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Getting married only to get health insurance?


Question Posted Monday April 1 2013, 9:47 pm

So, my fiancé and I have been engaged for probably 5 years. We have one daughter together and one on the way. I stay home, so I don't have insurance. We can't afford to pay for all the costs associated with being pregnant on our own. Obviously, I know you shouldn't be having unprotected sex with the chance of getting pregnant if you can't afford the baby. He keeps pushing for us to run to the courthouse and get married so I can be on his insurance and the problem is solved. Just, that isn't what I want to do, at all. I feel like it has bad news written all over it. I love him and I want to marry him, eventually.. Just not because I need insurance. I feel so stressed and crazy because I feel the way I do. If it isn't him pushing it, it's his parents.

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Razhie answered Tuesday April 2 2013, 6:53 pm:
You've been engaged for FIVE YEARS and have two kids together.

What's the hold up?
Seriously.
What the hell is stopping you from marrying this guy?

And are you really going to compromise your health, and your future child's health, because after five fricking years and two babies, you don't know if you want to marry this guy or not?

Seriously. Shit or get off the pot.

If you want to marry him, then marry him, and enjoy the benefit of basic health care for you and your baby.

If you don't want to marry him, man up and face that reality. If getting married now, when it would have such a major benefit to your health and the health of your child, then maybe you have more serious concerns than just the timing.

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adviceman49 answered Tuesday April 2 2013, 10:31 am:
I agree with your reasoning though I don't understand the why of your reasoning. You say, "I love him and I want to marry him, eventually." Just what is it you are looking for or waiting for?

If he knows that you do "eventually" want to marry him then I can also understand his reasoning for wanting to marry and get the health care you need so that his child is born healthy and without having to bear the cost of the medical bills. As the father of the first born and once this child is born the children are covered under his insurance.

As long as they are his children marriage has nothing to do with whether or not they receive insurance coverage under his employer benefit package. All he needs to do is witch his coverage to family coverage and name the children as his dependants. He can do this either when the plan renews, if has not done so yet or when this child is born.

As I said to begin with. I see both sides of this issue. What I can't see and therefore cannot offer a suggestion is the why you want to wait to marry him. Until you resolve this issue you are going to continue to be stressed and this is not good for your unborn child.

I guess the only advise I can give you is to resolve the issue as to why you want to wait. If you cannot resolve that issue then you might want to consider separation.

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Xui answered Tuesday April 2 2013, 1:21 am:
This would be marrying someone for the wrong reason's. Thus reason will end up leading your marriage into a divorce somewhere down the line. Marriage is a sacred union, not something people do to solve a problem.

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