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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I have to write a paper for my anthropology course on an article about the Ice Age, and I have no idea how that ties into anthropology. Can anyone suggest any ideas?

Normally I do not help with homework as that is not what this site is for. Given your question I can see where it is possible the correlation may not have been drawn for you. So hopefully the following will be found helpful.

anthropology by definition is: The scientific study of the origin, development, and varieties of human beings and their societies.

The ice age change both changed as well preserved the origin and development of the planet as it was before the ice age. This is why it relates to anthropology.

I am SO confused.

HPV can cause oral cancer... fact.
HPV can be spread through oral sex or EVEN kissing.
There is no test to know if you have HPV.
More facts.

HOW on Earth is it safe to even date people anymore if a bunch of us are carrying HPV and something as simple as kissing can spread the virus which can lead to throat cancer?

Are a ton of today's youth going to end up with throat cancer unless we vow to not kiss anyone until we get married?

This is terrifying me... it makes me want to not date. Ever.

Razhie did a good job clearing up some of the things you did not know or were false about HPV so I won't go there.

What I will address is being terrified about life. Life has risks, that is just the way it is. There are things we can do to mitigate these risks. Such as using condoms when having sex even if you are on birth control. Condoms are effective in preventing transfer of certain STD and HIV/AIDS virus. It means to not have sex with people at risk for certain STDS and the AIDS virus it does not mean not to enjoy a sex life, just take proper precautions.

Simple precautions like looking both ways before crossing the street so you don't get hit by a bus or car minimizes risk of being killed while crossing the street. Not crossing the street at all greatly reduces your world to just one square block.

Having annual medical and dental check ups. Going to the doctor if you suspect something or you don't feel well. For women, men too it means doing a breast exam with your morning shower. Early detection of a lump means any cancer is almost always a total cure.

There are things we do everyday almost by root that minimizes are daily risks. As long as we do things that do not put us at great risk we will live a long life.

To be terrified at some of the things that are out there that can do you harm is wrong. That is not the way to live your life. In fact it is not living it is hiding. Take proper but not excessive precautions and you will be fine.

An example: My son is a paramedic/firefighter. He is paid to take risks. He could not do his job if he was paralyzed with fear. He knows the risks that are out there when responding to medical and accident calls. He trusts his training to protect him just as he does when entering a burning building. I trust his training to keep him safe. Yes firefighters do die in the line of duty. It happens when they don't follow their training. I trust my son not to take unnecessary risks and to follow his training. If he does take a risk it is to save a life. we all accept this.

Risks are a part of life. You protect yourself against the ones you know. You try not to take unnecessary risks unless there is no alternative. Most of all you do not let those risks paralyze you with fear. Life is too short for that.

Female, 20
Hi, so I've been talking to this guy for a long time now. I first added him on facebook because I thought he was cute, he's a couple years younger than me. We've never hung out in person but we've texted and talked on and off for years now. Sometimes he calls late like 2 or 3 in the morning and I don't answer cuz I don't want to send the wrong message, and I haven't really made an effort to hang out during the day I really don't know why. I'm shy. But I wanna know why he continues to pursue me it's been years! We don't have very intimate conversations either its just chit chat. Is he just looking for sex? I'm a single mom so I am super careful with men. Oh and a side note, if I get into a relationship we stop talking but I've noticed he hadn't had a girlfriend the whole time. Well not from what I know. Please help! Thanks!!

You say this guy is a couple of years younger than you. That would make him 17 or 18. At this age I would say you are right to be cautious. Guys this age do not do all of their thinking with the head that sits between their shoulder blades.

If he knows you to be a single mother. Then he may be thinking you might be easier to get into bed then a girl around his own age. He is wrong but as I said the wrong head is doing his thinking for him.

The fact that you do not see him with a girlfriend during you contact with him is also a caution flag. Many times on social media boys will represent themselves as being older than they are. The fact that he has not had a girlfriend during your time of conversation tells me this boy may not actually be 18.

My advice to you is if you wish to stay in contact with over social media that is your choice. I would suggest that it remain just that. Do not agree to meet with him. If you were to consider having sex with him make sure you know his true age. For if he is under age you could be in deep legal trouble.

Hi I am a fourteen year old and I am in High School. I don't want to sound vain or anything but I think I'm cute. But anyways, boys stare at me but they never talk to me..like NEVER. Why is that? It really kinda makes me think there is something wrong with me, and I've even cried my eyes out because of this. It's not only boys who stare at me but its also girls..some of the girls look at me with hatred in their eyes. You may think this is a stupid question but is there something wrong with me? I always try to be very nice to everyone and give them a smile or ask how there day was. Thanks in advance.(:

Being 14 is a very strange age for everyone boys and girls alike. The biggest problem of this age is puberty. Kids develop at different ages which means they enter puberty at different ages and they develop at different rates once they do enter puberty. Which just happens to hit most people with its biggest effect right around your 14th birthday.

Why the boys stare at you is easy to answer. You are most likely one of the prettiest girls in school. One of the girls that has developed faster than some of the others.

As to why boys stare but do not talk to you. Well that is easy to answer as well. They are to scared to talk to you. They figure you may be too pretty to talk to them or they as is mostly the case just have not figured out yet how to talk to girls. This is why guys to some stupid/silly stunts in front of girls to impress them.

As for the girls the biggest problem is on of jealousy. As I said we all develop at out own rates. Some girls may envy that you have developed better than they have or that you may be prettier than they are. They really should not be jealous for at their age their body is far from being finished developing.

A girls body changes far more radically them a boys body does. A girls body changes from her hairline to her ankles while a boys body changes more internally and needs exercise to define externally.

Just continue to be the person you are. The girls will continue to change and will become more like you are now. The boys will eventually learn how to talk to you and other pretty girls. There is also no reason why you cannot go up to a boy and talk to him. Just don't laugh at him when he steps all over his tongue.

Please pardon me as this is a bit long although I have tried to keep it as brief as possible.

I am a 27 year old working woman.
My problem is how my aging dad treats me.

I do not like how he taunts me on things that hurt a lot. For example, I had once lost my job four years ago although I never had a problem getting a good job after that.

Funnily though, since then, if I were to for example, disagree with my dad on something and talk strictly with him over the phone if he is adamant on something he wants me to do which I do not want to, or if we disagree on something and he is constantly arguing, then he would start telling on how I got fired once from my job and that if I continue arguing like this, I will keep getting fired.
Even the world wants to forget my embarrassing incident that took place four years ago but he is the one who keeps reminding me of the same. And I am saying this IS a taunt and not an advice from a father because he only says these things when I slightly raise my voice to him being adamant on something I have to do.
When I mean "raise my voice", I don't yell or anything but just an irritated type of my tone of voice is what I mean.

On another occasion, he started the same taunt when I said "I do NOT want to eat" when he started to insist that I should eat more of a lunch item that mom had prepared when they came to see me at my place for five months. He kept insisting on the food and I got irritated so I just said "No".
I mean I was getting frustrated when he insisted on me eating more when I had enough of it.
To my "No", my mom jumped in and told my father "Good, you should not have forced her to eat in the first place and hearing the same, he started telling "This is the way you speak in front of your office colleagues and that gets you fired". Wha! What does he even think about himself?
Seriously, I am done talking to him since he keeps broaching that old rotten topic up. He is still at my apartment visiting me for three months and I do not maintain proper communication with him. I can't if it doesn't come from my heart.

I wanted to also touch base on another fact that happened 15 years ago. I was at home and so was my dad. I had gone to the washroom. In a few moments and surprisingly enough, the washroom started shaking!! It was an earthquake!
I could hear my dad shouting "Come out of the washroom we have to go downstairs".
I was doing number two and couldn't not come out right then and there. I said I am coming in two minutes. Can't even believe he actually told me then that he is going to the elevators himself and in fact, he actually left the apartment in the 16th floor without me - which really shocked me!
What if the building had collapsed? Is that acceptable for a dad to leave their children alone in a time of crisis?

I am sure when I got out of the apartment, I got my pet with me (thinking just in case, the building indeed collapsed).
I was v young at that time so I started giving him the benefit of the doubt trying to give no importance to it all but the fact is he acted very selfish at that time.

I think the combination of these all, his earthquake behavior and then these taunts together can't be taken anymore.

Basically with these taunts, I think he is trying to tell me to tone down or else he will keep taunting me about a thing that hurts me so much.
Although what really is happening here is that he thinks in his mind that it was just MY fault in that firing because of my general nature and he has told me this numerous times in the past that it is my mistake.

My dad needs to know that TIME has passed since that incident and that I have been holding better jobs since that incident so he has no right to keep taunting me of that incident over and over.

Each and every employment problem (even current ones) I innocently share with them and he taunts me for that and blames me for anything stressful situation!
Even if he is a guest at my apartment, I am leaving him alone to his own devices - my mom is obviously there with him to give company.
He is free to stay, eat, sleep, exercise and watch TV at my expense but besides that I cannot put up a facade and talk to him when that is not coming from my heart. I do not talk to him to avoid confrontations altogether.

On another level, I truly think my relationship with him is over.
I would love opinions on whether I am doing the right thing or not by avoiding him to bring peace upon myself.

This is a extremely hard question to deal with even though I have experienced very similar problems with my own father. In fact I could be writing this letter in your place before my dad passed away.

The difference between you situation and mine is my dad did not live with me, he lived on his own and depended more on my sister for care and other support he might have needed. While I won't go into what happened between us to cause the final straw it had more to do with him insulting my wife and hurting my son. You see that is what my father did, he attacked for the flanks. For over ten years prior to his death I cut off all contact and communication.

It was harder on my sister than it was on me. For at holiday time she could not invite both of us to her home at the same time. I told my sister to invite her father for the holiday and my family would celebrate on our own then afterward our two families could get together. My father was probably quite pleased he won a round causing a rift between me and my sister. He didn't and I so informed him in a very long letter where I brought every time he hurt me from the first time I could remember to the last time. I also reminded him of what he stole from me.

You do not say why your parents are visiting with you. There must be a reason you can't say to them that they have outstayed their welcome and to ask them to go home. Though when they do leave I suggest you take the one page out of my book and write your dad a letter similar to what I wrote my dad. Tell him how hurtful he is and how you do not appreciate dragging up old events to hurt you with. While you're at it you can drag up the fact that he left you alone during an earthquake and how scared you were. Yes you can ask him what type of parent does that.

You should add that if he cannot be civil with you. That if he not constantly bring up old events. Then he is not welcome in your home, and yes remind him that you are an adult now. That as you get older you mature just as he did and problems that may have occurred in the past you have learned from; as adults are suppose to.

The reason I am suggesting you write to your father is in order to avoid someone they have to know they are being avoided. With my father I had to tell him I wanted nothing more to do with him. His favorite way punish us all through childhood was not to speak to us until we apologized to him even if he was wrong.

I cannot tell you why your father does what he does. I can tell you my father did this because he would not allow us to win against him. He has to come out on top regardless of what the situation was. He could not bask in our glory, he had to find someway to top us.

20/f

Okay so I started waiting tables about a year ago. At first, I loved it. Not only was I making crazy amounts of money, but I actually enjoyed my job. Now it seems as if I'm burnt out on it. I hate waking up each day to go to work and I can't even enjoy my days off because I know I'll have to go back soon. I've tried taking vacations, but that just makes me hate it even more. I feel stuck because I HAVE to make that kind of money in order to afford rent and other bills. I'm still in school so I'm not really qualified for jobs that make above minimum wage. As far as I can see, serving is as good as it gets for me. But I'm miserable. It's not that I'm lazy.. I just hate doing the same thing a hundred times a day. And I'm even GREAT at my job. I just hate it and I've honestly contemplated running away but then I realize I don't have the money! What other kinds of jobs are available, or what can I do to make myself happier with where I'm at?

IF it helps any your not alone in how you feel at the moment. There are ways to make yourself feel better about your job and yourself.

We've all been were you are now at least those of us who are older and more settled. Your current situation is a means to an end. Waiting tables is a means to an end. The end is finishing college and getting the type of job you have studied all these years for. Hopefully the type of job that pays they type of money that will allow you to have all the good things in life you would like to have. This is the light at the end of the tunnel.

Some people would call this time in your life paying your dues for a more successful future. Call it what you want we all go through it. What you need to do know is to find a better way of dealing with the present away that doesn't take a whole lot of money.

Dealing with the public is not fun it is hard work so it is possible to burn out. At one time I worked for a major airline back at a time when flying was still fun and most people dressed up for their flight. Even back then dealing with the passengers was not easy and burn out was common.

What we are really talking about here is stress and in your case you get a double dose. Stress from work and of course stress for school. You need to find away to lower your stress or deal with it better.

I would suggest the first thing is to learn to accept the fact that this job is the best and quickest way for you to get what you need to remain in school. It is a means to an end not a life time vocation. If you accept that as fact and look past the day to day aspect you will deal better with it.

Next is finding a way to relieve your mental and physical stress. I don't know you so it is hard for me to make any real suggestions. What are things you like to do. How about reading just for the pleasure of it not because you have to read for school work. Maybe take a book and if the weather is nice go to a bark or beach and just relax and read. Go to a museum or movie if you like or just curl up on the couch with a tub of your favorite ice cream and put a girlie movie in the VCR or download one from Netflix. There are probably 100 other things you can think of to do other than the few I have suggested.

The object is to unwind and relax to get lost in something else. For me I sit down at my computer and write. No I do not intend to ever publish anything I write. What writing does is allow me to get lost in the world of whatever I'm writing about. Reality returns when the phone rings, my wife comes home or if my son stops by. For me this is the most relaxing time of the day.

Take heart in the fact that your good at what you do and make the money you need to finish your education. That puts you in the upper percentage of your class mates. Many students work two or more jobs and may not make the money you do. If you want to talk about being stressed out or burnt out. Talk to one of your fellow students who is trying to juggle classes and two or more part-time jobs.

If you will remember this; that those who have come before you have gone through what you are going through and survived, so will you. This is simply a means to and end and in reality a short term proposition.

This girl at school (actually has my name) is being a little jerk. There are these water fountains at school connected to eachother so if both run at a time they run low pressure... I was filling up my water bottle before PE and she kept turning on the other fountain and making mine spray low... I told her not to fuck around and let me fill my damn bottle and she says "I was here first!" and I think why doesn't she get a stupid drink and quit fucking around in the first place. She also uses phrases to me like "None of your beeswax!" (LAME!!). I'm not hurt but I just wanna know if I should do something about it or just give her a dirty look or scare her out of messing with me (Trust me, I'm A LOT bigger than her). I'm also friends with her brother.

This part of what you wrote; "I'm also friends with her brother," may be the key to the whole problem. It is called sibling rivalry. By messing with you she is in her mind messing with her brother. Why I can't say.

The one thing you do not want to do is mess with her in anyway that she can say something to school authorities that would get you in trouble. School has just started for the year in most of the country and this is really not the best way for the two of you to start the year.

None of your beeswax??? I haven't heard that since I was in high school and trust me that was many decades ago. This girl is either living in the past or watching to much old time television programing. Since she is living in the past the correct answer would be to tell her to keep her mouth shut or her marbles may fall out.

Joking aside just ignore her and try to avoid her. If she seeks you out report her harassment of you to a teacher or the school principal or say something to her brother if you want. It doesn't sound like she is worth getting in trouble at school over.

I have a home for which I paid $335,000 at the highest point of the real estate market. The house is now worth $200,000 at best. Recent struggles have put me two months behind. I can catch up but it will not be easy. My wife and I have seen a significant income decline. Leaving the house and filing and bankruptcy could hurt my future employment prospects. Should I keep the house and try to catch up or let it go and face financial ruin?

Before you do that check into something called a H A R P loan. I do not know to much about them. They are suppose to be for people like you who are upside down on their mortgage and as you may have suffered with significant income loss as well. These loan allow for refinancing the loan at lower rates and possibly adjust the amount of the loan itself.

Each state has different rules so you need to go online and check for a HARP Loan. Follow the prompts for your state.

Then there is also the possibility the bank will agree to what is called a short sale of your home. This is where you sell your home at or around current fair market value. Which is what your bank would have to do if it foreclosed. Fact is a home sells better and faster if it is occupied and is kept up then if unoccupied and vandalized in any manner. Banks have many properties already on the books unsold so your bank may be willing to allow a short sale. I'm not sure how this looks on your credit rating though I'm fairly certain it looks better than a foreclosure as it is a negotiated settlement.

There are a number of programs out there to avoid foreclosure. Do not expect or trust your mortgage bank to tell you of these programs. They don't have the time or inclination to do so. Contact your county or state office for information on programs that can help you if you want to remain in your home.

I would also suggest you contact a real estate attorney for legal advice on some of these programs and how or what the long term effects to you would be. The more educated you are the more beneficial it is to you.

The long and short of my answer is this. If you want to stay in your home there are programs out there you may qualify for to help you stay in your home. You just have to find them the bank is not going to tell you about them. If you want to walk away from your home there are programs that will allow you to do so as well. Different programs may have different long or short term financial effects or penalties on your credit rating. You need to know what these are before you decide which program best suits your families needs.

Good luck, I hope I have offered some help.

I am a 22 yr old male. I need advice in dealing with the relationship between my parents & I. One year ago I had my first child, my girlfriend & I were living with my parents at the time. My mother said some really hurtful things to my girlfriend and then called the law on us. Our newborn son was removed from us for one month and my parents had him during that time. My parents took me to court to try and get custody of my son. They told us they weren't, but I did not trust them, still don't. They cheated me of a month of my son's life. I'm angry that they called the law on me & my girlfriend and feel that they are wrong and could have handled things differently. I feel that my mother is trying to control my life and take away my son. I know she does not like my girlfriend and feel that my parents will do anything to take our son away from us again. My parents want to talk to me and have said that they are sorry, but I do not believe them or trust them. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive them. I allow them to spend time with my son, but feel they abuse my generosity and always want more time than I tell them they can have. If it wasn't for my girlfriend convincing me to let my son see them, I'd never let them see my son or ever talk to them again. I think he should only stay with them one weekend a month, but they always want more! Should I take my son away and never allow them to see him again and kick them out of my lives now? It also angers me that they do not respect our rules with our son, they let him get by with stuff we do not and he is difficult to deal with after spending a few days with my parents. How do I deal with this? They are wrong in what they did and they don't seem to get it. They think they are right and are better parents than we are! They don't respect me or my rules and feel like I have to set strict boundaries with them. I just want them to leave me and my family alone, my son needs us, not my parents!! What would you do??

There is probably more to the story then you have related here. I would have liked to have known more about the removal of your son from your custody, why it was done and what was said to the police by your mom. Removing a child, especially a newborn from its mother is not something the police or child services does easily. The fact that he was returned to you so fast tells me whatever was said was found not to be true in part or in totality.

In any case I can understand how this event could anger you towards your parents and why you are asking us the questions you have asked. Your girlfriend is not wrong when she insists that your son should see your parents. It is not that they need to see him but that he needs to see them. They are for right or wrong part of his family.

That being said you and your girlfriends are his parents. If your parents do not abide by your parenting rules which would include any rules you have for them while he is in there care. Then visitation with them may or should be modified. It does not matter what they think if you're being too strict with him. He is your son. As long as you are properly caring for him and he is not being abused or denied proper medical care, food or clean clothes. They have no say in how you and your girlfriend chose to bring him up.

As I am old enough to be a grandparent I will admit part of being a grandparent is the fact that grandparents are more likely to spoil grandchildren than they spoiled their own. Two reasons for this is they are more financially able to know and every child deserves a bit of spoiling now and then, with in reason.

Visitation is a right you and your girlfriend grant unto the grandparents, Aunts and Uncles if you choose to do so. Grandparents and Uncles, in most states do not have visitation rights under the law. If your parents will not abide by your rules than visitation might have to be changed to only with you or your girlfriend present.

Since there seems to be a great deal of contention between you and your parents. I would suggest you contact a lawyer to seek legal advice as none of us are lawyers. This is to prevent or forestall any future attempt by you mom to take your son away .

I want sex with a female (13 male)

I'm sure you do. First you are way too young to be thinking about having adult intercourse. You are too young and too immature by age to be responsible for the act of intercourse.

Just because you want something does not mean you should have it or get it. You probably also would like to drive a car. You're too young to do that as well. Sure you could do it by sneaking the keys to the family car or stealing a car. To do either would probably cause your legal driving ability to be delayed until you will past the legal age to do so.

Having sex now, if you could find a willing female, which would also involve a number of legal problems for you, her or both if you did. Could cause you many problems for the next 18 years if you were careless and not responsible in having sex.

What I will suggest is you stick with masturbation for now. It will relieve the sexual tension you have because of puberty. You will not face any legal problems for having sex with any female if you were to find a willing female. Most of all masturbation will not get a girl pregnant and ruin your life for the next 18 years for which you will be financially responsible for that child's well being.

Just because you're horny does not mean you have to have sex with a woman. Miss thumb and her 4 sisters will do you very well for now.

Hi,

I'm a thirteen-year-old girl. For some reason, several people think I'm smart, but I'm not. At school, my work is always high-quality. Therefore, people think it is easy for me. I often hear comments about how smart I am and how school must be very easy.

However, the truth is that school is not easy at all. It's actually quite challenging, and I struggle with it very much. The only reason why my work is so well-done is because I work four times as hard as any other kid -- but I feel like I have no control over how hard or how quickly I work.

Some people say that I don't need to work so hard and that my work will be good anyway. But that's not true. I'm not smart; I'm actually very stupid. I process things slowly and get stressed out very often, so I work slowly. I will admit that I'm a little bit of a perfectionist, but it's not that as much as it is the fact that I'm just naturally slow.

In seventh grade, I stayed up late every night to do homework, and I always took forever to finish classwork. One teacher in seventh grade once told me that I would get bad grades in high school if I didn't start working faster. It really hurt my feelings when she said that. It also showed me she didn't understand that I had no control over how slow I was.

I wish people would understand that I'm a stupid girl who works hard and naturally does things slowly, not a smart girl who works slowly just because she wants to. Why doesn't anyone understand that I have no control over how slowly I work? And why can't they see how stupid I really am?

P.S. I'm sorry that this question is much longer than it needs to be. And I apologize for any errors in grammar.

Lets get something straight from the start. YOU ARE NOT STUPID. At worst you may be dealing with a learning disability but I'm not an educator or a psychologist trained in that area so I can not say for sure.

If anyone in what you wrote was stupid it was the teacher who told you that you would get bad grades in high school if you did not work faster. As a teacher it is her job to recognize when a student is struggling and why. She did not look beyond the good work you have been doing as such she was wrong, extremely wrong.

Everyone including adults work at their own pace. Being slow does not equate to being stupid neither does being a perfectionist. In fact it is quite the opposite. Someone who is stupid, which by the way look up the word stupid for its true definition, would certainly not be a perfectionist. Someone who is truly stupid, by definition, would be unable to be a perfectionist. By asking you to look up the word stupid. You will see that your use of the word and the true definition are quite different.

Now as for being slow as in a slow learner. There may be reasons for this for which you can be tested. There are a whole host learning disabilities that have nothing to do with your use of the word stupid. They range from having trouble reading to retention of what you read to different degrees of dyslexia. You of your own doing by your dedication and work ethic may have taught yourself to overcome whatever minor learning disability you might have.

Have you spoken to your parents about this. If not I suggest you do. Both the school system and private companies can test you to find out if your slowness in accomplishing tasks is the result of some learning disability. IF so there are methods they can teach you to overcome them. Once they are known to you and your parents. The school system needs to be made aware of whatever the problem is and they must make allowances for it.

I am only guessing that this is the problem though I'm fairly sure once tested my guess will be confirmed. There is no reason you should be so stressed out and down on yourself over something that may be easily correctable or allowed for.

My advice is that you talk to your parents. Have them make an appointment with your doctor for a complete physical including a neurological work up. This is to rule out any organic reasons for your problem. Your parents should then speak with your principal and ask that you be tested. They may have to be insistent considering your grades and the school systems tight budgets. It is there right to ask and the school must comply.

Last you should talk with a private psychologist since the school will send you to their own psychologist. Seeing your own is needed to get an independent evaluation. If mom or dad have an EAP program at work this program will help locate a psychologist as well as pay for a certain amount of visits in full.

Please remember that you are not stupid not in any way shape or form of the word. In fact just from what you have written I see a very smart, intelligent, well educated young lady.

That teacher was very wrong to have said what she said to you. If she is still working in your school your parents should report that conversation to the principal.

So, I think I've been depressed for a while now.. the thing is I got used to being sad and down all the time.. nothing affects me anymore.. not even my long-distance boyfriend. I'm 16 year old female who does not feel anything anymore. I used to love my boyfriend so much, and now I don't know what happened.. it's not just with him its with every person I know.. even my best friends and my family.. they just annoy me.. I find no pleasure in anything anymore.. Sometimes I find myself happy with everything and I get my love back for him and everyone.. its just so frustrating.. my mother thinks its just because of hormonal changes in my teenage years.. but is it possible that I just dont love my beloved ones anymore? I feel crazy..

Your mother was partially correct when she said it is because of hormonal changes. Back when your grandmother and great grandmother were your age what you are going through was called a phase and every one felt teenagers would grow out of it. For the most part they did.

Today we know better and teenagers like you do not have to suffer. There is even a clinical name for the diagnose;"Teenage Depression." Caused in part by hormones and part by the stress of puberty. Because doctors today know the cause of the problem there is no need for any teenager or you to suffer with this. The doctors and or a clinical psychologist can help you with this problem.

You start by making an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical. This is to rule out any organic reason for how you feel. Tell the doctor how you feel and that you feel you may be suffering from some form of clinical depression.

The doctor as part of your physical will screen you for depression. The screening consists of questions the doctor will ask you. Based on what you have written here you will most like score as clinically depressed which is teenage depression.

If there is no physical reason for you being this way the doctor will most likely refer you to other professionals for treatment. Follow the doctors instructions and see these other doctors. If medications are prescribed you should start to feel better after about 2 or 3 weeks as the medication builds up in your system.

Clinical depression is usually the result of too little of one or two hormones secreted into the brain to control mood and stress. The medication replaces missing hormones. When the sufficient amount of hormones is in you body you will start to feel better. Working with the psychologist will help you to learn to identify what is stressing you and how to handle it better.

I'm a thirteen-year-old girl. In elementary school, I was mostly attracted to guys. I sometimes had crushes on girls, too -- but I always tried to ignore the feeling.

It got even worse in seventh grade, when I had a major crush on a female teacher. I couldn't always concentrate on my work because I was staring at her and thinking about how much I wanted to kiss her. I soon decided to accept the fact that I saw girls in the same way I saw guys.

I've identified as bisexual for a while now. I recently started dating a girl who also identifies as bisexual. I have dated a couple guys in the past, but I was never really happy with them. Having a girlfriend now makes me realize how much I love being with a girl.

It's been a while since I was actually attracted to a guy. Now it seems like I'm only interested in girls. And when I think about it, I feel like I would only be truly happy with a girl.

I'm completely aware that I'm still thirteen and that I might be a little young to be worrying about this. But I really wish I knew why I feel this way. Why is it that I was mostly attracted to guys in elementary school but am now hardly attracted to them at all?

TO start with in elementary school you were not going through puberty. You did not have all the hormones raging through you that you have as a 13 year old. Also in elementary school sex and sexuality was not a big part of your life as it is today.

Now as for sexuality, bisexuality, lesbian and heterosexuality. Whichever one you turn out to be is the one you were born to be. You do not secede to be a lesbian or to be bisexual or even be heterosexual. This is all decided and placed in your DNA long before you entered this world.

Now at 13 it is possible, make that very possible that you are, as many do, experimenting with your sexuality. All teenagers do and for many their first sexual experience is with a same sex partner. It is usually in the form of titillation and mutual masturbation for both boys and girls. This does not make anyone a lesbian or gay or bisexual.

In fact given your age I would suggest you forget about labels altogether. Sometimes putting a label on something is helpful and even good. At your age to put a label on your sexuality can be harmful.

There is nothing wrong with being bisexual or a lesbian or transgender for that matter. The problem comes in on how others view the label. Young people your age in school do not do well with labels. Gender identification in school is you're either straight or gay and if you're gay they will be against you and hurt you on many ways.

Plus the fact is at 13 I truly feel you have not really identified your true sexuality. When you do you will know. You will not right and say that you're still attract to on sex or that you are attracted to both sexes.

So do yourself a favor and tell you friend to do the same. Ditch the labels for know. You two can still make out with each other just be cautious. Doing so is not a bad thing as it releases the pent up sexual energy you have and negates the need to masturbate or find a male sex partner which at your age is wrong.

My dad us to say this when he was aggravated;
"I SWANEE"! What does this refer too?

Is 'I suwannee' southern slang? It is a Southern way of saying "I swear" but it's not used very much anymore. It's pronounced "I SWA. Is 'oh flitter' Southern slang

I am 23 years old and my mom told me the other day that she wanted to go see a layer to get papers saying that I can't live on my own because I have the mind of a child what dose this mean ? my cousin told me I could appeal it and she would go with me if I needed her to help me because this is something I don't want to happen what does appeal mean ? what's going on ? what's about to happen ?

Short answer to your question is yes it is possible. It all depends on the type of coservertorship the judge awards and the laws of the state you live in. I suggest you see a. Lawyer to get the best. Answer to these questions and find out how to challenge you mom in court.

I'm going to disagree with what and how laynemayhem has told you what your mom is wanting to do. Your mom is, with the help of a lawyer, going to ask a judge to make her your guardian. They will need to prove to the judge that for different reasons you are unable to properly care for yourself.

Now the words "care for yourself" have different meanings in a court of law. It does not mean that you are unable to dress yourself, bath yourself or even live on your own. It means that you are unable to other things in life that are required of an adult such as paying bills, handling money, signing contracts and a whole host of other things that are apart of daily life.

While I cannot be sure what your mom mean by your having a mind of a child. It generally means your IQ is below normal or that a person is mentally retarded. Some people as a result of an accident become brain damaged and therefore are unable to function properly as an adult. For people with these types of afflictions or illnesses and are of adult age. In order to properly protect and care for them someone like your mom has to go before a judge and prove to the judge that that person is in need of conservatorship, which is a legal term for caring for someone.

You can challenge your mom in court, that is your right. You will need your own lawyer. If you cannot afford one you can ask the court to appoint one. Go to the court house and speak with the "Clerk of the Courts." Give the clerk your name and tell them your mom is telling you she is filing for "conservatorship" over you and you wish to "defend" and need a lawyer.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months now,and I recently found out that I was pregnant.
I don't feel that it is right for me to keep as I still have alot to do with my life. I am 24 and he is 25.
He on the other hand thinks we can work things through and he says he will take care of me and the baby.
My problem is,he is always so busy with and he sometimes doesn't keep in touch unless I do.I look at things now,three weeks into my pregnancy and I really don't believe how he behaves now will be any different to when I am 9 months pregnant.I love him and I want to one day have children with him,just not this one. Maybe when we are married and he will feel the full extent of this responsibility. Right now I feel like he doesn't feel it and that he has his priorities focussed on work stuff. Mind you,I wrote here because even sitting him down to have this talk has been hard and I didn't wanna do it over the phone nor talk to someone who will just judge me.
Help Me.

No one here will judge you, that is not what we do. We also cannot make a decision for you we can only advise you as to what we think is right.

Terminating a pregnancy is probably the hardest decision you will ever have to make. It is designed to be this way for at some point in the future you could regret the decision you make either way. Regretting the decision not to terminate a pregnancy usually is born out on the child and that too is very wrong, so keep that in mind. Nothing says you will other than statistical information.

One of the things I focused in on is what you wrote is that your boyfriends priorities or is focused on work. This is not all bad. It would be worse if his lack of attention towards you were because at 25 he still felt he had to be out drinking and having fun with the guys every night.

You do say you love him and one day want to have children with him. Hopefully that includes marriage as well. I can't tell you what type of husband or father he will be as I do not know him. What I do see, based on your writing is a good provider and that is important.

He says he wants to take care of you and the baby. If you believe he is sincere in what he has said then you need to find a place where the two of you can be alone. Where it is quiet and comfortable, where you can have a conversation about a future together and marriage.

Taking care of you and the baby is one thing Marriage is a whole other thing. Is he willing to take on all the responsibility or just the financial responsibilities of fatherhood.

You have a few weeks to do this before you have to make your decision. I suggest a weekend getaway to some place quite like a mountain or lake cabin or hotel. Now that school is back in session they should be fairly quiet with mostly an older crowd of people so you will not have too many young children running around. You can hike or take a boat out on the lake or just sit on a patio and talk.

I believe it is very important to you to gather all the facts as to what he means by "he will take care of you and the baby." Before you make you final decision.

Two questions that you should ask of him is what are his primary focus at work and when obtained where will he want to go from there. The other question is what are his goals in life, what does he expect to obtain in life and enjoy. You should be prepared to answer the same questions if you two have not already spoken of these things.

You say you love him but not in so many words are looking for more maturity from him. He may be more mature than you think. Those two questions will help you figure out his level of maturity.

I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend without a condom about a month ago and I took 2 home pregnancy tests yesterday and they both came out positive and i am so scared because my boyfriend is black and my family is very racist on my dad's side but my mom doesn't care if he is black or white but she would freak out if I told her I was pregnant by anybody at 14 years old I know this for a fact because my sister came home about a year ago and told my mom she was pregnant by her boyfriend and he was white and my sister was 17 at the time and she kicked her out she said if you want to act like and adult and have sex and then your going to be treated like one the only reason I had sex in the first place was because my boyfriend said he would break up with me if I didn't have sex with him . I asked him to use a condom and he refused but I still wanted him in my life and now i am pregnant what should I do ?

The previous two advisors gave you very good advice and there is not much I can add to theirs except to suggest you follow what they have said.

This is a very hard way to learn a lesson about men and sex. When a man/boy says have sex with me or I'm leaving you. He does not love you he is lusting and horny. He does not deserve you or your love.

In a sense you have been raped since you only had sex with him because he coerced you into it. You by law you're not are not old enough to consent to sex.

If your a refuses to wear a condom tell him no sex. In my day girls had a saying; "No rubber no lover." This of course is all for future reference as the horse is now out of the barn so to speak.

Now that being said let me explain what Dragonfly meant by YOUR right to privacy. There is a Federal Law known as HIPPA. Within this law Congress added a section covering young people 14 years an older relating to their reproductive systems.

Congress has given you total privacy over your reproductive system. Meaning you have the right to see a doctor anytime you feel the need to for anything concerning your reproductive system. You do not need parental permission to do so. Your parents do not need to be with you and cannot be with you during the doctors exam. The doctor is prohibited by law from telling anyone, including your parents, anything about any medical exam or procedure related to your reproductive system. For your parents or anyone else to find out requires a written release from you to your doctor.

How does this law effect you. As Dragonfly suggested you can go to the school nurse and ask for her help. As a nurse she too is prohibited by law from disclosing any medical information concerning your reproductive health.

You can go to any plan parent hood office for a confirmation of pregnancy and counseling as to your options. Among your options of course is your right to an abortion. An abortion is solely your choice an no one else's. You cannot be forced to have one or not have one. Parental rights here are negated under HIPPA.

As for your mom kicking you out of the house. Lawfully she cannot do so. While the HIPPA law protects your medical privacy. There are other laws which prevent mom from doing so, at least until you are 18. Should you chose to have and keep the baby your parents would also be required under the law to support and see to the well being of the baby until you are a legal adult which happens on your 18th birthday.

If mom were to throw you out of the house she and your dad could be charged with child abandonment, child abuse and child neglect depending. They could be charged with one or all of them depending on how the laws are written in your state but the laws do exist in some form.

These are your rights and protections under the law. They are there to protect you in just this type of situation. Make sure to speak up if someone tries to violate any of them.

One other thing. Since you were coerced into having sex with this young man that equates to rape. Young men have been doing what this young man has done to you since probably the beginning of time. The only way young men like him will learn a lesson that they cannot force or coerce young women into having sex with them is to have the back bone to charge them with RAPE.

The definition of rape is nonconsensual sex or being coerced or harassed into having sex with someone. That description fits what you wrote. Talk to the police and if they recommend charging him with rape then do so. You will be saving a lot of other young girls from going through what you are now going through.

Just remember the law is on your side. You have protections from mom.

21 year old female.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. Lately I have noticed that I have put on some weight. I am 5 feet tall and currently weight 136 pounds. I wouldn't say that I am exactly fat but I am not used to being this weight. Either way, I am torn about whether or not I want to lose weight. On one hand, I have preferred in the past to be fit and thin, but recently I have been questioning whether it really is that important to be skinny, and I have been trying to accept myself as I am.

My boyfriend is very sweet and supportive. I have been asking him lately if he thinks I need to lose weight and he would say "no I love you exactly as you are" but I asked him again the other day and he told me that he does wish I would lose some weight and that he is less attracted to me since I have put it on, but he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to be a jerk. I don't feel like it's fair for me to be mad at him since I asked, but I am hurt that he feels this way.

Do you think it's okay for your romantic partner to say this? Other thoughts/comments? Thanks

This is one of those questions we guys consider a loaded question. No matter how we answer we're going to be in trouble.

On one hand if we love you we want you to feel good about yourself and we want you to be healthy as well. On the other hand the extra weight, and this depends on how much is gained, can cause less of an attraction.

My feeling is that we put way too much emphasis on body image today. Thanks to advertisements, movies and television many, especially young women strive to be the sexually attractive women they see on TV, in the movies and in magazines. These women are not formed the way you see them naturally. They have help from plastic surgeons, make up artist and photo enhancing. Many of the models you see also suffer from eating disorders.

What is really important is that you are healthy. It is far better to be 10 pounds over weight, then 10 pounds underweight. If you are in the proper weight range for your height and weight then you should not be concerned. If you are at the top of the weight range than dieting to get in the middle of that range is probably a good idea.

One other thing you need to take into consideration about your present weight. That is why the sudden gain in weight. Usually when someone has maintained a certain wait for a long period of time then experiences a large weight gain there is reason for it. Some of those reason include:

Birth Control medication or change in this medication.

The taking of certain medications such as some antibiotics or antidepressant medication. Many long term maintenance drugs can also cause weight gain.

Undiagnosed depression. When we get depressed we tend to snack and eat more to feel good.

Undiagnosed illness.

I think it is important to find out why the sudden weight gain has happened. Then it will be easier to lose the weight if you so chose to do so.

What I suggest is a visit with your family doctor to discuss your sudden weight gain and have a complete physical including a GYN exam. Once you know the physically there is no reason for the weight gain and you are not overly stressed which is a major cause of depression. Then you can decide how and if you wish to lose the weight.

Last: Don't be mad at your boyfriend. You asked once to often and he finally was honest with you. Hopefully his honesty at least forced you to write to us. Maybe my answer will make you see a doctor to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with you. IF there is then maybe it is been caught early enough that it is of no major problem to correct.

Hi all,

I've got a girlfriend whom I absolutely adore. We've been together for 2 years now, and have been living together for 12 months. I am very much in love with her, and i am convinced that she feels the same - I feel very lucky.

One thing though; she's hinted at my penis being a bit on the underside. Not by much mind, I'm 6 inch and she once said 7 would be ideal as that length she's found 'hits the spot just right'.

Now, my sexual experience is very limited (to her only in fact) while she's been with others before me. That doesn't bother me at all - except for the fact that I still feel like I'm blundering through the dark.

I really want to make her 100% satisfied, with absolutely everything - sex included.

So, what techniques or tricks in bed can I use to make my bit seem just that "bit" bigger to her? Her all time favorite possi is her lying on her stomach while I...well you know :P

Are there certain movements that I can do? Please Please Please any tips (guys and girls too please!)

Razhie is right, there is no way to make your penis bigger or feel bigger/longer. Different sex positions, such as the doggie position your girlfriend likes allows for deeper penetration. There are other sexual positions which allow for deeper penetration that you can look up on the web just by using a search engine and the words; "sex positions or Sexual positions.

One of the nice things about sex is experimenting with sexual positions to find ones you both enjoy. I would not worry about blundering. Your girlfriend loves you and I believe from what you have written you are satisfying her sexually. That is really all that counts as far as sex concerns. As the two of you get more in tune with each other you will both improve in your love making.

The only other thing I can recommend is to talk to her. Communication is key to everything we do in life including sex. Find out what she likes, desires and fantasizes about. You tell her about your likes dislike and fantasies. In the bedroom there is nothing weird, strange or of limits as long as no one gets hurt and BOTH OF YOU ARE IN AGREEMENT TO TRY SOMETHING. Reluctant agreement does not count; you both have to be willing without reservation and if either one says top you stop or use a safe word.

if i have unprotected sex with my boyfriend aftr 11 days finishing my period what happen to me

I'm not quite sure what your question is asking. If your question is that you had unprotected sex 11 days after your period ended. Then the answer is there is every chance you could be pregnant based on several factors.

Most women, about 80 percent, are most fertile during the middle two weeks of their cycle, Based on a 21 day cycle your window of fertility would open on the 3rd day after your period. On a 28 day cycle your window of fertility would open on the 14th day of your cycle.

These are basically statistics that women who use the rhythm method of birth control use to know when and when not to have sex. It is the worst form of birth control with the highest failure rate.

To get pregnant you need to know when in that period of time when you are most fertile that you ovulate and release an egg. It is during this time period, three days prior and three days after that you can conceive a child. There are kits you can get at the drug store to tell you this if you are not pregnant.

My advise is if this was your question you take a home pregnancy test to find out if your pregnant. Follow the package directions as to how long after you had sex as to when to take a test. Then follow the package directions as how to take the test.

IF you are under 18 and still live at home and do not want your parents finding the test kit just prior to when the package you chose says to test.. Purchase the kit. Keep it in your purse until you test. Repackage after use and dispose of it at school or away from home.

On a 28 day cycle your chances of being pregnant are minimal. On a 21 day cycle your risk is high. Good luck.

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