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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i want to really die please help me sir give your number i will come my house please

No one on this Website will help you die; we will though help you live. If you live in North America pick up a phone and dial 911 and help will be sent to you. If you would like to talk to someone about what is causing you to feel this way and have them offer help and hope. Call this number:1-800-273-TALK (8255. This is the national Suicide prevention Hotline.

No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

I'm a thirteen year old girl, slightly insane. I have a neighbor/friend named Jonathoan. He's thirtytwo. He's a conspiracy theorist, and, although his ideas might be a little out there, I don't think they are all definitely wrong. We like the same kind of music- greenday, the beatles, matchbox 20, etc. We both enjoy learning, and want to know the truth about everything possible. He's funny, and nice. He isn't some weirdo who hangs out with little kids, I'm just kind of odd, and prefer to talk to adults over kids my age. The point of my story? I have a bit of a crush on him. I, of course, haven't told him, and don't plan on acting on my feelings.

There is nothing wrong with having a crush on someone older than you as in a teacher or coach. Having a crush on a total stranger sends up all types of warning flags for me as I am concerned for you well being given your young age.

I will temper my remarks with this. The fact that he is a neighbor hopefully someone your parents know and approve of you talking two may lower those flags a bit. If he is not someone your parents know then this is a big red flag.

It is very unfortunate that in todays world there are people out there that on first look seem harmless and they may be. Time has proven that someone who spends an inordinate amount of time with someone your age is not harmless. They are pedophiles.

They gain your trust by talking with you. Then once they have your trust they invite you to, maybe go to the store for an ice cream or something. Maybe the first time you actually go for ice cream. But at some point they hurt you.

I know how you feel liking to talk with adults as I was like that too when I was your age. That was 5 decades ago when times were much different then and everyone knew everyone else in the neighborhood.

My advice is you make sure your parent know of and approve of you spending as much time as you may be with him. Check the sexual register to see if this man is list as a convicted sexual predator.

It is just not right for a 32 year old man to spend a great deal of time with a 13 year old girl. The problem is not you. The problem or my concern is with him.

I'm not trying to scare you. You are young and your maturity level leaves you open to someone who is out to harm you. I may not know your name that does not mean I would not be hurt to read about you or hear about you in the news.

Please make sure your parent know and approve of this man.

Is masturbation harmful to man health?

Short answer is No. It is actually good for you as it relieves the sexual tension you build up. Masturbation, with in moderation meaning not an all encompassing activity, studies show is actually good for the prostate.

when you have sex in the shower with a guy and he has a condom on and the condom gets wet, can a girl still get pregnant?

Condoms are 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. As long as the condom does not break your chances of getting pregnant remain at 15%.

That being said soap will degrade certain types of condoms. The manufactures of the condoms are aware of sexual practices. Such as where and how people have sex. Look on the box and there should be warning labels as to what types of lubricants can be used and should not be used with the condoms you are using The warning label would most likely say if sop will degrade the condom. If it doesn't go to the manufacturer's website and look there.

Hopefully you are over 14. IF so under a federal law known as HIPPA you can ask you doctor for birth control pills without parental permission. This law was written by congress to give young people over 14 medical confidentiality when it comes to their reproductive systems. So they would seek medical help if needed. As a byproduct of this law birth control can be asked for and given to those over 14 years of age with or without parental permission and parents can never be informed.

How can a Christian control sexual urges/desires?

The best way to control sexual urges is through masturbation. Now the Church, all recognized religions included in the world church, may not condone masturbation They do not condemn it either. This means it is not a mortal sin.

A recent survey showed that 85% of the population masturbate. With the Christian Religion making up the vast majority of the world population. The results of the survey says that most of those who follow the Christian religion masturbate.

Masturbation is a safe way to relieve sexual tension while getting in touch with your sexual identity. It is my belief that parents and clergy are more concerned that masturbation will lead to more sexual experimentation. This is why they tell children it is wrong and has less to do with religious aspects. This was not my belief when raising my child though every parent has a right to raise their children as they wish.

I will try to make this short

I am getting married in a few months. My parents are divirced and my father has never really tried to initiate contact with me. Now that I have been planning a wedding, I seem to be resenting my father for loss of time abd not trying. I asked my mother to walk me, my step father is a JOP who will take the honors of marrying us. My father will be at this wedding...I have stopped talking to him from 2008-2012 due to the fact that I got tired of being the only one tryibg to have a relationship with my dad. I am getting tired again, He still doesn't call or visit me. It is his birthday on July 3rd and I was invited by stepmother to have dinner. I don't even wabt to go nor do I want to buy him anything. Instead I am feeling the want to just forget it and be happy with people who try to be in my life. I almost feel as I am a burden and unwanted. If it weren't for me visiting him (30 min drive) there wouldn't even be any relationship at all. I love my dad but I seem to not wabt to waste energy any more

You're about to get married which tells me you're an adult now and entitled to live your own life. Sometimes that means going against accepted tradition.

I know exactly how you feel as for most of my life , from early teens until he died, my father and I did not have the greatest relationship. About 10 years before he past away he said something to my wife that hurt her deeply. I don't know what was said she will never tell me. That was the final straw I cut all ties to my father as I finally had enough. I wrote him a letter and told him exactly how I felt and that I remember every wrong he ever did to me. That I have overlooked them but would not overlook what was said to my wife. He would need to apologize to her, he never did.

I told my sister I wanted nothing to do with him but if he was ever in a position where he needed help and I could write her a check to help, then she could contact me. That was the limit of what I was willing to do for him as after all he was my father and that was my obligation to him.

I tell you this for there are times when a relationship with a parent, especially a divorced parent is not going to be what you want it to be, nor can you force it to be. It sounds like your stepfather is your true father the man that raised you, was there for you when you needed him to be. The man who waited up for you when you were on a date.

Your stepfather is the man you honor as your father. Your biological father does not seem to want to have the relationship you would like to have with him. Don't beat yourself up over this. Your fortunate to have someone in your life to take that place. Be there for your biological father should he ever need your help. For now the ball is in his court. You've tried. Move on with your life.

Congratulations on your forthcoming Nuptials.

I am currently an adolescent male (age 15) and after this summer I am currently going to be attending my sophomore year within the Chicago area. Anyway since recently I have had sexual like feelings toward a girl ever since a party approx. 2 weeks ago. As for her she is also sexually attracted to me and is relatively the same age in fact older than me by a month but so me and her continued to conversate about future life plans when she brought up intercourse and said she had no previous " experience " with sex and stuff so I honestly had a couple of condoms layin around from my old man and she was on the pill as well but just wanted to know and/or clarify if there is a true expiration date not when specifically. But just wondering if there is one

You are by age, 15, old enough to purchase condoms without parental permission under a federal law known as HIPPA. This law gives anyone over the age of 14 medical confidentiality over their reproductive system. As part of that medical confidentiality anyone over age 14 has the right to purchase any birth control device or ask a doctor to prescribe birth control medication.

This law allows for anyone over 14 to seek out a doctor for anything related to their reproductive system without parental permission, be treated by the doctor all with strict medical confidentiality. Parents cannot be told for what you are being treated for without your expressed written permission.

Congress did not write this law to give teenagers license for sex. They did so to ensure that teenagers sought out proper medical advice when needed for problems with their reproductive systems. Why? Because it was found that most teenagers are reluctant to go to their parents with these types of problems. Now whenever a doctor is examining a male or female reproductive system parents are not allowed in the exam room if the child is over 14 years of age. This insures their medical privacy.

So you can go to any pharmacy and purchase condoms and cannot be turned away. If you cannot afford to purchase condoms go to any planned parenthood office and they will be given to you free or for little cost.

I am 13 years old and I talk to spirits in my head. They dont reply. I just tell them to keep my family safe and healthy (kind of like my form of a God). It scares me and whenever I wall into a room I have to tell them not to harm me. Is there a name for this (like a mental illness)? Ive never told anyone about it before, should I seek help? By the way, i have OCD if that could have anything to do with it.

None of us are doctors so we cannot say definitively that this is a mental illness or not. Reading the answers by others I believe we are all in agreement that this is not a mental illness.

I believe this is linked to your OCD. Has your OCD been properly diagnosed and are you receiving treatment? If not you should be. Proper treatment for OCD should be with a Board Certified psychiatrist for medication. No you are not mentally ill. But since OCD does affect how you act and think a psychiatrist is the best person to treat you and prescribe medication.

Sometimes it has been found that talk therapy with a psychologist is helpful for those suffering with OCD. The psychologist is able through talking with you to help you deal with the effects of the OCD; like talking to spirits. There is nothing wrong with talking to spirits if it makes you more comfortable. But, if you are not comfortable with that a psychologist is the person that can help you deal with that.

My suggestion is to talk to mom and dad. IF you are not seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist. Tell them a kindly old man whose son, when your age, suffered from OCD as well recommended that you do see these doctors. My son is now into his thirties and is a paramedic/firefighter with no ill effects from his teenage OCD. We got him the help I am recommending your parents get for you.

I do not believe you are mentally ill as you might think. In the same vein there is never anything wrong with seeking help if you are uncomfortable with anything.

Hello.
I was wondering; can I orgasm by masturbation if I am still a virgin?

Short answer is yes. For tips on how to bring yourself to orgasm through masturbation. Search masturbation tips on the web.

If you're a girl an are having trouble reaching orgasm it is not that you are doing something wrong. You may be among the 20% of women who are more clitoral than vaginal. Meaning your clitoris needs to be stimulated more than your vagina to orgasm. A web search will help you find the best way to do this.

Hey,
So I want to do some extra journalism work experience abroad. I have found this reliable website and gotten a brochure.
The only journalism placements are:

India, Ghana and Mexico

Which in your opinion is the 'best' country to go to. For an 18 year old who looks more like 16?
Thankyou x

It is my opinion given your age that this is something you should be discussing with your parents. Since you asked for our opinion mine follows.

Of the three places you have given none are what I would consider safe for a young person your age. As for working as a journalist I would think getting some schooling first would be important before attempting to get any work experience.

If I were you dad I would suggest you get the first two years of journalism school under your belt at college. Then for the summer between your sophomore and junior year we could revisit this as part of a summer work study program and the extra credit it would bring. As a work study program I believe it would open a host of other locals that are a whole lot safer then the ones you have listed here.

Of course this is just my thoughts on the matter. I'm sure your parents will have there own thoughts on this. Just bear in mind that there are a lot safer places in the world that you can accomplish your goal when talking with your parents.

One more word of advice. You may be legally an adult now. Though if mom and dad are going to be financing this trip they have a large say in where they will be willing to spend their money to send you on your work adventure. They may just agree with me that college comes first. My suggestion of two years of college and a summer internship overseas is a good compromise to offer if they do want you to finish college first..

I currently live in the US and will be going to a uni here, majoring in nursing. I've kept a close eye on the UK Job Shortage list because after I graduate I would like to live in the UK, and for a few years I wanted to be a Nurse Anesthetist. However, recently I realized that the UK does not have those, however they have PA(A)s, which are similar (correct me if I am wrong). On the shortage list I saw these were needed:
"non-consultant, non-training, medical staff post in the following
specialities:
- anaesthetics"

Now, seeing this, would that include PA(A)s? If it does, how do I become one? After reading on some websites I found this:
"PA(A)s are qualified healthcare practitioners who are currently voluntarily registered with the Association of Physicians’ Assistant (Anaesthesia) and are invited to be Affiliate Members of the Royal College of Anaesthetists. A career as a PA(A) can begin via two routes. The main groups of people eligible to commence training as a PA (A) are:
-Registered healthcare professionals (examples are nurses or operating department practitioners) with at least three years clinical experience and/or degree level studies."

Statement says that to begin a career as a PA(A) you can start out as a nurse, correct? So if I get my bachelors degree in nursing in the US, can I then do my 27 month studies to become a PA(A) in the UK (with a visa) and then get a job and live in the UK (England specifically)? Also, would anyone have an idea on the salary of a PA(A)?

Any help would be SO much appreciated!
By the way, I am really interested in Anesthesiology, so if you see something on the shortage list that wouldn't take that long to get qualified for please let me know!

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/sitecontent/documents/workingintheuk/shortageoccupationlistnov11.pdf

One last thing, I begin uni in the US in Early September and plan on majoring in nursing, so again, if you see a career that I could study for with a bachelors in nursing on the shortage list that would be great!

The Heath System in Great Brittan is vastly different then what we have here in the States. Your course of study here in the states may or may not qualify you for the position you seek in the UK.

What I suggest is you contact the British Embassy or one of their consulates they have in different states to see just what you need to study or what course of study and degree they will accept to certify you for the career you want to work in over there.

While you are talking with them also find out what you need to do to gain a work Visa so that you can work and live in the UK. You cannot enter a foreign country as a visitor and work there. Most foreign countries require Work Visas' and some require entry permits as well.In general work Visas are only issued in those professions or job categories they are unable to fill from applicants within their own citizens.

Truth be known we need Nurses, Pa's and Nurse Anesthetists' here at home, especially with the new health plan President Obama has enacted. If for some reason you find you cannot enter and work in your chosen field in the UK. You should follow your desire as their will be a great need for your profession here at home.

In short my suggestion is to call the British Embassy or visit them if possible. Get all the facts you need so you can get the courses you need and apply for the right Visa and entry permits you may need to work in the UK.

By the way; I too have been fascinated with Great Brittan. I believe in the old saying that we are two Countries separated by a common language. We are as different as we are alike. I find it fascinating to see the differences between us and yet we are so much a like.

I wish you all the best and hope you get to live an work in the UK.

I am 17 years old and me and my boyfriend were 'grinding' tonight on his bed. I was on top of him when i felt something wet down there and i asked him if anything had happened. he went to the bathroom and changed his underwear and shorts because he said that he had ejaculated. I was wearing cotton yoga pants and underwear and he was wearing boxers and shorts. i know i may sound uneducated but i need my worries to be put to rest. is there a possibility i may be pregnant?

Is it possible that you will get pregnant from what happened. Short answer anything is possible. The possibility though is low. Chances of you getting pregnant are something like 1 in 10,000.

Even though the possibility is low, and I assume you are not on birth control, it would be in your best interest to purchase and take the Plan B pill. The plan B pill can only increase the chances of you not getting pregnant.

Being 17 you are well within the age limits of a Federal Law known as HIPPA. This law gives young people 14 years and older medical confidentiality relating to their reproductive system. Meaning you can make an appointment to see a doctor, visit a doctor and be examined by a doctor for anything related to you reproductive health. All with or without parental knowledge or permission. This would include asking for birth control medication.

Your doctor cannot discus with anyone anything concerning these visits or medical treatment you receive. This includes your parents, their lawyers and the courts. Your mother cannot be in an exam room with you if a doctor is going to do any type of female exam unless you give written consent to the doctor for mom to be there. The same is true with medical information. The doctor needs your written consent to release it and then only to those people you give consent. You cannot be forced to give consent.

Given your age you should be carrying a health insurance card with you at all times. This is all you need to visit a doctor or hospital. Your parents insurance company does not require parental permission to pay for any treatment you seek or require absent a parent or in the case of treatment under the federal HIPPA law.

This law was not meant as a license to have sex. It is meant to give young people the right to seek medical advise that they might not otherwise seek without this law. Given that you are somewhat sexually active, grinding, unless you have objections to birth control. I would suggest you see your GYN and ask for birth control medication.

I am an 18 year old girl.
Every time I'm with my boyfriend and we make out I get wet but as soon as he starts to finger me for a few seconds I get dry and it hurts. After that I can't get wet again...what is wrong?

While I cannot be sure I would guess that it is nerves kicking in. Most likely you are not able to relax enough to enjoy what is happening. There can be many reasons for this. The biggest one among them is being discovered followed by the taboo that has been drummed into you that sex before marriage is wrong.

Dealing with the last one first. You are 18 now legally an adult allowed most of the pleasures of adult life, a sex life being among them. You can see your doctor and ask for birth control medication if you want and do not need parental permission to get the medication or see the doctor. In fact now that you are 18 your parents have no control over your medical life any more. While you do not need birth control medication if all that is happening is being fingered, as you cannot get pregnant from fingering. Being on birth control will allow you to relax and enjoy what is being done without worry if you should allow the boy further liberties.

The next biggest libido killer for women is lack of privacy and comfort. If you are going to allow a guy to finger you then make sure it is someplace that you are comfortable and is secure from discovery and intrusion. Unlike men, women need to be comfortable when having sex to enjoy it. If they are not comfortable they are not enjoying themselves they get turned off and as you are experiencing they go dry and the things hurt.

If none of the above is true then there may be one other reason. That would be that you are one of the 20% of women who are more clitoral in nature than vaginal. Meaning your boyfriend fingering just your vagina does nothing for you. That he needs to also stimulate your clitoris in order to excite you.

Should I be totally off base with everything I have written then a discussion with your gynecologist would be in order. Here again you are 18 now. Your parents do not need to be informed, the GYN cannot legally inform them of any medical condition you may have as you are an adult with total medical confidentiality. You have to give the doctor permission to allow anyone to see your medical information. This will include your spouse when you marry.

As for discussing this with your GYN; do not be embarrassed to do so. Sexual problems is one of the gynecological functions of your GYN as they care for your reproductive system. Nothing you tell them will embarrass them or should embarrass you.

I want to finger my best friend Emily she's hotter now and I have always been in lve with her since I first met her she finally grew tits and definitely hit her period so how do I get her to let me finger her?

Lightoftruth is correct in what was told to you. You don't get or make a girl allow you to do sexual things to her. Being intimate, which is another way of saying getting sexual, with someone is the end result of a loving relationship.

You have written that this girl is your best friend. I have to warn you that the best way to ruin a friendship is to a) have sex with them and b) to borrow money from them. It is not impossible for friendships to become romantic and finally sexual. To go from friendship to sexual will always ruin a friendship for if you ask or try to force your friend to allow you to finger her or to ask her to do something to you; it will almost always be rejected and ruin what may have been a life long friendship.

My advice is if you value your friendship then do not try to be sexual with her.

Hi everyone ..
Im 24 married for 2 years, don't have any children, im married to this wonderful guy,recently his brother has passed away, and he's the only chance that his parents would have grandchilds, the problem is that im not ready for the responsebilty,im not ready having a kid, im not sure if I ever gonna want one because of the presure,, and the other thing that im not in love with him im not happy with him maybe because I married him soon, he was my first and we got married...so I took a decision I left him and now im in my parents house, we're thinking abt divorce, the thing is that im not getting at any conclusion, I mean he's in love with me he cares abt me ..are those reasons enough to me getting back to him?? I feel that I don't deserve them in a way..I don't know what to do ..should I leave him or otherwise. ..

I do not think any of us can really tell you if you should or should not get back together with your husband. If I read into what you wrote the best advise I can off is the following.

Undoubtedly one of the biggest responsibilities of marriage is children. This question is something that should be discussed long before the two of you take the walk down the isle to begin your marriage. You say your not ready or sure if you want children. There is nothing wrong with that. Some women just do not have that maternal instinct or need.

You also said he was your first, you married too soon. These two reasons are very much at the top of the list as to why marriages fail. You also a say that he loves you and cares for you. You ask are these reason enough to go back to him. They could be if there is any love left for him in you. The fact that you feel you don't deserve them puts that in question.

One of the hardest thing in a marriage is communication. Many times people marry because the sex is great. Then one day they wake up and they need to talk to each other and can't. This is when those marriages start to fail for the lack of communication. Could this be another of your problems; a lack of the ability to truly communicate with each other?

Since I see you as being two-thirds of the way to the divorce court. ou have nothing to loose by trying marriage counseling. The fact that you cannot come to a conclusion yourself tells me there may be some small spark left in you for him.

Marriage counseling will help open the door to communicating with each other. You can then discus what I believe is the biggest pressure on you; children. This is something that is or should be discussed between you and your husband. Outside pressure from your parents or in-laws has no place or bearing on these discussions.

It is my belief that if it is possible for you and your husband to come to a unified decision on the biggest problem. Any of the smaller problems will either resolve themselves or fade away.

I hope I have helped.

So I'm 13yrs old and I know for a fact that my dad is cheating on my mom...so I kinda know at first but know I clearly know that it is true because I have evidence...so I went to my dads phone and went straight to the messages and I saw this number so then I clicked on it and it was my dad having a conversation to the ugly lady..i know because she sent pics...but anyways she called him big daddy!! Yupp that awsome but I was soo mad... I told my mom about less than a month ago so she Knows.. And she was crying and I felt bad so I have the lady's number and I am going to call it in the morning to see Wat happens so everybody wish me luck..... Oh and YES I know that this is know of MY business

I don't know what good you think you will be doing in calling this women. She will most likely tell you to mind your own business. That you are a child and have no idea of what is going on or talking about.

To an extent I agree with her in that nothing good will come of you calling her. You have informed your mother of what you suspect or found out. If you had written us first my advise would have been not to tell her and to stay out of the middle as there is no good out come that can come of informing your mother.

Since you have already done so the best thing you can do now is to be supportive of your mom and not to choose sides in whatever comes of her knowledge of your dads cheating.

There maybe more to this then you are or should be aware of. People cheat on their spouses for a variety of reasons. It does not make it right but at times it does offer some justification.

Just remember there are two sides to every story. Until you have heard your fathers, and nothing says you will. Remain neutral, continue to love and respect both your parents. Whatever is the problem is between them and has nothing to do with you or anything you could have done to cause it or prevent it.

Well I'm fifteen and while I was just doing my buisness and I noticed I poop with some blood I got scared and don't know whats wrong what is wrong?

Anal bleeding is not always serious but does require a doctor to examine and find the cause. In many instances were red blood is seen after a bowel movement the cause iseither a hemorrhoid, internal or external, that has bled or an anal fissure. Most of these are considered the result of hard bowel movements an stool softeners are recommended. In some cases the doctor may want you to see a proctologist who is a specialist who deals with problems relating to the Anus and the related anal system.

As I said this is generally nothing serious but you do need to have a doctor check this out. Tell mom or dad what is going on and have them make a doctors appointment for you. At your age you are old enough to be seeing a gynecologist and you may be more comfortable with your gynecologist then your family doctor. Either doctor can examine you for this problem.

You are also old enough to be examined by a doctor without mom being in the exam room with you if this would be embarrassing for you. Under a law called HIPPA mom can only be in the exam room with you if you ask her to be there with you. If you would rather have just the doctor and a nurse just say so and mention this is your right under HIPPA.

is this possible that hymen breake in periods...?

Taken from About.com

Question: What Should I Know About The Hymen?

Answer:

What Is the Hymen?

The hymen is a piece of tissue that, during development, blocks some or all of the entrance to the vagina. It exists in many species, and scientists have no real understanding of its purpose in humans.

Not every woman has the same type of hymen. In some women, the entrance to the vagina is mostly, or completely, unobstructed; in others, a condition called imperforate hymen can block the entire entrance so that not even menstrual blood can escape. There are, of course, variations in between.

What Does the Hymen Have to Do With Virginity?

The presence or absence of the hymen does not say much about a woman's sexual experience. Many women lose their hymen through physical activities such as bike riding, while others maintain their hymens even through early sexual experimentation.

The concept of "popping a girl's cherry" is archaic, as well as medically inaccurate. Even for a woman who still has an intact hymen at the time of her first sexual experience, the hymen usually stretches during penetration, and it may or may not be painful. Sometimes tearing and/or bleeding may occur, but that has to do with the flexibility of the tissue. Every woman's body is different, and so will be her experience with sexual penetration.

Except in societies where a woman's life and social standing may be in danger without this structure that is often misconstrued as physical evidence of purity, there is little to value about the hymen. Nonetheless, plastic surgeons have developed a procedure known as hymenoplasty to recreate the hymen surgically in women who have lost theirs. Although it is somewhat ridiculous for a woman who has had sex to believe that reconstructing her hymen will make her a virgin again, the surgery can be useful for women whose lives might be in danger without it.

Interestingly, some countries consider hymenoplasty to be a form of female genital mutilation, and it is occasionally outlawed under statutes designed to protect young women from this type of violation.

I'm a female, 16 years old. Me and my boyfriend(who's the same age as me) are both still virgins, we were talking about losing our virginity to each other. We're a little bit scared thou, and nervous, we don't wanna use a condom either Anyways, We love each other very much, we think it's time... I'm just a little nervous it might hurt. Ughh, should I wait ?

At the end I will include a link to a site you should look at to decide if you're ready. I found this site some time ago when I first saw this same question. I have given this link to many young women since then and they have written back to thank me as they have found it answered all their questions as to "AM I Ready>"

To be honest with you the fact that you are writing to us tells me you have reservations about having sex. For good reasons too.

First: Having sex without using birth control is like playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver. Contrary to what you might have heard you can get pregnant the first time you have sex. You should be on birth control and the boy should, make that must wear a condom.

The fact that you are 16 means a Federal Law called HIPPA gives you medical Confidentiality over your reproductive system. This means you can see a doctor for anything related to your reproductive system including requesting birth control without parental permission or consent.

Second: It is going to hurt. Why? While you may have the body of an adult female. Your body is still maturing, this includes you vagina. If you have trouble inserting a tampon or cannot insert a tampon how to you expect a boys penis to fit in you without a great deal of pain.

Fact is that when your body is ready for sex your vagina will stretch to accommodate a penis with little or no pain. The only pain you should feel is the tearing of you Hymen if still intact. How much pain you will feel differs from women to women as each person feels pain differently. Measured on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst pain. Tearing of the Hymen should fall at about a 3 or 4.

Having sex without using a condom is very risky. First you are the one who is going to get pregnant not the boy. You are the one that has to tell her parents she is pregnant. You are the one who has to decide to have the baby or an abortion and only you under the HIPPA law can make that choice. Your parents cannot force that choice on you. You are the one that stands to be an unwed mother trying to complete high school and college while possible raising a child. The boy for the most part gets of Scott free. When he is 18 you can petition the court for child support from him.

Will you get pregnant if you have sex without at least using a condom. The chances are just not in your favor. Condoms have an 85% effective rate at preventing pregnancy.

Please think about what I have written while reviewing the information in the following link.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

So basically, I'm 14 and I've been dating this guy for four months. The first two months were amazing; he made me feel like I was the only girl around. But then I started noticing that he wasn't that communicative and on my birthday he just texted me saying, "happy birthday XD". After doing so much for him, I was hurt. Then recently, I went for a vacation and when I came back, I found out that he "partially" likes another girl ; a girl a hate. I suggested a break because I was too hurt and also because if I would show my sadness he'd end up crying and making me feel much worse. I don't know what to do. I told him we get a chance to start over but I love him alot. Please suggest me something which I can do!

I will let you in on a little secret. Boys your age do not define love as you do. To them love has the same meaning as lust plus they are very fickle. A boy will flit from one girl to another swearing his love for her to get what he wants which is sex. He is hard wired from puberty to find sexual relief from all those new hormones now coursing through him. Thus the word horny. Many boys use the line; "If you love me you will have sex with me." Don't fall for this line for that is all it is. Once you have sex with him he will move on to another girl.

I can't tell you what to do about him only what I would do if the situation was reversed. Fact is I would not see him any more as he has shown his true colors. The fact that he did not properly acknowledge you birthday, even with a card, should also tell you something about him.

As an adult I also know and can tell you he is or maybe the first of several "true" loves you will have while in high school. This is all a normal part of being a teenager.

I know you are hurt by what he has done. In away it is suppose to hurt. It is all part of the learning process that being a teenagers is all about. Being a teenager is all about preparing for life as an adult. It is the time for making mistakes that your parents are there to correct and pick you up from and help you move on from.

What you do about his boy has to be your choice, your decision. I've given you my thoughts and I hope they help.

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