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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Im 13 and my boyfriend and have bren dating for 7 months now, and we haven't broken the touvh barrier yet. We hugged twice and thats about it

The answer to this question is an old saying: "Everything happens at it's proper time and place."

Frankly you two are a bit to young to be at the feel up stage, I think. Then again I'm old enough to be considered from the dark ages, since I am of your grandparents ages. When I was 13 we were playing spin the bottle and Post Office. I think I was closer to 15 before a girl let me feel her breasts and I was much older before a girls allowed me to put my hands under her cloths.

The answer is that if your boyfriend is ready to touch you. He may be afraid to because he is not getting or reading the signals properly from you that you are ready to let him touch you.

Like everything else in life being intimate with another person is a learned experience. We learn from each other the different, usually silent signals, as to how far we are willing to go. You might even tell him; "Johnny if you want you may touch my breast but be gentle and keep your hands over my cloths." He may ask you to rub his penis through his cloths.

This is called communicating and is how we learn from each other what the others needs or desires are. It is through this that you can tell the other what you limitations are so you both know.

As I said above, I think you are both to young to go beyond hugging and kissing. Forget what you may see in movies that is all fantasy. You both need time to mature and understand what you are feeling and the consequences of your actions.

We've been together for 9 years now, and I still get so frustrated with him. We have 3 children together, I do everything, house cleaning, work, take care of the kids, I keep up with the routines with the kids.
He watches television all day, does not help with the house, tells us what to do all the time, what to eat, drink, tells us to go towards health, that's fine for me but he does not do it himself, he drinks a lot, wants to start smoking pot again, sits on the couch all day.
I'm so tired of him telling us what to do, how to do it, what and how to say things to other people.
He tries to get angry when I try talk to him that bothers me about him. I feel his always against me in everything, he asked me questions about myself and my answers are never right for him.
He thinks he has me figured out but he has me all wrong, but he won't get that because I'm wrong.
He gets angry at the kids when they make mess and I don't like that because why should he have the right to be angry with the kids making mess when he won't take the effort to clean up.
He goods in many ways too, he provides to the family very well but it's changing too in that area, he's trying to be a stay at home dad while I attend college, which I think is making him want to be at home than working, I told its more benefit for the house if I'm at home, since I would keep up with the house work, and he says you'll have something to do after work.
I have no one to talk to, and I don't want to send bad vibes about him, just want someone to understand and what ways can change so that he will make changes for the better for himself and the family.
I've tried to talk to him about these stuff but it doesn't get anywhere, he won't accept it and not take responsibility. He can't even apologize.
I keep hoping for a great outcomes but it seems so far away.

Unfortunately the chances of changing your husband at this point are slim and none, and slim has already left the building. Why is he this way? There could be many reasons, the most prominent one is this is how he was raised in a home where mom did everything and dad sat there and barked orders.

Frankly it was how I was raised and being the only male child of a small family I was also spoiled by the entire family. The difference between your husband an me? Not all that much until I had a life threatening event and now I can't do much but since I am disabled and home all day I do what I can to lift the load my wife has to carry. I don't recommend your husband have a life threatening event as a wake up call.

If you want to change your husband you are going to have to make it be his idea. Some women withhold sex to get there man to cooperate. This does not work and puts you in a position of being raped by your husband as other women who have tried this have.

Instead you have to give him options or trade offs to help him make things his idea. An example might be something you cook that he really likes. If it is something he asks for often tell him that it is quite a bit of work and you have all these other things that need to be done, then list them. If he wants this meal bad enough he might be willing to do one or more of the chores you have to do that day in return for you making his favorite dinner.

Whatever it is find away to put him in the position of having to trade off for it. Eventually he you won't have to ask him he will just do it.

I'm an 18 year old male, and I could never even think about young girls sexually. But the other day at work, a girl came in with her parents and was clearly(by looking at her face and size) about 13 years old. However, she was very developed in every other way, quite well endowed, in good shape, in dressed in an outfit that complimented her features VERY well, and I couldn't help but be attracted to her. I would never try anything, because I know that it would be horribly wrong. But does the fact that I couldn't get her out of my head make me a monster? Or is it normal to feel that way under those circumstances?

No I don't think you are a monster.

It is a fact of life these days that young girls her age are growing up faster in every conceivable way these days.

When I look at young girls these days I try to remember if 13 and 14 year old girls looked like they do today when I was that age. I really don't think they did. Some of these young girls with proper dress and makeup can pass for girls 2, 3 or 4 years older than they actually are. If you could see some of the questions we get from girls of her age you would really start to wonder about girls her age and how fast they tend to grow up.

No you saw her for what she was a 13 year old girl dressing above her age. Who also was attractive. This does not make you a monster.

I used to feel accomplishment in anything I did. I would clean and re-do my room and it would make me feel awesome. It was the best feeling in the world. Today I cleaned, I studied for exams, I learned another song on the piano, downloaded some great songs on my iPod and I baked for my family. Nothing... I can't get happy. Mind you I have exams and I've been so stressed but that should not be as big of a deal as I feel it is. All of a sudden I feel as though this summer will define the rest of my life and this fear is affecting everything I do. I'm so nervous that I can't even enjoy the little things. How do I burry my funk?

It would be easier to answer this question if I knew your age.

Is it possible this is your final year of high school. If so I would not worry to much as to how you are feeling. You are probably a little stressed out as one chapter of your life is closing and another chapter is opening.

If I am correct in my assumption then what might be happening is this. You see some of the comfort zones you have developed over the years are dissolving for you may be going off to college in the fall or you need to go out into the adult world and find a job upon graduation.

Fear of the unknown is normal and a bit stressful especially when you add in the stress of final exams and graduation. The funk you find yourself in will pass as the stressors of today are removed as they pass. The fear of the unknown, well that to will pass will come to pass and you will end up most likely being very annoyed with yourself when you find out you had nothing to fear.

If you are going on to college you will find this is a wonderful time of life. A time to spread your wings a bit and enjoy some of the freedoms that come with being a young adult attending an institute of higher education.

If you are not going on to college but intend to go out into the working world. Then I ask you to reconsider. There are many reasons why you may not be going on to college. One may be affordability. If so I urge you to investigate your local community college. Speak with the financial counselor their as there are many grants such as they Pele grant and others that can be applied for that will pay for a good portion off the tuition. Then there are also student loans that will pay for the rest.

An AA degree is far better than no degree in today's job market. While the community college is considered to be a two year school many students are taking three years and a lighter class load so they can work and study at the same time.

Like I said without your age I am guessing. IF I have guessed correctly you really have nothing to worry about. If I'm wrong write back to me and I will try to give you a better answer once I have more information.

I have all the friends in the world. Ever since I was basically born I've had many friends and always been satisfied. Until I turned 17 and my life and future began flashing before my eyes. Nervous and terrified, all I needed was someone to talk to. That's when I realized that I can't talk to anyone I know now. I've had some good friends in the past ones that I probably could have talked to but as the course of life would have it they all became really distant. I feel so alone trying to deal with everything I feel I need to do. Pressure from all over is coming at me. My parents and my grades and university and keeping close with friends trying not to lose any. Being the best I can. This website seems to be my only hope of letting it all out. I guess all I really need is someone to just say something to me.

Your right this is a tough time for teenagers. Many find this a very stressful time and need someone, anyone to just listen to them and let them get whatever is stressing them off their chest.

This someone can and in many instances should be a clinical psychologist. Someone totally removed from you who can sit back an listen to what you are finding stressful and help you gain control over that stress and deal with it.

Your not crazy, far from it. What a psychologist is; is someone who is just far enough removed that they can see the forest for the trees that you are missing. They can with the training they have help you see the forest and the trees. To help you put the order on things that you want.

All your life someone else has been telling what to do, when to do it and where and when to go. Now you are facing the prospect of doing most of this for yourself and it is a scary and stressful event.

Yea I'm being a little over dramatic but for the most part I am being truthful. Someone, either your parents, teacher or a coach has been their to tell what the next thing you needed to do was. Someone was there to prioritize for you if need be.

You have been doing all this for yourself for probably quite some time with one exception. The safety nets, parents, teachers and coaches have always been as close as a shout away. Going of to University puts your biggest safety net, you parents, much father away.

You may not realize this but this is biggest stressor in teenage life. A psychologist is someone you can be totally open with trusting in the fact that everything you say is kept totally confidential. You can tell the psychologist your deepest secrets and they will think none the less of you. They will ease your fears and help you put things in the order you want them to be I. The order that is right for you not what other people are telling you is right for you. In other words they will help you make the transition from total dependency, which has been your life to date, to semi-dependency which is the future for the next few years.

My advice is to seek out a psychologist. your parents EAP program at work will pay for this.

How do you feel about tipping?

I know this may piss some people off but I do not tip. I believe one pays for service when they dine out in the cost of their meal.

I am not looking to hear how ignorant I seem to be, I am looking for opinions.

Your thinking is off. The cost of the service worker is not included in your meal. They work mostly for tips.

Service workers such a wait staff at restaurants, Bellmen at Hotels and Skycaps at Airports are exempt from the Federal Minimum wage laws. This means they are generally paid far less than the federally mandated hourly wage. Most servers are paid about three dollars and change an hour; counting on tips to make up the difference between what the restaurant pays and a living wage.

The generally accepted tip for a sever is 18% of the untaxed total of the dinner check. If the service is excellent you can add to that amount to show the sever your appreciation for good service. If the service is poor you can show your displeasure by reducing that amount. You should take in to account how many tables the sever has to care for. If the sever is caring for more than six tables at a time the restaurant is under staffed and poor service may not be the servers total fault.

If the food is not to your liking that is not the servers fault. The server only serves they do not prepare the meal. Ask to see the manger and voice your complaint to the manger. The manger may adjust the check for that part of your meal you did not care for. You would still base your tip on the total of the check prior to the adjustment. I have had managers void checks in total for a bad meal asking me to just take care of the server. In those cases I usually over tip to show the server it was not their fault.

With Bellmen and Skycaps the accepted tip is two dollars a bag. For all other situations there are several good books you can read on proper tipping.

I am 13 and I want to give my boyfriend an erection. We have been dating for 10 months now, and PLEASE don't be concerned or tell me that I'm too young!!!!!!!!!!

Whether or not your boyfriend gets an erection is all to do with him and really very little to do with you.

If he has started to go through puberty just being around you and making out, kissing and hugging should be enough to give him an erection.

Now most teenagers are in to puberty by your age, but not all. Some are late bloomers and do not hit puberty for another year or more. It may also be that you don't see his erection because of the way he wears his clothes or the size of his penis when erect. If he is erect you should be able to feel his erection when close to him.

If he is not erect I would not say anything to him about it or question him as it has all to do with him and nothing to do with you. The average teenage male going through puberty will get four or more erections in an hour for no reason at all other than hormones. So if he is not becoming erect when around you he is probably aware of this and probably finds it embarrassing.

It will happen for him his body just has to catch up with his chronological age. Until it does there is no reason to embarrass him. If he does bring it up then you might suggest when he turns 14, if he is embarrassed to speak with his parents about this. He can on his own seek out a doctor, a Urologist or Endocrinologist to find out if there is a physical reason for his problem.

When a teenager turns 14 years of age they come under a federal law known as HIPPA. Within this law is a section covering teenage reproductive systems which gives teenagers 14 years of age an older. Medical confidentiality to seek out a doctors care for questions and or treatment for anything related to their reproductive system.

This means you do not need parental permission to see a doctor for anything relating to your reproductive system. This includes asking for birth control medication. All visits to the doctor for this type of visit is totally confidential and no one, including your parents can ever see these medical records without your expressed written permission.

One other thing: Your mom can force you to see a doctor, GYN, at any time she may feel you need to or she what's you too. Once you are 14 all you have to say to the doctor is; I invoke my rights under HIPPA" and the doctor will not examine you unless mom leaves the exam room and then mom will not be told of the results of the exam unless you give written permission.

Congress did not write this into the law to promote teenage sex. The did so to promote young people to seek out a doctors care when needed even when they were to embarrassed to tell their parents why when related to their reproductive systems.

So if by age 14 your boy friend is not able to get and maintain an erection. If he is too embarrasses to speak with his dad or mom about it. He can seek out a doctors help without asking his parents permission.

Do not volunteer this information. Only do so if in the course of conversation you can do so without embarrassing him.

Why do my shoulders hurt when I drink alcohol?
I don't usually drink, and I've never been drunk. I've only been slightly buzzed twice in my life, and both times, my shoulders start to hurt. I drank a pint 8 fluid oz of smirnoff. I don't drink hard liquor. I rarely drink wine coolers and stuff. Why do my bones ache?

First none of us are doctors so we can not make a diagnoses.

Second there is really not enough information here to even make a good guess. Information such as how old are you. What are you doing when your drinking.

One thing I can say is every one reacts differently to alcohol consumption. If you are under age and drinking your reaction just may be normal for your body is sending you a signal. If your an adult this may be something you want to discus with your doctor.

If you are under age I would suggest you stop drinking until it is legal for you to do so. If the pains come back see a doctor.

I am a 24 year old girl who is dating a 25 year old boy for 5.5 years now.

in the last 3 years I have had mixed feelings for him. I have lost interest in our relationship and wanted to break up but I didn't have the heart to hurt him. I have thought about other guys and wanted to see what else was out there. we had breaks in the last 5 years and have suggested to break up but he didn't want to so I stayed and we made up.

we are currently on holidays and its still early into our trip and I feel Unattracted to him. I don't want to be with him but I can't tell him now whilst on holidays.

his a great guy. his nice and caring. doesn't get angry at me with me for whatever I've said and done. he puts up with me. but there are other traits I want in a partner that he doesn't have. when I am angry he doesn't ask what's wrong. he tries to pretend nothing happens. we don't talk as much as couples do. when I try to make a conversation I get short answers like "ok" or he just laughs, it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall most of the time. his not romantic or spontaneous. we joke a lot & that makes me feel that we're more like friends than couples. I know it's my fault too but I really can't see a future with him, not a happy one at least.

I don't know if I was even in love..

I don't know how to break it to him. I get emotional when I need to express it verbally.

is it too late to start over with someone new? .....

I don't know if it is ever to late for anything. Your boyfriend also sounds like a great guy who will take care of you and someone you could raise a family with. It sounds to me more like the seven year itch has come to you a bit early.

I can't tell you what to do this is something you have to decide for yourself. What I can do is suggest you two seek couples counseling. There must have been something there in the beginning. Now five years later you or at least he has fallen into a comfort zone.

My wife and I will be married 42 years as of next month. To be honest we do not have much to talk about. I was disabled eleven years ago in an auto accident and forced to retire early. My wife still works so I stay home all day with the dog. We no longer have our two jobs to talk about. Over dinner she tells me about her day. Mine really doesn't vary. We discuss the news or some current events, maybe something that is going on in the family. All of this doesn't take up much time. Then we sit down to watch TV and maybe we discus tomorrows dinner.

What I'm trying to say is we do not need to do a lot of talking. After a time a certain comfort level comes about where just having the other person near you is comfort enough. No discussions beyond what is necessary is required. We have moved beyond that which is required of dating.

As for spontaneity; that would be nice and I can see your need for it. This is where couples counseling comes in. I am suggest this because it may just be you are throwing the baby out with the bath water. You may just be giving up on a relationship that has become complacent or fallen in to a comfort zone and you don't know how to address it. A competent couples counselor can help you fix this.

Hey guys
So i am 16 and moved to this state 3 years ago and one of my guy friends has had a crush on me ever since i moved here. I dated him once and it only lasted 3 months. I only see him as a friend and nothing more but he just cant accept that. I have had a few boyfriends since i last dated him and i am currently in a happy relationship with another guy. My problem is, my friend is ALWAYS telling me how much he likes me and how he cant get over me and stuff like that. He says that over texts although when we talk in person he just acts like a normal friend. I have told him a million times I ONLY LIKE HIM AS A FRIEND AND I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. he just doesnt get it -_-. Its been going on for 3 years and i want to keep him as my friend cuz he is fun to hang out with and nice but what do i do??

The best way to turn off a guy who won't take no for an answer is not to tell him you see him only as a friend. Tell him, "I like you like I would like a brother."

You say or text that line just as I typed it to any guy and you will shoot him down faster than any missile would shoot down a fighter jet. The last thing any guy wants to hear is he is seen as some girls brother.

What you are saying to him in not so many words is: I see you as a member of my family. You will always be someone I love and trust as a family member, a confidant. What he also hears is that he will never ever have a chance at love or sex with you which at his age is what he is looking for.

I can't be certain that he does not truly have feelings for you. I am certain that his feelings are more lustful than actual love. For guys his age still think more with the head in their pants then the one between their shoulders.

My advice is to tell him you think of him as a brother. If you do this it is my belief that the problems you write about will disappear almost overnight.

Hey im usinng my sisters account lol but anyway im a guy im 17 and my girlfriend is 16. We get intimate alot and we go up to my bedroom and do oral usually. Well for two days now when i asked to go up to my bedroom she made up an excuse that she was too tired or that she wanted to watch a show on tv but she never did that before. When i finally convinced her to come up to my bedroom she wouldnt let me eat her out or finger her. She always tells me when she is on her period and i asked if she was and she said she wasnt. When i tried to reach to finger her she quick stopped me and said she would rather just give me a blowjob today. Thats fine by me haha but i cant figure out why she was acting like that...

Your girlfriend is the only one who can answer this question for you. The only thing I can think of is that she may have gotten tired of hiding in the bathroom to have sex with you.

One thing all women need to have an enjoyable sexual experience, be it oral sex or intercourse is the feeling of security and being comfortable. I don't think sneaking off to the bathroom is neither comfortable or offers the level of security she may be looking for or needs. It may have been exciting at first but not anymore.

For girls/women comfort and security are paramount when it comes to love making. It is much different for us guys. We will whip it out almost anywhere the opportunity arises. Your job as a caring lover is to see to your gals comfort and security if you want your gal to take care of your needs and hers. It is really just that simple.

Im fourteen, he's thirteen. We're not dating, he's just a friend. He kept trying to finger me, so I finally let him. I was kinda horny, and having been fingered before knew it felt good. But it was so embarrassing. He couldn't get his finger in! So I stuck my hand in my panties, and kinda shoved his finger in there, but then it was barely in, and the way he was doing it just HURT. Afterwards, I was so sore. Then he tried to eat me out, and it was like he was just sucking and licking. But it wasn't normal, I got no feeling out of it, and it was just sloppy and awkward. He also cannot kiss! It's like he's trying to eat my face. He gets the whole side of my mouth wet, and practically gags me with his tongue! I never want to do anything with him again. If he tries what do I do? Tell him why? Or just say no?

The best thing is to just tell him to stop. When anyone in any type of situation that is intimate says stop, it means stop. This is something we all must learn as we work our way through the different parts of being intimate. Stop means STOP and no, means NO.

Telling him to stop or saying no to the suggestion of being intimate is far better than hurting him by telling him he is a poor lover. Like everything else in life being intimate is something we learn to do. While I believe you are both to young for going as far as you did. It is understandable that at his age he may be very inexperienced and is why you had a poor experience.

At your age you should both be in the make out stage where maybe you let him feel your breasts. You should not be letting him finger you and having oral sex is way beyond the point you should go. There are a variety of reason why I say this.

For one thing oral sex will easily lead to intercourse which means you can and very possibly will get pregnant. For the other thing young boys can not keep a secret. If you have the type of sex you had with him, oral sex is sex. You will soon have a reputation you do not what or need. One that will stick with you for the remainder of your time in school. You will be popular for all the wrong reasons.

As I said intimacy is a learned event in life. As all other things in life what we learn in life is a lot like an algebra problem. You need to go step by step or you will not get the right answer.

Slow down, your a young teenage girl. Sure you have all these hormones running through you that make you feel the need for sexual relief. That is what masturbation is for. It is safe and it allows you to learn about your own sexuality as well.

According to a recent survey 85% of us masturbate, this would include your parents. Although they probably practice mutual masturbation as part of foreplay which oral sex is part of. Masturbation is not evil and most organized religions, including the catholic church do not condemn it.

My advice is to slow down with boys. Play hard to get. Keep there hands and mouth and other parts above your waste. Keep your cloths on and use masturbation for sexual relief.

Why do guys always try to pull my pants/shorts down? Like no kidding this is the fourth guy now to try and do it. Like i will be at his house and then we go upstairs and he will just quickly reach out and try ro yank them down but i dont let it happen

I really can't answer that question for you beyond the fact that you may be picking the wrong kind of guys to be with. Somehow these guys you know have gotten the impression you are a different kind of girl then you are. The best way I can think of to stop this is to find a different group of boys within which to chose to date from.

One other way to stop this is to charge one of these boys with attempted rape. For that is the direction they could conceivably be going if you were unable to stop them. The other thing you can charge them with is sexual harassment for that is what has happened by pulling your pants down.

You have not given your age. Though even if you all are minors; their age does not protect them from the charges I have suggested. They can be charged as juveniles or adults which would be up to the prosecutor and the courts to decide.

If somehow someone has tagged you with a reputation; charging one or all of these boys with the charges I mentioned above will definitely put a stop to the harassment you are suffering. I would suggest you speak with your parents about what is happening to you and let them help you with this. Even if you are an adult your parents are a good source of help in these situations.

Hello,

My sister is 36 and I am 28. When we were younger we did't have the best relationship but it was fine. She is an alcoholic, everyone has tried to help her but does not want to seek help.
It was my nephew's communion last weekend and I found she drank a little too much 2 bottles of wine, myself and everyone else did not say anything because she would get angry, and say its her house she can do what she wants. The next day I decided to email her about my concern and said I no longer want to be a part of her drinking. Our whole family is concerned, have apoken to her and she gives empty promises and lies about it. She always argues with everyone and she's always right, and their wrong. She doesn't see what she does to people, or admit to anything, and if she does which is rare, she says sorry, but how many times can you say sorry, after a while it gets old. I have never gotten an apology.

She went off and blew up at me, told me to mind my own business, I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm rude and so on, she didn't say nice things to me, lets put it that way. This is not the first time we have argued, I can name many things she has done to hurt me and I have forgiven her, their have been times where we do not talk to months. Everytime their is an arguement I always make an atempt to reconcile, as she NEVER has.

I am getting married next March, and I have just about given up with my sister and don't want to be a part of her life until she cleans up her act. I feel that what is the point of inviting her to my wedding.

If anyone has any advice how to go about this, or any advice I am very happy to here the:)

Thank you,

I can't advise you on whether or not to invite your sister to your wedding. This is something you and your future husband must decide as it is your day and you have a right to make it a happy occasion for you and your families.

What I will suggest is this. Your sister is a problem drinker, most likely an alcoholic. As with most alcoholics you can not make her change or see the fact that she has a problem. You have to wait until she asks for help. Unfortunately this usually comes when the alcoholic hits bottom; which is different for every one.

What you can do in the mean time is find an Al-Anon meeting near you to join. Al-Anon is for friends and families of problem drinkers and other substance abusers. Through group meetings you learn how others deal and have dealt with problems you may be dealing with.

By attending meeting near you, you may just find the answer you are looking for as to whether or not to invite your sister to your wedding. I realize how hard a decision this is for you. Hopefully by speaking with others who have faced this same decision and finding out how they have dealt with it; you will be able to make your decision.

Below is the URL for the Al-Anon meeting locator page.

http://al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

I hope this helps. Congratulations on your up coming wedding. Best of luck to the both of you. My wife and I will have been married 42 years next month.

My friend had a huge fight yesterday.
And he told me, today he's been coughing up blood. Not like when you slit, then it's a bit red, really he coughs the blood up. Should I be worried? :s
I told him to see a doctor but he refused.
Does the fight cause this?

Zane is correct. Coughing up blood at any time is a sign of internal injuries. This is a sign of possible life threatening injuries and 911 should be called immediately.

I'm a retired fire fighter first responder. Please tell your friend to call 911 now, do not wait. He does not need to ask his parents permission to do so. The longer he waits the more life threatening these injuries can become.

Not knowing where or how hard he was hit it is hard to say what may be bleeding. Assuming he was punched in the stomach. He could have injured his liver, spleen, kidneys or even his pancreas. These all can or could be life threatening injuries if the bleeding isn't controlled or stopped.

This is one of those cases where if he won't tell his parents then you need to tell them for him. It is better to have a live friend who may be mad at you for a while; then attend his funeral.

Yes it is that serious.

Am I weird? All the people at my school and most my friends say that I'm mental and should be put into a mental facility. They all think that I'm weird and odd because I don't act like everyone else. I'm confused. I'm a free-spirit but I don't know what is wrong. Please help...thank you!

One of the nice things about life especially living in a free society as we do. Is the fact that we do not have to be a carbon copy of everyone else. We can be a free spirit as you describe yourself. This does not make you mental or a mental case. Besides who says they're right and you're wrong. It just may be you're the sane one swimming in a pool of insanity.

Just because your friends and others chose to comply with what they believe is the way they should be does not mean you are wrong. Some of the greatest inventors of all were free spirits and free thinkers.

Were would we be today with out people like, Alexander Gram Bell, Sir Isaac Newton, Henry Ford, Joseph Salk, Louis Pasteur and many others. Many people thought these people to be eccentric or free spirits even mental. Yet without them life as we know it today would be much different.

Just because you have decided not to comply with what they believe to be the way to live, does not make you mental. Ignore them, find other friends or just tell them to buzz off.

Who knows later in life you may be the one to find a cure for the common cold. Then what will they say about you?

I got my report card today, I got 1 F, 2 As, And 2 Bs. My mom is freaking out on me, and I've never gotten a bad grade before, I'm an A-B student. But Algebra 2 made no sense to me. I struggled with it and my mom is talking about grounding me the whole summer and all this stuff. I don't know what to do I feel like I've failed at life and that I'm such a moron.

You are not a moron so lets get that out of your head right know. Algebra 2 is hard for many people. You cannot be a moron if in all other classes you are getting A's and B's.

Not knowing you or your school it is hard to say if you failed algebra or if the school system and the teacher failed you. I went through this with my own son not all that long ago. It wasn't until he was in college taking algebra 2 in a make up class that he finally got it, with the help of a good teacher, his girlfriend and a computer program.

Now I can't say mom is right or wrong if she wants to ground you for the summer. She is your mom and it is her call. I think when she gets over being upset and realizes that the problem may not be you she will be more gentle in any punishment she decides upon, if any.

What I suggest is this. If it is affordable for your parents; find one of the learning centers that specialize in math tutoring. You and your mom, and dad if able, should go and speak with them about the problems you had in this class. Then you should be enrolled in one of their courses for algebra 2 help. They may suggest you take the class over next year with them tutoring or they help you over the summer and then arrange for the possibility to test out of the class in the fall.

I do not see going to summer school as the answer. If you had trouble with the class in the 180 days of instruction. How are you going to do any better in the 6 weeks of instruction over the summer? These professional tutoring schools use different teaching methods and one on one instruction that makes learning this subject easier.

So my advice is to give mom a chance to calm down then talk to her about what I have just written about. Most importantly is not to feel bad about yourself. You are not a moron. In fact ranked nationally you are among about 45% of teenagers who had trouble in this course. Do to my way of thinking they system may have let you down.

Well Im 13 years old and Im in 7th grade almost 8th . This boy who is in 6th entering 7th is like my bestfriend and I just recently got his number last week . I was texting him having a friendly conversation then he asked me what sexting was and I told him . He then said he would like to try it . He sent me a picture of his dick and I was too nervous so I sent a picture of my bent elbow . Yesterday , out of the blue he asked if I would ever have sex with him and I said yes . Then I asked and he said yes . hard . Next... He asked me to have sex in the bathrooms . and I said yes . Im very nervous and I don't want anyone to know about it because then Ill be called a slut and stuff . Should I do it ?

Quick answer to your question is no.

You are both way to young to be having sex. The risk of you becoming pregnant is way to high. Think about this; how would you feel being a mom at 14 or being forced by your parents to have an abortion.

You are to young to make your own decisions should you get pregnant and your parents wishes would be forced upon you. If they want you to have an abortion you would have one. If you wanted one and they disapprove of abortion you would be forced to have the baby.

It is really strange that you talk about sexting and sending of a pornographic picture. In today's Washington Post I read about 3, 16 year old boys living in Virginia who were convicted of sexting and child pornography. Sexting is illegal as is sending or receiving child pornography.

Your friend is guilty of, producing, since he took the picture, and distributing child pornography since he sent the picture to you. You as the recipient of the picture are now guilty of being in receipt of child pornography.

Being under age does not protect you from the charges I just wrote about. These charges are felony charges and carry among the punishment having to register as sex offenders for the rest of your lives.

The police are targeting young people as they are the main offenders. Social media sites such as Facebook and others are cooperating with the police to find people who are doing this. Not just because it is illegal but because some of the people doing so are not who you may think are. Some of these people are actually adults pretending to be teenagers, pedophiles who are out to hurt children.

You wrote; "This boy who is in 6th entering 7th is like my best friend and I just recently got his number last week." If this boy is your best friend how is it that you just got his number? This makes no sense to me.

Something does not sound right here. Do not agree to meet him anywhere. Do not text him any more. In fact if you have never seen this boy fact to face and talked to him face to face then I deeply suggest you tell your parents about your texting and what he is asking of you. Let them take it from there. There is something very wrong here from the way you have written it and you could be in danger.

Hi , Im 13 years old and I just started smoking marijuana this year . My friends don't know about it , nobody does . I went to school high one time and everyone thought I was just tired and left me alone . I don't know if I should tell people my secret or not . Im scared it will spill out to my parents or something .

You have every right to be scared and not just because your parents may find out.

Marijuana is an illegal substance in most states. Even in states where it is legal to posses it you are to young to posses it. So in order to smoke it you are breaking the law. IF caught you can be'

1) expelled from school

2) arrested for possession

3) you could be placed in to juvenile detention

Having your parents find out is the least of your worries. Teachers are trained to look for students who might be abusing drugs. Yes; marijuana is considered a drug. They look for things like grades slipping, changes in behavior. Coming to school high as you already have.

Just because you are 13 does not mean the police or school officials will treat you lightly. Quite the opposite. A good friend of mine is a juvenile court judge. I have sat in her court room and watched as she has adjudicated drug cases with first time offenders. I've seen her hand down tough sentences to first time offenders as she wants them to learn from this experience. There are no slaps on the wrist in her court.

More and more judges as this as the proper way to stem the use of illicit drugs or other illegal activities. Being lenient hasn't worked so some have decided to try throwing the book at first time offenders to see if this works better. Maybe by making the punishment fit the crime will be the wake up call you need to tell you recreational drug use is not the answer to your problems.

There is helps, proper help for what ever has caused you to seek the relief you feel you get from smoking weed. My advice is two fold.

First: Stop smoking weed, not only is it illegal it is bad to for you especially any type of street drugs as it could be cut with harmful things.

Second: You tell your parents and why, then ask for help for the problem.

I know you don't like my answer but my advice will keep you safe and out of juvenile court and help you live a long life.

16 and already giving up. thats sad. the best years of someones life is right after school when you go start your own life as far from your old one as possible. then it all goes down hill in mid twenties and thirties.

DO you have a question or are you trying to answer someone else's?

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