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Itshim or my mother
Hello there,its love choice girl again
If you are reading this,you all have the understanding that I fell in love with a man who isnt in my beliefs.My mother believes that by me seeing this man,who loves me so much,I am giving up God.I understand that he doesnt,and I am unsure where his beliefs stand,he is worldly,but his heart is so good and we are so close.
My mom is furious over the fact that he cant see me and just wont have it.She so angry at me,and I feel I have no choice,but to say goodbye to my sweetheart and continue on with my life,without him.I told my mother I would break it off,but she was still upset.I havent said anything to my sweetheart at all.
I,I dont want to.
Im so heartbroken,and I feel like my heart is bleeding to death.
My mom keeps saying shame on me,shame on me,because I have done evil,its not that way,I love God more than anything,and I love this man.'Please,please
Please,what do I do? Please help me
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So what you are afraid of is being disowned.
For a quick reminder with examples of what it means to disown someone, check out this dictionary link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Unless mom has actually said she is going to disown you, that may not happen.
You have only said, "My Mom believes . . . and My Mom says . . .
What she says and what she believes is something that pertains only to her.
Each person is accountable to their self. Whatever your mom has to learn and experience as a soul in this life is not meant to be the exact blueprint of what you are supposed to learn and experience in this life.
If you could know what God knows about what the plan is for your life, then you would know if what Mom wants you to do, and obeying her wishes would take you on a path where you may not being experiencing what you uniquely as a soul need to experience. You can put such things off, trying to avoid them and living your life for Mom, not for yourself. But one day she will die, and you will be much older, having avoided the path God had for you for a good chunk of your life and whatever it is you are meant to learn and experience will come into your life then later in life, like when you are over fifty.
Perhaps the lesson to learn is something as simple as knowing what it is like to have family reject you because you are going against their wishes. Something like Jesus felt at one point when he cried out, Father why have you forsaken me? Life isn't meant to be easy. The unique lessons we personally need to learn are hard, tough, something we would rather run from than go through the experience. This is where you are at. Jesus knew he was going to have to go through the ordeal of being crucified. I don't blame him for not wanting to go through with it. But he did and it was during that time he felt like he was all alone in his experience.
You simply need to decide if you are willing to face the hard parts of life which may include mom giving you the cold shoulder for a while. Or unless she is one to hold grudges for a long time, maybe this is one more opportunity God is allowing her to learn how to not hold grudges, and also how to not judge others and condemn and try to coerce others through shame as Mom seems to be doing. She knows she is losing the battle and is resorting to hitting below the belt where it will really hurt you, using shame, using her words like darts as last ditch effort to get you to do her wishes. You need to have a very close talking relationship with God to know if what you are wishing to do is the path you are meant to take. Start asking God. Ask him to bring confirmation to you through other believers who are able to hear from Him really well. But start now yourself. It doesnt work like magic the first time you ask. But God isn't going to volunteer the information either...you need to start talking with HIm, share what you are feeling, and ask Him whether doing as Your Mom wishes, or following your heart is going to best teach you what you are meant to learn as a soul.
You are at a point where there is nothing more any advice giver can say to ease the burden you are carrying. You have a decision to make and the only way you'll be able to handle the consequences better, is knowing that God told you to take this particular path. I do not know you or what Gods path for you is. That is for you to find out directly from Him. Mom was in charge when you were growing up. Now you're an adult and if it comes to obeying God or obeying Mom if her wishes are contrary to Gods for you, then you must follow what God says. It's not a matter of not Honoring your parents. You can be respectful in how you talk to her and tell her you will always love her but that you are going to follow what you believe God has for you.
Let me share a bit about my life that might help clarify what can happen. When I was young, about to turn 20, I was dating a Christian man, the first guy I ever dated. I talked to God back then too. I know I asked Him if it would be the right thing for me to marry this man. I also know I had God's approval. What I did not know ahead of time, but God knew, is that this man had mental disabilities that caused him to be verbally abusive to me after some months into the marriage and it continually got worse over the 30 years I stayed with him. What? Did God knowingly say it was Okay for me to marry an abusive man? How could He allow that you ask?
Simple. . . it was the pressure I needed to change and grow spiritually and learn an important lesson. A diamond, the most precious stone known to man is formed only by great pressures in the earth. Without the pressures of abuse, I would not have learned to love myself enough to remove myself from a bad situation. God had other things to teach me of course before I was able to come to that point. And so, instead of being angry at the ex, I am thankful that it was him instead of someone else. I could have had someone else worse who beat on me too. If I had never married him, I would have met someone else just like him. How do I know? Well, how many women who leave a bad relationship but didn't learn a crucial lesson, keep saying "How come I keep attracting guys with the same problems?" Its not that they are attracting them but that they haven't learned what their soul was meant to learn. So you can't run from or avoid whatever it is you are meant to learn. You are in a tough place, like that saying "between a rock and a hard place," and thats for a reason. If you try to diffuse this situation by placating mom, then the lesson you need to learn will keep cropping up over and over again, maybe not with mom but friends, co-workers, etc... until you face it and go through it. I wish you the best dear.
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I am also in a relationship with someone of a different religion. As much as my mother would like me to be with someone of the same faith, as she's very traditional and conservative, I have found that I have to do what my heart tells me is right. Tell me this- do you think God would judge you for unconditionally loving a human being on this planet? Every being is God's child, is God's creation, correct? If part of having faith is also loving God and loving his creation, then how are you really and truly abandoning your faith? In fact, in my opinion, you are doing something incredible! You're defying a tradition on religion and relationships that is ignorant and slowly becoming antiquated.
I have found that my relationship with my significant other is a true blessing. It has actually expanded my faith, and together we have explored God and his plan through each of our own beliefs. I think if you really sit and down and think about it, and even explain this to your mom, she and you will realize that there are many more commonalities between faiths than you think. Part of the issue I understand is communicating this with your mom, who clearly has traditional beliefs. But just remember that your intuition and your heart are generally right. In this life, we have to chart our own path in order to find real happiness.
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