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Why would the married man I'm seeing invite me to a family event?
I'm sleeping with a married man, he has invited me to his son's graduation party at his home. Why would he do this? I have never been to his home, I have never met his wife. Although we have talked about his wife and his family, I always thought he wanted to keep me separate from his home life. I have no desire to ruin his life or out him. My place, for him, is a distraction, an ego booster, and a shiny new toy until he tires of me.
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I think your last sentence really shines the light on the truth.
I have been there. I was the wife who had to fight to keep my marriage intact, all the while knowing about and even talking to my husbands mistress.
I admire your sentiment that you have no desire to ruin his life or out him. I know you didnt go into this situation with bad intentions, but without meaning to, you and this man have already ruined lives. Yours, his, and his familys. Hurt feelings abound in this situation on all sides.
The fact that he invited you to his sons graduation party shows me:
1) His ego is extremely huge. The fact that his wife, family and now his lover will all be there playing his game, makes him feel like "the big man!"
2) He has absolutely no respect for you, or his wife. You are only objects for him to manipulate and control for his own satisfaction. And God forbid, may either one of you have any hurt feelings or question his behavior! That would be unacceptable! Just be quiet, play your role and be a good girl.
3) This man has no morals. Adultery is one of the ten commandments, and he thinks he can get away with it, and drag you down with him? Good luck, because God sees everything.
I suggest you dont go to the graduation party. Keep your dignity. Going would only reinforce that you are his toy that he can have fun with.....and throw away when he gets tired of playing.
I am sorry for being harsh. I know that sleeping with a married man is exciting, and must have some benefit for both parties involved.
Just remember that you are a much better person than what this man thinks you are, and deserve better treatment. No woman is a toy, or a second choice.
If you feel like continuing the relationship with him, please do so discreetly. There is nothing more humiliating than a man parading his wife and mistress in front of his son.
My husband did the same not long ago. He moved in an apartment with his mistress, and took our daughter with him for a few days. This was devastating for our daughter. She has since disappeared for a week, we finally found her living with a boyfriend. She has dropped out of school, and has gone into a deep depression.
When we seem to enjoy ourselves with a fun, extramarital relation, we tend to not see how it affects others. Until it may be too late.
But the most important question is: How does this relationship affect YOU?
I hope that you find answers. This relationship doesnt have any respect or health in it.
I say, stay home, and give yourself some tender, loving care! Have a great time pampering yourself and remembering how special you are.
This mans behavior is simply disgusting. Take the high road, and dont put yourself down on his level.
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I agree with Razhie. The only thing that makes sense to me is that his wife accepts his having a mistress for whatever reasons. Why she would allow that person into her home is a mystery to me. Most women who accept or give their husbands permission to cheat want nothing to do or to know as little about the mistress as possible. It makes no sense for the wife to invite or allow her husband to invite the mistress to what is a family event.
It is understandable you would be uncomfortable at such an event. I agree with Razhie that you not attend.
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You'll need to ask him. We can't know what is going through his head. Except that he's an idiot if he actually invited his secret mistress to a family event. I mean really, that is just completely moronic.
Don't go if you aren't comfortable going. I wouldn't be comfortable with it. I'd seriously question a man's sanity for even suggesting it, but if you really want to know WHY he made such a stupid suggestion, you'll need to ask him.
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