How do you manage to answer such imbecilic questions without snapping?
I try and reduce the question to what is essentially being asked - usually it's the details (and the spelling...) that make the question seem a stupid once. Once you realise a question is basically just 'I liked this guy, what should I do?' or 'I broke up with my boyfriend, but now I want him back...' it seems like a reasonable thing to ask. In times when I am irritated by a questions lack of... cohesion, I try and remember what I was like when I was thirteen and confused about boys and how little somebody I was asking for advice mocking me would have helped. And if I really can't think of anything constructive to say... well, I just don't respond. XD
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Ok- I usually am the one giving out advice... but I am stumped on my own problem. Well here is what happened:
I used to have a best friend named Justine. We hit it off great from the start. After the first month we'd known eachother, we spent the night at each other's houses almost every weekend. We had only known eachother for a year when the inevitable happened- but we'd shared so much together. I had told her all of my deep dark secrets, and she had told me some of her own.
Well- this summer, I had been at my cousin Ashley's house- and we had been chatting with boys on AIM. I told Justine about it when I saw her- and for some reason, she FLIPPED. She wouldn't talk to me, and she ignored all my e-mails to her.
This year, I went back to middle school, and Justine had changed completely over the summer. She had all these cheerleader friends, and she was acting like she was better than everyone else. She even sits in front of me in my English class.
This is where the problem comes in. I don't want to be Justine's friend anymore- she is such a brat- but I do want her to act civil towards me (in English she is always sighing, like she hated being around me- and she tells people, when I can hear- that she hates me). What can I do to make her stop acting so immature???
You and Justine might never be close friends again, but you are right in thinking it would be better for all concerned if she could at least be civil with you. Try approaching her at a neutral time (when she's not with her friends and has no reason to be extra defensive) and just say as briefly as possible that you'd like to forget whatever happened (even if you still don't know what turned her against you) and get along.
If she does continue to belittle you though, it's important not to rise to the bait, as this might make her worse. If her behaviour gets any worse than it already is though, you'd be better mentioning it to a teacher at school so they can monitor the situation. Best of luck!
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Ok my boyfriend and me had been going out for about...2 months...we had been pretty close friends for like 5 months before that. Well, he really was a sweet guy, but I kinda cheated on him with this dude...well not exactly, the guy kissed me. anyways, my boyfriend forgave me. but today he was like, "i think we should take a break. im not breaking up with u exactly, but i just think we should take a break for a while. i will probably want to get back with you in the near future." what do i do? wait for him??? im just confused right now.
In this type of situation, good communication is absolutely key. You need to talk to him about what exactly this 'break' means so that you are both on the same wavelength and expecting the same things, i.e. does he expected you to not see other people during this period? If you want to stay with him, you need to stick within the boundaries he sets during this period. However, you should also be using this break to think about your relationship - do you want to get back together with him in the first place?
The problem with being on a break is that it can turn into relationship limbo, where you are neither together or broken up, which prevents either of you moving on. This might not happen, but I think it's important to have a line set in your head where if you aren't back together as a couple by a certain point, you need to actually break up. But hopefully that won't happen and this break will be useful for you both. Good luck. :)
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im 12 nd ill be 13 on sept 5th nd im goin into 8th grade nd i kno im kinda young to say im " in love " but wen i was in 7th grade the 1st day of school i saw this kid dylan nd omg i went crazee nd couldnt stop tlkin bout him nd i kept tellin my friend that id never get him to look at me or even talk to me nd then we got called in r teams nd i swore i hurd my friends last name called nd i was like oh theres ur team nd then wen i was goin in my team it turns out she was in my class nd i thought i hurd her name b4 nd i was like whoops lol nd wen she got to my class nd i was like omgg im soo srii nd she sed ull be happy wen i tell u this .. nd she sed that dylan was talkin to my other friend frank nd sayin how hott i was nd i was like sooooo happy nd i couldnt breathe nd then soon enuff tha day b4 my bday he asked me out nd then we started goin out nd then i hurd one stupid rumor bout sumthenn he sed to me nd i believed it nd dumped him nd then we were still close nd then we went out again for a 2nd time nd then i got confused nd dumped him again nd then we were close again but then he gotta nother gf nd we didnt talk for a while nd then i realized wutta mistake i made nd how much i relii relii like him nd then he started sayin mean shytt bout me nd then after a while we became close again but he kept gettin new gfs nd now he has this gf hes had since like may nd i even tho i broke up wit him twice i still liked him nd havnt stopped ever since i saw him nd we talk on the fone a lot nd he tells me he still loves me nd tells me he always will but im juss soo depressed tha onli time i was happy was wen i was with him nd i want one more chance to prove how much i care for him nd i dunno wut to do .. his gf is from a diff town nd shes in a grade higher than him nd shes movin to our town now nd she needs to learn the school system so shes gonna be in r skool = \ nd i mean shes nicee but she has the one thing i love nd kare for nd ive never liked sumone for soo long in my like its almost a year! nd i relii want him back nd it helps that i kno he says he still loves me but .. wut do i do?!?!? plzz help
- sadd = (
You say you are in love with this guy, but you've broken up with him twice. Given what you've said about your personal history together, it sounds like it might be a case of the classic 'grass is greener' scenario - when you're together you realise things aren't that great, hence you break up, but when you're apart you forget all that and want him back. This is a perfectly natural and common emotion when you get into on/off relationships with people. I think, honestly, the best thing you can do is have some time on your own. If in a while you still have strong feelings for him, then you can reconsider any decide to talk to him about your feelings - but rushing in now will probably only lead to hurt, especially as he already has a girlfriend.
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Ok i have a really important question. i really want to have sex but i am not sure when girls can get pregnate. i have already have my period but is it after u get it wheil u have it or what?? plz help me
You are most likely to get pregnant just after you've ovulated. That's usually midway through your cycle, counting the beginning of your period as the first day of your cycle. However, women's cycles vary *enormously*, especially when you are young and it hasn't settled into a very regular pattern yet. There are hormone testing kits avaliable so you can predict when you will ovulate, but these are not very reliable. Basically, although at certain times of the month you are more likely to get pregnant(typically about a week after your period) having sex only at certain times of the months cannot be an adequate replacement for using contraceptions, such as condoms or the pill. To be safe and protected, you need to use contraception every single time you have sex.
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hey...i'm 17 and my b/f and i have been dating for 4 years. We really truly love eachother. I know it's true and i know he respects me. When we were 15 he wanted sex but i said no and he hasn't bothered me with it ever since. That's how i know he respects me. Also, i know he has never cheated on me so i know he's serious about this relationship like i am. I love him and i know he loves me. I guess my question is, i can tell he wants to have sex now and it's making me antsy. He wouldn't ever force me too but i'm afraid that he'll crack any second if we don't have sex. Should i have sex with him or should i stick with my morals and say no if it comes up. I really love this guy..what should i do?
I would have no problem with you having sex with this guy when you're in a steady and loving relationship if you wanted to do it yourself, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If you feel your ready and want to, then do it. You shouldn't however have sex when you don't want to because you fear loosing him.
Talk to your boyfriend before he brings up the topic himself. Tell him you have thought about having sex, and although you do love him, you don't personally feel ready yet. He'll appreciate your honesty and knowing where he stands. Talking about sex and your worries is also healthy for your relationship, and is especially important if / when you do decide to take your relationship to another level. Good luck.
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kelli u kno who this is, or atleast u should kno, but i'll continue anyways so other ppl can give me advice too...... i really like this guy who's 1 year younger then me. he says that he likes me too. the problem is, we dont go to the same school and i like NEVER get to see him! its hard to plan things because we're both busy ppl. we wanna try to date again when we go to the same school. but thats a looong time to wait and i dont kno what to do. i want to give up on it and try to like other ppl, but i still have feelings for him and may forever have feelings for him. what should i do, or try to do?? should i move on??
If you both like each other, you'll find time for each other in your lives. That will require effort on both your parts, but it's worth it it's what you both want. Talk to him honestly about what you want and how often you can see each other. You could try fixing a time each week that's 'your' time together, such as Saturday afternoons. Also, don't fixate on how often you can see each other. Being at different schools is a setback, but you can talk on the phone or online a lot, and hopefully that'll make the dates you do get to have all the more special. Good luck!
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well tomorrow is my school check in and pictures and im undecided on how to wear my hair for my pictures i know its a dumb fuckin question but oh well...anyways my hairs about a lil above my ...boobs or below my shoulders and its nat. wavy/curly sooo how do yall think i should wear my hair...down curly or down straight or up or what should i do with it (its pretty thick too)...oh and if yah need to know i think im wearin this pink v neck top w/ my hoops and i need some opinions!...thanks lol.
I think wearing it down in it's natural wavy state will look best. I think you want your school picture to resemble what you normally look like, so if you only straigten your hair for special occasions, leave it curly in your picture - you want people to recognise you when they look back in a few years! I also think naturally curly hair looks lovely on people, especially if you have a few nice tendrils falling forward to your face. Good luck!
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Ok, there's this guy that likes me. And he's the nicest person you would ever meet. He's so content with who he is. And i love that, and everything about him. But he's bisexual and it kinda creeps me out. I mean, im not homophobic and i love bisexuals and guy people. But i've never gone out with one, and i just think its kinda weird. Like i would kiss him, and realize that he's kissed boys before and stuff. I don't know. Is it bad that i don't wanna go out with him just cuz he's bi?
I think it's natural to feel slightly nervous and confused about having any new sort of experience. Maybe you just need to address why the idea bugs you - hopefully thinking it out will make you realise that it is just fear of the unknown.
I do think that it would be healthy to talk to him about it before you enter into a relationship with him - be gentle with him (being accepting of his sexuality is extremely important if you do have a relationship with him) but tell him the experience is very novel for you and although your working on it, there may be times when you are a little overwhelmed by things. Good luck!
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Ok, I know that this is a really dumb question, but I'm gonna ask anyways.
I went out with this guy for about 5 months. We broke up for a while (about 6 months), and now we are back together.
While we were broken up, I hooked up with a friend's friend from out of town. My boyfriend doesn't know him, and there is an outside chance that they will one day meet, but I'm not all that worried about that.
For some reason which I can't explain even to myself, I feel as if I should tell my boyfriend. I don't feel guilty about the hookup, because, well, we were apart. I guess I just feel that he should know. But I don't want to mess anything up in between us.
So... to tell or not to tell... that is the question? (Sorry for the cliche, I couldn't resist.)
I think if it's on your mind then you should tell him, as honesty and communication are two of the most important things in a relationship. I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of or feel guilty - as you've said yourself, you weren't together at the time, so there's no real reason to hide your actions. I think he'd be more hurt by knowing you didn't feel you could be honest about something like this then the fact that you had somebody else whilst you weren't together.
The way you bring up the topic is important though. If you just suddenly announce that you did see somebody else for a while, that might send him confusing signals. Try bringing up the topic of your breakup by talking about something neutral like some activity you did with your friends during the time. If he's open about talking about the time you were broken up, ask him in a non-accusitorial way if he saw anyone else then. That opens up a discussion where you can talk about what you did without "confessing" in a way that makes you sound like you have something you feel guilty about which you need to confess to. Good luck!
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Hey. I've been friends with a guy from school since as long as I can remember, and when we left school at sixteen we went to the same Sixth Form for two years. We've just finished those years and are awaiting our exam results. Anyway, when we started sixth form we became closer, and at around last Christmas we became closer still. Our relationship has developed into an amazing best-friend friendship, he's someone I'd trust with anything.
However, I have a problem. I know this is cliche and sounds corny, but I find myself attracted to him as more than a friend. We see each other every single day when it's possible. He makes me laugh, and vice versa. We playfight. We go places together, and are always having fun. We're always hugging and touching each other, and when I see him I can't help the stupid grin that appears on my face. The reason why I haven't told him how I feel is because he's going to a University that's quite a way away in September. One, I don't want to ruin these last precious weeks we have together by making them akward. Two, I don't want him to feel limited when he's away, like he can't go out with anyone else for fear of me finding out and hurting my feelings. I care for him so much, but I don't want to hurt him or myself. Should I get over it? Should I talk to him about it?
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
(p.s I'm 18/F and he's 18/M.)
I think, honestly, that it's better to talk to him about it, even if you come to the conclusion that you'd rather not loose what you have then live in regret - "it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't".
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is it normal for me to be crying over little things when i get my period??
unknown
I think 95% of girls can sympathise with feeling more emotional just before and during their period. You are normal - it's just the power of hormones. I find that just crying it out is often the best solution (especially when I'm not quite sure why I'm crying), but something like going for a light jog or having a cup of cocoa can also do wonders when you are feeling upset because of hormones.
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hey im a child star, which means that i do tv shows and commercials and stuff, and my agent called me and wants me to be in this movie...and this movie will take up 2 months of the school year..i cant miss school, but i cant miss this movie oppritunity. wht do i do? help!!!
This film sounds like a great oppertunity, but I think you need to take it on with the right attitude. You will have a tutor on set, but you need to be willing to put in a lot of hard work to keep on top, which can be tough if your working on set for several hours beforehand. Sit yourself down and asking yourself honestly whether you think you can cope with acting full time whilst completing your education. If you can see yourself letting your education slide because of work commitments, then maybe this film, as great an oppertunity as it is, isn't right for you right now. Whatever you decide, good luck!
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Ok im 13 gunna be 14 and i ahve a bf of ova 9 months and my mom doesnt let me do n e thing like evn if his mom iz there or n e thing i mean come on its like she iz tryn amake my life hell i have been goin to his foot-ball practices a lot lately like every night so i called my mom and asked her if i could go tonight and she sed NO!! so surprizing!! u kno cuz we r goin bra shoppin. WOW bundles of flippin fun!!! but n e wayz she was all like o yea when your sisters were your age they only gut to see there bf'z a couple times a week i was like come on man i go and watch him practice then i leave cuz i usually go wid my friend and i leave b 4 he iz dun so i juss watch him iz not like i get to talk to him and chill wid him and stuff like that!!! it makes me so........... MAD!!! i mean when my sista dannielle was 14 she went to her bf'z house when they had only been goin out for a month i mean come on i am almost 14 and i have been goin out wid my bf for ova 9 months so dont u think that when i turn 14 she should definatley let me go ova hiz house i mean hiz mom will be home n stuff man she makes me so mad some times!!!!! do u think she iz doin this on perpose??? and do u think it iz fair????? sry so long
It sounds like your mother is being overprotective, but the chances are that's really only because she cares and worries that you are growing up too fast. The best way to improve your relationship and get what you want is to talk to her about what's bugging you, and hopefully prove to her that you have the maturity to deal with a boyfriend. It's good to offer some sort of comprimise to show that your willing to negotiate with her - maybe say your willing to go to football practice less if you can do other things with him. Good luck!
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I'm going to my boyfriend's house sometime before summer ends..we're both 13..my parents don't know I have a boyfriend because I'm not aloud to..but I'm nervous about going over there..I've never even gone over to a guys house when were just friends with just the two of us! Does anyone have any advice for me, what can make me less nervous? I mean hes never done anything besides hug a girl..which of course was me and I was his first girlfriend, we dated before this. So I don't have to worry about him doing anything I wouldn't want him to do. I mean..im sure we're gonna kiss bcuz he said he wanted to and he said he wanted me to be his first for everything since I already was for the girlfriend and the hug..but any advice? I'll be online for a while on secretAsquirrel..thats not my normal sn but its the one im gonna be using for the time im at my friends house.
New experiences are nervewracking, so I fully sympathise. All I can say is just relax and enjoy yourself. It's likely he's nervous too, so just start gently with what you are both comfortable with, such as hugging together watching a film. If you are comfortable with it, let things progress to kissing from there. It might also help to do things you are familiar with beforehand (such as going to a place you've been to before on a date, like the mall or movies) so you feel chilled and relaxed before you go. Good luck!
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hey, okay hes the scoop,
My friend brittany likes this guy, and then my other " friend " is a slut, they have been hangin out alot and she had sex with this guy that brittany likes,then they stopped hanging out and everything, i don't balme her, brittany came to me and started saying shit about her, this girl ( the slut ) before she had sex with him didn't like this guy now she says she has feelings for him, and my firend brittany, shes always been betrayed by the slut, and the guy lieks the slut, how do i drive this guy away from the slut, and try to get him intested in brittany,
Honestly, I don't think there is anything you can do other than be there for Brittany. It's sad that she feels betrayed, but trying to force a couple together when the guy isn't interested will not be good for either party in the long term. Also, give this other girl and the guy a chance - of course you want to stand by your friend Brittany, but that doesn't mean you need to try and sabotage this guy's relationship or label his girlfriend a slut - after all, isn't she somebody you used to consider a friend too? I know it's hard, but you want to stay as neutral as possible and avoid getting personally involved, as it will most likely only make the problem more tangled. Good luck!
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i was hanging out in my back yard today without my shirt on (im a guy), and i got pretty burnt on my chest and stomach and arms. will this turn into a tan after the sun burn heals?
It will probably turn from red to tan, but because you've burnt the top layer of your skin, it'll only be a shallow tan and won't last very long. If you tan slowly over a few weeks using suncream your tan will be deeper and last longer. It's also good to use aftersun or moisturizer on sunburnt skin to speed up the healing process.
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hey . .umm like i like this guy and he likes me but we only talked online last year . .we were kind of shy at school . .but we've been talking all summer and all my friends say hes gonna ask me out butnothing ever happens . .do any guys kno whats going on. .? please help
-iCEd lAttE x0x
Building up a rapport with a friend online is an easy way to get close to somebody and experiment with flirting if you are shy about doing things in person, but if you are both ready to take your relationship to another level then one of you needs to get past the shyness barrier and ask the other one if you want to some time together. Your post assumes that the person doing the asking should be him - but if he's shy, why not ask yourself? It doesn't need to be a big deal. You sound pretty confident he's interested, so why not just suggest you spend some time together, such as going to the cinema? Alternatively, if you don't want to ask him out yourself, try being flirtacious (although not too over the top) and see what reaction you get from him. Be tactile and smile a lot, and hopefully he'll get the hint and ask. But honestly, it's cliched but it's true - if you want something done, do it yourself - it's 2004 - ask him out!
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hi. im 5'5 n 1/2 or something like that and i weigh 103 pounds and i know that im skinny but i want to lose weight. should i? do u think i might have an eating disorder?
It really doesn't sound like you need to loose weight. It seems to me that the greater issue is your body confidence - as others have said, why do you need to loose weight if you already acknowledge that you are slim? Try concentrating on what you like about your body, rather than what you dislike - try repeating things like "I have great hair/eyes/breasts" to yourself every day - hopefully you can break out of this cycle of wanting to change yourself and make yourself slimmer than you should naturally be, because being underweight can have long term consequences for your health and fertility. Good luck.
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Okay i'm having big trouble in this department...like how do I get a girlfriend or boyfriend (in general) I need serious help because yeah it's really eating at me and everyone says that there is someone in the world for everyone and I think i might be the exception to that...i don't know anything i don't even know how to talk to girls i would like even make some more friends but I don't even know how to do that.? help anyone please give me the whole thing...and thinking more about stuff gets me even more depressed.
I think everybody feels this way at some point, but you just have you have faith that it'll one day happen and take life and it's oppertunities as they come. In all honesty, I think the worst thing you can do is let this eat you up and let it control your actions - just try and keep it natural by expanding your social circles, talking to new people and being yourself. It's likely that once you stop thinking about it and relax your confidence will become very attractive. Good luck!
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