|
Passive-aggressive acquaintance
Is it normal for an acquaintance to send you passive-aggressive texts? This person has a bit of a history of doing this. On New Year's Day he sent me a passive-aggressive text hinting that he was pissed off that I hadn't wished him a happy new year that day. In fact, I had already wished him a happy new year along with merry Christmas in response to a text from him on Christmas day in which he wished me a merry Christmas.
Since then I haven't heard much from this guy. I was quite happy about that since I had hoped, and am still hoping, to gradually cut off contact with him. He is one of those people who always make everything about themselves, and take the tiniest things really personally. He once complained to me about someone ignoring his texts. Therefore I know that he would talk about me behind my back to others as well.
The only reason why I haven't stopped talking to this guy is because I have a lot of issues in my life right now as it is, and therefore really don't want to have to deal with the stress that could come from ignoring him. He is very good at making other people feel bad for him. Therefore he could seriously convince those people to harrass me. That's why I'm only gradually cutting off contact, so he hopefully won't notice what I'm doing. I hope he'll just lose interest in sending me those texts, which he really should soon.
He's now going to a different university than me but still in the same city. Therefore I really hoped that he would stop contacting me.
However, just two days ago I got another passive-aggressive text from him. Apparently he is now pissed off that I don't tell him enough details about my life.
I showed both his latest text and the text from New Year's Day to my boyfriend to get a second opinion. He agrees that both texts are passive-aggressive. Him and my acquaintance have never met each other, though.
The reason why I got to know this toxic person is because of a mutual friend. I didn't realise at first how crazy he was.
I'm not actually sure how he got my cell phone number since I never gave it to him. Therefore he must have gotten it from someone else.
Just to provide some more context to all of this, I'm a woman and the passive-aggressive acquaintance is a gay guy.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
You're smart enough to realize that on some level that any sort of aggressive behavior and getting your number from someone else equals stalking, (though you might not have fully realized it or formed that into words yet).
Change your number again. Log his previous behavior, keep all his texts and whatever information you can. If he gets your info again, keep logging everything. Give him his own notebook.
You might need the info later if you need to file harassment charges. Also keep in mind that though he's gay, he might still be having a sexual attraction to you for some reason or it could be a jealousy issue. We have no idea what's going on in people's minds sometimes, no matter what they portray on the outside.
]
You have a need for him and he has some odd reason for needing you as his dumping bag or whatever. So until one of you can get to the point of not being dependant on the other, then this won't end.
It sounds like you could use a professional counselor to help you deal with your issues, you don't have to have a mental illness to need to see one...even general life issues help is a good enough reason to see one, I know cus I did that myself after I realized the people closest to me in life at the time was crazier than me and I was normal.
The solution is obvious dear, you stop answering his calls or texts or better yet, change your number. But since you like him as your go to source for help, even though a passive aggressive is one of the worst possible choices for a 'support system', you nurture this emotional connection between you, actually encouraging it.
There is always a cost to counsel/support. In your current situation, the cost is having to put up with passive aggressive calls/texts. If going to see a professional counselor 'as needed', the cost is a financial one but you won't have the stress. Its your choice.
]
More Questions: |