about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Hello! I'm 14/F. The question is clear. ☆彡I enjoy writing. I find this other world I can look forward to when I write. I'm not the best writer, never will be. I've also never shown anyone my work except teachers and friends I don't talk to anymore. I just desire for some feedback on my writing so I can improve. But I'm doubtful. My older sister has been the writer of the family, and she's really good. She has good stories in mind and is just better than me. I'm left feeling discouraged. (_ _).。o○ Is there a way where I can feel comfortable showing my work? I keep thinking others will be bored with what I'm writing, so that's another reason why. Thanks! (^o^)/ (Also sorry if this is rather long)

There are many of us that like to write. I like to write not that I'm looking to publish. I write for self-pleasure and to occupy my mind now that I'm retired.

Have you ever typed into a search engine; "How to write better." I just did and it returned a number of good places to visit. You may want to try this as well.

There are also online schools for writing where teachers and writers will review your writing and make suggestions. These programs charge for their service. Given your age if you wish to enroll in one of these I would suggest you ask your parents to review these websites with you as many are bogus and only looking for your money. They really do not return much in the way of help.

If you wish to enroll in one of these schools you need to do some research as to how viable they are. When you find one that is viable then you need to contact them, tell them about yourself, including your age and what your writing goals are. They will probably ask for a sample of your writing or give you an assignment to do so they can examine your writing skills.

One suggestion I see for your letter to us. There are some characters in your note that I'm not sure if you put them in or our computer is interpreting them with one exception that being (^0^).

When writing anything, even to us, try not to use Internet shorthand or street slang. Always use your best grammar and spelling as this is the only way the person or persons who are reading what you write have of judging who you are. Part of this judging is how mature you are. For the most part your note was well written and I understood what you were trying to tell us.

If you enjoy writing for the pleasure and peace it brings you then you should continue to do so. If you want to improve your skills so to some day be a professional writer you can do that as well. We are not born perfect we learn just about everything we need to do in life. Writing is just one of many.

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21/f
Me and my boyfriend of 2 years have sex quite often and I am on the birth control pill, plus he pulls out. For the past month I have been doing a low-carb diet in order to drop some weight for spring break. I also took a thermogenic fat burner as I am really into working out and I hit the gym pretty much every day. On spring break I ate pretty shitty, alot different than what my body is used to and my past month low carb diet. The last week before spring break I had diarrhea and stomach pains. I thought it was due to the weight loss supplement so I stopped taking it. Then the week later I had constipation (I usually always have constipation when I'm away from home, don't ask me why). But I've been home almost a week now and I am still bloated. No nausea or morning sickness or anything like that. I take my birth control pills everyday at the same time and haven't missed one. I just would like some opinions and assurance about this. Especially if anyone knows alot about weight loss thermogenic supplements. Thank you! Oh, and also I haven't gotten my period since January, however my period is usually irregular anyways due to the birth control pills.

I'm not a doctor so I cannot give you a diagnoses for your problem. The unasked question I am seeing here is: "Is it possible I am pregnant?"

To that question my response is: To put your mind at rest take a home pregnancy test. I don't think you are pregnant but there is always that possibility. If your are not pregnant your body probably is readjusting to your normal life style and if it continues for say another week see your doctor. If by chance you are pregnant, then you need to see a doctor.

When your on birth control medication other medications such as antibiotics can lessen their ability to protect you. This is one reason your partner always needs to wear a condom. The pull out method is the least effective form of birth control as during intercourse the male emits a tiny amount of fluid as a lubricant. This fluid contains enough semen to make you pregnant. He does not feel this fluid being emitted when he emits it.

Over the counter medication may effect the birth control medications as well. Over the counter medications and supplements are generally considered safe to sell without a doctors prescription. This does not mean they will not react with other medications you are taking. You should always check with the pharmacist when purchasing over the counter medications and supplements to see how they will react with any other medications you are taking.

Last but not least; condoms protect from some but not all STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Sex with someone who does not wear a condom exposes you to any and all partners they have had unprotected sex with.

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So I'm 13 and I'm not really comfortable going to school because of the people there (And I can't do anything about it, so please no answers on that). I was thinking homeschooling; And yes, there is someone at home that can homeschool me.

The thing is, I don't know how to tell my parents in a way that they'll understand and say yes. Can you guys please help me?

P.S. Please don't say that I'm "Missing out"... I already thought everything through.

I would really like to know why you are uncomfortable going to your school and what the people there are saying or doing to make you feel that way. If you are being bullied or teased there are things the school should be doing to correct this and to keep you safe.

That being said the best way I know to approach anything is straight forward and truthfully. You cannot just go up to mom and say I want to be home schooled. You are going to have to give her reasons why you want this and in great detail.

You will have to sell mom on the idea of home schooling you. You have some idea of some of the things you will be missing and she will raise these as objections. The key to any selling is being prepared for making the sale.

I'm not fooling here if you want this you are going to need to be prepared when you talk to mom. I spent over 30 years in sales very successfully because I prepared for those sales I needed too.

Here is what you need to do. You start by writing down the following:

1. Why you want to be home schooled, include all the details.

2. Think of all possible objections mom will have and come up with answers for all of them. These answers must be detailed and reasonable based in fact.

3. Research the different types of home schooling your school system will or has approved and the cost to your parents. There is a cost involved and it is all carried by your parents as they are taking you out of the free education provided you. Home schooling is the same as sending you to private school. All costs are on the child's parents.

4. The biggest objection I have ever faced and the hardest to overcome is, "I Can't, we can't afford this." Since I do not know your parents financial ability and you may not know their full financial ability this is the one you are going to have the biggest problem overcoming.

Once you are fully prepared to discuss this with mom then you can approach her. By being prepared she will see how much this means to you and hopefully take this into her consideration of what you are asking of her.

Now there is one other solution to your problem in school you may wish to consider. If the problem at your present school is with the other students. You can ask your parents to ask the school to move you to a school where you are not known. This gives you a fresh start and takes you out of the situation at your present school. Just something to think about if mom gives you a flat no to your request for home schooling.

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im 13 and so is he and he has touch me i gave him a hand job wevw humpd and ive sucked his dick we want to go all the way but we dont know how what should we do?

you're too young to be having sex so I'm not going to answer the question

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My ex and I have dated several times over the past 7 years, he just found out 2 years ago that he had a son, Him and I got back together right before Christmas last year and I lived with him and his 8 year old son. I witnessed some horrible behavior as a father to his son, he became very lazy, making his son do everything from changing the television channel to getting ice for his whiskey. We split up about 2 months ago, and it was a very bad break up, so bad that I actually cannot stand to hear his name. I have recently found out that I am 2 months pregnant, and have already made an appointment to terminate. But, I'm having second thoughts, should I do what I think is right and tell the father, even though I know it will lead to more stress and heartache, or do I go through with it and get on with my life? I have wanted a child for years, however, I am not ready for it now, I am about to graduate college and I dont even have a job or any money saved up. The father is a cook for a small store, so I know we would struggle. I dont want my child to grow up with anything less than a perfect life. What do I do?

I don't believe the father has any say in whether you abort your pregnancy or not. The first two advisers I believe asked you not to abort based on their views of abortion. To me this is the wrong advice; my views on this subject are not the question.

My belief is you need to do what is right for you. You can’t afford to support a child right now. Will he live up to court orders of support for this child? A court order is what you will have to seek if you go ahead with the pregnancy to insure he lives up to his responsibilities as the father. Which include child support and health insurance for the baby? You are the one who will have all the responsibility for child care and raising the child. You are the one that has to carry his child. You will have no choice but to put up with him being in your life until the child is 18 as he will be entitled to make certain decisions concerning the child. These are the things you need to take into account in making your decision.

It is not my place to tell you what to do. What I can do is point out some of the thing, things I think you already know. That I think you should include in your thought process before making your decision as to what you wish to do.

I hope I have helped in some way.

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Hi I'm a a 13 year old girl and I am somewhat of a hypochondriac and I don't want to worry my life away, I want to live it! I have been worrying about a disorder lately and I am an idler. My family tells me don't have it and I know I don't have it but I just want to stop thinking about

What is happening to you is quite common among young teenagers. While I am not a doctor I tend to believe it is something like a reaction to all the new hormones coursing through your body with the realization that we do not live forever.

Sometimes this will pass as you learn to deal with life and mature. Other times it grows into an anxiety disorder needing help from doctors. I cannot tell from what you have written where you are with this. My best advice would be to ask mom or dad to make a doctor’s appointment to discuss this with the family doctor or your pediatrician. (I say pediatrician as they see children up through age 16.)

If you are suffering from anxiety there are medications and therapy that will help you. Only a doctor can make the proper diagnoses so talk to mom or dad about taking you to yours.

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well me and this guy are very close we`ve already seen each othe pretty much naked we grab each other all the time(and its veryserious) so yesterday i sucked his dick gave him a hand job & we humped IN THE DARK and my boobs were all in his face...we both want to go alltheway to the sexual level but we don` really know how to start off what should we do???

Without knowing your ages you will not get the answer you're looking for. The fact that you do not know or are unsure of how to take the next step tells us you are young teenagers. Just how young is hard to say. I would guess anywhere from preteen to age 14.

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Im 14/f. Is it possible for me to cum and get orgasms duting masterbating?

This is what masturbation is all about; relieving sexual frustration and learning about your bodies sexual likes and dislikes. Masturbation is a normal part of life, according to a recent survey over 85% of the population masturbates. It is also part of foreplay when having sex though then it is called mutual masturbation when one partner does so to the other. If a boy has ever fingered you he is masturbating you.

In the privacy of your bedroom, with the door locked so you are not disturbed or intruded upon, through masturbation you will learn about your sexual needs and pleasures. You will learn where you like to be touched and how you like to be touched while at the same time relieving your own sexual frustration in a manner that is safe from pregnancy.

When you are older and ready for a sex life you will then be able to teach your partner how to satisfy you. Yes, sex is all about learning and teaching. We need to learn about ourselves and then when time comes we need to teach are partners what we like and dislike. They need to teach us about what their likes and dislikes are as well. This is how you make love. Anything else is something else and not very satisfactory.

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I am 12 and I already hit my period but for 2 months they have been late. I have been really sick and I'm gaining more weight every day.i can't fit in any of my clothes.but the only time I've really done anything with a boy I made him use a condom and it wasn't even sex.we just made out.plz idk what to so

You think you're pregnant but you haven't even had sex?

If you are having periods and even though they are late you can’t be pregnant. Your period is the cleansing of your womb making it ready for a fertilized egg to attach and grow into a baby. Late periods means no pregnancy. At 12 years old periods are bound to be irregular.

Your body is changing, that's why your weight is changing

Do you eat a lot of junk food? Junk food is not good for you at this time as you go through puberty. Junk food fast food equals an unhealthy diet.

You can't get pregnant without having sex.

Last you are way too young to be engaging in any type of sex or sex play. You should not even be dating anyone. In all states if the boy is 4 years older than you he can be charged with rape even if you do not have sex as it is illegal to date anyone under the age of consent who is 4 or more years younger than you. When you do date you should be dating boys your own age or no more than a year older until you are at least 18 which is now the age of consent. The age of consent has been changed in most states to comply with the no child left behind law. By changing the age of consent to 18 means that you cannot drop out of high school until you are legally an adult, which is 18.

Good rule of thumb to follow: I do not have daughters though my nieces grew up without a father and I was their father figure for most of their life. I told them when they started dating to follow this rule. “If you are unwilling to bring the boy to meet me then you probably should not be dating him.”

Meaning, if you are unwilling to bring the boy home to meet your parents you should not be dating him.

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Don't get me wrong, I love my sister, but most of the time I don't like her and can't respect her. I could talk all night about every problem I have with her, but basically, I'm tired of her being mean to my mom. We have the best mom we could have, but my sister treats her like dirt. She talks down to her, treats her like a child, lies to her and calls her a liar, screws her out of money, and blows off mother's day and other important days because her idiot friends keep scheduling their bridal showers for those days. She makes me put up with things she'd never put up with. For example,she's downright mean when she's hungry but doesn't care when anyone else is. I have diabetes and can't stand low blood sugar, but I had to last week when she was home for a visit and drug me around shopping when we were supposed to be eating and she just laughed about it. She's insensitive to my mom about her diet when she doesn't treat her body any better. She drinks like a sailor and last week, she had like eight drinks in one day. I'm sick of her doing mean things to my mom or starting fights with her and then running to my dad crying saying that my mom was the one who was mean. Then little while ago, she made my mom cry. I hate it when my mom cries and I am not going to act in front of my sister like it's all okay. What kills me is that she's always the victim in her mind and that's the way my dad (who's always taking her side) will see it too. What should I say to her?

I've seen problems such as these sent to us before. To be honest I do not think there is much of anything you can say to your sister that will change anything.

From what you have written I see your sister as a self-centered spoiled girl who blames others for her short comings. You write; “when she comes home,” I’ll take this to mean she is away at school. If I am correct she is in for a rude awakening when she enters the job market. Regardless of how good she may be at her chosen field if she acts this way at her work she will find herself being asked to leave their employ for employers will not put up with prima donnas or spoiled brats.

The best advice I can offer you is to continue to be there for your mom; to learn how to stand up for yourself with your sister. Especially when it comes to your health; being diabetic means you must be on a regimented diet routine and you know this. Your sister should know this too. You passing out in the middle of a shopping mall is not the way to teach her this lesson.

You wrote a good letter; one that tells me you know the right thing to do, which is to stand up to your sister when needed. To tell her where to get off when needed and to talk to your dad and open his eyes a bit about his first born daughter. Doing this all at once in one heated conversation is not going to have the effect you want, it will just roll off her back like water off a ducks back. What needs to be done is to stand up to her each time she steps out of line and tell her how wrong she may be. You’ll argue more with her this way but eventually, hopefully, the message will get through to her.

As for her drinking; here again you can talk to her about it but don’t expect anything to come from your conversations. Your sister may be a border line alcoholic or just a wild college student. I can’t say as I don’t know her well enough. If she is a border line alcoholic she has to admit to being one before she will seek help and stop drinking. What you can do for yourself, your mom and your dad if he wants. Is to go on line to QA-Anon and find family meeting you can attend. The URL for finding meetings is below. At Al-Anon or Alateen you will find other people like you and your family who are dealing with alcoholics. Through them hopefully you can help yourselves and your sister.

http://al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

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how would i get a girl to show me her boobs... can you please help me?

Given the fact that there is more than enough porn on the web; why do you want to insult your girlfriend by trying to make her show you her breasts? By doing so you are saying to her that you see her merely as a sex object and not the beautiful person she is.

Think about this. What if roles were reversed and every girl that asked you out asked you to pull out your penis and get an erection for her to look at? How would you feel? Don't go macho really think about it.

When she is ready, if she is ready, when she feels you love her as a person and not a sex object; she may then let you see and maybe touch her breasts but not before. Be a gentleman and treat the young lady with the respect her sex deserves and you will be much better for it. You will also have many a young lady chasing after you if you do so.

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Can people that cause a car accident be charged with a crime even if one of the victims live or die?

My aunt and uncle was in a car accident the other day. My uncle is fine, but my aunt's eye popped out, she broke her leg and she's unresponsive in the hospital. The doctor says she has fluid on her brain. My aunt & uncle were on the free way and 3 cars crashed together because someone's car stopped on the freeway and the second car hit the first car, the 3rd car hit the second car. The cars crashed because of the first car stopping in the middle of the freeway. If something happens to her can the people that caused the accident be sued and charged for what happens to her?

Short answer to your question is yes they can be sued if they caused the accident and under certain circumstances criminal charges can be brought.

Not all accidents that cause someone’s death is the responsible party charged with a crime. An example of this would be the accident that was in the news recently about a 75 car pileup that caused 3 deaths. The cause of the primary accident was fog. What the secondary cause(S) may be have yet to be determined.

For criminal charges to be filed there has to be some form of intent or other criminal wrong doing such as driving under the influence. An example of intent would be that the first car intentionally stopped causing the accident. If the car had an engine malfunction and the driver was unable to get to the side of the road, there would be no intent and most likely no criminal charges against the first car. The crash investigators would then look at the second and third cars to see why they were unable to stop or avoid hitting the first car. If the second car was able to stop and the third car hit the second car causing the accident and injuries the crash investigators would focus on car 3 to see why the driver of that car was unable to stop in time.

While it may be determined that car 3 is the car responsible for the accident it is still very possible that no criminal charges will be filed. That does not stop anyone involved in the accident and their insurance companies from seeking restitution from the driver of car 3 for damages and injuries.

For right now your Uncle needs to focus on your Aunt. He does need to report the accident to his insurance company, as soon as possible, and let them begin their investigation. When hopefully your Aunt recovers and is out of the hospital he needs to retain an Attorney who practices in the area of casualty law. Advise your Uncle not to speak to any of the Adjusters from the other insurance companies representing the other drivers. He tells them; “he is intending to retain legal counsel an when he has done so his counsel will contact them.” He needs to tell them those exact words. Once he tells them that they are not allowed to contact him again or you’re Aunt when she recovers.

Holding good thoughts for your Aunts speedy recovery.

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basically I booty-called this guy last night. we both definately went into it thinking we would just get laid and it would be a one-shot deal. but once he got here, and we were having a couple drinks to get acquainted, it took off really amazingly well. I totally underestimated this person based on appearance and who he hangs out with. he is super clever and his personal philosophies jive with mine in a way no one elses have. it was just one of those amazing nights, where you feel like you've known eachother forever. we had spookily much in common and a lot of the things he said are things I straight up thought NO ONE would ever agree with me on. It was a really great and totally suprising night, he got here at 8 and we were up until 3am talking, non-stop, and never ran out of stuff to say to eachother for a second. he was just as suprised as me.
anyways, there is just one problem. although I am mostly physically attracted to him, like I want to kiss and cuddle and he smells amazing, his arms feel great, ect.. but his penis is well.. just not the right shape for me. I won't describe something that personal in detail but it basically feels uncomfortable inside me.
the other thing is, we are both very sexually submissive. I have been with a guy in the past who was like that, and I remember it being a struggle. someone is always compromising because someone always has to be on top. and I guess just because I'm eager to please the other person, I normally end up being the one to compromise. but it seems like even if that duty were split equally, that still means, at any given time one of you isn't really getting what you're into from the sex. so I dunno.
the sex wasn't bad but it wasn't exciting for me. but the way I felt afterwards was really special. I am not normally a cuddly person and can only put up with a few minutes of being embraced outside of sex, most of the time. normally I let the guy hold me for a couple minutes and then I roll to my side of the bed and enjoy my own space. but last night was really romantic for some reason and for the first time ever I didn't feel claustraphobic or uncomfortable in his arms. he held onto me all night long and I just loved it.
so now I'm confused. what are these feelings? it's more then a friend thing. I'm pretty much dying for his company. I creeped all his facebook pictures today and he was on my mind all day, I told all my friends it was the best first date I ever had. pretty significant considering it started off not even supposed to BE a date in any sense of the word. but by the end of the night it felt like one.
anyways now I'm just struggling with it. is the penis thing something I'll get used to? and what about this problem with both being quite submissive? I have never found a way around it in the past. it just sucks that no matter how you do it, one person will be less into it, you know? does anyone have any suggestions about it, or if you have dealt with this yourself, was it a problem for you? it might seem shallow that I'm concerned about this. but even though it was just one night I'm really into the guy, and I don't wanna be on a crash course where it just can't work out lol. I felt a deep connection to him, but is an emotional and intellectual bond enough to bring about a better sexual one eventually? is it something we'll just have to work at, or is that futile? I know that most of the times you have sex with someone the first time isn't the greatest. But it's not a case of that. Anyways, just wanted to get someone elses opinion on this, I honestly thought about it all day and still got nothin :P

Note: When you and he are more of a couple and if you feel a long term relationship is going to grow from this relationship. A visit to a Urologist might be advisable to correct the bend in his penis. While you may become comfortable with the shape of his penis it is possible that the shape may cause him problems as he ages.


I have a basic philosophy when it comes to sex; it is all about communication. Of course this was intended to be a booty-call or a one night stand so talking before doing was not in the picture. Now that it looks as if this could grow into a relationship; you both have to discuss your likes, and in your instances of submissiveness, what compromises you can come to that will make sex work for both of you.

It appears that you have found someone who you can connect to on a great many levels, including sexual fulfillment, if you can find a compromise to one small area. From what you have written in the way you see him and connect with him in all other areas where you have so much in common. I would be very surprised that if you were forthright with each other on this one thing that you could not come up with a way to satisfy both your needs in this area.

As to his penis; what he has is what he�s got so to speak. Will you get accustomed to him being inside you? I believe you will; as your love for him grows and your continued sexual activity increases I believe you will learn to accommodate whatever shape his penis is. In any case now is not the time to bring this up to him. We men are just as sensitive about our penis as women are about their breasts.

Since you did not go into specifics as to the shape of his penis there is not much more information or advice that can be given. You could if you want ask you GYN more on this subject as far as your question as to whether you will get use to his shape. Your vagina and the muscles surrounding it are very elastic so to speak. If he has a small penis there are exercises you can do to control and tighten your muscles to grip him. If he is overly large you will stretch to accommodate him. As far as being large remember what is meant to come out of your vagina and it stretches to accommodate the exit of it.

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some say it is wrong for me to allow my wife to see her daughter because she committed a crime and is a bad role model now. But she is not defending herself or what she did was right or influencing her daughter to do crimes so I don't know If I can accept that. Again, also other than this misdeed, she was a great wife and mother. What do you think?

It is not what others think or say that is in question here. It is what you and your wife and your daughter want that is the concern.

Your wife made a mistake, committed a crime was caught and now is receiving the punishment that society requires. I believe that while it may not be a proper role model type of thing, seeing your wife being punished for her crime. Seeing what a real prison looks like and not what Hollywood depicts. I believe visiting her mom in jail a learning experience for your daughter.

In the end though the question of if your daughter should visit her mother is question only you and your wife can decide. You and your wife, regardless of her crime, are the people who know your daughter best and how visiting her mother in jail will affect her.

With all these questions you have asked me I still believe you would be better served by having your daughter visit a psychologist. I don't know you or your daughter and my answers are more off the cuff than any insight a therapist would have from talking to your daughter.

If you're employer has an EAP program your daughter would be able to have a limited number of visits with a psychologist at no charge. The usual number is 6 to 8 visits. This would be enough visits for the therapist to get some insight with your daughter and give you far more relevant views to your questions.

Most employers who offer group health have an EAP program. Ask you benefits manager or human resource manager.

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My question is can my girl friend move out at the age of 16? She gets emotionally abuse. Meaning her parents put her down , talk bad about her and too her ! They treat her like a slave make her clean everything while they sit there call her dumb , you dont now how to do this or that !!! Her father put up cameras so that she doesnt leave , or use her phone ! She even attemped and succeded to hurt her self because of her parents! Her father yells and curses at her because she texts me !! escrewed her windows so she doesn't open them & everything! Can my girlfriend of 16 years of agw move out?

The answer to your question depends on the age of consent in the state where you live.

Unfortunately the age of consent in most states had been raised to 18 so as to comply with the no child left behind laws. By raising the age of consent to 18 it means no child can drop out of high school until they are legally adults or they graduate, whichever comes first. It also means they are unable to many things until they reach adulthood.

As for the abuse she is suffering at home. Mental abuse is child abuse. She should talk to a trusted teacher or her school principal about her home life. There are certain rules that school officials must follow when notified of problems in the home effecting a student.

If you two attend the same school you could go to the principal and advice him/her of the problem. She would then be called in to discuss the home situation. If she denies anything is wrong then there may be little the school can do to help.

You could also talk with your parents about this. Your parents could if they so choose contact child welfare and make a report. Mental abuse is hard to prove unless the victim is willing to be truthful with the investigators. It is not always possible for investigators to gain entry to a home to see the other things such as the windows screwed shut, which is a fire hazard, and the cameras used to view her activities with in the home.

She would have to tell the investigators, the teacher or the principal in order for the investigator and child services to get a court order to enter her home and view this for themselves.

While unfortunately the answer to your question is no. There is help for her with this problem. The help starts with her reaching out to someone for that help like the people I named.

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So im 13/f and i turn 14 in a few months. Ive been facing alot of stress and ive started to cut alot lately. Ive been trying to find ways to cope with it. So i searched online for wayd to relieve stress and one of the most common was the pleasure yourself. I didnt really know what that meant so i did more research and this morning in the shower i thought about it. I thought it would be most sanitary in the shower so i lied down on the floor of the shower and tried it. Ive never actually touched down in my vagina so i was just making sure i put my finger in the right spot. So i used my middle finger and slowly eased it in to my vagina and it kind of stung b im so tight down there. I started getting used to it and started just moving it faster and faster in and out of my vag. It felt really good and i also at first started feeling around and moving my finger in there. People were right it does cause great stress relief! It felt really good but im not aure if i should continue. And should i start using 2 fingers instead of just one? Is it safe ? Is it usual to do this at this age?

What you are doing is called masturbation and is not only a good way to relieve stress it is an excellent way to learn about your bodies sexual needs and delights. I would suggest that instead of doing so by laying on the floor of the shower, that if you have your own room. You will find it much more comfortable and pleasurable if you go in your room lock your door so as not to be disturbed and masturbate lying on your bed.You need not worry about sanitary, your vagina is healthy there is not concern.

As to how to masturbate is really up to you. This is what I meant by learning about your bodies needs, likes and desires when it comes to your sexuality. Massage your clitoris as well as fingering your vagina to see if this increases your pleasure.

There is nothing wrong with this activity as long as it is done in private and does not become an all encompassing part of your life to the effect you do nothing else. According to a recent survey 85% of the population, adults and teenagers masturbate. Masturbation is part of foreplay when you are older and start to have sex. When this happens it is called mutual masturbation.

Masturbation is a great way to relive sexual tension and not have to risk getting pregnant by having actual sex with someone. So when you feel the need, relax and enjoy yourself you are apart of the bigger portion of the worlds population that does so.

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So, my fiancé and I have been engaged for probably 5 years. We have one daughter together and one on the way. I stay home, so I don't have insurance. We can't afford to pay for all the costs associated with being pregnant on our own. Obviously, I know you shouldn't be having unprotected sex with the chance of getting pregnant if you can't afford the baby. He keeps pushing for us to run to the courthouse and get married so I can be on his insurance and the problem is solved. Just, that isn't what I want to do, at all. I feel like it has bad news written all over it. I love him and I want to marry him, eventually.. Just not because I need insurance. I feel so stressed and crazy because I feel the way I do. If it isn't him pushing it, it's his parents.

I agree with your reasoning though I don't understand the why of your reasoning. You say, "I love him and I want to marry him, eventually." Just what is it you are looking for or waiting for?

If he knows that you do "eventually" want to marry him then I can also understand his reasoning for wanting to marry and get the health care you need so that his child is born healthy and without having to bear the cost of the medical bills. As the father of the first born and once this child is born the children are covered under his insurance.

As long as they are his children marriage has nothing to do with whether or not they receive insurance coverage under his employer benefit package. All he needs to do is witch his coverage to family coverage and name the children as his dependants. He can do this either when the plan renews, if has not done so yet or when this child is born.

As I said to begin with. I see both sides of this issue. What I can't see and therefore cannot offer a suggestion is the why you want to wait to marry him. Until you resolve this issue you are going to continue to be stressed and this is not good for your unborn child.

I guess the only advise I can give you is to resolve the issue as to why you want to wait. If you cannot resolve that issue then you might want to consider separation.



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my name is Rachel and I am going to be 24 on Thursday and I have been really depressed because my mom keeps telling me that I was molested by my father when I was only 3 years old but I don't remember it would I remember it when it happen when I was 3 when I am almost 24 now ? my dad's side of the family says she lying but of course they are going to take his side. I can't ask my dad about it because he died when I was 12. would they still have it on police records when it happed over 20 years ago and when he died almost 12 years ago? would they still have it at the pediatrician I went to ? my mom says she took me to doctor Collip but he is retired now but his son took over would they still have it in my files? Are the required by law to let me see my old doctor records from my pediatrician ? I remember bits and pieces . I remember that I rode in the police car from the head start I went to . I remember my dad being arrested right there in front of me but that's about it. I don't remember the actual event. my mom says he only spent one night in jail and only got 10 years probation. I wanted to know why he was allowed to live right behind me when their is a child predators law was the law the same in the year 1991 when it supposedly happened? I have been so depressed because this is the week mom said happened she said it happened a week before a turned 4. I have been thinking about killing myself I mean if my dad didn't love me then I am not worth anything to even be alive. I have been drinking confused about sexuality is this normal for what I am going through ? my dad was also in the Vietnam war could that have caused him to molest his 3 year old daughter with learning disabilities? please help me!

You have asked a very complex question which I will attempt to answer.

1. Killing yourself is the wrong thing to do. What happened when you were 3 did noting to limit your self worth or your worth to society then or now. If your father did molest you as a young child you were and are a victim and had nothing or did nothing to cause him to molest you. He was at fault because he and people like him that molest children are very sick people.

2. Stop drinking it will not solve your problem. What you need is help to resolve any issues you may have with what you are being told. I will not say your mother is wrong in bringing this up now. Though she is hurting you by doing so and because of this you now need the help of a professional therapist to resolve the issues that are now troubling you.

The therapist will help you deal with these issues and move on with your life. You cannot undo what may or may not have been done when you where 3. Now that you are more aware of what may have happened then you need to learn how to properly deal with them and the depression will lift.

3. Police and medical records are kept on file for any number of years. The police records are most likely archived. You will have to contact your local police station where you lived at the time to see how you obtain them. Court records are easier to retrieve as all you need is an approximate date of trial and the persons name for them to be retrieved. Court records are kept for quite some time after the case is resolved. Depending on how you court archives the files you may be able to view case in the courthouse going back over 100 years.

Doctors are required by law to keep patient records for a specific period of time. If your doctors son took over his fathers practice. Based on the law in your state you medical records may still be available.

I realize I gave you a lot of ifs, ands and maybes this is because the laws vary from state to state. If you truly want to review these records then you have some leg work to do to find out just how long each of these records by law must be maintained by the state. Your medical records if in the possession of the doctor are your records and you cannot be denied access to them. Police reports and trial transcripts are public records unless sealed by the courts or by law.

4. The laws that we have in place to day to protect children from predators are just about as old as you are. It wasn't that molestation was not a problem earlier than then. It was something that went unreported. As in many areas of life our school systems started to teach children for adults to touch you in your private places under certain circumstances. If an adult does touch you then you tell your parent, a teacher or a police officer.

This approach to teach this to children in school brought to light just how big a problem this was. Once legislatures saw the problem for was they passed a whole batch of new law to try and protect young children.

5. My advice to you is you seek the help of a professional therapist now that this has been brought to the front of your mind. This event and your learning disability may or may not be related it depends on your disability I would think. A therapist is better suited to answer that question.

6. Call this number; 1-800-656-HOPE. It is a hot line for victims of abuse and incest. They can help you find the proper therapist to help you in your home town.

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I can't swim-I'm 17.

Well we're going on holiday this year and theres a swimming pool there.

I really want to be able to swim, but I can't as I'm just terrified of the water. But I feel like an idiot surrounded by three year olds who can swim.

I know it's not a life skill, but how could I overcome this fear?

Your terrified of the water because you can't swim and you can't swim because your terrified of the water. It is a circular problem many people have to deal with. In some cases such as the previous writers friend a trauma at a young age has a lot to do with it as well.

What I suggest is you take swimming lessons from a certified life guard. This will give you the security you need to get in the water and learn to swim. If you are like most of the people who fear the water, can break that circle of fear by learning to swim, you will no longer fear the water.

Should the fear be deeper than this. Then I would suggest seeking the help of a therapist to talk out the fear and find the true cause of your fear. Swim is not only great recreation it is also a very healthy exercise. Getting over your fear of water would be an important step as many health clubs offer lap pools for swimming.

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My daughter has said she would like to visit her mother sometime and she is also interested in seeing what a jail
Is like instead of being scared to go. I think that is good and may be a learning experience for her don't you think

I agree

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