hey...i'm 17 and my b/f and i have been dating for 4 years. We really truly love eachother. I know it's true and i know he respects me. When we were 15 he wanted sex but i said no and he hasn't bothered me with it ever since. That's how i know he respects me. Also, i know he has never cheated on me so i know he's serious about this relationship like i am. I love him and i know he loves me. I guess my question is, i can tell he wants to have sex now and it's making me antsy. He wouldn't ever force me too but i'm afraid that he'll crack any second if we don't have sex. Should i have sex with him or should i stick with my morals and say no if it comes up. I really love this guy..what should i do?
12345 answered Thursday August 26 2004, 8:18 am: hi
it's really up to u if you want to have sex with this guy if you feel that it's the right time then go for it but if u are having second thoughts like u just said u don't know if he will crack or not but if he truly loves u he would not do that to u just be sure that you are fully ready so u don't regret what u did later on hope this helps [ 12345's advice column | Ask 12345 A Question ]
SweEtxvxMisEry answered Saturday August 14 2004, 2:24 am: i think that if you dont want to have sex. then if it IS brought up..tell him you want to wait. 4 years is a long time to be going out. and its normal for guys to want to have sex.but if he truly loves you then he will understand and respect you for it`! [ SweEtxvxMisEry's advice column | Ask SweEtxvxMisEry A Question ]
xo_dream answered Friday August 13 2004, 11:44 pm: STICK TO YOUR MORALS + WHAT *YOU* WANT TO DO.
Don't do it just because you think he wants to. If you think you're really ready and you're completely alright with it, than go for it, but don't do anything that you aren't positive you want to do. [ xo_dream's advice column | Ask xo_dream A Question ]
liddylflirtx3 answered Thursday August 12 2004, 12:01 pm: if you love him, and if you feel comfortable and ready to do it - have sex! lol .. but then there's the morals .. but if you're totally in love with him i say go for it! i hope i helped you! please rate me =) [ liddylflirtx3's advice column | Ask liddylflirtx3 A Question ]
xoBabiiGurlxo answered Thursday August 12 2004, 10:33 am: If you seriously do not want to do it, then dont. You told him no once before and he stuck around. He seems like a great guy. If he is as serious about the relationship as you say he is, he will wait until you are absolutly ready. Stick with your morals. You will feel great about yourself if you do. [ xoBabiiGurlxo's advice column | Ask xoBabiiGurlxo A Question ]
hailebop answered Thursday August 12 2004, 4:57 am: I would have no problem with you having sex with this guy when you're in a steady and loving relationship if you wanted to do it yourself, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If you feel your ready and want to, then do it. You shouldn't however have sex when you don't want to because you fear loosing him. <p>
Talk to your boyfriend before he brings up the topic himself. Tell him you have thought about having sex, and although you do love him, you don't personally feel ready yet. He'll appreciate your honesty and knowing where he stands. Talking about sex and your worries is also healthy for your relationship, and is especially important if / when you do decide to take your relationship to another level. Good luck. [ hailebop's advice column | Ask hailebop A Question ]
crystal200022us answered Thursday August 12 2004, 4:14 am: I definitely think you should stick to your morals. If you don't want to then don't and if he cares deeply about you and loves you then he will wait as well. I regret having sex before marriage. I was 17 as well when I did and fortunately I married that person but we both regret it because it wasn't as special on our wedding night. I hope this helps!
Crystal [ crystal200022us's advice column | Ask crystal200022us A Question ]
Here-To-Help answered Thursday August 12 2004, 2:54 am: BOTTOM LINE: stick to your morals...
I'm totally serious...not sticking to your morals is going against what your heart tells you to do..and that's not good. If he loves you he should wait...you BOTH should...
Sex is a special thing and just because you love someone doesn't mean it's all about the sex...you could love someone for 20 years before you have sex...and if it's really love you both would be willing to wait for each other...
I'm sure you and your boyfriend are very happy together..but, you never know how long the relationship will last. Personally, I believe in premarital sex but then again I don't...I don't believe a piece of paper saying that you're married should change what already felt like it was...but marriage IS a big deal no matter how people look at it. It's a lifetime commitment to each other and I'm not saying that your boyfriend would ever do anything bad to you but..he could leave you the second you lose your virginity...
Now, I'm not saying he will but its good to keep the relationship on hold and stuff..and to slow things down from time to time no matter HOW MUCH you both love each other...waiting will be sooo great in the long run...
The way I look at it is..if you wait until your married to share something as special as sex...it will be so much more worth it because it's like you both WAITED for eachother...that's the beautiful part...
You both love each other so much that you will wait to commit to each other before you have sex...and by the time you two are married you'll have so much to look foward to and it wouldn't be all the same thing...ya know?
I mean..sure you can have sex now but I mean..if you did there would be no excitement on your honey-moon night knowing that its not the first time..knowing that you will never have that same nervous but comfortable feeling the first time you do it...and its like its all been done before, ya know?
You know...it's totally your choice...it's all on you now. But, I'm just saying..no matter how much I love the person I would wait..because I want to feel that for the first time when I know the relationship is secure...I would wnat my first time to be after my wedding when you feel the love for eachother and you realize that you have both waited this long...and you love eachother sooooo much...
Good Luck...tell him what you feel...if he loves you he'll understand...
alderworth1 answered Thursday August 12 2004, 1:53 am: well i am a guy so my answer might be a lil diffrent from the others but i think u should just go ahead and do it just make sure it is under stood it's a one time thing anless u really wanna do it all the time cause i think it's obvious that he ain't just in it to get some so i guess if u really love him and u want to do it why not? but if u don't want to do it don't cause u will just regret it and that will just runin all the fun and could cause some problems between u two
kevin1986 answered Thursday August 12 2004, 12:31 am: If you feel its right to have sex with him,then I guess you should. I mean,I wouldn't because any number of things could happen,but you know in your heart whether or not you should do it or not. If you don't think you should,don't. Don't feel pressured into making this descision. If he's willing to break up the relationship for sex,then I guess he doesn't really love you after all. I can't tell you what to do,you're 17 and you're gunna do what you want anyway. In my opinion you're old enough to make this choice. But don't do it,just to please him. [ kevin1986's advice column | Ask kevin1986 A Question ]
cupidzxarr0w answered Thursday August 12 2004, 12:23 am: if yu`r readii to have sex wit him then do it.. nd if he truly does respect yu then he wait until 20 years frum now... dun jus give in becuz he wants yu to... yu wanna have to wanna do it to let him kno yu wanna please him nd show that yu care about him.. sex isnt jus anything.. its shuld be meaningful nd a way of showing love -haley [ cupidzxarr0w's advice column | Ask cupidzxarr0w A Question ]
Xo_Blondii_oX answered Wednesday August 11 2004, 10:52 pm: ok. not to be mean.but since he all of a sudden stop askin about it it sounds like he cheated on u.cuz guys onli stop askin for sex when they get it from u or sum1 else. Believe me i would kno it happened to me b4. Later Chico [ Xo_Blondii_oX's advice column | Ask Xo_Blondii_oX A Question ]
snowwalker69 answered Wednesday August 11 2004, 10:43 pm: Hey there. You got an awesome guy. Really, you do. Four years??? That's cool, that's cool. Personally, to me, sex is just a way of proving to someone you love them. It's not always the best thing to do, in some cases ... but yes, i think you have done a good job ... sticking to your morals. I think you should do just that ... stick to your morals. When you are ready, do it. I mean, you have a great guy, a four year history ... most girls who have had sex have done it without even knowing the guy very well ... lol. consider yourself lucky. lol. ttyl. [ snowwalker69's advice column | Ask snowwalker69 A Question ]
LaLa34lismchle answered Wednesday August 11 2004, 10:37 pm: i think this is a question u should answer on your own. if u feel ready and dont think ull regret it after and u really want to do it beacause u want to ant just because he wants to and u thinkhe might crack if u dont. im sure that he wont mind if u dont want to considering hes alreadi been with u for so long. he must be a great guy and u sohuldnt change your morals for anyone but if u really love him and thinks its the right decidion then go for it i guess ur not a lil kid like sum of these people who are 13 ....ur old enough to make this decision on ur own ...so do what your heart feels and not just what your mind feels. good luck [ LaLa34lismchle's advice column | Ask LaLa34lismchle A Question ]
dotdotdot32 answered Wednesday August 11 2004, 10:14 pm: you are a really lucky girl. alright. i definetly dont think you should have sex if you arent ready or dont want to. stick to your morals. he has to understand. i don't think hell crack like you said. he might be a little stir crazy tho. [ dotdotdot32's advice column | Ask dotdotdot32 A Question ]
lilmagoo8108 answered Wednesday August 11 2004, 10:10 pm: Well first of all let me say you got a good guy, don't let him slip away. This topic might come up sometime soon or sometime far you aren't ever really positive. If it is bothering you, you bring it up. The more worried you are that he is going to "crack" the worse it is going to make everything. It sounds like you have yourself a special one. If he has waited for 2 years, he shouldn't have a problem with any more if he respects you. Bring it up so that it isn't brought up in an uncomfertable situation. I don't think you should have sex with him because you think he wants it now. WHAT GUY DOESN'T? If he is truly respectful of your feelings he will have no problems waiting until you are ready. Good Luck and God Bless!
(If you need anything just drop me one in my inbox)
Megan- [ lilmagoo8108's advice column | Ask lilmagoo8108 A Question ]
AllyKnows answered Wednesday August 11 2004, 9:56 pm: Wow the lucky 4? Not many relationships last that long around them ages. You must really truly love eachother. I think it's the right time to talk to your b/f about sex and talk to him about why you arent ready to have sex and that you just arent ready. Make sure he knows you love him and that won't change. I know if he loves you he will keep from getting what he really wants. If he's been with you this long then it's definitly you he wants it's just that sex sometimes just seems right after a certain period of time to guys. They don't understand how precious virginity really is to girls. Just talk to him about it and stick with what you believe and if you believe you shouldn't have sex then don't do it. You know you'll regret it. If he loves you which i'm sure he does, he'll keep on respecting your wishes. Good Luck with the relationship he sounds great. Wish i had a guy. [ AllyKnows's advice column | Ask AllyKnows A Question ]
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