I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
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Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 months. Since before we started dating, we've been saying "I love you" and I thought I did love him. But now I really know, I think I really love him. I mean it's so hard to describe. How can I really tell? And if I AM sure, how can I tell him that I REALLY DO MEAN IT. Some things he does makes me mad, but then when I think I'm mad at him I start crying because he's perfect. I never truly am mad at him. He's not like everyone else. I really am at a loss for words here. How can I tell if I really love him / if I'm in love with him. Thanks. I'd be willing to talk on email if you could really help. (link)
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There is no real way to explain how you know you love somebody, you just know. It something which has never properly been explained as to how it feels and how you know. Maybe we will never know when we love somebody, it's just an instinct which tells us this.
It seems as if you've got the perfect man for you and you shouldn't give up, keep it going until...well, as far as you want it to go. Many girls/women in this world sometimes don't find Mr Right, but you're the lucky one. You found him and you know in your heart of hearts that you love him and don't be afraid to show it to him.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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ok. i'd first like to thank everyone who has been answering my other quistions. I greatly apriciate it. BUt lets hope this is the final chapter. ( probably wont be) lol But ok here it goes. Since my mom new abot my boyfriend and i, I told him that I told my mom, that his bro and his bros gf had sex, ( knowing she wouldnt care) but my bf told his bro. ANd his bro is mad at me, and I know he has a right to be, cause I do get into other peoples buissness, but i'm working on it. N e ways, he got his gf ( who was my bf) mad at me. Were talking now, but i feel she has a right to be mad at me. But I mean, he's ALLWAYS butting in on mine and my bfs phone conversations. SO what do I do? Or what would you do?
(link)
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As humans, we're naturally curious about what goes on around us. Sometimes we say things which other would like to keep private. I've expreianced this with my friend who goes around, telling people about my personal life, even though i've tols him thousands of times not to, but he continues you (not a very mature mind).
Just be paitient and keep calm, there is no point in getting annoyed over something which could bring up something which you'd might regret in the future.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i need a cute NOT COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS love song to put on my myspace for valentines day. any suggestions?
(link)
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Endless Love - Mariah Carey
Without You - Mariah Carey
My Heart Will go On - Celine Dion
Anytime you need a Friend - Mariah Carey
Can You feel the Love Tonight? - Elton John
Footprints in the Sand - Leona Lewis.
I hope these help,
triquetra
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Recently I had asked a boy from my church if he would like to my bf, and he said he would think about it and and I am still waiting for him answer, but(there's always that but), my ex-bf has just told me his feelings for me despite his current gf who has cheated on him like 3 times. I don't know who to choose. The boy from my church is really the sweet, quiet type. But my ex-bf is the type of guy who will tell me his feelings about a situation and is always telling and showing how he feels (the sensitive type). I have known my ex-bf longer- about 1 year- and I just met the church boy. They both are incredibly sweet guys. It feels like a really hard decision that I hate to make considering that I am a big person who comes to liking guys and they both are sweet. Can someone please help me? This will break my heart if I end up turning down the wrong guy. (link)
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Give the Church boy a chance at proving himself to you. Go out with him a couple of times and see how you feel for him, if it doesn't go well (which i hope it doesn't), then see about your ex.
I'm a great believer in second chances and sometimes people make mistakes, especially about love. We dump somebody because we think we don't love them, but after they date somebody else, all they think about is the last person they dated. This could be what's happening to your boyfriend. Give him a chance and see whether he's changed or not.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ok, yes i'm the one whos parents just found out about her having sex..-lol-a little sense of humor left.N E ways, yeaterday, I talked to my bf about how my parents felt, cause I felt he had a right to know...but after I told him, he syas, that we shouldn't see each other anymore. But I remindeed him that he promised. And he DID promise me that he would stick with me through thick and thin. Then he says, that he's sorry, and he dosn't make promises he dosnt intend on keppin. And I know it sounds like I keept him with me, but later yesterday, I told him numorous times, that it's his desision, and it's his choice. THen he said that he wouldnt leave me. SO he's secure. But do I belve him? DOes anyone think we'll last? I just need ideas, and help cause I just want to get this problem as fixed as possible. ALso, my bf and I both decided that were not going to have sex for a LONG time. so thats done, but any help? (link)
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Hi, me again. He made a promise to you which he said he will keep, that's all you need to be sure about this realtionship.
If the couple aren't sure about the relationship, it won't last. But if they are, then it will last for a very long time.
Don't doubt yourself about this, keep faith in the love the two of you share together. Plus, it's evident that he really does like you because:
a) He's kept his word, he will go through thick and thin with you and
b) Don't be afraid, if your sfriad, then you could be pushed into a decision which you won't like. Keep your mind focused upon the two of you. The two of you made a good decision about the sex, keep it down for a while until things get straightened out between you and your parents.
And remember, nothing which people can say can destroy what is between the two of you.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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16/f. I have a boyfriend (same age). We've been going out for a month. He's my first bf..But yeah. My (ex) best friend (girl) ...well, she's been getting on my nerves about me and him. See, the thing is...she used to like him...and flirt with him all the time. But in the end, he chose me over her..I don't know why...But he did. And now she won't leave me alone. She bitches at me, calls him names, tells me not to kiss him in front of me and when I did, she's like...HOW WAS IT?, spies on us and tells her friends what we did, starts arguments over it. I'm asking her to be honest..like...do you LIKE him or WHAT? And she's all...ew ew noo noo ew he's gross, how can you even kiss him.
Yet...she looks for every possible way to flirt with him. And he doesn't pay attention to her. She even like ...puts his name in her myspace about me...how she looks forward to seeing him every morning and how he makes her day...Things like that.
Honestly, I'm getting a bit suspicious. Not about my boyfriend and her...but just her behavior.
Would you think she still REALLY likes him? =| (link)
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It's pure jealosy, that's all it is. What she's doing isn't to annoy you (even though it seems like it), it's to get back at you. Why? Because you're having a relationship which she didn't have with him and naturally, she will feel upset about this because you're having a realtionship which she wanted to have with him.
It is abvious (well, to me it is) that she still has feelings for him, but she denys it when other speak to her wbout it because she doens't want to accept the truth about the two of you.
Put youself in her shoes. YOu really like this guy and you want to go out with him and your sending out the right signs, but then somebody else comes along and he chooses her, not you. You'd feel naturally upset about this, wouldn't you? This is how she feels.
Talk to her and help her through this. Tell her things like things happen for a reason, and the reason for this is because there is a better guy for her out there, and that one day, she will be happy with that guy. She needs to let go of what was and move on to what is to come and look for Mr Right.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Me 15/F him, 15/M
We both live in europe. Just bear that in mind :)
Hokay, well I have known Seth(him) since I was about 6.
When we turned 13 we became very close. Like we would always be together, and we acted like a couple, sometimes even kissed..but we weren't a couple.
Since his family is good friends with mine, every year we go on a snowboard/ski trip to France(Alps).
This year, since we were both 15, we got a ''ski apartment'' to ourselves. We spent all our time together, and since last year, he's taught me how to snowboard.
We ride together, we do everything together for those two weeks that we stay there.
One night we got pretty drunk and I was lying on him on the big sofa, and I fell asleep. I woke up a bit later and started kissing him, because I wanted him, sooo bad.
But I can't imagine us being together, like a couple.
He said that he'd liked me since he was 13... but he knows that we'll prob. never ever date.
We do go out together a lot and so on...but I donno.
I love him. I do. Not as a friend..I love him, but why can't I see us together??! (link)
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When you've known somebody that long, you will always think of them as friends, no matter what you're feelings are and that's why you don't see a future with him.
I can't really think of a way which you'll get around this, but there is one which you might not like to do, it's your call: begin to treat him not as a friend and see him more of a boyfriend, go out with him on dates because that's the only way i can see of going aroind this. I know that he says that you'll never date each other, but it seems to be the only way. Give it a shot and see what happens. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, things happen for a reason and i think the reason for this, is to test you two to see if you can make it to a realtionship where friendship doesn't interfere.
Give it a go and see what happens. Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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i recently asked a quistion, about my mom being mad that i had sex. Ok well, last night I found out that mydad knows, and my mom says i broke his heart.and also that if he ever saw my bf agin, hed kill him. And that my bf and my bfs mom were going to get an earful.so what do i do now? My bf, his mom, and i are all hated. and if not me, then how do I save this relationship? Or worse, how do I get the scwardness gone from my dad. Because I don't seee him untill Saturday. (link)
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The best thing for you to do is to talk to both of them when you have the chance.
Tell them that what you did was nothing wrong, you were just both expressing your feelings towards to one and another. There is nothing wrong in that. Only those who're ashamed of what they've done think that it was wrong. You're not like that, you and your boyfriend really love each other and the fact that you had sex proves that.
Times are changing rapidly, even though we aren't aware of the change. These times are different to your parents where it was restricted, but now, people want to express their feelings to one and another.
The two of you love each other and no amount of violence will change that. In fact, it would strenghten the bond between the two of you because you need each other. When your parents were young, they had intense feelings for other before they met each other, everybody does. There is nothing different about this.
Call your dad and say that you want to speak to him and your mum on Sunday about this.
Any further help which you want, don't hesitate to drop a question into my inbox,
triquetra
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I've been talking to this guy for about two weeks now and we really get along. Its cute because he's my best friend's boyfriend's friend and we go on double dates! Well my cousin used to like him, but she has a boyfriend and is younger than him! Well today I found out from my cousin that he had sex with this girl last wednesday. She heard it from our other cousin's best friend who talks to the girl who had sex with him. So I asked the guy & he first started with "where'd u hear that from? Who told u? That's extreme!" I asked to just answer the question & he said NO way. I told my best friend and she told me that my cousin had lied about that type of stuff before to our other friend. I'm not sure if she just lied because she likes him or if she's tellin the truth? What's your opinion? The guy is kind of a jock, really popular, too. (link)
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You should trust the person you trust most. Personally, I would trust him because it would be a very stupid lie to tell you, only for you to find out later and get hurt.
Make sure whether the story is true or not and to do that is to go directly to the source, the friend who claims to have slept with him and see if the discription matches your boyfriend. It it does (and i hope it doesn't come to this), go to your boyfriend again and ask the same question and see what he says.
But more importantly, trust your instincts. You know he loves you and you know that you love him.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Me and this girl have been talking for a while and we both sound interested in eachother but i was wondering how to ask her out. We hardly get a chance to hang out and now i'll almost never see her in school and i want to ask her out very soon so she doesn't think we arn't going anywhere and move on...cause i seem to find that happen with girls lol. So would it be ok to ask her out via text message or what? Thanks. (link)
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Text messaging would send the meessage to her that you're aren't that serious about the relationship. Just try and see in her the hall or somewhere she will be alone and just ask her.
triquetra
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Here is the problem I have known this guy most of our lives since 3rd grade now we are in our 20's. We haven't talked since we graduated in 2000 because we lost touch when he joined the Air Force but now I found him on MySpace he his married and has a daughter but here is the real problem I tried to get his cell number so I could give him a call and catch up cause he doesn't go online alot I talked with him a couple times when we were both online but I didn't get a chance to ask him for his number because we didn't talk long enough. Well anyway I asked his wife for his number and she said if he wanted you to have his number he would have given it to you. She also said that she would even give it to me if he wanted her to. But here's what bothers me we have been friends all these years and she won't help. I know he would have given me his number if he had a chance and I know for a fact that he wants to stay friends because he was looking forward to talking again. One other thing I gave him my cell number when I messaged him but his wife could of deleted it before he saw it because she messaged me once using his profile so if she went on his profile before she could do it again especially if she wants us to no longer be friends. What do you think I should do? Any advice would be really appreciated I just don't want to waste anymore time when we can be catching up. (link)
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The only thing which you can do is wait until he's online again and try to catch him again and ask for his number. In the process, ask whether all of you could meet up some where, so that you and his wife get to know each other a bit better.
Or even try calling his house again and if the wife picks up, explain to her that you don't want to 'impose' anything (not saying anything here), you just want to catch up with him since your both friends (also make it plain that you don't want anything else. That way, the wife won't have an excuse to say no). She cannot deny the two of still being friends, but remeber, she could be just trying to keep him and not to loose him, since they've got a daughter.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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does anyone know a song about either..
saying sorry
best friends drifting apart
you mean so much to me.
anything in that nature please!!
all would be great =] (link)
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Sorry seems to be the Hardest Word - Leona Lewis
Anytime you need a friend - Mariah Carey
I'll be there - Mariah Carey.
Because you Loved me - Celine Dion.
I hope these help,
triquetra
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last winter i became friends with a girl named gianna who i worked with at a grocery store. i was a sophomore in high school and she was a senior but we both went to different schools. our friendship grew as the year went on and i always had a great time around her and never felt like she was judging me. at random times, she would tell me these weird reasons why she couldn't hang out. she said her parents grounded her because she was seeing her boyfriend who was two years younger than her and they didn't like the idea of that. she quit her job at the grocery store and said it was because her mom didn't like the people who worked there and that we were corrupting her, since she goes to catholic school and the rest of us go to public school. keep in mind she was no more innocent than the rest of us, and none of us are druggies or alcoholics or anything. she said she wasn't allowed to hang out with me for this reason. over the summer we started hanging out again and we got so close. she was calling me almost everyday to hang out and we always had a great time. she still said she wasn't allowed to hang out but since she drives, it didn't really matter. she was starting college in september at a local school and she was nervous so i called to wish her good luck the day before and she was so happy to hear from me and thanked me and asked if she could call me back in a few minutes so i said okay. she never called back that night, and i never talked to her again. i've called her cell phone and left messages, text messaged her, and called her house. when i called her house, she answered but when i said it was me she hung up. on new years at like 1am, she finally came on AIM but her away message was on instantly and it said she had been onlnie for 8 hours. so i i/med her saying omg gianna please answer me and she signed off again. i checked on another screen name and truth comes out she blocked me. the story gets worse, someone who works with me and worked with her in the past saw her sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store. she was sitting in her car for over an hour. it was definately her, the person went to the car to say hi but she didn't say anything about why she dissapeared for so long. i miss her like crazy, nothing is the same without her. i don't know what to think and i don't know how to get her back. ideas on anything would be a big help! and thanks to whoever took the time to read this long thing (link)
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It seems that there is something going on at the house. It could be the fact that the parents think that your a bad influence on her but i don't think that you are. You say that she wasn't allowed to hang out with you or work at the grocery store because the parents say that it's corrupting her?
Just one question: are the parents very religious people? If they are, then that could be the problem. They are trying to 'protect' from the big bad world, if you get the idea. They don't want her to be raised around what they mught call rough people. Do say if i'm wrong.
Now, what to do. Try and approach her and ask her why she's done what she's done. Say that you still want to be friends with her and that you don't want the friendship to end. See what she says and then continue from there.
If you need any future help, drop the question into my inbox and i'll quickly get back to you,
triquetra
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Im 14/f and I have a boyfriend. But the problem is im not really happy with my boyfriend and I think I understand why. When my boyfriend asked me out I didnt expect him to for another week and I was going to use that week to think of my decision, but my friend convinced him to ask me out earlier and I ended up saying yes because he was being really cute and sweet about it.
The other problem is I think I still like this one guy I have liked for a while. This guy however is one of my best friends, he tells me everything and it kills me when girls hurt him and he gets really upset, we have gotten into conversations where we would bring up the possibility of us dating, and after a few jokes we'd both always say we see eachother as such good friends that we can always joke around with and have fun with that we'd never date. Ive slept over at his house a few times but once again we are really good friends so that was why. About a week ago he told me that if I did ask him to this one formal (i told him i was thinking about it cause we were both dateless) that he wouldve definately said yes and for some reason that got me really mad cause I kind of blew my chance.
I dont understand why this is happening cause we are such good friends and he'd never be interested in me. Is there anyway I can convince myself to get over the other guy and try to learn to be happier with my boyfriend? (link)
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Decied about whom you feel the most about. Sit down and see whom you think about the most. There really is no way you can convince yourself about your friend because your feelings for him will grow stronger.
If you think about your friend more nad have stronger feelings for him, then you should go out with him. There is no point going out with a guy when your thoughts are on another.
If you can see a future with your friend, then take it up and go out with him and see how that goes, then decide about your boyfriend. This isn't an affair, it's just so you can sort out your feelings for the two of them.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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OKay so I've been looking up stuff on Witch hunting in europe during the reformation of the Catholic Church. Which was in the 16th century.
If anyone can find me like a specific case of this on the internet. Or any reliable source on this on the internet would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you, and have a wonderful day (link)
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http://www.gendercide.org/case_witchhunts.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch-hunt
I hope these help,
triquetra
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HI! I'm a freshman in college ....So it's a long story, but I've been dating this guy off and on (the off part is in the beginning of us dating he was dating another girl and eventually chose her, and then came back to me....) we were friends for a while after the whole "cheating on me" thing.. but over break we started talking again. We got in a fight friday night, i drank too much and made out with one of his "fraternity brothers". Long story short, I didn't know he actually cared about me and I've been trying to get him to talk to me ever since. I've texted and called him, and then resorted to long winded, really sincere, facebook messages. Well, last night at like one thirty in the morning he texted me and said, " I just want you to know, i saw you in the gym today. And it sucked. And I don't know what I want to do quite yet about the situation..." I responded and said how sorry i was and he said "yeah well we should probably talk at some point" and i responded with "anytime" he said "I'll let you know." What does this mean?!?!?! I know I should give him time, but how long should it be before he "lets me know"??? AND then today, I received a facebook invitation to a masquerade ball, from him, that his fraternity is hosting. What is going through this guys head?! I really like him a lot and i don't know how to handle this. (link)
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Go to the ball. The best you can do at the moment is to go and see what happens, who knows, maybe something will come out of it and the two of you will talk and sort out the issues between the two of you. Talking and listerning to each other is the key to working this out.
Take also into consideration that he is still trying to figure out what his feelings are, he could be even shocked by the way he felt towards you when you made out with his 'fraternity brother'. Understand that he's having a tough time as well, figuring out as to how to came to have such strong feelings for you.
Wait till the ball and see what happens adn then move on from there.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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ok me and my bf have been together for 5 months now and it will be 6 months on valentines day and idk what to get him and i dont have much money please help! (link)
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It doesn't matter what kind of present you give him, it only matters if it's from the heart. Even the simplest of items can mean a lot to a person if it's from their loved one.
A photo of yourself in a nice frame would be nice, he could have it on his work desk to remind him of how beautiful you are all day long.
Simple things can go a long way. People who get flashy stuff for their valentines, often find that the presents are later discarded, whilst the simple things make the person more happy and last a lot longer.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i like this guy and im pretty sure he likes me because whenever we're in the hallway together he walks faster to catch up with me, even if he doesn't say anything, he speeds up just to walk next to me. we have one class together and we sit next to each other, thats how we started talking in the first place. he's also on my guy friends' soccer team. ANYWAY, i asked for his screen name for AIM a month ago and he happily gave it to me but he's never online. i don't want to ask for his cell number because i think that would be too forward but i want to get to know him better. how can i make this work?! (link)
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First, you need to see how he feels about you. That way, you can have a clear road to ask for his cell number and then develop the relationship even further. But also make sure that he wants to have a relationship with you in the first place, or whether he just considers you being a friend, also ask when he is online for his AIM and tell him that you want to speak to him online.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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this is long to bare with me please :)
17/f/nj
okay well me and this guy have fliting i guess you can call it since october.We try to hang out outside of school but always one of us is busy so we cant.Well,we finally hung out last weekend.He asked my friend what she was doing tonight (he dosent like her though i guess he just knows im always with her) and we picked him up in my friends car with his friends.And like he was tapping my shoulder and he wanted to sit next to me in the car but my friend sat up front with me and we decided to go to my other friends house.We went to his house and a couple people were drinking,and the guy i like was drinking also(he was kind of drunk but not really bad).So me and my 3 friends were sitting on the couch and the guy i like was on another couch but got up and just decided to sit on the chair in front of us,he kept looking at me and saying that the guys and girls should mix.Well,once one of my friends left the couch he sat right next to me and started to like rub my leg and hold my hand which was cute.But everyone all of a sudden left the room and he started to kiss me (which was our first kiss together) until someone came in and said it was making people feel weird and that like we should stop so i felt kind of awkward and we did stop.Well,after that happened i started to ignore him not on purpose but i was just so mortified i didnt really want to talk to him but he kept following me from room to room trying to talk but i just couldnt,and so my friend took home me and my other friend but not my crush and his friends and they left soon after us.When i got home he texted me asking me if i was mad at him and i said no,i just get uncomfortable getting with someone in front of people and he said umm sorry and i said whatever its fine.then he says not to sound like a dick or anything but i dont like serious relationships and i dont like being attached im sorry if you feel that way and i said im not(although im starting to now,but i knew he didnt want anything serious already) and he said good im glad your not mad.Then today he texted me asking if i was mad at him again and i said no im not and he said oh someone said you were i guess not and i said no im not,sorry if it seemed like it the other night and he said its cool then today he texted me asking me what i was doing and i said nothing just at my house how about you and he says nothing just getting stuff for the dance (the dance is in feburary, that made me mad because i wanted to ask him) and so i said oh i didnt know you were going he said yeah are you and i said no and he said why and i said idk and he said you should go it would be fun and i said eh maybe and he said go and i said you really want me to go huh and he said yeah it will be fun and so im confused why would a guy who just wants to "get with you" talk to you for 4 months like you really like her and care about her (since he really wanted to know if i was mad at him) other guys would'nt care if you were just some girl and how we would text at night for like 4 hours..and why would he tell me about the dance..to make me jealous? (someone asked him because its not his dance,he's in another grade then me this is my grades dance) so yeah what do ya'll think about this? im so confused thanks! (link)
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It seems as if he's trying to ask you out. Considering that you've already kissed and that got awkward, this could be a way of making it up by taking you to the dance to have fun with him.
Different guys treat girls differently. He really does care for you and if i were you, i would go out with him and see how you feel about him after the dance. This is how relationships grow, you figure out how you feel for each other and then take it to the next step if you're both ready for a relationship.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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Riiight. This story has a lot to it. Bear with me if you can be bothered :)
So, this girl Julia was going out with a guy called Damien. Julia was cheating on him with his BROTHER for about 8 months.
Recently she found out that she was pregnant, BUT she doesn't know who's the baby is yet (she was having sex with both of them)
Now she's bout 2/4 months pregnant, she's gonna keep it. Her parents kicked her out of the house.
And this is where I come in.
She came to my door at about one AM. with her bag and said that she'd been kicked out.
She doesn't know how she's gonna manage from now- too late to get an abortion. She is considering giving the baby away- to be adopted..but I'm getting more and more involved. I had to explain to Damien that Julia had been cheating on him, with his brother. His brother knew that Julia was with Damien, but he didn't really care. Now Damien and me are getting close after spending so much time together discussing things, sorting them out.
Julia is very, very, VERY pissed off at me for talking to Damien a lot. But she said that she's worried if it's Damien's kid, he'll have to find out and he will hate that.
His brother, Tom wants to be the dad of the baby, BUT he doesn't know that Julia was sleeping with Damien. SO if it turns out to be Damien's, Tom will leave Julia.
Also, My parents hate the fact that Julia is living with us, and we have to f*cking support her financially...Well we don't but my parents are, and Julia doesn't even say a word of thanks, she just bloody complains how her room is too small, and she doesn't have enough money to buy the things she wants and so on.
Please tell me what to do, I've started to dislike Julia, I agree with my parents 100% and me and Damien kissed yesterday for the first time. I am falling for him and seriously, he's not a bad guy at all. He's very sweet but Julia didn't appreciate him enough.
Ahhh =[
Btw, these are the details:
Damien-15/m
Julia-17/f
Tom-19/m
Me-15½/f (link)
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This is really horrible and sad. This has to be the saddest letter i've ever read, I'm so sorry for all of you.
Okay, the first thing you've got to do is to go to Julia's parents and convince them to let her back in. I know that this is will be difficult to do, but somebody must go to them and ask her to take her back in.
This is the most horrible position to be in, and i can understand that you're getting annoyed with her and frustrated but she still needs support on both sides.
Tell her parents to accept her back because this is the most difficult time for her and she needs the support from her family, no matter what they think. Family should remain together and support each other, for that is what keeps families together.
Remind Julia's mother what it was like when she was pregnant with Julia, i can imagine that she had her husband there to help and support her, but Julia doesn't have what her mother had. She's alone with nobody to guide her, she's even giving up her grandchild just to accepted back. If you do this, you'd be doing Julia a the very best peice of help anybody is giving her!! Her parents shouldn't punish the baby, just because of what the mother as done (from a piece of advise i was given and it really helped a lot in my cousin's situation)
As for her behaviour, you must understand that she's under a lot of pressure. She's giving up her child to be raised by strangers whom she may never meet, just to be accepted back into her family. She's giving up the one child which she got and there is nothing more precious to a young mother than her child and to give it away is something which no woman should have to go through. Also remember that she's thinking about her parents and the break up of a family, imagine how you'd feel if you were is her position. You'd feel very upset wouldn't you?
As for Damien, approach him and let him know what Julia is going through and he must be prepared to accept the fact that Julia could be carrying his child. Do the same for Tom.
Ask your parents to help you, if you want, you can ask them to go to Julia's parents and you can go to Damien and Tom. It's not as if you're trying to get rid of her, you're trying to give her the best help possible.
Golly, this is the longest answer yet! I hope this helps you and good luck with the future, for you, the child's, for everybodies sake. If you need any extra help: e-mail me or ask a question directly to my inbox,
triquetra
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