|
Should I trust him or should I not?
So basically, I'm 14 and I've been dating this guy for four months. The first two months were amazing; he made me feel like I was the only girl around. But then I started noticing that he wasn't that communicative and on my birthday he just texted me saying, "happy birthday XD". After doing so much for him, I was hurt. Then recently, I went for a vacation and when I came back, I found out that he "partially" likes another girl ; a girl a hate. I suggested a break because I was too hurt and also because if I would show my sadness he'd end up crying and making me feel much worse. I don't know what to do. I told him we get a chance to start over but I love him alot. Please suggest me something which I can do!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
So I first want to say that it's definitely ok to be upset over this. Your feelings are completely valid.
In the majority of relationships, the first couple months are great. It's the excitement of a new relationship and you're just happy but eventually those new excitement feelings are gone because you've been together longer than a couple months. Most people think that there always has to be a spark every time they look at someone like they did in the beginning, but if you have feelings for them, there doesn't necessarily need to be a spark.
As for him liking another girl. In my opinion, it's normal to become attracted to someone else. But if you spend too much time around that person you're attracted to, you develop feelings.
My guess is that the new excitement feeling wore off on him and he got bored so he started hanging around that other girl and was starting to develop feelings. Although it's weird that this happened so soon in the relationship because you've only been together for four months.
Either way, it's not right, nor fair but it happens.
I'm going to suggest talking to him about it. If you're willing to give him a chance to work through things, then go ahead. It's not right of him to start crying and make you feel guilty. If he doesn't listen to you and start crying again, tell him you're not going to talk until he gets a hold of himself because this is serious. If he just keeps doing it, then there's really nothing you can do..maybe write him a note? Although it's better to talk about it in person.
So give it another try and talk to him.
]
I will let you in on a little secret. Boys your age do not define love as you do. To them love has the same meaning as lust plus they are very fickle. A boy will flit from one girl to another swearing his love for her to get what he wants which is sex. He is hard wired from puberty to find sexual relief from all those new hormones now coursing through him. Thus the word horny. Many boys use the line; "If you love me you will have sex with me." Don't fall for this line for that is all it is. Once you have sex with him he will move on to another girl.
I can't tell you what to do about him only what I would do if the situation was reversed. Fact is I would not see him any more as he has shown his true colors. The fact that he did not properly acknowledge you birthday, even with a card, should also tell you something about him.
As an adult I also know and can tell you he is or maybe the first of several "true" loves you will have while in high school. This is all a normal part of being a teenager.
I know you are hurt by what he has done. In away it is suppose to hurt. It is all part of the learning process that being a teenagers is all about. Being a teenager is all about preparing for life as an adult. It is the time for making mistakes that your parents are there to correct and pick you up from and help you move on from.
What you do about his boy has to be your choice, your decision. I've given you my thoughts and I hope they help.
]
At your age, all teens are just starting to experience and learn about dating, usually through the school of hard knocks....by making lots of mistakes. So he has no idea what to do yet to do it the right way. If You are honest with yourself, you don;t know everything yet either. So if you think this guy is worth being with, and care about him that much, then have a heart to heart talk.
See if he will agree to a set of rules you both create and promise to abide by, boundaries you do not cross. One would be total honesty with each other. This means if at some point you realize you no longer have interest, you dont go for someone else behind their back. You own up to your feelings and be honest even if it hurts becuase to go behind someones back hurts worse. Part of experiencing dating is the joys and part is the hurts. You will experience both in your life. You'll figure out what else needs to be set as a rule. If he's unwilling, he's not serious, move on to someone else.
]
More Questions: |