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Stuck between two guys, typical love traingle.
Hey everyone, 17 y.o (female)
So I'm stuck between two guys. They're both one year younger. I've seen them both in person a handful of times. They do not know each other.
Guy A: he's very attractive. Has a nice body, nice smile, nice everything. He asked for my number but barely texts me, and when he does, it takes him hours to respond! He calls me once per day, but it's usually after midnight which bothers me a lot. We've talked like 2 times during daylight. Yes, I like late night phone calls but not all the time. Especially when I work, so I have to get up early. He told me his mother knows about me, but I don't really believe him. We have a lot in common, we both study accounting in High School, we're both the youngest in our families and we both are bilingual. I really liked him, up until he started calling at 1 a.m. and texting back after like two hours. He lives about an hour away, he did mention going out sometime but he's never taken initiative.
Guy B: attractive in that stubble-utterly-masculine way. He's so sweet it's crazy. We share opinions on everything and we talk about everything and anything. He has a job, so he understands that sometimes I'm dead tired and need to sleep. He's hilarious, always making me smile. We have this promise that we take turns texting each other because he feels like he's bothering me when he texts and I feel the same way. He recently opened up with me about his family, and it made me realize that he actually feels something towards me. He hasn't mentioned anything about meeting up yet. He lives like half an hour away btw.
It may seem obvious, "go with Guy B", but I do like Guy A as well. I've been friends with both guys for awhile, and it's not like I'm in a rush to get into a relationship. I haven't flirted too much with either of them because I need to get my feelings straight. I just want someone who'll want me in their life, someone who'll just take things slow with me and take initiative sometimes. What do you guys think? I feel like I'm in need of a second opinion.
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I would go with guy B. Even if Guy A likes you, i think it's for an entirely different reason for why guy b likes you. Guy a seems to not really care about you. It seems like guy b likes you for who you are, and guy a is only interested in going out with a pretty girl. Guy b seems to like you more for your personality than your looks, and loves to hang out with you. Guy b lives closer to you. Guy a wanted to go out with you, but like I said, I don't think it was for the same reason you think he did. Like I said, I've seen this before, guy a loves you cause your pretty, but guy b loves you because your funny, smart, sweet, and/or sensitive. He loves you for who you are, not who you look like. I've seen this all in guys, just so you know. I think that guy b hasn't really got the guts to ask you out. All of this is personal opinion, of course, but from experience, I've seen these types of guys before, and they always come out exactly like my predictions. Well, I hope this helped! ~M&M
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It doesn't seem like the first guy is too interested in anything but a late night chat/sext/whatever. It also seems a little dodgy that he only calls at night? I would personally go with the second guy but really only you can make that call!
When I'm stuck with two options, I get a coin and call heads or tails for whichever option. If I call heads, get heads and am disappointed then I know to go with the tails option, does that make sense? Maybe talk to guy A and see what his intentions are (as to whether they match up to yours) and then make your decision!
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I wouldn't call it a love triangle yet if neither of them have those kinds of feelings.
My opinion is that A is merely attracted to you, but not putting in the amount of time needed to get to know you better to discover whether he really likes you enough to want to date you.
Attraction, liking enough to become best friends, and love, are all very different things to me.
Guy B is already acting with you like a very close friend. He is considerate of you and how you feel, makes you laugh, and a biggie: he trusts you enough to make himself vulnerable and share things with you that he wouldn't with just anyone. These are all signs of someone who is like a best friend.
A male best friend is a good prospect for a dating, romantic, love relationship, more so than someone who is only at the attraction level with you.
Another thing I share with young people is the purpose behind dating in the first place. If you understood it the way I do, you may have no trouble knowing which guy to go for. So here we go:
At your point in age, the object is not to practice longevity of relationship, sticking together long term even if its not a perfect dating relationship. The object is not to prove to yourself or others that you can stick with someone long term...that comes in later years after you have a clue what kind of guy you want to end up life long with.
Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in the other that would harm you emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up.
Dating is more about learning what you do and don't like in a guys character and the same for him. Its a time of making comparisons. Seeing what is lacking in a current partner that you would like to have, or something that they do, or ways they treat you that are disrespectful or hurtful emotionally or physically as in being abusive or violent. When you come up against things like that, you need to decide if you will settle for less or move on to the next dating partner, hopefully always shooting for someone a step better in some area. Make a list of the qualities you like and remind yourself with another list of the qualities you dont like or must avoid because they are harmful to your well being. Review it and update it often through out the years.
If you do not want to date exclusively one at a time during the attraction level and the exploring if there can be friendship level, then as long as you make that clear with all guys involved that right now you are interested enough to find out if you like them enough to date only them but until you have had a chance to check out a couple other prospects to make your decision, you will not be hanging with them or dating them exclusively. I have done this and read of dating experts who mention this. It actually does make sense. You dont stay in limbo for ever at this stage, but as soon as you've seen enough of each guys character to see how they fit your wish list, only then can you make the best choice.
good luck dear
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