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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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hi Dragonflymagic thans for the advise. it really helped me and now we are friends going together at the basketball court! BUt i am afraid to tell her how i feel for her and if i do so i am afraid tha she will reject me. What do i do?
Start first with showing her how you feel about her.
This is why it is important to talk much on many different occasions, to know more about her. What is her favorite color, favorite food and much more. I know you can't be buying her gifts, most people your age don't have a lot of money if any at all. But you can give her your presence and undivided attention. That is one of the ways of expressing Love Language. Another is doing special tasks,that she could do herself, like offer to go get her a refill for her drink when its empty. My husband is always asking if I want another cup of tea or coffee and making it for me, even though I could do it myself. It's actually called, "acts of service". Another is called Positive Affirmations. It again helps to know what is important to her. A girl kinda knows a guy is attracted to her or finds something specific attractive. Let her know. "When you wear your hair like that, it's my most favorite style you do , though I like the others too." "That necklace or those earrings look great on you." "I find your smile irresistable, I can't stop looking when you smile and your laugh is even better, it is like .....(and describe it in your own words. Examples: soothing, musical, magical, sweet...Also build her up with words complimenting her skills. Perhaps she writes poetry for fun but you tell her you like it and compared to other poets, she's just as great, encourage her to try publishing hers, or encourage she in following of any of her other dreams. We all need someone who believes in us, other than our parents. And usually that falls to a boyfriend/girlfriend or a life mate.
Lets say her favorite way to exercise is bike riding. And perhaps she loves flowers, or maybe she loves dogs. You ask her to go on a bike ride with you. Research what safe paths there are to ride bike in your area, perhaps a park not too far away. Pick a park that is very scenic and ask her to go with you. If you want to impress her, take her by a pet shelter if she loves animals at a time there is no school so you can both donate some time there paying attention and giving love to animals waiting for homes. If none is in your area, perhaps a pet shop where the shop owner will let you hold some of the pups and kittens or whatever other animals they carry. this planning of events to go to, things to do together if its something she has an interest in will feel very special to her. Again, pretending she loves dogs, maybe isn't allowed to have any but you have one, invite her over to come meet your dog. Make sure her parents and hers are okay with her coming to visit. What other guys at school who may be interested in her are going to go through this much to win her attention. Girls do like attention from males and she may smile and giggle if guys flirt with her, but if you do this even halfway right, you'll be the person she wants to spend time with. This gives a girl time to get to know you too and realize you really care about her and maybe have strong feelings for her because someone who does not, will not take the time. And the person won't take time because they don't care as deeply about her as you do. Lots of guys interest is skin deep. They don't care about who she is on the inside. If you show her that you are, then you've caught her interest as well.
One more thing shares love and that is touch. It doesn't have to be a romantic thing, especially in the beginning, whatever is customary for greeting a friend or congratulating them or thanking them. If she gives you a gift or does something special for you that's an opportunity to say thank you and give a kiss on the cheek and tell her how much that gift meant to you. You want to encourage her to give her a clue that her attention in return is welcomed so encourage. Find time as you talk to give a friendly pat on the shoulder such as when you first meet up at school or else where. A quick, brief side hug, not one facing her, is non threatening, non sexual but conveys your interest in how you like being close to her. Flirting touch is non threatening and actually has a very valid reason behind it that can't be mistaken as a sexual come on because of that, even though you're using the opportunity to. Say she has a loose eyelash on her cheek or a spot of food on her chin, or even "an imaginary one if you get tired of waiting for the real thing to happen", and you brush it off, or food, you wipe it away from her. That gives your fingers a chance to brush against her skin. And if you can bring yourself to be so bold say something like, "I know you could have brushed that away yourself if I just pointed it out, but I couldn't help myself, I saw it as a chance to get to touch you if briefly and I really wanted to. (Add a compliment) You have such pretty skin, or very soft skin. Truly mean what you say, your common interests be real because if you pretend on all of it, even at this young age, females are developing their female intuition, like a 6th sense and she may feel it is not genuine.
Once you've done these things for a while, then you tell her that you like her a lot and the feeling keep getting stronger...or whatever your words would be. At this point, with all that you have done, she can't help but having some feelings for you too and wondering desperately how you feel about her. A girl needs to have her feelings/love nurtured like this to have feelings for the guy who treats her this way.
If you aren't willing to prove to her by your actions how you feel before telling her how you feel, then perhaps you don't care as strongly about her as you thought. Yes, a relationship takes work to nurture and grow and too many young men do not know how which isn't a crime but not asking for some guidelines on how, is a poor choice. You have asked, these are my suggestions. Good luck young man.
Dear Sir/Madam,
i am a 13 year old boy from Greece who desperately needs your advice on a confusing situation.
i have feelings for a girl that barely knows me and i just need things to go on well with the two of us .We go to the same basketball team and also at the same school.When she speaks to me i get frozen every time.Last week, she came at one of my basketball matches and encouraged me.I felt so happy!
in addition, i want to get close to her but i am afraid that i am just going to destroy everything about our friendship.I just want to get some attention from her or otherwise to be something more than friends!
in conclusion, i need your advice on my thorny issue and a suggestion how to get close to her ( without destroying everything). Any help would be appreciated.
Yours Faithfully,
A confused little boy
It is very natural for a person to become frozen, unable to speak to or do anything when near the person their heart is reacting to. You may feel just fine and able to talk to other girls because it's not important to you what they think as you have no interest in them.
I will say that if she cheered you on, there's a possibility that she likes you. So from what you say,I am guessing you are friendly to each other as classmates at school but that you are not close friends. So you want to become more than friends with her, but I suggest you start with learning how to be her best friend first. What do best friends do together? They spend time together doing some things they have in common. If you don't know her that well yet, you need to start with talking to her. What is it you like about her, her personality, her laugh, her smile, how she looks, that she is good at a sport or a smart student? Smile and say hello and greet her by name whenever you see her. You don't have to say anything else but take this in small steps just starting with that. Once you are comfortable doing that, compliment her next to start a conversation, for example: I heard you got high grades in History class, congratulations. Is that a new shirt, dress, skirt, pants you're wearing? It looks great on you. I just wanted to really say that I like your smile and laugh and it really meant alot when you came to one of my basketball matches. You will figure out what things to say. Next, you ask questions about herself, its the only way to find out what you might have in common. Ask her what some of her favorite pastimes are, what her hobbies are. Find out what type of music she likes, a favorite group of singers, a favorite type of movie, books. Once she has answered for you, tell her if you like the same or if you have a different favorite. Once you have begun a friendship, you can later tell her that you are beginning to develop stronger feelings than friendship for her and wonder if she feels the same. This is a non threatening way to admit feelings, even if in truth you had them from the start. this way, she can let you know if she doesnt have the romantic feelings for you 'before you get too serious about her', you may get the answer you want and you may not. But that is part of life. Someone can become a best friend but there is no chemistry between you for the romance and sex later and chemistry is a pheremone thing you are born with and can not change no matter what you do. So at the very least, you will gain a friend. Or you may gain a girlfriend.
If you fumble mid way through talking to her, the best thing you can do is admit why. Not only does it boost her self confidence as a female for having that effect on you, but once you admit that you are having a hard time talking because you really like her alot and want to get to know her, and it's making you feel nervous, once said, the fear goes away. It's the fear of messing up that keeps you messing up more. It's facing that fear and telling the truth, getting past it, when you will realize that now that the worst is over, you froze but explained, and that she is still there willing to talk to you, and you will find your confidence boosted as well.
so, I have been friends with tracy for 15+ yrs and thought our friendship was a close one. ( she lived with my family for over a year when I was over the road truck driving). her daughter is getting married in july and dress fitting is this week. tracy and I haven't been talking lately and im chalking it up to her boyfriend.
you see, tracys boyfriend jeff wants to go to her daughters wedding. seeing jeff up close and personal and dealing with him for a week at another vacation we had taken. I really don't think this is the guy for her. he is an alcoholic and talks to tracy like crap whenever he drinks too much. I don't like it and wont put up with that at her daughters wedding. I don't know if I even want to go knowing he is going to be there and up tracys ass the whole time. she wants to introduce him to her parents ( dad recovering alcoholic from many moons ago). I don't think this is a smart decision. what to do
Well, as it's not your daughter and neither is it your daughters wedding or your own wedding, you have no say in who she invites. She could invite all the lowest of society to the wedding but if the girl getting married doesn't want them as guests, its really only her say. To say you won't put up with it, is a phrase someone uses when they realize that some action needs to take place. The only thing you have control over to change is yourself. So in actuality, either you decide to go, or decide to stay away. If you decide to limit your interaction with him, try attending only the wedding ceremony and leave a gift for the friends daughter, where you likely won't have any contact with him, unless seated next to him. To assure this doesn't happen, let the usher know you aren't willing to be seated next to him but the possibility is slight. People are seated in the order they arrive. As mother of the bride, your friend will be in the front row and likely may have her daughter agree to let the guy sit up there with her, even though not her dAD. Her Dad if living, will be seated in front too on the brides side front row, the grooms parent on the other and you will get seated somewhere in the back. If you can't handle just knowing he's in the same room, then don't go at all. If you can handle it, enjoy the wedding but don't attend the reception where you won't be able to avoid him.
I want sex with my boyfriend but I'm lucky if I get a kiss of him. Im a girl and I only got my first bra today and I'm not finished with puberty I've snogged and my ex showed me how to have sex but he left my school my other ex dumped me for two girls in my class. My boyfriend isn't that serious and I want more but the ex that is still in school won't go back out with me.
Everyone develops at different rates and when puberty starts differs greatly.
Also, even if going through puberty, the possibily for having great desire sex often (high libido) has become possible at younger and younger ages. There are plenty of toxins in the world that people come into contact with from babyhood on so that by time you get to older child hood, depending on the familys lifestyle and how much you are around these toxins that mimic the hormones of puberty, you can develop sexually at younger ages, it doesnt mean its a good idea to engage in full sex with a partner as your body is still developing. Plus once the normally produced hormones are produced in your body are present, in addition to the ones picked up from just living in this world, you may be on hormone overload, it won't make you any more horny than you are, but keep this in mind regarding your emotions if in the years to come, you find your behavior and emotions change drastically. In my time as a teen, and for my daughters, we got the normal sadness and weepy feelings or irritated easily and angry hateful emotions but it was still manageable and normal. Mnay girls today when hormones are way too high for the body to handle result in extremes in behavior emotionally, on the sadness side, becoming depressed and cutting or on the other side, becoming hateful and mean toward other females maybe even bullying. Doctors can help with a medication to get hormones back to normal levels so you can be your happy self again.
There are more and more reports these days of boys born with smaller genitalia or when older having zero sexual interest or an extremely low libido. There has been no report published to explain why but lots of studies are going on. So keep that in mind, you may meet a guy, at any age, who just isn't interested at all. In your boyfriends case, who knows, maybe he likes you, and thought it meant you should be his girlfriend but the liking he has is as friends not romantically. So maybe he doesn't feel that way about you. Don't pressure him for something he has no interest in.
A better choice is to masturbate for now until you are older. If you are bound and determined to have sex, even if you don't have a period yet, you can get pregnant on that first time you ovulate, because you will ovulate before the show of your first blood. So keep that in mind. Most girls and guys don't understand how easily she can get sperm inside her even if the penis never enters, or condoms are used incorrectly. I don't believe you are old enough to get help at Planned Parenthood as they have worked with teens and have programs especially designed to work with them, but it's worth calling them and addressing any specific questions you get along the way. Just give your age and find out at what point you are old enough to be seen by them, usually the girls reproductive system is mature enough for her to become pregnant, when she may qualify for help. You will want to gain some education from them and get on birth control in the future. So for now, its best to stay away from sex play, just masturbate.
Hi my parents finally found out that I want to be tested for being bipolar. It runs in my family and my emotions have been like a roller coaster since I was little. I'm kind of happy that I can get help, but Im scared. Like scared to the point were I would say I'm not going and wouldn't cooperate. And the thing is I don't know why! I've wanted help for so long but now that I can get it I'm terrified. I guess I'm afraid the medicine is going to change who I am and I've done some reasearch and the side effects are kinda bothersome to me. I dont know. Has any one ever been screened before for it and is now on the medication?
I know nothing about medications for bi-polar or other mental illnesses, but it's like anything else where something in your body isn't working perfectly, you take a specific medication that helps. those with heart issues have blood pressure and cholesterol meds, with diabetes there's insulin, etc.
Since it runs in your family, I am sure the doctor knows what signs to look for. Can't say there are early warning signs, but it would be a good thing to know if you do have it. You didn't mention your age so I don't know if you're really young if it may have shown itself in you yet. You may not get it at all, but your chances are higher. So if you're still under parents care, not an adult yet and the doctor feels its a good idea to check, then get screened for it. If your parents can see any of the symptoms in you, it doesnt mean you've never have it, it may develop over the years. But usually if someone has it, they usually know by their teen or college years. So if younger than that, I don't know, just check what the family doctor has to say.
I will say one thing though, if it helps you to lead a normal life, then use it. Most unmedicated people with mental illness or disabilities of any sort, are highly unlikely to have a successful healthy relationship with a partner. Most break up if one has no mental issues as they can't take it. And the option to not being on meds is having a very lonely life, or a long string of broken relationships to your name. So don't fear using a medication. If you have side effects, not all people experience them, then let the Doctor know and perhaps you will be given something else to try, or a medication to assist with the side affect.
So my boyfriend was rubbing my bare stomach as we were laying on the couch. Is there any chance I would be pregnant from that?
Oh hon, I feel so badly for you that there isn't any good Sex education classes anymore in school or you would know that it is totally impossible. In fact, others may answer you asking, "You're kidding right? It's like asking if I drink green koolaid, can my skin turn green? It's impossible."
So no, you can't be pregnant from that. Sperm entering your mouth in oral sex will not make you pregnant either, neither will having his penis in your anus,(where you poop from) The only hole in your body that leads directly to your womb, your internal sexual organs, which means theres a chance for having a fertile egg available to meet his sperm is through the vagina. Sperm don't last long outside the body yours or his so his cum needs to be deposited on your pussy lips to be close enough to the entrance to make it in alive or be on your or his fingers from having had contact with his cum and then the same fingers going into your vagina for play. With what I've just described, yes, you can become pregnant without a penis being inside you.
What I suggest is that you work hard to self educate yourself about sexuality, procreating, anything to do with your female reproductive organs, become knowledgeable on sexual preferences and such so you can understand youself and others who may differ from you. But it takes time and diligence. the internet is a great place to start. I can give you a link of a girl who became curious and did the research, educating herself and by asking the experts, people trained to give you straight answers on this. It's not the best plan to wait until something has happened, a situation to wonder like yourself. Much better to be well informed and thus able to make some good decisions. Girls who don't, end up pregnant simply through ignorance of how the body works. So here the link to Laci Green on youtube.
www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
She's worked with doing videos for Planned Parenthood also as part of educating people. You can always check with Planned Parenthood if they have any sex ed type of classes or know of any. They can answer many questions for you. They do a whole lot more than abortions as bad media gave them. Laci has lots of video's on dating and relationships too for young people, teens and college age. Start there and search the web for more info and try the library or bookstores too.
I am a female age 24, my Fiancé and I have been together about two years and some times it feels like we couldn't be farther apart. He has been married two time and divorced, been to prison, and went all over the US. I have never been married, have no children, no debt besides my college loand, I am a parttime student, and have only had one serious relationship that lasted for four years outside of my current relationship .I have known him for six years and never known him to be abusive. The only incident I have ever been told about was him pushing his ex against the bed and locking her in to keep her from hitting him. He is a decent man but like all men he has his flaws. One of which happens to be an anger problem. He is on bipolar medication for the anger and fluctuating mood swings. He did this for us and himself because I told him I would have to leave if not. However sometimes we can not afford his medication and when this happens he reverts back to an ass. When he is off and twice when he started his medication he would get really angry and he ends up throwing things, breaking chairs, punching wholes in the wall, or trying to keep me from leaving or he thinks I am going to lock him out of the house. I have never given him any reason to believe this but one of his ex's had done this to him previously. This man has hurt me in the process twice now and I don't know what to do. He is worth saving and I want this to work. He is good to me but has never been in a normal relationship because of the type of women he has been with. We argue because he makes some of the dumbest decisions I have ever seen a person make and because he lacks responsibility. He has changed so much in two years its unbelievable even to me he has held down a steady job and we were able to get his license back, he has gotten a divorce and is currently trying to get custody of his daughter to get her out of a neglectful home with her mother. I have helped him with all of this but it seems we never get a break now is first wife is going after him and he has not seen or been around this child but for maybe a month since she was born. Her mother's choice not his. I know he is a good man and worth saving because I have seen how much he has tried to change and stay changed for the better. The problem is he has been in prison most of his life for stupid child hood decisions to sell drugs to have money because of the life he was raised in. The bigger problem is that we couldn't afford his medication this last month and we are stuggling to keep even the basic bills paid. Tonight he hurt me which he has only done one other time. He threw me against the wall. I am not afraid of this man because I know I can defend myself if needed but this caught me off gaurd. The other times it was just objects but the last time he bruised my wrist because he didn't want me to leave and I put him in his place. His first instinct is anger and I don't know how to break him of this habit. He had a brian aneurysm burst in his head when he was younger, his family all have anger issues, and he had to be tough to survive at a young age in prison. I want to help this man because I love him but I don't know if he will ever get this under control. Does anyone know of any free help in middle TN for this there is no way with all of the child support and me out of work that we can pay for an expensive counselor. Is this a normal amount of anger for a man in this position and can I save him? He means the world to me and his daughter calls me mommy and has since the first day we started getting her she is like my own. My family has accepted him and his little girl. They all love her and have done anything they could to help us out. She needs her father because he is the only person out there that can help her. I have to help him so that he can help her. I don't want to leave him because I love him and this little girl more than I can explain. This is my family but I will not stay with a man that abuses or hits me I can't my mother went through it and his father and mother where the same. I have always been taught to stick up for myself and never let a man put his hands on me in an ill fashion but this is uncharted water for me. I feel like our relationship has been very onesided in areas but great in others. After all of the problems we are hardly ever together sexually any more, he has trouble simply loving on me, and he is a bit of a beginner in the bedroom even though he has been married. We got engaged in December. I love him and I know he can be a great man I have seen it, how much he has changed, and how willing he is to get help. I just don't know what else to try. Please help if you can.
If medication is the answer, you both have to try more agencys, meet with social workers, find what health care he qualifies for where he can get the medication he needs, lack of funds is not an excuse to not take in his case. If it truly transformed him as you say, then not taking it is not an option. You both need to be level with social workers as to how important this is, it helps him hold down a job and that he has a daughter he's trying to get custody of. If he has a tendency to be abusive when off meds, then he won't be able to get his daughter. How will a judge decide if one parent is neglectful and the other has been violent, yes violent when not on meds, then it's like a judge trying to choose between the lesser of two evils and neither parent is a good place for the little girl. He needs the meds and you've both got to try to find a way to make it affordable for you both.
I've not yet heard of medication that is successful in controlling a Bi polar person or one with anger issues or a violent person. Maybe there is. I do see more relationships where one has a mental disability, Bi polar, narcissist, controller, etc... and the relationships do not last, they break up. My ex is going through girlfriends cus he's emotionally incapable of treating them well and not capable of loving a person. After 30 yrs of verbal abuse with him and starting on the physical abuse at the end, I'd had enough, He never got better, just worse...and yet, as you say with your guy, there were so many nice things about him as a person. I understand that, as I've lived it but even though I stood up to him in the early years and tried using logic on him, I found out the hard way, it doesnt work and he felt bad after hurting me, apologized, kissed and made up and the cycle of abusive behavior repeated. I had such hopes and dream when I married at age 20. And I had the strength to try to help him, and I also had faith in God. But none of that could change him into a type of person who would do well in a relationship. A relationship should be a sharing of responsibility, not one doing it all, and even more, it takes two people putting in equal effort to the relationship for it to work. And yes, such a person can be inept in the sexual department...thats how it was for me. I never got loved on, as you put it, he only took care of his needs when it got to that point for him and it didnt often, low low libido. I was young and cocky and sure I could make a difference in his life. And you know, maybe with some people I probably could have, but when it's the type of person you describe...there is no improving the person EVER to the point that being in a relationship with a partner is possible. I talked with a psychologist that my ex got late in life and the man saw me privately to answer some of my questions without upsetting the ex. I wanted to know if someone like him could possibly change for the better. I was told that yes, while it's possible he might make some changes, that there is no given guideline of how fast it can happen or how big those changes could be. bUT from his experience in working with patients, he's never seen anyone make any significant improvement in their lifetime and some may finally by old age have improved slighting in one area. Some never improve at all, that's the nature of mental illness. You and your guy on the other hand come from abusive holdholds, where that is all that is seen while growing up during the formitive years and will have a BIG impact on how he see's things in life, especially if there is some sort of mental disability there. So in ways, he has it worse than my ex. At least mine grew up with loving caring parents and they have a good marriage. All of their sons though, have ranged with suffering from severe depression to exhibiting schizophrenic similarities, and then my ex, with being more the abusive controller type. I know there's probably no scientific report on it, but I believe two normal people may not be the best genetic matches for having children together and they all come out with some problems. Then again, if mental illness is in a parent, I believe it can be passed on. I am starting to see an obvious problem with my oldest, and the other two each have one of the symptoms now but it's only noticeable be me, having had who I married for their father. It could get worse as they get older, i Hope not.
I can not really help you, just point out how hopeless this situation is. You may be able to hang in there for some time but eventually the stress will get to you and when it does, you are affected either mentally/emotionally or physically, and some times both. I kept my sanity but the marriage too: a vision from God that I had to leave him in 4 yrs time or I would physically die from heart-attack or cancer, the other was asking myself if I could handle this situation longer than the week by week, month by month focus. We all can push ourself through some really hard crap in life and stick with it, but when I asked myself if I could take it for another ten years or until the end of my life without a change, everything just the same as currently, I broke down and cried. I didn't deep down want to do that any more. I am now remarried and have a wonderful husband. Sorry this was so long but it needed to be said. I recommend you get counseling for having grown up in a physically/verbally abusive home. Despite the fact you feel you are normal and in control of yourself, you won't really know what strange things you have been doing and saying to help yourself cope growing up and now while with this guy. I got counseling after 30 yr married to an abusive man, and I was surprised to have my counselor pointing out all sorts of coping mechanisms I was still using because I had needed to, things that don't help in the real world with normal people in relating to them, and my way of thinking and what I said to others, was also following copying mechanisms and I had to learn to break those. I suggest you go get a professional for yourself and after you've seen them and let them know of your current relationship, you will have a better idea of what you are up against and if it is worth taking the time in your life to stay on your current path.
Good luck and blessings to you.
my boyfriend I been with for over 3 years now and I cant stand his dad his dad is a bad influence and is a cheater and my boyfriend acts different and wants to fight me when he hangs around or talks to him when he don't talk or see him he acts normal and nice to me I don't know what's wrong
If he's not an adult yet and living under his parents care, he can't just stop communicating at home. Maybe it's a divorce and time spent visiting Dad which is a court decreed thing usually. I don't know if he can choose to not see his Dad. If he did, found Dad to be disturbing and stressing to him, perhaps he could bring it up with his Mom. If he likes seeing his Dad, then he won't be likely to refuse seeing him. Sometimes we get the short end of the stick and end up with parents that are not good role models and very negative people. It will take some personal strength of his own to choose to ignore his dad's bad ways and not choose to copy them. Just because a parent or adult is seen acting in negative, abusive, morally wrong ways, etc... does not mean it's okay.
I think the best thing you can do is bring up to him the changes that you see, as if he was two different people. Let him know which behavior you do not like and won't tolerate. Since you care about him alot, you want to give him a chance to improve himself in that area and have a suggestion to offer him. Ask if you may. If he doesnt want to hear, you may have to stop seeing him for a scheduled period of time, like a month until one of two things happen, 1. he misses you and decides to want to work on his relationship with you 2. or you never hear from him again. You have to make any contact and he still shows no interest in changing. He may be too young and immature yet to want to but might once he grows older but (I am guessing here since I have no age range from you.) If he could care less that you weren't around and doesn't miss you, then despite the length of time together, he isn't all that into you.
What you need to understand is that no one can actually 'make' another person change. It's that old saying, 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.' The horse has to have a thirst to drink right? Same with people, we need to have our own internal desire to change, to want to improve ourselves below we will take the steps to do it. No one can give that person the desire to change. What can help in his life is having a better male role model other than his Dad as far as relationships are concerned. You might ask him what men he knows of that he really admires for being a good man in society, to their girlfriend or wife and kids if any. You can encourage him to spend some time with, if the other person is willing (like the big brother program unofficially) to be there for him, be his mentor and available to talk, for him to spend enough time with seeing how the man treats others. He would have to want to be more like that man in his behavior and decide to want to change.
I was 2 when I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome type 3. (Hyper mobility) So that involved 4 surgeries.. Two failed, and a lot of physical pain over the years.
I have a tote full of braces, and my knee mostly subluxes, even though my shoulder wrists and hips do occasionally.
I'm 15 now, and all my life I've wanted to do sports. For therapy I rode horses, and swam. I can jog, sometimes run... But I want to know what sports I can do without killing myself. I can't join a school team (1. I'm home schooled again 2. I would fail the physical because of EDS.) I can do things with my knee brace, but I just have to be careful.. I want to know what other sports would be good for me??
As a girl I'm insecure about my friends who can do everything and they're dancers, runners, basketball players, and I'm just a bookworm who likes to watch Netflix.
Please help.
Sounds like a better question to ask for ideas of what wouldn't be too stressful on you, might be to talk to your Dr. and get an appt. with a physical therapist.
I can't feed you idea's of what might take care of your desire for some sport without being stressful, as I am no expert but I do know from hearing stories/reports that people with disabilities engage in the ones you mentioned already, horse riding and swimming. I cant think of any sport but perhaps something non sports but part of maintaining a healty body, Yoga might be good for you. Check with your doctor on that.
My period is coming this week or last week of this month.And I Observed that theres a small amount of a blood but not so color of the blood sometimes its brown.But when I wipe it on a tissue there nothing..sometimes it have but a so small amount only.Is this a sign of my coming period?
I've had the brown show up whenever my period was delayed due to stress, illness. In time the real period will start and its nothing to worry about.
Is it normal for an acquaintance to send you passive-aggressive texts? This person has a bit of a history of doing this. On New Year's Day he sent me a passive-aggressive text hinting that he was pissed off that I hadn't wished him a happy new year that day. In fact, I had already wished him a happy new year along with merry Christmas in response to a text from him on Christmas day in which he wished me a merry Christmas.
Since then I haven't heard much from this guy. I was quite happy about that since I had hoped, and am still hoping, to gradually cut off contact with him. He is one of those people who always make everything about themselves, and take the tiniest things really personally. He once complained to me about someone ignoring his texts. Therefore I know that he would talk about me behind my back to others as well.
The only reason why I haven't stopped talking to this guy is because I have a lot of issues in my life right now as it is, and therefore really don't want to have to deal with the stress that could come from ignoring him. He is very good at making other people feel bad for him. Therefore he could seriously convince those people to harrass me. That's why I'm only gradually cutting off contact, so he hopefully won't notice what I'm doing. I hope he'll just lose interest in sending me those texts, which he really should soon.
He's now going to a different university than me but still in the same city. Therefore I really hoped that he would stop contacting me.
However, just two days ago I got another passive-aggressive text from him. Apparently he is now pissed off that I don't tell him enough details about my life.
I showed both his latest text and the text from New Year's Day to my boyfriend to get a second opinion. He agrees that both texts are passive-aggressive. Him and my acquaintance have never met each other, though.
The reason why I got to know this toxic person is because of a mutual friend. I didn't realise at first how crazy he was.
I'm not actually sure how he got my cell phone number since I never gave it to him. Therefore he must have gotten it from someone else.
Just to provide some more context to all of this, I'm a woman and the passive-aggressive acquaintance is a gay guy.
You have a need for him and he has some odd reason for needing you as his dumping bag or whatever. So until one of you can get to the point of not being dependant on the other, then this won't end.
It sounds like you could use a professional counselor to help you deal with your issues, you don't have to have a mental illness to need to see one...even general life issues help is a good enough reason to see one, I know cus I did that myself after I realized the people closest to me in life at the time was crazier than me and I was normal.
The solution is obvious dear, you stop answering his calls or texts or better yet, change your number. But since you like him as your go to source for help, even though a passive aggressive is one of the worst possible choices for a 'support system', you nurture this emotional connection between you, actually encouraging it.
There is always a cost to counsel/support. In your current situation, the cost is having to put up with passive aggressive calls/texts. If going to see a professional counselor 'as needed', the cost is a financial one but you won't have the stress. Its your choice.
beginning school without my best friend who promised we would get through college together isn't going to be easy in the slightest I know. I already knew one day I would have to say goodbye to her because we would end up going to different universities any way but right now, I am doing a live stream with a friend and any time someone asks me about her, I grow silent and tell them she's gone. Anyone new would ask what her name was and I tell them, followed by "and we were...together." and they get the picture I would rather not talk about it. I know I'll find other friends but she had a special place in my heart because she kept me stable after a bunch of drama I went through.
I guess what I'm asking for is how can I ask people kindly to not ask me about her. Because I truly feel like I'm going to break down when someone asks me about her and I miss her too much to even talk about her. Granted, I do still talk to her, but it's not the same as when we had class together.
I don't know how many people know her by name to ask about her but if you are honest and say the same thing once to each, that should stop it all.
Just be honest and when someone asks, tell them you miss her terribly and the only way you've found to get by is to not think of her or be reminded of her so could they please not ask you about her anymore. People can understand that.
Now if someone who doesn't know of her happens to ask if you have a close friend or best friend, just say, no I don't. That ends it right there.
I swear I'm not bragging, or saying I'm better than her at all. I'm not being conceited at all!! I just need some help..
My friend.. Lets call her "B". She enjoys singing, drawing and playing the guitar. The problem is.. She's not very good. She can play guitar good, but she messes up a lot and she thinks she can write songs, but the chords don't mix together well. She can't sing low notes at all and she knows it, the thing is whenever I have the radio on, she likes to add her own high notes and they don't sound good. She doesn't sing very well and I know she's envious of our friend "R" and she does try to be like her.
Drawing.. I don't like being cocky or vain at all.. Honestly I don't understand how people can do that. I do draw better than "B" because I've been practicing longer. I draw realistic things, "B" draws anime type of things. She's not very good. "R" draws better than me.. But I just want to know what to do when she asks what I think.
I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Okay, I've seen this situation, for example, in the playing of musical instruments among my kids,as most grade schools expose kids to learning to play something. All my daughters learned to play the flute. Two of them had to work extra hard and practice more to come close to playing like the middle sister who had a 'natural talent'. They were talented enough to be in band or orchestra class but when compared to someone with a 'natural talent', it seemed they had no talent at all, and yet they did. Our society has become too critical of what talent is. Take those TV shows of competition to be the best singer. Yes, granted...some sing off key and truly are bad, I hear a lot of people who I wouldn't mind hearing again...and then's that one or two who really stand out and grab everyone's attention. They sing as well as all the others did, but have that one more thing that gives their singing some bang to it, they have a passion for it. The lyrics sung by such a person will bring emotional responses out of you, but with the other its' only pure listening entertainment. So, really, it's your standards that you want her to live up to in your mind. Not picking on you, I have had to train myself to think differently too. I've seen art I think a kindergartner could do as well at, and others I know are far beyond my limitation of talent. Then I watch to see how many people comment on the paintings in an art show. There is always someone who adores the stuff that was like your description, basic 'anime style' I found it's not fair to compare lets say a water color to one who does computer generated art. And then again, it's also not fair to compare a Kindergartners artistic abilities to a highschooler or them to a college student with an art/music degree.
So if your talent is H.S. and your friend is at 3rd grade level, then give your opinion based on that level only without pointing this fact out. Is her singing, art or playing as good as other 3rd graders, when compared to you or maybe better? Then you can honestly tell her that she is good and leave it at that.
Or admit that you're not a fan of anime art, and so not the best one to ask about the quality but it looks great to you.
I'm fourteen, soon to be fifteen. I feel attracted to both genders. I know that people may say "Oh it's just a phase or horomones", but hear me out.
As long as I can remember, probably even since I was eight, I've been attracted to the female body. Ever since, I've just been trying to push those feelings away or to avoid them. Those feelings never went away. I still feel an attraction to both men and women. I actually even had my first kiss with a girl, and also dated her. I don't know what my sexuality is. Bisexual?
Also, if I was bisexual, I need advice... I think my dad is homophobic. He denies it, but he thinks it's disgusting when he sees gays. He even said, "Bisexuals are even worse. How can you like both? It makes no sense". I didn't really say much. My mom would probably not care much, which is good, but my dad... I honestly don't even feel like telling them that I'm bisexual if I were to be because it's not their business and it would save drama and anxiety.
Yes, what you describe is bi-sexual. Do a search on bisexual teen support groups on line to hear from others who've had to face the exact same situation as you with Dad. I personally say, it's not his business. But as long as you're living under his roof, you might want it to be as pleasant as possible, meaning his not knowing, cus life may become Hell at home with him thinking He didn't do a good job of raising you and place all sorts of rules and restrictions on you. As long as you are under 18, the age of consent,he may try extra hard to 'change your mind', out of ignorance, but love and concern for you. You know it's not something you 'decided' to do, but that it is just there, a part of you. If your Dad was a farmer, he'd know that this is a natural difference in sexuality as can be witnessed in the animal kingdom also.
Using the example of homosexuality,Lets say, its Sheep, and the farmer notices a male sheep or two who never go after the females, only males. They are no good for creating more offspring so they are marked to kill for the meat instead of stay alive. If animals who don't have the reasoning intelligence of humans can have this happen randomly among them, so can humans be something other than hetero sexual.
I looked up a couple support sites for teens who are bisexual and are posting some right here. No idea how good they are so do a search of your own if you need more.
http://www.mdjunction.com/teen-bisexuality
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/dating-sex/Pages/Gay-Lesbian-and-Bisexual-Teens-Facts-for-Teens-and-Their-Parents.aspx
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bisexuality/support-group
Ok. I'm a girl, he's a single gay guy. We've been friends for over 2 years now, he even calls me his soulmate all the time. We always hang out and we do almost everything together. While I find him very attractive and a lot like me, I've respected his sexuality and refused to even consider to think of him romantically. That being said, I've noticed he's been getting REALLY friendly with me. He's always saying things like, ''I love your hair, it's so soft and long,'', or ''you have the prettiest eyes'', or ''you look beautiful today.'' He only does this to me.
We were going to his house to just hang out and the entire time we were walking home he held my hand and we didn't say anything. He let my hand go to open the front door and when I took my shoes off he slowly walked towards me and I kept stepping back until I hit the table and he leaned in really close and he was just staring at me for an entire minute! I didn't know what to do and he just kept coming in closer and closer and he was going to kiss me but then he stepped back and we were both awkwardly standing there and he muttered "sorry" ... I honestly don't understand, he told me he was 100% gay and he didn't have any interest in girls. I've never seen him act this way towards any other girl.
I guess my question is, gay men: do you ever find yourself against all odds, falling for a woman? Is it possible? What do I do? Do I just ask him directly?
He's forever complimenting me whenever we talk or just seeing each other. Always. I really do appreciate his compliments, but now it's always over the top. He'll compliment my appearance, say how perfect I am, that I'm amazing. It's almost like once he's on a roll with it, he will literally sit there and gush about me for a few mins at a time. what the hell is up with that, man? I'm extremely confused.
honey, he may be bi sexual...but you'd have to be okay with him having men or at least one special guy as a sex partner. This means he can be attracted to boths sexes sexually. You may be the only female he's attracted to that way and maybe still attracted to several guys. It can happen that way. Bring up the subject cus I am guessing it may not ha ve occured to him.
Hello, I'm wondering whether or not to dye my hair blond, I'm 16, I've got (dark-)brown hair, and I've never dyed my hair before!
(This is me: http://imgur.com/Qa3EUl2 hair's more of a quiff currently!)
So, should I do it? I'd like to have it similar to the hair in these pictures:
-http://scontent-a.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xfa1/t51.2885-15/e15/10952963_1554287254827426_1298352638_n.jpg
-http://scontent-b.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xfa1/t51.2885-15/e15/10979654_261210280715848_1968894870_n.jpg
Any and all advice is appreciated!
Teens love to experiment with their looks. Guys don't have as much as choice in wardrobe choices as girls do, so yeah, that really just leaves changes to the hair.
there is no reason why you can't do that. But I'd advise seeing a professional rather than trying to do it yourself or having a mom or female friend do it. When it comes to highlighting or bi-colored hair, there's such a thing as too much. So you will be happier with the results of a professional hairstylist doing it. Make sure who you choose has done this type of work. Go to a salon. While you may not see any males in there, trust me, they do go there. Of most the times I've gone to a big salon, there's always one male there getting their hair done, not just young guys so dont be embarrassed. You go to a barber for guys only for a basic haircut.
Now, about skin types, I was trained years ago to help people learn what colors go with their skin type. You will have what is called, cool toned skin, more the blueish undertones rather than the strawberry blondes to dark reds who have the peachy, golden, cream colored complexions. So trying to use something with reddish tint to it for streaking or tipping your hair will not compliment your skin. It should be a very light version of brunette or a dark blonde.
As to reasons for doing the hair coloring: If it's just for fun and to try something different...go for it.
However, if you are doing this because you want to look more hot for the girls and think that will win their attention, think again. You really don't have to make any change to look better because you already are a very handsome guy just as is.
I suggest you find a hair salon near home and go there, if you feel too awkward going by yourself, get a sister or female friend to go as moral support. Tell the lady at the front what you are looking to do and ask what books you can look at to find a photo of exactly what you want. Once you have found it, ask what it costs to get done. If you have the money for it then and there's no waiting line, go for it. If you need to save up or get the parents to help, do that and get their card and make an appointment for another day.
Good luck!
AGE 16 male.. I just bought condoms for me and my girlfriend. but where should I hide them From my parents. BTW my parents dont know we are having sex.
Since there's no way to really know if your parents are the kind who check your room regularly when you're gone, if you must hide something like that in your room for convenience sake,I'd have to say, tape one or two on the inside of the plastic switch plate covers, for lights. It would be hard to hide a whole box of them though somewhere in the house. Do you have your own car? If so, get one of those extra key holders that are magnetized and put some in there, so you have them with you where ever you go. Other than an off building like a shed where you can find a hiding place, you pretty much will have to piece meal it out finding places to stash one or two in each spot. Maybe there are a couple hiding spots in your bedroom closet. Perhaps the carpet isn't tacked down in there and you can slip a few under the carpet. Just keep thinking of the unusual hiding spots and use tape to secure them out of view if needed.
As to what was shared about effectiveness, yes condoms are cheap and great but theres a problem if she ends up allergic to it. She can become itchy or have a rash after so if its your first time using, for first couple times, make sure she takes note of anything unusual for her like that and it means you can't use them then. Condoms supposedly come in both latex and rubber and if there is allergy to one there may not be to the other but I believe most places dont always carry both and you'd have to ask pharmacist if needing to try the other.
If there is no allergies to condoms, then the only other concern if failures. In my life time, I've once had a condom rip apart while the guy was using it, but luckily I was on the pill as well, and about 3 times where the guy pulls out and the condom remains inside resulting in having to reach and pull it out which can result in some sperm leaking out there as well so if its the only source of birth control, it's unsafe to count on it as such. As I've heard, the importance of the condom is stressed today as more of a protection against std's than the best birth control. Planned Parenthood in the US or womens free clinics in other countries should be able to help her. P.P. does help young teens to get on birth control and take care of any concerns regarding their reproductive/sexual organs without parents needing to know. Keep in mind that the most common thing prescribed is the birth control pill which generally must be taken for an entire week before being affective. And sex before that, and she can become pregnant. So suggest that to her. You say you both are already having sex, so it shouldn't be a big deal to discuss sexual topics like this if already doing it, thats what adults have to do. You are working on becoming adults and learning to take on your independance and make decisions for yourself. So practical talk about birthcontrol is part of all that. Good luck!
Hello, I'm twenty and my brother is twenty three; so my brother isn't so hugely into the bar scene anymore. Because of that, last weekend, we went to his friend's apartment and hung out. I like hanging out with these guys in particular, because they are all twenty as well so when all of our friends are out at the bar, which is quite a lot, we all get together and hang out. I've been to this house quite a few times with my brother, so I thought I knew everyone that lived there, but I was proven wrong.
All night, there was this cute guy that caught my eye multiple times so when he got off the couch and went to the bathroom, I asked my brother who he was and he said he's the other roommate, making four people living in the house. When he came back, my brother asked him if he wanted to go outside and smoke a cigarette, so they both went out. My friend that was there with me at the time said that he was cute and she definitely thinks he was hitting on me. So when they came back in, I introduced myself and he said "yeah, I was just telling your brother that I thought we had a class together freshman year" -- mind you, we're juniors now. So for a couple minutes after that, my friend and I were sitting on the stairs, really just sitting and listening to the conversation all of the guys were having, when we thought something was funny, we would snap chat it or something like that. Then someone texted me something and I wanted to show my brother, since I was on the bottom step and my brother was on the couch, there was a chair I had to lean over and of course, the cute guy was sitting on it, so I blatantly just leaned right over him to show my brother my phone and he didn't complain or anything, I could've sworn I even saw him smirk about it. A few minutes after that, this kid went up to get his computer to play music from and my brother got up to get a drink so there was only one kid on the couch, so my friend and I moved over to sit on the couch, for the sole purpose of the step starting to hurt our butts, a few minutes after that, my brother came back and sat on the chair so when the cute guy came back, he could only sit on the couch next to me, so he did.
We talked, he would elbow me and run his arm down mine, he'd grab at my hand or just look over and smile at me. There were times when the first guy that was sitting on the couch would take my phone and the two of them would snapchat selfies and put them on my story. About an hour on the couch and just hanging out, he gave me his phone with the new contact page up, so I put my number in and gave it back.
He texted me a few minutes later to go "peek in his room real quick" - mind you, they are a bunch of hippies, if I hadn't mentioned, lol. But I didn't get the text right away so I didn't answer and he didn't push it.
Well, my brother started to get cranky and I was the one that drove him so I had to take him home because when he gets cranky, he will always get his way - mostly because he just doesn't shut up until he does. So, I started to get my things together, my brother took my keys to go warm up the car and as I was walking to the door, one of the roommates said the cute guy was through the back door with one of his other roommates smoking a cigarette and if I go out the front, I'll miss him but I didn't really want to keep my brother waiting so I left, just thinking I'll shoot him a quick text.
So, I got to my car and got my brother and friend and all of our things inside and I texted him quick that I'll see him again whenever my brother wants to come back. Well, long story short, he told me I'm welcome there even if my brother doesn't go, that he's glad he stuck around that night and that we met (he usually goes to concerts on the weekend), he told me I'm super cute, he asked me to call him when I get home, he told me I should go back and hang out the next night after I go to the hockey game and my friend and I agreed, he even replied that he was looking forward to it.
When I got my brother home to his house, his roommate was there and he was drunk and it was just a mess trying to deal with both of them all while still texting this guy. But, it was nice talking to him because he was being pretty cool about it all, he was actually helping me deal with the both of them. It got to be about 5:00 am when I finally got back to my place, I was still texting this guy, I grabbed a shower when I got home and just fell asleep after. I woke up to a text from him that said goodnight.
Now, it's a week after this all happened and I haven't heard from him since. He didn't even text me the night after to go over to his place or to meet up. Granted, I could've asked him what he was doing and I did think about doing just that but then I thought it would be weird because it's his place and I didn't want to invite myself. However, I did text him the next day to try not to have too much fun at his work shift and he texted me back and he said "oh yeah, I'll try lol" but that was it. And it's like, my brother and I go there a lot and I don't know, now I think it might be weird.
I think I'm just confused why he hasn't even texted me once since.
And please, do not be afraid to hurt my feelings, I didn't grow feelings for this kid in one night, I just thought he was cute and that he was a cool person to hang out with. So, if you think all he wanted was sex, you can go right ahead and say it, because honestly, that's what I've been thinking.
Any input is appreciated.
Thanks!
I agree with missundersmock. Here's a few more things to think about as to why to take more time to get to know him better to discover his real character.
Remember, as far as he said, he goes to concerts and such on the weekends usually instead of going to bars or hanging out at parties to pick up a girl for sex. If his priority was just taking care of his sexual needs, even though he might run into someone at a concert, it's more likely to find a new girl at a party or bar. Obviously, he is attracted to you and everything he did was to drop signs that he is attracted to you. This is far from commitment level and some people don't place as much importance on bf/gf until they in their heart have gotten to that level. There still needs to be the hanging out with/dating to gain info stage of a possible relationship. During that time, you find out enough to realize you want to be with him long term or there's too many things you won't tolerate and wont settle for less and so you stop seeing him. Some call it breaking up but I don't if no commitment has been made yet.
As for texting lots the first night, he wasn't doing anything else and he wanted to be sure you understood how much he was interested/flirting and such.
There's a few reasons why a week could go by without any contact by text:
perhaps he really doesn't like texting. This means he's robbed of the chance to read beyond your words by your tone of voice and facial expressions/body...language. Lots of guys subconsciously don't even realize they rely on that so much to understand a girl better, know which of their comments got her to smile and react positively. He's probably a guy who does better in face to face than in writing or calling. Perhaps he uses his cell more as a tool rather than a way to converse with people.
Being that you are not any where near commitment level yet, the truth is, although he's very interested, when push comes to shove, of all his priorities that need be met, you aren't one of his top 3 or 4 he juggles yet. If you were and something came up, emergency, illness in family, car trouble or whatever could hog his attention until he resolves the issue or gives his attention at least. Men do multi task, differently than girls. Girls can put all their conscious attention on a guy for example while subconsciously doing other stuff at the same time, where a guy has perhaps a top 3 priorities that he juggles in life, giving equal amounts of attention to each (one at a time) and repeating the process. Don't worry if you're not instantly one of his top 3 yet, that takes the time of getting to know each other.
Lastly, a guy just isn't interested enough to pursue you or has extreme attention deficit disorder, meaning he shows attention to whats before him, but once out of sight, out of mind and only whats in front of his is distracting his attention. This means there isn't any strength to his level of attraction, meaning he won't suffer if he loses you. Keep in mind that a guy who doesnt show enough interest in pursueing you isnt all that into you, and I am keeping in mind all his other commitments and busy schedule. You make time for that which is important to you. If he doesnt, you're not.
As for sex, all guys are thinking about sex when they meet a pretty gal. My 2nd husband admits to having tried to subtly look down my top without being obvious the first day we met in person,and he accomplished that. I never knew til he told me. A guy with manners will be interested and wonder what you look like naked in bed but keep that to themselves early on, later in relationship paying genuine compliments to the gal that include why he is specifically attracted to her looks and what he wants to do with her sexually. What you are looking for in a life partner whether long term or marriage, is both your best friend and your sexual match. If the chemistry isn't there for both, the relationship will be rocky and unfulfilling at best. Guys are thought to think of the sex part first and many do, but there are some wise enough to know that what makes the real difference from sex wiht one person vs other is the deep friendship forged and he will work on that first while dropping hints and sexual innuendo's as to his interest in the other half of the equation with you so there's so danger of him ending up as a male best friend stuck in the friend zone. This is what to look for. Don't freak at any sexual comment he drops unless it is constant, then he's obsessing about sex, otherwise it's normal and you let him know your thoughts sexually, it's importance to you and whether you want sex just for sex sake or if to you it's an expression of the depth of your love for a guy. He should respect that, if not, you have a choice to make whether to stick with such a guy or not. So call, don't text...and remind him of his invite for you to visit him on your own. Ask if he is still interested and its okay if he isnt. Then ask him when he is available to hang out. If nothing gets set, you can try one more time, come up with something that he could do to help you, guys love to be needed by women. Sure lots of women can do practically everything a guy can, but some of us can't or don't like to. Ask if he can help you choose new wiper blades for your car and put them on. I tried myself and couldn't get it right. I had no boyfriend at the time and had a neighbor guy help take old ones off , new ones on. Thats just one example. If he's at your place, bring out a jar you've been unable to open and ask him for his help opening so you can get into it easier next time, help you change a burnt out light cus you have no ladder, you're short and he's taller. Show your appreciation with thanks, a kiss on the cheek or maybe a quick peck on the lips and give a compliment. A guy wants to spend time with a girl who wants him and Needs him. After that, he should be keeping in contact regularly if truly interested, Otherwise, look elsewhere.
First off, I am 14 & he is 16. We both met eachother on 1/15/14. We are going to make one year on February 19, 2015. But this year has been a real struggle for the both of us. In the beginning we loved each other like crazy. He knew i wasnt allowed to date though. My parents found out about us and forbid us to see eachother. I have really strict parents so i cant even hang out with friends. This struggle has caused us both to lose feelings. We still love/care each other so we havent broken up, but currently we are on a break. What do you think I should do ?
Your parents rules and boundaries for you may cause stress in a relationship, but it won't change your emotions, as to how you feel about each other.
Only if one or both of you were being very unloving or constantly harsh, distant or maybe even abusive of each other can love slowly die in a relationship, I know this, because it happened in my marriage. married at 20, to a verbally abusive man and over the years, his treatment whittled away at the love I originally had for him til it was all gone and made it easier to leave him.
Perhaps it was more a case of the excitement of seeing each other, although knowing it was forbidden, that caused a type of excitement that fed both your feelings for each other, or simply the newness of anything in life, even a new relationship, new partner can bring on that level of excitement which certainly mimics having feelings for the person. If the feelings are for real, you'll know a change in a couple months, no longer, that the newness and fun of exploring a new person disappears and you will still feel a love for the person, but now its more a comfortable, easy going interactions between the two without the higher level of excitement from it being new, but still a specialness and caring that you can count on to always be that way. Others find that after New relationship energy wears off, what they are left with is no feelings for each other any longer which means it is time to part. This happens to us all, adults too but teens are especially prone to this. However, if it was NRE, you'd feel these feelings drop off in the first few weeks to 2,3 months. New relationship energy doesnt last longer unless the couple see's each other maybe only 2,3 times,dates a month and so it still feels new after 6 months but by then NRE will begin to fade.
I don't know what rules the parents have set out, if it's due to religion or race preferances..yeah some people still do that or its an age thing. If age related, ask if he can come visit at your house while they are home, a male friend rather than a female one coming over. Of course this gives time to only really hang out together and get to know each other better as friends but no privacy to engage in anything sexual if thats the parents concern. I had all girls and as mom I know there will always be those concerns, so guys were welcome to come hang at our house but all were too chicken to do so. See if they will allow him to visit as a friend, if not, there's nothing else you can do but see him at school and that isn't real quality time into a relationship to feed it and keep it going. You have already done what you wanted to with dating despite their rules, I highly doubt the parents finding out will stop you continueing it if thats what you're asking as what to do. If neither of you feel like going on, then don't. Break up. In highschool a good percent of relationships don't last long anyways so this is normal. If you still like him, keep him as a friend unless the parents have told you that you can not even speak to or interact with guys at school.
I'm a 22 year old guy and I was with a girl who claimed she has herpes. Although she didn't specify which kind, I'm sure she meant genital herpes, not oral, as she stated she had sores around her vagina area. Anyway, we kissed. She didn't have any sores or anything on her mouth, and I'd just like to know if I can somehow get herpes from kissing her? She claimed that she doesn't have oral herpes, which I know can be spread through kissing. I didn't do anything else with her, and I'm still a virgin. Any advice will help. Thank you.
There is always a possibility of getting herpes. Here's why.
Most Drs when screening for STD's do not check for Herpes anymore. Why? Because most the population already has it. How can that be?
You would think if someone had the sores at the time, and being painful, that they wouldn't engage in any kissing or intercourse or even touching someone else in any sexual way down there if they had an outbreak.
So either the majority of people are grinning and bearing the pain and doing it anyways, and their partner can obviously see the sores and stupidly engages with them even so....
or.... people who have the virus are passing it on, unintentionally somehow.
And thats why it is so widespread. The greatest majority of people who have it are just carriers, it shows up in a test that they have it, they just havent had any outbreak to even become knowledgable that they have it due to an outbreak. These unknowing carriers only tend to increase they chances of an outbreak if they go through some really stressful times and the stress is what causes the virus residing in our bodies at the base of our nervers to climb to the surface and sit on our skin for a day or so without any outbreak yet showing. How do I know all this? I am a carrier. My mom had the oral kind but never passed it on to me, at least, I don't have the oral kind. When I divorced and began to look for a new partner, I thought with my next female exam I'd ask them to check for everything including herpes, I wanted to be able to tell a guy I was clean. The test came back positive, I was a carrier and had not had any outbreak, however some of the nasty stuff after leaving the ex was even more stressful than all stress and abuse after leaving him, and my body hit its limit for stress and I had an outbreak finally. So I have learned that there can be a hint before an outbreak, a day or two before. The skin at the particular spot feels chafed, irritated, a bit tender. If I feel that, I won't have sex, I wait two days to see if it develops into a sore or not. Sometimes, I was right and a sore comes along, another, maybe my pants fit too tight. Its those couple days where it can easily be passed on and why so many people have it and don't know it. The only way you can know for sure is to ask your Dr. to test for it as they dont automatically test for it unless asked to.