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my friend is 6 months pregnant and shes only 13 but i dont knw wot to do. i know i shudnt get involved but i'm the only person shes told and she has no intention of telling any1 else. her bf's a prik so he aint worth telling. i jus dont want sumthing to happen to her or the baby when i cud of helped by telling somebody. i dont want enyfin to happen but i dont want to loose a m8!

Hey,
You NEED to tell someone. To avoid losing her as a mate, you should probably suggest to her that if she doesn't tell someone - or at least go to the doctors - then you will. She has to go to the doctors at least and get checked out in case there is anything wrong with her or the baby...she could be risking her life by not going.
How is she planning to hide a baby once it's born? You really have to talk this all through with her. I don't think she seems to realise quite how serious it is. She doesn't have to tell her boyfriend, but she should tell her mother.
Don't worry, and don't feel bad by forcing her to tell someone/telling someone yourself - you could be saving her life. You're exactly right in wanting to tell someone. Just make sure you're there for her but give her some space if she needs it :)
If she won't tell her mother (or another adult) and you're still struggling over what to do, maybe you could talk to a school counsellor or someone who could convince her that she needs to tell people?
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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well lately my friend, we can call her susen, has been really depressed lately. teachers have been noticing and she is starting to cut herself, when her other friend we can cal her lily goes to theropy for that now! she shows me and there not to deep but she told me how shes started to do it more now and shes scared. how can i help her? i mean i told her when she feels like doing it to call me and talk to other people. i dont no what else to do. i dont want to tell anyone becasue she might get mad and i told her i'll b here for her. what else can or should i do?

xo briana

Hey,
You're doing the best thing you possibly can right now, just being there for her!!
You're right that she may get mad if you tell anyone, so don't until you feel like the situation really calls for outside (e.g. counsellor, psychiatrist) help. If it does come to that, tell her she shouldn't worry - these people never tell anyone else what's going on, it's part of their job.
She says that she's scared and believe it or not that's a good thing - accepting that there is a problem is half way to solving it :)
Just tell her that she's doing great and you're always there for her. Your idea of getting her to ring you is really good! Whenever she does that, talk through why she wants to cut with her - 'a problem shared is a problem halved', and all that. It might get that particular problem out of her system and mean she doesn't want to cut over it!
You're such a great friend for sticking by her :)
Good luck to both of you,
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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hey,

i have to write a folktale in english, its going to be read by 7 and 8 year olds and maybe younger. can someone give me some ideas to start it off and what to put in there? -thx

Heya,
Don't worry too much about this - 7 and 8 year olds won't be looking for amazing plots :)
You just need a very simply storyline and the usual characters (princess or heroine, baddy, a wise person, etc etc). Maybe you could research folktales on the internet?
Don't worry if yours seems similar to many other folktales, too - they generally have the same storyline, just written in a different way.
Ooh, you should probably think of a moral (don't talk to strangers, wolves are bad, lol, etc) and work towards that cropping up at the end too :)
Mail me if you want any more help!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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for the last few nights ive been wking up really early for some reason. i havent changed anything at all. ive been going to sleepa t about 11 for over a year now but for the last few days ive been waking up at like 4:30 insteadof aroudn 8 or 9 like i should be (im in college) anyone wana offer an explanation? ill rate high unless you piss me off.

Maybe one of your neighbours is getting up at 4.30 at the moment? My next door neighbours at my old house went out at about 5 am, slamming their car doors and waking me up every morning for 3 days, and it took me a week to stop waking up automatically at that time. If so, you're probably just a light sleeper...you could try something like a lavender pillow or calomine room spray to encourage deeper sleep?
If you're not one of those people who have to have complete silence to fall asleep, then try leaving the radio on low - it'll get you used to background noise while you sleep :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I recently asked people whether i shud go out with tom or declan! i decided to go out with tom but his three best friends have text me saying he doesn't like me anymore. its really annoying and messing my head up because he told me he still liked me and he told my best friend he still liked me aswell! i dont what to do? any ideas of what i shud do?

Hey,
don't listen to his friends; they are most likely just trying to stir things up. However, all this telling best friends stuff won't get any of you anywhere - you and Tom need to talk to each other and sort out what's going on (and some practical jokes to play on his 'friends' if they are messing you around! :P)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Hey guys, our Sadie Hawkin's dance is coming up, and I want a creative way to ask my guy. We're dating, and I don't really have to ask him, I just kinda want to. Lol. Some ideas have been:
Balloons
Puzzle
Cake (but that won't work because I can't bake...)
Um...I think that's all my friends have thought of. If you guys think one of these ideas is great, tell me, and lemme know if you have any other ideas! Thanks =)

Spell it out with M&M's on pizza like they do on Princess Diaries :) lol. Only substitute M&M's and pizza for his fave foods.
I like the idea of balloons...maybe you could write, 'come to the dance with me?' on a piece of paper, roll it up and put it into a balloon and then blow the balloon up so he has to pop it to get the message out? Or if he likes football, do it with a football?
Have a good time at the dance!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Hi, I'm a 17 year old fmale and I'm trying to lose weight. I'm not overweight officially, I'm a size 12 (UK), but I do look really chunky next to my friends who are all like size 8/10. I've been dieting really hard for a fortnight and I walk 2 miles once and sometimes twice a day and do sit-ups every day but it's not working at all! I don't feel any better, no-one has commented and my clothes all fit the same. If it's really not having any effect then should I stick at it or try something more drastic? It's just I'm hungry all the time as it is and I'm always going faint or dizzy between meals so I'm not sure I'm eating enough anyway. Help me!! xxx

Heya,
If you're walking so much then you could be replacing fat with muscle, meaning that you weight the same. Although it does mean that you are burning stuff off way faster (even when you sleep)!
I'd eat regular, small meals or have healthy snacks (not fruit though, because that's really sugary...if you want something sweet, try low fat yoghurt) throughout the day rather than eating three big meals :)
Are you on any kind of offical diet (like, a named one such as the kellogs one when you eat cereal twice a day, or weight watchers or whatever?)? If you aren't, you might wanna try it because then you get an exact idea of what you should and shouldn't be eating.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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hey! i really need to lose weight b4 spring. i am 13/f and i weigh about 95 pounds. i know this isnt like overweight, but all my friends weigh 80 pounds. whenever we go shopping, i feel like a freak. does anyone know any good tips to quicly losing weight? Thanx!

Don't worry if you weigh more than your friends - you're probably just perfect as you are :)
However, if you do want to lose weight, then you can do stuff like eating small, regular meals (say five times a day) rather than huge ones three times a day. It keeps your metabolism going and you burn stuff off faster, as does excersizing in the morning.
Ooh, and cut out on cola and fizzy drinks or anything like that. Either drink fruit smoothies or water, because everything else is absolutely loaded with sugar :)
Good luck and Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I'm really scared bcus i'm only 14 and i've found out i'm pregnant. my ex doesnt know bcus we had a really bad fallin out and my mom wud totally freak if she found out. Wt shud i do. i'm scared to tell enyone even by best friends! i just act normal but i can nevva take my mind off it!

Hey,
Like the other person who answered said, you're going to have to tell people soon. Maybe you could start with your best friends and kind of work your way up to your mum? And you don't have to tell her face to face - you could always leave her a note or something.
However, I do kinda disagree with the last answer (no offence :) ) - the ex does NOT have to be a part of this baby's life if you don't want him to be. If you want him around, then tell him, but no-one is forcing you, and babies are fine without their father's. There's a lot of stuff around about how divorced or seperate parents really 'messes up' a child, but everyone who knows a kid from a single parent family or is one themself knows that it's a load of rubbish. Honestly, as long as it's loved by you, that's all that matters. Basically what I'm saying is, don't feel pressured into telling the father because you 'should' - it's entirely your choice if he's around or not. If he is, that's great, just remember that there's no law or whatever saying he has to be :)
And I just want to say that everything will be OK. Don't panic, and just look forward to having an extra person to love in your life!
Good luck, and mail me at mitzirox1986@hotmail.com if you ever want to talk :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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i think that i am pregnant but i don't know! I don't wanna buy a pregnancy test cause i am only 15! I don't wanna go to the doctor because they may tell my parents! If i am pregnant should i abort my baby or just live with it? Please help i am soooo scared!

Go and buy a test - pharmacists won't judge you, and lets face it, you'll never see them again in your life. You could also go to the doctors - it's illegal for them to tell your parents anything without your consent, even though you are underage.
Abort if you want to...but...don't do it if you're not sure. You want to spend forever regretting it. If you can't live with the baby, you could put it up for adoption?
Finally, good luck, and don't panic :) Everything will be OK. Mail me at any of the addys on my profile if you ever want to talk =)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I always study for test really hard. But all the time when I get the test back I made an F. I just get nervios and mess up. How can I get over it? I dont want to study all the time like I do and all I get is an F. It will really help me if yall tell me how to get over the freakking out on the test.THanks


I rate high (4&5)

Hey!
I'm exactly the same. It sucks doesn't it?
Anyway, I heard a bit ago that if you do something familiar during a mental block in a test, it helps to calm you down and get you thinking straight. In my last test (a German exam) I had a total mental block on what this word meant. I remember the tip and recited the alphabet in my head and it worked! I'm not saying that it will always work, but you could try it :)
I also find that revising STRAIGHT before an exam doesn't help. Leave at least half an hour between revising and the exam...I know it's hard not to cram revise, but if you've done enough revision before hand, that extra half hour will serve no purpose but to confuse you.
Also, go in BELIEVING that you can get a good mark - you don't have to be thinking, 'I'll come out with an A', but if you go in thinking, 'God I am going to go to pieces in there'...you will. Try and think positive :)
Good luck on all your exams and I hoped that helped!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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hi. i am in a relationship where we keep on breaking up and gettin back 2getha. its for dumb little reasons neither of us really know y.
i want 2 give us anutha chance i really do but i dont want to get hurt again. this is the 7th time we have split up in a month. is it worth it?
i am not happy here. i cry every time we break up - it hurts just as much as the 1st time.
thnx. bi.
g x

Hey,
People must be so fed up of me saying this, but...don't stay where you aren't happy! Life is too short to spend it wishing you could be somewhere else.
I always think that 2nd time around relationships never work (let alone 7th time around ones!), but I'm not so sure about yours. You sound like you break up for little reasons most people would just talk over...do you break up every time you have an argument? If so, just talk things over instead of running away (that applies to both of you!). You also say that you cry every time you break up - that could mean that you love him as much as you always did.
But still...7 times? You really, really need to have a proper conversation with this guy - and your heart. Do you want to be in a relationship where this keeps happening? What if you stay together for years and kids get involved - do you want them going through their parents splitting up a couple of times a week?
What do you want? If it's not this, you know what you have to do.
Remember that there are other people out there...don't hold on to this guy for the simple fact that he's a guy.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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What i wonder is why.....i do everything i am asked to do, if i do one thing remotely wrong, im bitched at for several days. Why does she single me out....It cant be because im the oldest, my brother doesn't do anything and he is such a little pecker....So what the hell did i do to piss her off....NOTHING. But i still get bitched at, why do you think this is....its really pissing me off

I'm just wondering...are your parents divorced? It's just that mine are and my mother did much the same thing for a long time (still does) because she was so bitter about the divorce and blamed me for it simply because there is no-one else there.
Anyway, whether your rents are divorced or not, if your brother is younger, she probably feels like she can't blame him for anything that's going on because it would be like picking on the 'baby' (no matter what the age, the youngest is always seen as the baby). So, the only person left to blame is you...it's mean that she takes it out on you though. I don't think she could be just picking on you for the sake of it...is she having a bad time at the moment or something?
Either way, I'd talk to her and ask why she's being so unfair.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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i started to go out with this guy 3 weeks and i feel very strongly about him. we were such good friends before we went out. i feel like everything has changed between like 3 or 4 friends of mine and i've done everything i can and everything i could do and said. i just dont know what to do anymore.. i hate it and i dont know if anything is going on and i dont always know why im crying. im scarred of being hurt i hear that im going to get hurt and that im going to get cheated on. please give me something..

Going out with him would change everything...just remember that change isn't always a bad thing. Talk to your other friends and try and work some things out with them. Say you want it to go back to how it used to be (obviously with the except of losing your boyfriend!)
What do you mean by you don't know if 'anything is going on'? I can't really understand the last part of your question, so all I can say is that if you're crying, you're obviously not happy in the relationship. And you should never stay where you're unhappy.
But if it's your friends making you cry...give them some time to get used to the idea of you going out with this guy. It's probably still very new to them. Talk to them and figure out what's going wrong...
*Hugs* They don't know that you're going to get cheated on. Don't listen to jealous people who are scared of change - listen to your instincts. That's all you need. If you're really worried you're being cheated on, talk to your boyfriend too.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I'm pregnant but I don't know if the guy I'm with is the father. I cheated on him with my ex, along the sametime as I got pregnant. What do I do? Do I tell him that he might not be the father?... he's gunna freak!!!! and how do I tell my mother I'm pregnant.. and I don't know who my baby's daddy is?

OK - firstly, don't panic :) Everything will be OK, you've just gotta think calmly about this. If you don't want to tell your current boyfriend that the baby may not be his, don't yet. Either try and work out who's it is or get an DNA test (your's and the ex's DNA, if he consents).
Do you have to tell your mother you're pregnant? Like, do you want to or do you have to because you live with her or whatever? If you don't have to, then wait until you're ready. If you live with her, she'll obviously notice lol, then you don't have to tell her that you don't know who the father is. Telling her you're pregnant is big enough news!
Lastly, I'd just like to say how brave you are and how strong you must be to be keeping this baby! Most people at 18 would have an abortion and have no second thoughts over it. I think you'll make a brilliant mum, so no worries there :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Is there anyway to make your metabolism faster?
How about slower...like what makes it slower? I've heard eating too little actually does that? Some information here, please.

Excersizing in the morning helps too :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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how do become more happy and try to make my life less boring.. i feel like i do the same thing every single day .??

Hey!
What do you actually do in a day? If you can, try joining some kind of club (it could be anything, from aerobics to a book club), going out new places with friends, maybe even getting a pet if you could! Think of any activities you can do or would like to try, write them on little pieces of paper and stick them in a hat (oh yes, the good old hat method :P) and pick one out every day/week :)
As for makign your life more happy - try to make a conscious effort to not complain about things. Complaining is like a vicious circle - once you're into it, you just can't get out and it keeps making things worse. If you are a complainer (like me :P) then try and find something good in every day and just focus on that instead!
I hope that helped!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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with her what should I do she is telling me that I don’t love my boyfriend and she thanks that I wont her boyfriend bout I have known hem for 6y and I have known my boyfriend for 8y and I have been growing out with hem for 1y how do I tell he that she needs to stop with out getting cutout spohnsara@yahoo.com

Hey,
First off, DO you love your boyfriend? Just because you've known him two years longer than this other guy, doesn't mean that you care for him more. If you do, then you need to tell your friend that she's being paranoid - but not in so many words, or she might get offended, lol. Assure her that you're not interested in her guy (if you're not) and make sure she is OK with that. You should probably ask her why she's being so odd about everything, too.
If your friend won't stop bugging you about this, then you may have to threaten her with ending your friendship (i.e. if she doesn't stop obsessing over your feelings for your boyfriend; after all they're none of her business) - it may be the only way to stop her.
Good luck :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

P.S. Am just wondering why you rated me a 1 yet didn't critisise my advice? I figured there had to be something wrong with it to get a 1...could ya point it out for me so I know what I'm doing wrong?

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yes...its me again!ok here we go,me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 months and i just came back to school w/him and...i think i might want to breakup with him...but im not shurr!my friends say no bc they know that i love him and that i will go out with some guy that i think is hott and then just go running back to my current boyfriend bc no1 eles can make me feel the way he does...and i need some space! or just time to figure myself out but i dont want to do that to him..he is my bestfriend and he is my everything and im scared that if i tell him i need some space or time that he might do something "stupid"...and i dont know what i would do if it broke his heart and he stoped talking to me...i ahve always treated him bad by breaking up with him for no reason...and he loves me anyway! he is head over heals inlove with me and i am with him...but i just came back to my old school and i am trying to turn my life around and i just need time to figure it out...and i cant just tell him that i dont think he would understand...idk..please give anyinfo you can or advice...lataz

Hi,
You say you keep breaking up with this guy - why? If you two keep splitting up, then there must be something wrong with the relationship. Are you sure that you're not just with him because he loves you, and you're scared that you won't find that with anyone else?
You've gotta ask yourself what you really, really truly want out of a relationship, and if this guy can give it you. If the answer is no, then break it off. He WILL get over it - people do, honestly. It sounds extremely harsh, but it's true.
For now, don't break up with him - stay with him, but take a week to figure out what's going on in your head. If, by that time, you're still not sure, then take a break - but warn him that it might not be temporary. If you're not happy with this guy, then get out of the relationship.
Just remember that, if you do break up with him and go out with a 'hott' guy, don't go running back to him. It's not fair on him or you, and there are other people out there who will love you. Good luck :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I like this one guy in my class. I talk to him alot and we get along well. The thing is, first, he is a grade older then me (sophmore) and second, we are two way different people. He's really smart and kind of nerdy, I guess you could say. Also, hes more into a real relationship and doesn't seem like a shallow,"want to get some" guy. I, on the other hand have never had a real relationship because I always end up finding a shallow guy and I give it all away. I really want a true relationship and I have never liked a guy like him before, I guess my question is, how do I get a guy like him, what's he looking for in a girl, and does every guy just look for sex?

Hiya,
1st, don't worry about you two being so different - life would be extremely boring if we were all the same and they do say that opposites attract :)
It's great that he's into 'real relationships' - something that you seem you want. If you can find a guy who is great, who you like, and who isn't just in for the sex, then don't let him pass you by!
Not every guy is in it for sex (although about 90% of them are lol) ... if you want a real relationship (no offence, but something pretty rare in a high school kid) and so does he, then you two already sound great for each other!
All you can really do is talk to this guy, get to know him a bit better. Drop some hints that you like him, and if you don't think that he's getting the hint, then just ask him out straight - don't be left wondering what could have been!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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