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hello
some say it is wrong for me to allow my wife to see her daughter because she committed a crime and is a bad role model now. But she is not defending herself or what she did was right or influencing her daughter to do crimes so I don't know If I can accept that. Again, also other than this misdeed, she was a great wife and mother. What do you think?
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I don't think it's wrong for you to allow them to see each other. She messed up, she's doing the time. It would be wrong not to let them see each other. She hasn't hurt your daughter or anything, and she is a great mother.
If your wife is sorry and knows she messed up, that makes her a good role model.
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It is not what others think or say that is in question here. It is what you and your wife and your daughter want that is the concern.
Your wife made a mistake, committed a crime was caught and now is receiving the punishment that society requires. I believe that while it may not be a proper role model type of thing, seeing your wife being punished for her crime. Seeing what a real prison looks like and not what Hollywood depicts. I believe visiting her mom in jail a learning experience for your daughter.
In the end though the question of if your daughter should visit her mother is question only you and your wife can decide. You and your wife, regardless of her crime, are the people who know your daughter best and how visiting her mother in jail will affect her.
With all these questions you have asked me I still believe you would be better served by having your daughter visit a psychologist. I don't know you or your daughter and my answers are more off the cuff than any insight a therapist would have from talking to your daughter.
If you're employer has an EAP program your daughter would be able to have a limited number of visits with a psychologist at no charge. The usual number is 6 to 8 visits. This would be enough visits for the therapist to get some insight with your daughter and give you far more relevant views to your questions.
Most employers who offer group health have an EAP program. Ask you benefits manager or human resource manager.
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