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I can't stay wet!
I am an 18 year old girl.
Every time I'm with my boyfriend and we make out I get wet but as soon as he starts to finger me for a few seconds I get dry and it hurts. After that I can't get wet again...what is wrong?
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I always have him use a lubricant on my clit for example when stimulating it because yes it hurts when any wetness or even lube is soaked up by the skin. So sometimes I have to use a petroleum jelly product. Having a lubricant makes the friction more intense and there is no drag or pulling at the skin which after a while can even at times create a small tear. If we went to working on fingering inside, my g spot, I need to be already aroused for that to work so lots of kissing, foreplay, clit work helps. Then again, it can be how much liquids you drink, vs something drying like wine or coffee. That can have an effect but more of the time it's where my mind is at, if I am distracted by stress over something.
I don't know if you both are trying for the g-spot orgasms, so if you are, it can be very dry in there too until you get very aroused. Instead of going into details on the g-spot I will leave you with a short video on the g-spot done by my favorite sex advice person for teens and college age, Sex Plus with Laci Green on youtube
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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While I cannot be sure I would guess that it is nerves kicking in. Most likely you are not able to relax enough to enjoy what is happening. There can be many reasons for this. The biggest one among them is being discovered followed by the taboo that has been drummed into you that sex before marriage is wrong.
Dealing with the last one first. You are 18 now legally an adult allowed most of the pleasures of adult life, a sex life being among them. You can see your doctor and ask for birth control medication if you want and do not need parental permission to get the medication or see the doctor. In fact now that you are 18 your parents have no control over your medical life any more. While you do not need birth control medication if all that is happening is being fingered, as you cannot get pregnant from fingering. Being on birth control will allow you to relax and enjoy what is being done without worry if you should allow the boy further liberties.
The next biggest libido killer for women is lack of privacy and comfort. If you are going to allow a guy to finger you then make sure it is someplace that you are comfortable and is secure from discovery and intrusion. Unlike men, women need to be comfortable when having sex to enjoy it. If they are not comfortable they are not enjoying themselves they get turned off and as you are experiencing they go dry and the things hurt.
If none of the above is true then there may be one other reason. That would be that you are one of the 20% of women who are more clitoral in nature than vaginal. Meaning your boyfriend fingering just your vagina does nothing for you. That he needs to also stimulate your clitoris in order to excite you.
Should I be totally off base with everything I have written then a discussion with your gynecologist would be in order. Here again you are 18 now. Your parents do not need to be informed, the GYN cannot legally inform them of any medical condition you may have as you are an adult with total medical confidentiality. You have to give the doctor permission to allow anyone to see your medical information. This will include your spouse when you marry.
As for discussing this with your GYN; do not be embarrassed to do so. Sexual problems is one of the gynecological functions of your GYN as they care for your reproductive system. Nothing you tell them will embarrass them or should embarrass you.
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