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He can't kiss, eat me out, or finger me!
Im fourteen, he's thirteen. We're not dating, he's just a friend. He kept trying to finger me, so I finally let him. I was kinda horny, and having been fingered before knew it felt good. But it was so embarrassing. He couldn't get his finger in! So I stuck my hand in my panties, and kinda shoved his finger in there, but then it was barely in, and the way he was doing it just HURT. Afterwards, I was so sore. Then he tried to eat me out, and it was like he was just sucking and licking. But it wasn't normal, I got no feeling out of it, and it was just sloppy and awkward. He also cannot kiss! It's like he's trying to eat my face. He gets the whole side of my mouth wet, and practically gags me with his tongue! I never want to do anything with him again. If he tries what do I do? Tell him why? Or just say no?
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Here's how I see it. He really likes you, wants to be with you and to be able to please you. However, being 13-years-old he has no experience with girls but is jumping in gung-ho.
While you shouldn't say flat-out to him that he's awful at what he's trying to do you should tell him that you know he never wanted to hurt you but the other day it was too rough and that he needs to be gentle.
As far as kissing or any of this goes it can be learned and improved. Instead of vowing never to do anything with him again perhaps approach this differently.
You would be doing him and yourself a favor by telling him what to do with kissing and everything else and that could empower you if he learns to please you and or other partners correctly in the future.
It's clear he really does like you and wants to make you happy and feel good. A partner like that is someone you shouldn't lose. I would just level with him and tell him bluntly that you aren't enjoying it and aren't in to it and won't do it again unless he's willing to take cues from you. He just needs a little bit of advice and could in Ithe future master this but at 13-years-old he's quite young to be doing it anyways.
You have to be in charge and put on the breaks here and tell him I like you but this makes me uncomfortable and your technique isn't there and would rather not do this again unless you follow my lead.
There's absolutely nothing wrong in putting your foot down and telling him you don't want to period but either way be blunt with him and talk about what bothers you.
How can he get better with future partners if he's left clueless as to what he did wrong. In his head he thinks he did something that satisfied you. You have to give him the truth.
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Im sorry.hes 13.hes not perfect.say no.
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Just say no. You don't need to tell him why, just tell him you don't want it. If he starts questioning it, you don't have to explain it to him. It's really none of his business why you don't want it anymore.
He's really young, so are you. You guys don't have much experience with this so you can't expect him to be good his first time doing things like this even if some people just naturally know what to do.
Anyways, everyone else already mentioned the fact that you're only 14. Just letting you know one more thing, boys can't keep secrets about sexual things.
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HES THIRTEEN!
Youre just kids to the majority of us here. Im not going to lecture you on being too young, because hey, its already happened and it does, we know that.
My point is, he is thirteen. He's is a young lad with >hopefully< not much experience. Are you each others first? He doesn't know what to do poor boy, so no-wonder its like it is. My suggestion is don't do it yet - and like adviceman said, play hard to get. You do not want to be subject to the gossip and rumour and labels kids give each other at 14!
But in the future, it is okay to say no. If youre not comfortable, just tell him no- back off. Its better for the both of you and much less awkward that way.
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The best thing is to just tell him to stop. When anyone in any type of situation that is intimate says stop, it means stop. This is something we all must learn as we work our way through the different parts of being intimate. Stop means STOP and no, means NO.
Telling him to stop or saying no to the suggestion of being intimate is far better than hurting him by telling him he is a poor lover. Like everything else in life being intimate is something we learn to do. While I believe you are both to young for going as far as you did. It is understandable that at his age he may be very inexperienced and is why you had a poor experience.
At your age you should both be in the make out stage where maybe you let him feel your breasts. You should not be letting him finger you and having oral sex is way beyond the point you should go. There are a variety of reason why I say this.
For one thing oral sex will easily lead to intercourse which means you can and very possibly will get pregnant. For the other thing young boys can not keep a secret. If you have the type of sex you had with him, oral sex is sex. You will soon have a reputation you do not what or need. One that will stick with you for the remainder of your time in school. You will be popular for all the wrong reasons.
As I said intimacy is a learned event in life. As all other things in life what we learn in life is a lot like an algebra problem. You need to go step by step or you will not get the right answer.
Slow down, your a young teenage girl. Sure you have all these hormones running through you that make you feel the need for sexual relief. That is what masturbation is for. It is safe and it allows you to learn about your own sexuality as well.
According to a recent survey 85% of us masturbate, this would include your parents. Although they probably practice mutual masturbation as part of foreplay which oral sex is part of. Masturbation is not evil and most organized religions, including the catholic church do not condemn it.
My advice is to slow down with boys. Play hard to get. Keep there hands and mouth and other parts above your waste. Keep your cloths on and use masturbation for sexual relief.
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