about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i dont have an orgasm at all during sex or with foreplay is there something wronge with me?

No there are many women who do not experience orgasm though they still enjoy sex.

Do you orgasm when you masturbate? If the answer is yes then the reason you do not orgasm during intercourse or foreplay is because your partner is not stimulating you properly. Most men have been taught, or more correctly self-taught, that during foreplay to stimulate their partner vaginally.

For about 75% to 80% of women this is the best way to stimulate them. For the remaining 20% to 25% of women vaginal stimulation does nothing for them. These women get all of their stimulation clitorally. Meaning their partner must spend more or a great deal of time stimulating his partners clitoris on "G" spot which is inside the vagina generally behind the clitoris.

If you orgasm during masturbation it is generally because you, as most women, spend more time stimulating your clitoris. There are women who just don't orgasm, why I really can't say as there are many reasons for this to be.

You have not given your age, so if you are quite young this could be a reason. Another reason, although quite rare today, could be upbringing, where you have been taught that sex is a wifely duty and not something to get pleasure from. This reason is much more 19th century and earlier. It could be that you are young and having illicit sex with a boyfriend and fear, pregnancy and being caught. As I said I can't give you any specific reasons as you did not give any specific details about yourself

My advice is: If you enjoy sex without the orgasm enjoy the sex. IF you are truly concerned about having an orgasm then I suggest you consult you GYN. If you're over 14 you can do so without parental knowledge or permission under a federal law called HIPPA. Your visit and what you discuss with the doctor is confidential and cannot be told to your parents.

[view]


i am 16 and i dont have boobs

Dragonflymagic has some good advice. It is also very possible you are just a late bloomer.

Should I assume you have gotten your period? If so how long ago did it start and is it regular at this time?

Why are these questions? There are other reasons why you may not have grown any breasts yet. Have you ever taken a good look at the female Olympic Athletes? Many of them are as old as 24 or older and have little to no chest (breasts). The reason for this is their training regimen takes all of the calories they take in and leaves little behind to support other than basic body functions.

Female Olympic Athlete while not having any breasts to speak of also do not get there period and it is rare that they would get pregnant while they are training. If your answer to my questions are no or yes and no they are not regular then I would ask you if you are someone who is very athletic and trains long and hard. If yes then this possibly the answer to why you do not have any breast to speak of is they just have not grown out. When you stop training they pop out almost overnight.

If you are not athletic then it is possible you are just a late bloomer. My sister did not get her full chest until she was close to her 17th birthday. When she did bloom she went right to a C cup.

If you’re truly concerned I would suggest you talk with your gynecologist.

[view]


Alright lets keep this simple
Im married but i have a crush on my husband's friend. I love everything about him if i was single this is someone i would absolutely date, i would never cheat on my husband but i find myself constantly thinking of his friend. I love my husband and i wouldn't leave him for anyone but i can not get him off my mind. How can i stop thinking of him?

Short of taking a lot of cold showers I don't think there is any way to stop thinking about someone or something. In fact I see nothing wrong in you admiring or having a crush on this person. The wrong comes in if you act upon these thoughts.

When my wife and I first married, 43 years ago come July, she told me it was okay for me to look at the menu. Should I ever reordered or sampled from that menu she would harm me in a manner I would not ever forget. I told her that was fine and the same went for her, she could look but never touch.

You love your husband and that is the way it should be. Your human and at the moment you may have some lust for someone else. That's fine too; for even former President Carter once admitted he lusted in his heart for the Playboy centerfolds. Lusting or even desiring someone is not cheating, it is human. It is when you act on these thoughts that it becomes wrong.

As I said to begin with cold showers might help. Then again there is masturbation and the fantasies that goes with it or grab your husband and give him a thrill.

[view]


I have been depressed and have had sucidal thoughts and have self harmed for a while now. I really feel like I need to tell one of my friend but I don't know how please help!

Telling a friend is a good idea to help you get back from the edge at the moment. What you really need is professional help to find out why you feel this way. I have been where you are and I know that you are reading what I am writing and saying I'm wrong that you can get through this yourself. That is the depression talking.

What you need to do is pick up a phone and dial 911. Tell the call taker just what you have told us. Help will be sent to you. Your age is not a factor in calling 911. If you are a young teen you do not need permission to call 911. Calling 911 is the same as going to a police officer if you’re lost or scared. You don't need permission for that. IF for some reason you are afraid to tell your parents then this is definitely a reason to call 911.

What will happen is the call taker will most likely stay on the line and talk with you until help arrives. Most likely that help will be the closest police officer and firefighters from the nearest fire station followed by paramedics. They all have one interest your wellbeing.

The purpose of the police officer is to see to it that the fire fighters and paramedics are allowed to check on you should your parents not want them to see you. After talking with you if the paramedics feel you need to be seen by a doctor they will take you to the hospital to see one. So be honest with them and answer all their questions.

Parents sometimes think children that are acting depressed are being melodramatic over something that may have happened. They can be very wrong.

If you are an adult like myself and you are feeling depressed then there are other reasons for this to be happening. Only a doctor can help you to overcome these feeling. Self-harm does not help feeling depressed and it can be very dangerous so please call 911 now.

[view]


How do you find where the closest mailbox is to where you are now?

Go to http://www.usps.gov. You should find what you need on this website.

[view]


I fantasize about other guys and penises when I masturbate. Does that mean I'm gay or bi?

Relax; the mere fact that you are asking this question says you are not gay. You don't wake up one morning and decide you are gay. Being gay is something you are born with. It is part of your sexuality and you would know before now that you were gay.

What is happening is you are discovering your sexuality. Depending on how old you are you may not have much to identify with than other boys your age. As you get older and start mixing with girls your masturbation fantasies will turn to the female breasts and sex organs.

[view]


I'm 19 years old and engaged to the love of my life. Our relationship is outstanding. The only problem I see is my mental illnesses. I have severe panic attacks; severe uncontrollable anxiety; and severe bipolar disorder. I have agoraphobia (fear of people) and I also have learning disabilities due to some brain damage from a past car accident. I'm on a lot of medications which I'm still trying to figure out, because some of them don't work and my bipolar isn't yet under control. Because of all of this I haven't been able to get a job. It makes me feel like a total failure, because my fiancé works so hard and stresses over money, and I feel it's all my fault. He never puts any blame on me or pressures me and is completely understanding, but that doesn't change the fact that I need to get a job to put in my fair share of work. I'm also struggling to get my GED, which is difficult because its so hard for me to learn new things. Does anyone else struggle with these things? What helps you? And how did you overcome some of these things to be able to function enough to get a job and achieve other things? Please help me! I'm very desperate for advice on how to get through this.

First you are putting a great deal of extra stress on yourself which does not help any of the things you are suffering with. The severe panic attacks; severe uncontrollable anxiety; and severe bipolar disorder you suffer from all in one respect or another respond adversely to stress, especially the panic attacks.

I would hope that along with the medications you are taking you are seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist regularly for talk therapy to get at the root cause of some of the attacks.

Having suffered from clinical depression myself I know a little of what you’re going through. Talk therapy along with medication helped. Being compliant with both is a must. I don't know what you mean when you say you're still trying to figure out your medications. Being compliant with your medications means taking them as directed on the labels. All the medication, not just the ones you like or don't make you feel fuzzy.

One thing to remember is your fiancé loves you, if he didn't he would not be working so hard to make a life with you. Next and this is important; nothing you did caused you to have the problems you are having. In a sense these problems where programed into you at birth and environmental triggers brought them out. They can be cured or controlled through medication.

Last but not least it is not your illness that is holding you back as much as not having a high school diploma. The only thing a future employer can ask you is if you have a highs school diploma. They cannot ask you any medical questions and you need not volunteer any during an interview.


[view]




I am a 34 year old single mother of 2, my youngest child was born 3 months premature he will be 1 on April 22nd. The relationship between his father and I has been strained since the mysterious conception of our son. Our son was conceived when his fathers condom accidentally ended up on the floor which is an issue in and of its self.

I went through my pregnancy alone after making several failed attempts to contact him to inform that I could not terminate the pregnancy. He reappeared at the hospital a few days prior to our sons birth I allowed him to give our son his last name and gave his family full access to the nicu so that they could visit at there leisure.

During the time our son was hospitalized over a period of 2 1/2 months we rekindled our relationship. When our son was finally released from the hospital in mid June his father wanted me to drop our son off with his mother the first weekend after his release from the hospital. So that he could see the new Superman movie the answer was no. Following our sons release I discovered that his father had taken to social media to express his general unhappiness with his present journey in life. This was the point when I informed his father to go and get happy absent of me.

From this point forward I have had a variety of unpleasant experiences ranging from his fathers dis-involvement with our son to being the subject of his fathers social media rants.

We stopped communication as it became useless and harmful but during this time his fathers has paid a support for our son without a court order and his family has been active in our sons life. Which I have greatly appreciated and continuously expressed my appreciation. I have provided open access to his father and fathers family from day one our son now stays the night with his fathers family on a regular basis.

The past year has been an emotional roller coaster ride as I have attempted to adjust to becoming a single mother of 2. As I stated earlier our son was 3 months premature unfortunately this past winter has not only been bad climate wise for the country but it has also been bad cold & flu wise as people coupe up inside to avoid the elements.

Due to our son being 3 months premature his compromised immune system has been rigorously tested as during his bouts with sickness I allowed him to still be transported back and forth between family's despite his obvious health issues.

My sons paternal grandmother decided to voice her opinion on why he continued to battle with sickness and that was expressed in this manner.
"The reason why he's always sick is because your always up in his face you need to stay out of his face when my kids were little I didn't let people be all up in their face."

When my son began to develop some form of separation anxiety in mid November an began to cry on a regular basis when in my care I first thought the crying was in relation to teething as he had been a very content mild tempered baby. But my sons grandmother and aunt informed me that the reason that he was crying all the time was.
"He's always crying because its too dark in your house."

Recently my son has been very demanding when he returns from visits with his family wanting to be held he cries when I leave the room and dose not want to be put down this lasts until he is home for a couple of days until he readjust to the care that I provide him with.

His grandmother's take on this was " He's crying because I do not pay him enough attention."

Of the three comments which I listed above I only informed her that the one comment that my showing of affection to to son was leading to his bout with sicknesses was offensive.

This past weekend during his visit with his fathers family I attempted to give his family some space the first date of the visit by not calling the day he left home. The second day which was Sunday I attempted to contact his grandmother at 11am giving her an opportunity to wake up and get herself and the baby situated.

I called both her cell and home phone and did not get an answer so I then called my sons aunt to question if she had spoken to her mother and informed her that I was attempting to contact her in reference to my son. This is when the aunt contacted her bother who is my sons father and then called me back and told me that my son was fine. I stated that I did not feel comfortable with this she then stated that " what you don't feel comfortable with him being left with his dad." My response was no I don't feel comfortable with not being able to contact a person that is with my son."

Per the aunt whom I repeated numerous times the reason why I felt uncomfortable and that I would speak personally to her mother to express my feeling and to come up with a new plan for communication in her absence. The aunt took it upon herself to go ahead of me an pre-brief her mother anyway. This one statement has turned into I am doing everything to keep my son from his father which is an interesting statement since my son spends consecutive days and nights at a time with his father and his fathers family.

I am at the point of removing myself form this situation as I am tired of explaining myself which resulted in the writing of this letter to the grandmother.

To avoid any further unnecessary disagreements concerning my expectations as the active mother of "B" this is what needs to be understood.

When "B" is in the custody of someone other that myself I as "B"s mother needs to be able at any given time to contact the person/persons located at the physical place where "B" is. Regardless of who's custody "B" is in at all times regarding "B"s well-being. If this is not possible "B" will not be permitted to go until the time when this is possible.
(This turned into I am trying to control the grandmother)

Moving forward please understand that as "B"s mother my actions have proven themselves thus far that I am in full support of the establishment of the relationship/Bond of "B" and his father as well as his fathers family.
(This is I am saying one thing and doing another)

Should anyone have any questions concerning me as "B"s mother concerning my thoughts, opinions, or actions please direct those questions toward me to limit any harmful communications in the future prior to accepting that information as factual to limit the power of individuals whom have a vested personal interest in seeing this arrangement fail. For whatever that reason is from this day forward please dis-involve me from any disturbances instigated by anyone other than myself.
(This is to shed light on the aunts assistance in aiding in disrupting our arrangement as I have been told that her mom did not treat her children like she is treating my son)

I would appreciate that my actions thus far would my motives concerning "B" and all parties involved.
(This came from I am sending my son to where his father is so how could I be attempting to keep them apart)

If there are any questions concerning "B"s paternity please take the appropriate steps to gather a definitive answer. I am willing and available to present myself and "B" for DNA testing to confirm his paternity.
(This came from the aunts repeated statement of and my mom knew that my kids were hers not to say that we don't think that "B" is not)

So much has happened from my sons conception to present day there is no way I cover it all please know that I have not been perfect in this situation but I have not cursed, damaged property, or purposely been disrespectful to anyone involved.

But to date I need to know if I am being difficult or unreasonable or acting in a manner that is preventing my son from establishing a bond with his father and his family.

Please Help
Ready to wash my hands of this situation.
Latosha L.

You have been way to kind in allowing the fathers family visitation with their grandchild. As a matter of law they do not have any such rights only the father has these rights.

Your question is long and what you have written, in short will have no standing in law unless approved and ordered by the courts. For your own good and the good of your child you need to contact an attorney who specializes in family law.

Your child's father may be paying child support now. Though without an order of the court he can stop and disappear at any time. As the child’s father he is legally responsible to provide certain support until the child's 18th birthday. This support includes not only monetary support but health insurance and term life insurance to cover his child support through to the child's 18th birthday.

In the order for custody and support you can spell out visitation and the terms of that visitation including when and how long the grandparents can have visitation. The visitation order will include or can include certain terms such as your ability to contact them while the child is in there custody and where they can take him.

Without the legal order of the courts drawn up by a component attorney you have no legal regress and the grandparents are free to do as they please when they have the child. I would go so far to say, depending on the laws of your state, as to claim abandonment when you leave the child with them for any extended period.

The smart thing to do, the right thing to do is to contact a lawyer and have the proper court order gotten to protect you and your child.

[view]


I think the worst thing about college is that you make friends from potentially all over the world so when breaks and summer comes, you can't ever really see each other. My close group of friends has seven people. We don't love too far from each other so we are planning to hang out over the summer when we're all free and one of the things we want to do is go camping. Now, one of my friends lives in Delaware, two live in Maryland, one lives in Jersey and three live in Pennsylvania. We're trying to find the center most point between us that'd be fair for all of us to drive. However, where we find the fair center point, there is no camping areas anywhere near that point. So, if you want to help me out and do some research on camping areas around a center point of those four states, that'd be super. My mom said Delaware would honestly be the most fair because there is quite a bit of campgrounds in that area which would make the Pennsylvanians have to do the most driving which they all agreed would be okay.

Anyway, if you want to help me out here, that'd be much appreciated!

Delaware is a great place to visit and camp especially if you plan on camping near the shore. Fact is all four states have great areas to visit and camp.

To start with send for visitors guides to each state. These guides should contain both places of interest and where to stay including state run Camp grounds. If you call the state visitors center you can ask specifically for information on camping. Also contact Kamp Grounds of America (KOA) for their Camping directory. This is generally given free and contains listing of all there registered campgrounds by state and city. KOA are generally very clean, gated and safe. If your tent camping the fee per night is usually under $25.

Once armed with this information I would suggest, since I have no idea where in each state each of you live. You chose an area to visit based on what you want to do during the day and evening. I'm also sure once you have all this information you should be able to find a mid-point campground as well.

Have fun

[view]


School, piles upon piles of homework, practice my instrument, practice for play, try on shoes to see if they fit, make my bed, clean my room, brush my teeth. Once it seems like I'm FINALLY free, for some me time,I gotta write some discussion questions for book club that my teacher FORCED everybody to do. Then comes stupid extra math that my teacher claims I gotta do because she has to “enrich my advanced mind" I'm not a genius, but apparently I have superior intelligence. I somehow end up with the “good parts" in stuff like plays. Most people think I'm lucky, but it seems like with all my work I can never just sit down. Being more than average isn't all what it's cracked up to be, you just gotta do extra work, and when you're good at stuff like music and theatre, you get good parts. But when you get good parts and things like that, you have to work and practice and push yourself. I love acting, and dancing, and singing, and art and music, and even reading, science, social studies, but I just wish I could lay down and not think about anything sometime. And I hate math, but because I'm starting to be good at it,I have to do more than required. There is no way out of it for me because if I quit, you know,I don't like to quit. I wanna live up to everyone's expectations, but sometimes I feel like everyone's expectations are too much. A perfect,pretty,talented,smart,amazing,remarkable… where does it end?

You have asked a very good question. One that takes the wisdom of age that a grandparent may have. Since I am of that age I will try to help.

As I read your question I asked myself one question. "Who are you doing all this for?" Your next to last sentence answered my question. "I feel like everyone's expectations are too much."

As parents we sometimes ask and expect a lot of our children for various reasons. Some of those are for the right reasons and some are not. The reasons that are not right are for self-serving reasons such as bragging rights so we can sit in church or the country club and brag about how smart or talented or child(ren) are. This is wrong if we are pushing you to do things they really don't want to do though they are done to please our parents.

Of all the things you listed academic school work falls into a category of things you must do. The other things you do such as acting and playing an instrument are electives. Of those other things that take up your time how many of them are actually things you want to do? Loving something and wanting something are two different things.

Let�s just say you want them all. Fact is as much as we may want everything that is not always possible as you are finding out. Let�s try something. Sit down and make a list of all those things you do that are not school work, hygiene or house work as those are must do things.

Once you have your list of those things you like to do and want to do. Number then in the order of importance to you 1, 2, 3 and so forth. Now sit down and make up a daily schedule for yourself. You can probably find one in a calendar program on the computer. Block out the time from the time you get up in the morning to the time you return home from school plus the time for must do things at home.

Your available time for these extra-curricular activities is the time remaining until you go to bed at night. Make sure to block out time on Saturday and Sunday for must do things as well which would also include must do family things such as Church. Don't forget to block out time for homework.

With the time left fill in the open hours with those things you like to do giving yourself time to do them and enjoy them, including free time. What you�re doing here is called time management. By managing your time properly you can see what time you have available to those things that must be done and those things you enjoy doing.

Learning how to manage time rather than have time manage you is an invaluable tool to have. You will have learned a very important skill. One that will work well for you in every aspect of your life as you get older. Time management is the hardest part of our life to learn. Once learned it pay many dividends in life.

Making the list as I am suggesting and then numbering those activities in order of importance to you. Then learning to manage time so that you have the time to enjoy what is important to you. You will not only please yourself but those who have high expectations of you as well.

[view]


hi dear
im a male 27 years and my friend he was divorced for his 1st marriage then he married a woman who is 5 years elder to him she is 32 with a baby boy from her 1st marriage and she is having crush on me once was invited for a dinner at her place she told me she is not sexually satisfied with my friend and she moved his hand directly to my cock under the table and said wow what a long thing you have between your legs and now she wants me to have sex with her and i also liked her when she grabbed my cock in her soft hands but Im very much confused what should i do is it ok to have sex with a lady who is 5 years elder to me ? plz help me out thank you.

Let me ask you this question. What if it was your wife and she was asking your friend to have sex with her. Would it be right for him to have sex with her? I'm sure you would say no, so why are you asking us for permission to have sex with your friends’ wife? Regardless of the age difference, you could be older than her or even the same age it is not right for you to have sex with a married women; a friend’s wife or any other married women.

In answer to your question on age and sex. As long as both parties are above the age of consent and both parties are consenting to having sex with each other. Age is not a factor; older younger or same age the operative word is consensual. This still does not give you the right to have sex with your married friends’ wife.

If she is not satisfied with the sex with her husband then she needs to communicate her needs to her husband. Sex is a learned experience and for two people to have a happy and healthy sex life they need to communicate their needs to their partner and teach them how to satisfy them. This is what you should be telling your friends wife, not thinking about how you can rationalize getting in her pants.

[view]


I'm sleeping with a married man, he has invited me to his son's graduation party at his home. Why would he do this? I have never been to his home, I have never met his wife. Although we have talked about his wife and his family, I always thought he wanted to keep me separate from his home life. I have no desire to ruin his life or out him. My place, for him, is a distraction, an ego booster, and a shiny new toy until he tires of me.

I agree with Razhie. The only thing that makes sense to me is that his wife accepts his having a mistress for whatever reasons. Why she would allow that person into her home is a mystery to me. Most women who accept or give their husbands permission to cheat want nothing to do or to know as little about the mistress as possible. It makes no sense for the wife to invite or allow her husband to invite the mistress to what is a family event.

It is understandable you would be uncomfortable at such an event. I agree with Razhie that you not attend.

[view]


Hi, I feel as though I am in a rutt. I have gained 25 lbs over the year, stopped walking, took a new job being more sedentry. Im always hungry and always eating. I eat big meals. I am so unhappy in my relationship with this man who is a drinker and doesn't want to better himself. Iused to be so active in the past. Gym every mornig at 530 am. Active durring the day. I dont know where to start. I want to suppress my appetite and dont know what to take to help this? Does anyone have any ideas?

You start by getting out of the unhappy relationship. This is what is causing you to be somewhat depressed and you compensate by overeating. You're using food for comfort, which is not good. You've gained weight which is making you lazy without any extra problems such as being depressed.

These are some of the classic sign of clinical depression. Now do you need therapy to overcome this depressive episode you may be suffering? Considering you have been this way for over a year you may need the help of a clinical psychologist. Then again you may be able to pull out of this by yourself.

IF the unhappy relationship is the primary cause of how you feel then ending that relationship should help you feel better. Once you get over the shock of ending the relationship, have yourself a quick pity party. Force yourself to get back in your old routine and to diet to lose those 255 pounds. Get up and go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning. Get back into the activities you use to be in.

You should also see your doctor. Why? First: It is important to have a complete physical before starting to exercise and diet. Second: Ask the doctor to screen you for depression while you are there. This will allow the doctor to judge if you are depressed and just how deeply depressed you may be. Based on that judgment the doctor may make a suggestion on therapy. Third: To rule out and physical reason for your weight gain and the way you feel.

I know ending your relationship is probably the last thing you want to hear. Put yourself in my shoes for a minute and ask yourself this question. Why would anyone want to stay in an unhappy relationship? If you were in a marriage that was unhappy I would not suggest the first thing you do is leave the marriage. But you are not married so why stay?

[view]


23 f living with my 25 year old boyfriend and his family. I am living there because of a crazy home situation that I couldn't stay in. I like his parents a lot but I don't like living with them.
When I first was dating Tim, it was obvious that he had been spoiled or sheltered. Not money wise, just that his mom would do everything for him. He didn't know how to clean, cook even basic things, do dishes, do laundry, etc. I noticed that whenever he would try to do something, his mom would say he was doing it wrong and take over, rather than showing him how- she doesn't have much patience. Over the last year, I have taught him all that stuff and he's gotten really good at it. However, she still makes derogatory comments when she sees him doing something like cooking. "oh god, what are you doing now", "what mess are you making", etc.
She is 'linked' to his bank account, which basically means she can go online and see what he spends using his debit card and credit card. We each have our own checking accounts and share his credit card, which we almost never use. We take turns paying for things and manage our money pretty well. However, she still criticizes him about we spend money on and how much we spend.
Recently we opened another credit card at a clothing store because it offers a large discount on their clothing. We don't plan on using it too much. His mom opened the bill and yelled at him for spending the money. I have more than enough to pay for what we bought, as well as several hundred extra. He has less than fifty bucks in his checking account, but that's not a problem, I've been giving him money for gas and food to hold him over and he gets paid tomorrow.
He is very close to his parents and understands his mom is wrong but doesn't want to do anything about it. She is hurting our path towards independence and making him feel bad about himself. How can I change this frustrating situation?

If the two of you are ever going to make a life together than the apron strings are going to have to be cut that tie him to his mother. You also have to be aware that you will also be the one coming between him and is mother at the very least from her point of view. This will be hardest on you especially the longer you love in her home.

You have made a good start by teaching him those things you have taught him. You know have at least two more things to do with him to put a big tear in those apron strings.

The first is to take his mom of his checking account and credit cards. As long as he is the primary account holder this should not be a problem. If by chance she is the primary account holder then open new accounts and have deposits such as payroll sent to the new account. I would also get a mail box at the post office or one of the package stores so his mother cannot open his mail and see his finances or other information.

His mom won't like this and she may rant and rave over what has been done. Fact is at 25 he is legally an adult and she has no legal control over how he runs his life or his finances. If she has been taking rent as she needs it, for example out of his account. Then you switch to writing her a check each month for the rent you pay. There is no legal reason for his mom to have access to his funds.

What he needs to do after doing what I have suggested is stand up to his mother. He starts by telling her he loves her and thanks her for everything she has done for him. It is now time he stands on his own two feet and be responsible for himself. That means that if he is cooking a meal for himself or for the two of you. He will cook it and be responsible for the mess and clean it up. That you and he will be responsible for your own laundry as well. It may not be like she does it but it will be clean.

Last but not least he needs to be responsible or at least start learning to be responsible for his own finances. To this end he has opened new bank accounts or removed her name from those accounts they shared. He also needs to tell her that you and he have a right to privacy and to that end you and he have opened a PO Box for your mail.

You need to be supportive of him and help him be strong in facing his mom. Her controlling him has been a lifelong event. If is going to be hard for him to break away. For his moms part she will use every trick in the book to keep him attached to her apron strings. This is where he will need your support.

You need to do this now for if you don't and you two plan to have a life together his mom will attempt to control your family life. I know for my mom was this way. I'm lucky my wife is as strong a woman as she is and helped me explain to my mom that she needed to step back and be a mother in-law and grandmother. The second position in our family not the top spot.

I won't say it was easy, mom fought hard and dirty. We persevered and she eventually saw the light. His mom will too if you two stand together.

[view]


my friends wife wants to have sex with me because she is not sexually satisfied with her husband what should i do please help me.

Do not have sex with her. Instead suggest she talk with her husband about what her sexual needs are. The biggest problem in a marriage is a lack of communication, especially concerning our sexual needs.

Sex between a man and wife is a learned experience if it is to be a successful experience. The only way to know if one is pleasing the other is to communicate. She should be teaching him how she likes to be touched; where she likes to be touched. She may be more clitoral than vaginal. How is he to know this if she does not tell him? Maybe she stills likes a little seduction in her sex life instead of; "hey babe lets mess up the sheets" or words to that effect. This is not going to happen unless she communicates it to him. The same goes for him, he needs to tell her what he likes and does not like. Most importantly what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Meaning nothing in the way of a sex act between them is off limits or weird as long as they both consent to it; if either one says no then it is no.

Maybe the missionary position with her on the bottom does not do it for her any more. She needs to speak up. I'm sure they both have some fantasy or two. If they talk about them they may just be able to try acting them out. Whatever turns them on is fine in the privacy of their bedroom provided it is mutually consensual.

Instead of agreeing to have sex with her tell her what I have written. Communicating will save her marriage where having sex with you might end her marriage. As a last resort they could consult a sex therapist. There would be no shame if they felt they needed to. As I said sex is a learned experience and there is no shame asking for help.

[view]


I'm 16, turning 17 in a few days. I have a 1yr old. and I believe I'm addicted to sex. I started when I was 15. I didn't start having actually sex til after my daughter. I have had sex with around 15 guys. I have never had sex with more then one guy at a time but some say they ran a "train" on me. which never happened. I have had sex with a set of brothers but at SEPARATE times, I REGRET IT ! I have had one night stands and regret that also! alot of the dudes I've had sex with were my regrets!! Sex makes me happy, but not all the time. Am I a whore for this??

Having a lot of sex does not make you a whore. By your self-description you may very well be someone addicted to sex. This is an addiction that is curable.

Being addicted to sex is not good. It forces you to make bed choices in life. While I'm sure, if you kept your baby, you love the child. Being a mom at 15 is hard for you and will only get harder.

One way to cure your addiction to sex is similar to how alcoholics are cured by going to alcoholics anonymous. Here is a link to their website http://sa.org/. The other way is seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist possibly both for individual therapy.

What is most important is you most want help or neither SA or therapy will not work for you. You say sex makes you happy. I do not believe that is totally true or you would not have written to us. I believe you are ready for help just maybe not convinced in total or not sure where to turn to for help and afraid maybe to come right out and ask.


[view]


I'm 16 , I hate young dudes . what would be my age limit to date an older dude ?

It all depends on the age of consent in the state or country you live in. In general terms though it is generally illegal for a guy or a woman to date someone 3 to 4 years younger than them.

[view]


Ever heard of Emmanuel, James? I have. He makes his books really expensive, like, $200 claiming only the “rich and privileged" could read his book. What kind of conceited, selfish,disgusting pig creates (this is based on reviews) an overpriced 10 paged book that only talks about how you wasted your money but you're rich and don't care and now can brag. Apparently, this dude thinks the rich are above all other people and they should be treated better. Can someone please tell me a way I can contact this @$$hole and tell him off?

You could try sending a letter to him via his publisher.

[view]


There's this boy in my school who is 16. We are close friends and he says I'm like his little sister. Yesterday I split up with my boyfriend and he started talking to me he said he was fat and I said prove it (we always say it joking around) so he sent me a picture of him with no top on and in his boxers and he told me to prove I'm not fat so he convinced me to send him a picture of my belly. Then he said he's sad because my picture wasn't like his and I said I can't take my top off to take a pic of my belly and he put you can. I said no and he was trying to convince me for half an hour before he finally said okay and I don't know what to do? Wether to tell someone? But the hardest part is he has told me he likes me and.. I might like him to ?.. I don't know wether to carry on talking to him or notv someone tell me what I should do? Much appreciated

DO NOT SEND ANY PICTURES OF THE TYPE HE IS ASKING FOR. There are several reasons for not sending these pictures to him.

1) First and foremost it is illegal. Sending any type of naked or topless photos of someone your age over the internet is considered to be the distribution of child pornography.

2) His having this or these photos is considered possession of child pornography.

3) Given the age difference between you he could be charged with other crimes as well such as contributing to the delinquency of a minor; being a sexual predator and other crimes.

4) Probably most important of all is once you send the picture to someone you lose control of it. He is free to send it out into cyberspace for all the world to see.

Best rule to follow with pictures sent over the Internet: Never send a photo of yourself over the Internet that you would not show your father.

The Social media operators along with the Internet providers are cooperating strongly with the FBI, State and Local police forces to identify those people sending this material across the internet. The chances of being caught are high, even if it is just the one picture.

My advice is to tell you dad what this boy is asking of you and let him take it from there. I would also advise that this boy is too old for you and its taking advantage of your youthful age. Stop talking to him or seeing him.

[view]


How can I make a fake penis that is small but will feel amazing when inserted in my vigina, I am 14 years old Girl and I need to let lose of some sexual steam out because I need something that will help me for my sexual disire!!!

How to make a safe fake penis

My advice is stick with your fingers for now as your body is not quite ready to accept having something shoved into it. One of the reasons as parents we tell you not to have sex to early is that while you may look like a woman; physically you have a ways to go.

At 14 your vagina is still developing. Yes if you shove something in there you could make it fit. It will be painful because the muscles of your vagina are still frozen. Puberty has not yet sent them the signals to relax and stretch properly. Remember what comes out of your vagina, what your vagina was truly built for.

Forcing a penis, fake or real, into your vagina before it is ready could damage the muscles making child birth more painful than it should be. Sex should not be painful even at first attempt with the exception of tearing you Hyman. If the muscles have been damaged in any way sex can be painful for the rest of your life.

Of course the fact you could get pregnant is the main reason parents warn against having sex to early. It is the combination of the two that we are protecting you from although most parents won't talk about the second. So stick with your fingers rubbing your clitoris and putting one or two fingers inside your vagina.

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker