, we discovered two other strangers on the rail car that had their own funny laughs and on it went for 15 mins or so. I will never forget that event. It was sooo fun. Good luck dear.
I used to [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
Ersted answered Monday July 28 2014, 7:24 pm: Never change for others. If you like who you are, wear it and be proud of it.
You will NEVER please everyone, it is impossible. If someone doesn't like you as you are, then you do not need them in your life, and attempting to keep them in your life would be draining, introducing more negative into your life than positive.
Find people--even if they are few and far between--who truly appreciate who you are, and those relationships will be all the more special and enjoyable because of it.
And no one can tell you what EVERY guy does or doesn't like. There are an almost infinite number of different people with different tastes.
Happiness in life comes from within...first loving who YOU are and accepting who you are. Things like your sense of humor or your laugh, you can never genuinely change, you would only be able to put up a facade, and cease to be yourself.
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.