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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i need to lose weight in a month i need excersises that i can home and how many am i suppose to do i need to lose 20 pounds!!!!

I cannot give you any type of quick loss weight program that will help you lose that much Wight in a month. Doing so is not only quite harmful you can expect to gain all or most of it back quickly.

The best way to diet is on an approved diet and exercise program that starts with a visit to your doctor for a complete physical. I know this is not what you want to hear but any other way is generally the loss of water weight and you can become dehydrated and mess up the electrolytes that keep your body working properly.

What is possible if you start within the next few days is to lose between 5 to 10 pounds through proper diet and exercise. You haven\'t given your age so I will give you two choices as to how to get a proper exercise program.

If you are still in school talk with one of the physical education instructors about how to properly exercise at home. If you are in school it may be possible to use a study period if you have one to exercise in the weight room or gym at school. This would include college as well just go to the physical education department.

If you are out of school then I suggest you find a local fitness center that you can go to on a pay as you go admission. Talk to their fitness instructor about an exercise routine.

You can also ask your doctor about exercising using Jazzercise at home or something like that. The most important thing though is if you are going from a sedimentary life style to an exercise program you so under a doctor’s supervision.

Hi, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 20. He loves soccer. He's birthday is coming up and I don't know what I should get him

First: Any gift you give has to be affordable; you should not go into debt for someone you are just getting to know.

Second: Anything you purchase should be something we either would like, wants or desires if it is affordable to you. It should also be something meaningful to your relationship showing how much you care for him.

Third: Third there is an old saying; \"that it is the thought that counts and not the value of the gift that counts.\" I once dated a girls who did not have a lot of money. She lived from paycheck to paycheck as most of us di back then.

On my birthday she made me dinner, it was a heart shaped meat loaf and baked a cake for me. That was in August 44 years ago. I don\'t remember what or how the meal tasted but the following July she and I married and will be married for 43 years come this July.

I have had other girlfriends by me things, watches, ID bracelets and other things. They were things and really had meant nothing as far as their interest. This dinner meant a whole lot more to me. I don\'t think the meal itself was that fantastic, it was the effort that I appreciated. My wife has since become a much better cook, we both have.

So while I cannot make a suggestion as to what to get his for his birthday. What I will suggest is whatever you do or get for him; make your gift from your heart and not your pocket book.

I'm friendzoned by a friend. We are really close to each other and one time when her boyfriend left her I was by her side when she was really hurt and sad. And now she said that she is now looking for another love. And I volunteered but of course I made it a joke cuz I'm afraid I might be rejected. But then she said I must nit volunteer because she doesn't want to lose me cuz she treasures me as her brother. Wtf? I really like her and loved her but she just think me as her brother. Please help

I\'m sorry she sees you in this way though there is little you can do about it. My son is in the same situation with a friend of his. He sees her as someone he would like to have a romantic interest in. She sees him as someone she is afraid a romantic interest could cause her to lose him as a friend. Fact is they are perfect for each other.

They both want someone who can be independent of the other. They are both emergency responders. She is a Police Officer and he is a Paramedic/Firefighter. This is why they want an independent person as a spouse. In all other ways they are perfect for each other.

Most great relationships and marriages start out as great friendships. My advice to you is the same I have given my son. Don\'t give up on her. Continue the friendship. It is very possible that the friendship will turn romantic all on its own you just cannot force it. If it happens and the chances of it happening are in your favor it will happen slowly and almost without notice.

One day you will be best friends and the next day you will be lovers. How you handle the transition from friends to lovers when it happens will decide if the relationship continues to be a loving relationship.

While you’re waiting continue to date others for even though the odds are in your favor you should hedge your bet by looking for someone else. This may also be the catalyst needed to move this relationship forward.

Good luck.

I have a lot of less used clothes and I don't know how to get rid of them. I told my mom about this and my option is to have a garage sale but I'm afraid no one will buy. Any options?

Used clothing does not have mush value unless they are designer labeled. Even then they only bring a fraction of what they were originally worth. The cost of having a garage sale plus the time and effort to tag everything may not even cover you costs to put on the sale.

My suggestion is to donate the clothing to your church or temple, the Salvation Army or other similar organization. Make a list of each type of item you donate. So many dresses, blouses, sweaters’ so on an so forth.

At tax time either you or your parents, depending on who is the taxpayer in your family, use this list to value the clothing against the value the IRS allows for each item of clothing donated and take the deduction. It is easy to do, you or your parents get a needed tax deduction and some people who really need the clothing get some good, slightly used much needed clothing. To me this is a win/win situation and you don\'t spend a day haggling with strangers over the value of some of your prized possessions.

I am a female aged 21 and have recently started going out with a guy who regularly calls me a slut, whore, worthless and tells me how he doesn't trust me around any males but yet he tells me he has never loved anyone the way he loves me and he wants to marry me.

Long story short I went out with a guy for 2 years and he broke it off with me as he had been seeing another girl. A month later I had sex with one of my older friends (he knew my ex). A month after that I got back with my boyfriend.

We lasted for a year until I ended it with him for reasons of no trust etc due to what he had done before. About a month later I had sex with the same friend again.

I told my current boyfriend about my past history and he finds it very hard to deal with. He constantly tells me how he can't trust me around anyone. He asks me to send him photos of where I am every half an hour so he knows I'm not lying about my whereabouts.

He sends me messages such as (sorry for the vulgarity in some of these messages):
I bet you looked at his nice hard c*ck and loved it
You f*cked a guy who knew your ex
You wanted him to f*ck you
I find it funny that you aspire to be a mother one day
You really are a dirty sl*t
You used to deserve to get treated better but now you don't
You ruined yourself by f*cking him
Stop saying you're not a sl*t and face up to what you are
You f*cked up and you have to face the consequences
You are a disgraceful human
You are a f*cking whore
You just wanted his c*ck inside you

Do I deserve to get messages like this? I have only had sex or done any sexual activities with my ex, my friend and now my current boyfriend so I always thought I was a very good person.

He also has issues with the amount of guys that I have kissed which is 12. He hates that I have kissed three guys that I met on nights out (separate nights). One I dated for a while but the other two I never spoke to again.

I don't know whether I just hung around with people with no morals but I thought up until now that I was well behaved.

Do I deserve to get treated like this?

Short answer to your question is NO! No one deserves the abuse this guy is giving you. I honestly do not understand why you are even seeing this guy let alone having any type of relationship with him, sexual or otherwise.\"

Kissing 12 guys in your entire life is practically living a cloistered life in High School. I would need another set of hands and feet to count the number of girls I kissed in High School or while in my teen years.

I\'ll be frank here; what I see in your writing is someone with a low self-esteem to be putting up with this kind of abuse and BS. There is absolutely no way a person should treat another person as he is treating you. There is no way he can really love you and treat you this way. HE is using you for sex and whatever else he can get from you.

You need to get away from him. You are far too intelligent; I can tell this from your writing, to put up with this abuse. There are better men out there who will treat you far better and give you the respect as a woman you deserve.

If as I suspect you have lost your self-esteem, which would be expected going out with someone like this. Then I suggest you see a psychologist for help in regaining what you lost. A psychologist is someone you can talk to in total confidence who can see things you may not and guide you back to where you need to be. IF your employer has an EAP program the EAP program will help you locate a psychologist and may even pay for a select number of visits in full.

So I've had three sexual partners within my life time so far and not a single one has been able to make me climax yet and it's seriously frustrating! Yes I've tried having him rub and finger me, and even eat me out for a decent amount of time before having sex but nothing has worked :( it's not like I don't feel good because I most definitely do but I've never been able to get close to a climax. Are there any women who have had this issue? I've had orgasms before with a vibrator directly on my clit but that is the only thing that has made a difference. Could I have desensitized myself to sex? I can't keep having sex and not get anywhere it makes it hard for me to enjoy sex anymore. Please anyone who can help or give me tips, it's more then welcomed!?
Also any position suggestions for a women who doesn't like being on top but is tired of missionary...?

Thanks ahead of time :)

I\'ll leave out the lecture on being too young to be having sex but that is also part of the problem. I will explain.

First you have answered your own question as to why you don\'t orgasm during coitus. You say it when you said, “I’ve had orgasms before with a vibrator directly on my clit but that is the only thing that has made a difference.\"

Women climax usually in one of two ways. Either through vaginal stimulation through intercourse or clitoral stimulation, which with the right positions can be had during intercourse? For a woman who is more clitorally stimulated she will not climax unless she can have her clitoris stimulate during sex.

Now here is where the fact that you and most likely your partners young ages come in. While I may be old enough to be your grandfather when it comes to having sex as a teenager I doubt it has changed much. Finding a place where you won\'t be discovered or a time when you can relax and take your time or even a comfortable place to have sex is hard. It is usually stolen moments where the boy gets all the satisfaction and the girl is left hanging as you are writing.

For the women who are vaginally stimulated slowing the boy down or trying to get him to last longer helps? You need to find positions where both you and he while having sex can also stimulate your clitoris. Look on the web for these positions.

Now I would not be a responsible adult if I didn\'t remind you to make sure he uses as condom. No excuses here. If he says he is allergic to latex there are non-latex condoms available. Beside the pregnancy protection condoms provide they protect you from many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. It is for your own health protection that he uses a condom. No condom no loving.

You should also be on birth control medication. A Federal Law called HIPP says you are old enough to ask any doctor for birth control. You can go to any women’s clinic and ask for birth control and it will be supplied at little or no charge to you. You do not need parental permission.

Okay so im 14/f and since i was 11 ive identified as a lesbian (that was when i figured it out) but now im starting to question myself. I know im definitely not straight, 0% chance, and i highly doubt bisexual, i dont know it just doesnt quite feel right, neither does pansexual but it does sound closer to what im looking for. Im romantically and sexually attracted to girls, but sometimes i meet a boy, (and when i say sometimes i mean this has happened twice in the past 3 years) and im just like, "You. You are sweet and really cute and i want to be really close with you and hug you but i cant necessarily see myself with you or anything" but its just confusing me bc it *feels* pretty freaking similar to a crush but im just not attracted to boys?? I dont think I am?? I feel like I might be maybe homosexual and panromantic? does that sound right or am i just confused with all the labels? Thank you in advance to anyone who helps

As I understand things if you truly are a lesbian you would have had or have known this or had signals of this long before you were 11. What I believe happened at age 11 is puberty started and you have become confused by all the labels as to which one you are.

When it comes to being a Gay or Lesbian this is the way you are born, it is not something you wake up one morning and decide you are. Being bisexual is something that may be more of an acquired sexual prefference. The same is true of being pansexual and panromantic as it is believed these are more of preference and lifestyle practice then an inherent trait in DNA.

What I would advise for right now and the next few years is not to try and stick a label on your sexuality for now or the next few years as you go through puberty. Labels mean absolutely nothing and at your age can cause you to be shunned, bullied or worse.

There is nothing wrong with being Gay or Lesbian. This is your life you live it as you are most comfortable. The problem is, especially at your age, is others are not very tolerant of difference. Meaning if you are a Lesbian, Pansexual or Panromantic you unfortunately need to keep this to yourself for your own safety while in High School. It is unfortunate that you cannot even tell your best friend, but that is the way things are today and it is so wrong you don\'t even want me getting on my soap box about it. I will just say as a society we need to learn to be more tolerant then others.

There is nothing unusual for someone your age to be more comfortable with their own sex. It is my belief that as you become more comfortable with the new hormones and the changes in your body; you will have less confusion with your sexual identity. Until then worry less about your sexual identity and just enjoy who you are today.

What should I get her for Mother's Day?

Once again you have asked an almost impossible question to answer. I would have to know you, your mother and what you are financially capable of purchasing to answer that question.

Now I said your question was ALMOST impossible to answer. There are things you can do for mom to show your love for her on Mother’s Day that cost you nothing but time and effort. Such as doing things for her you would not normally do to give her time to relax. Such things as:

1. Getting up and cooking breakfast for everyone.

2. Doing the family laundry.

3. Cleaning the house for her.

4. Cook a nice dinner. This also helps dad as he doesn\'t have to take you all out to dinner.

If your mom is like my mom was she will appreciate you doing something special for her far more than something materiel that will be gone in hours, days or months.

So, this weekend just gone I had sex with a guy. Him and his girlfriend were split up at the time and he said they weren't getting back together so I didn't see much of a problem. But the next day he said they sorted things out but he didn't tell her about me and him.

I'm really not comfortable about this as I'm friends with alot of her friends so I'm gunna see her about alot and I hate keeping secrets and lying.
I've tried persuading him, but said I won't say a word until he says something to her 'cause she should really hear it from him not me or someone else. But this also means I can't talk to any of my friends about it, which sucks.
He won't tell her though as she has alot of family problems at the moment and doesn't think she'd be able to handle it and isn't sure what she'd do (guessing he means self harm etc).

Some sort of help would be great as I'm really not keen on this situation and can't chat to anyone! Thank you!

The problem here is just what is the truth between him and her. Did they really break up or did they just have a fight. Either way who called who to make up is also important to know.

If they were truly broken up at the time and she called him to get back together then no harm no foul. To me it would depend on how long they were broken up before he asked you out.

Do you normally go out with a guy and have sex on the first date or was this a compassionate thing you did for him. If you two had dated a few times she may have gotten wind of his dating you and it is just coincidence she called him the day after you two had sex.

I\'m fairly certain that regardless of circumstances she is aware of you two seeing each other and may assume you two had sex. To throw it in her face would be wrong if she has other problems for if she wanted to know and she knows you I believe she would ask you or ask a mutual friend.

As far as being able to talk about having sex with him, I\'m of the mind set you don\'t kiss and tell. Your sex life is your business and no one else\'s. It can get real complicate years down the road when you and your friends start to marry. Do you really want your best friend to know you may have slept with her future husband or she slept with your future husband? It may be fun now to talk about it but it will ruin a great friendship later in life.

18 female.
I was diagnosed with warts in November and all of it went about two weeks ago.
Thinking it was all gone I had sex on a night out and not until the next day I noticed a small one just on the inside of my vagina (sorry for the specifics).
Will the guy still get it as it's a really small wart? And will I get more?

It's a horrid matter I know, help would be much appreciated.

Short answer is yes and maybe it depends on if you have Herpes or warts, there is a difference.

Genital Warts and Herpes Differences

To help you avoid confusing these two common and widespread STDS, here are some of the main differences between genital warts and herpes that you should be aware of:

•- Both STDS are caused by distinct/different viruses

•- Genital warts are caused by the human papilloma virus (HPV)

•- Genital herpes is caused by the herpes virus

•- Genital warts continue to grow until they are removed

•- Many herpes sores turn into blisters which eventually dry up and go away on their own.

If the boy you had sex with has been inoculated against the HPV virus then he may be immune to the type of virus you have. Still since both the HVP and Herpes virus are STDS regardless of which one you have it is on you to advice any potential sex partner before sexual relations; this would include fingering and oral sex as well. If he chooses to have sex with then he must wear a condom for his own protection.

11 years old my son is suffering from high copper level in his body present please provide the solution

We are not medical doctors and cannot and do not give medical advice. I did do some research on this subject and found there are a number of different ways a person can get High Levels of Copper in their system.

My advice is if you son has been diagnosed by a doctor that you follow that doctors’ advice as to how to lower these levels. IF he has not been diagnosed by a doctor or you for some reason are not trusting of your doctors’ advice. I would suggest you take him to see a Hematologist. A Hematologist is a doctor who specializes in disorders of the blood. This doctor may be more qualified to treat your son than a family practice doctor.

A visit to a hematologist should be covered under any insurance you might have under the second opinion clause most all insurance policies have. What is most important, from what I have read, is that you get your son treatment for this problem. For left untreated if the toxicity levels get to high they can be fatal.

My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties. We have been together for about a year and a half and I've never had a reason to feel like I can't trust him. Yesterday evening, he went to bed and left his phone laying out on the counter. Now, looking into each other's phones is something we promised we'd never do. Neither of us get jealous easily and we've always gotten along SO well because we're both laid back.

Well, what I found hurt me a lot. There were two different girls that he had been texting from time to time over the course of the past few months. With one girl, he would text her randomly and tell her that she looked beautiful in her new Facebook photo, and then a few weeks later he would say that he wished he could come see her. The other girl, he'd call her sweet names and he said he'd be off work for a few days and thought that they should meet up. From what I could tell, he never met up with either of them. But seeing him flirt and sweet talk other girls hurts so bad and I don't accept that. Plus, if he's willing to say those things, what else has he done that I wouldn't find in his phone?

I don't know what to do. I don't put up with cheating but if it IS just words in a message, it is different from physical cheating but still is a betrayal of my trust. What I don't understand is that our whole relationship has felt like it's in that "honeymoon" stage. I've never felt like he's been unhappy at any point. We constantly have so much fun together and have rarely had even the smallest of arguments. He brags about me to all of his friends, his family loves me, we've made plans for our future... and then I discover he texts random girls every once in a while. They're never ongoing conversations but still very inappropriate.

I left him while he was sleeping and went back to my own house. Since then we've briefly discussed the situation but I really don't want to talk to him because there's nothing he can say to justify what he's done. He keeps apologizing and saying how bad he feels, and that he'd never actually cheat on me, the texts are just an ego boost for him and he only sends them when he's drunk, that's why he quits replying. It makes sense, but at the same time, I will not tolerate cheating and I'm just hurt so bad that I feel like I will always have doubts in the back of my mind.. but beside this situation, we are SOOOO good together and I don't want to throw that away.

I will tell you what my wife told me the day we married. \"I could look at the menu all I wanted but if I ever reordered she would cut a very important appendage of mine off.\" That will be 43 years ago come this July. What she meant was it is okay to look and considering I worked for an airline as a gate agent at the time I could even flirt with the flight attendants just as long as the only bed I slept in was hers.

I understand how you feel and I could explain why he may flit when he is drunk though it won\'t change your feelings. You have a right to be hurt what I\'m not sure of is if his actions justify throwing the baby out with the bath water, ending your relationship with him. What he has done is not the definition of cheating not by the dictionary definition of the word.

Now the dictionary and you are two different things. I only use the dictionary to ask the following question. If by your definition of cheating is what he has done so egregious in your mind that you will never be able to trust him again?

That is the question you have to ask yourself. If you can truthfully say to yourself that he can earn your trust and respect again then sit down with him and work out how to do that. If this misstep on his part, which could be looked at as something all men go through before they make that big commitment, is something you will always hold against him. Then it may be best you go your separate ways.

Hi. I am from India. 22/f. I have a major problem with my boyfriend.though we love each other but our mentality and point of view have hell and heaven defferences. He is very orthodox.and high religious value.but i am not. He has a issue with women.he cannot fully trust any woman except his mother.he also think that those woman who go for work outside from home,she can't run a family and take care her children.he always protest the idea of woman independence,woman empowerment.he thought his wife must stay at home and lookafter his home!i am a educated girl.and wants to be a government servant.though he not force me to do anything,but when we talk about this,he told me about his views.he thought that every woman is fake,liar.i can't understand what to do.he is 35years old.matured enough.also he has a issue with my past. Because i am not a virgin so he always tell me bad words.but i love him.not my ex. I was immature those days.but my bf thinks that i am a bad girl,because i lose my v card with my ex. I am in big dilemma.plz suggest me.

I saw this question posted the other day to the general advice section. I also see that you received two very good responses from advisers I respect.

What I see here is a large difference of ages, 13 years to be exact. That in a manor of speaking puts you on two different sides of the same cultural issue. He is of the old culture and you are new age more western in your thinking.

I don\'t see any union between the two of you being anything close to one that could be called godly or heavenly as you are ideological opposites. You say you love him but love only goes so far it will not override the differences you have.

Why is a thirty-five year old man looking at a 22 year old girl to marry. Because he is a hypocrite and he is a mama\'s boy trusting only his mother. He wants a young wife because he has had sex with women and now wants a virgin for a wife. Why does he as a man get to have all the fun then get to demand a virgin for a wife.
There are not many 35 year old virgins that is why he is looking for a 22 year old bride who he won\'t trust because she is not his mother.

He wants a sex slave to have his children, clean his house, cook his food and do his bidding. Is this the life you want. I don\'t think so.

You cannot keep one foot in one culture and one foot in another culture. You have to decide which culture you want. The freedom that western culture provides its women or the cloistering your native culture desires for you. It is not possible to have both.

It is not right for any of us to say you should do this or you should do that. What I will say is that marriage in my view to this man will be a disaster for you. It can only bring you pain and suffering. You are young and their are many more men out there for you to meet and to date.

If I were you I would be telling him that I do not see a compatibility between us and I do not wish to see him any more. Then move on with your life. From the western side of life you have a few more years before you even have to start to look for a marriage partner.

I'm a teen girl and I just started a new school (I moved into a different state). I HATE the new school. It's not just that I'm not adjusted to it yet, but the school and the people there actually depress me. Don't get me wrong, they're very nice, but they're not my friends. My family and I move all the time so it's hard for me to make friends (we've moved about 11 times) and at the last place I made friends for the first time and then we left (I made friends because we actually stayed for a few years at that house). I'm not just a little upset, I'm actually depressed, drained of motivation, and I started cutting. In pretty sure that I've asked this question on here before but it's gotten worse! I need help. Simply thinking about going to the school makes me sick to my stomach and gives me a desire to cut my arms. What do I do?????

I may have answered you in the past. If so excuse me if my answer is in anyway a duplication of what I\'ve said previously.

Parents believe that children are resilient that they will deal with whatever life is throwing at them better than some adults. This is especially true when it comes to disrupting their lives by picking up and moving every few years. It is what the military has told their soldiers for years about the many changes in stations a soldier might have in their career.

The younger a child is the better they deal with these changes in their lives and the easier they may have at making new friends. When you get to your teenage years and into high school is when things start to change. A teenager needs stability, needs to make friends and to socialize. Moving all the time makes this harder for they are the new kid trying to make friends with kid who have spent their entire school career as friends. They may not want to accept anyone else into their group.

When this happens you feel as you do. This also happens at a time when puberty is playing havoc with you and what your parents see is something their parents and grandparents called a phase children went through and would eventually grow out of.

This is not a phase, in fact today doctors have a name for this calling it teenage depression and they can help you. It is easy to see what is causing you to be depressed. IF your dad or mom has to move in order to keep his or her job then the best solution would be for them to find a job that allows them to stay in one place.

I don\'t know your parents, you haven\'t said why you move so often so I could not say if it were possible to find work in their career field that would allow them to stay in one place. Also staying in one place could mean a drastic change in lifestyle as earning could be far less.

Okay that is the reasoning I see behind why you move so often and how you feel. Now lets try to make you feel better and stop cutting. Cutting is dangerous. It may make you feel something for the moment but it if you cut in the wrong place or too deep you could bleed out before help arrives so lets get you some help before that happens.

If you haven\'t spoken to mom or dad about how you feel, and I mean a real serious talk where you show them the cutting scars then you need to. As I said it is too easy to see what you may be saying or how your acting to be passed off as a phase. If you haven\'t shown them you have been cutting then they won\'t know how serious this is. I know you may be embarrassed to show them you cutting scars but you have to do this to show them how much you\'re hurting.

Next if you can\'t bring yourself to talking to them try talking to a trusted teacher or your school principal. Your teacher and principal are charged with looking after your well being. IF you tell them you\'re depressed and that you have taken to cutting. They will step in and talk to your parents for you and see to it that you get the help you need.

Rather than cut and if you feel the need to cut before you have had a chance to get help from a doctor or psychologist to call. Then call 911 instead of cutting. Tell the call taker you feel like cutting yourself. The call taker will stay on the phone with you and talk with you until help arrives. Generally help will be the closest police officer plus the closest fire truck and a paramedic ambulance. The purpose of the Police office is to see to your well being. The police officer is there to make sure no one stands in the way of the firefighters and paramedic for caring for you.

Last I\'m including a hotline that you can call to talk to people better trained than I who can help you. The hotline is the The-Kids-Help-Phone. It operates 24/7 staffed by professionally trained volunteers. The number is 1-800-668-6868

Don't try changing my mind, I want to die and I will.

Everyone hates me, I get bullied at school cos of how I look, what I like, my stupidity... pretty much anything about me. Even my family hate me. There's nothing to live for.

I just wanna know if there are any quick and painless ways to die, just so I don't have to die a horrible slow death cos I'm just a pussy...

If I get any lectures about how "life is precious", or "don't die, you'll be missed", or "suicide is selfish", I wil ignore them and if I don't find any quick and painless ways to kill myself, I guess I'll just have to stop being a pussy and die the hard way. I won't feel the pain when I'm dead anyway I guess...

For all the various reason the others have given you will not get the answer you want from any of us. I will tell you that in all my years on a Rescue squad I have never seen a painless way to die.

Many of us have been bullied at one time or another. I will tell you something about bullies, they are the biggest baby\'s. I was at the fire station one morning at closing time for local bars; when we received a rescue call for a fight at one of the bars. After the cops restored order we were allowed in to patch up the injured. Lying on the floor was the former biggest bully in my high school with an open head wound. I choose to treat him. He screamed like a three year old as I cleaned and dressed his wound. I told him to suck it up. Now of course I had my choice of what to clean his wound with. The fact that I chose straight alcohol meant it must of burnt like crazy. Oh well paybacks or hell.

I know nice story but if I had done what you\'re thinking of doing I would not have been around to pay him back for all those kids he picked on in school including me. It was very satisfying having him in handcuffs screaming and crying.

Look I know you feel life is not worth living right now but it does get better. Before you do something stupid do us all a favor and call these hotlines. They can offer you help to keep on living.

The first one is the Kids-Help Phone. They specialize in helping kids with much of what you wrote about The hotline is open 24/7 staffed by trained volunteers. there number is 1-800-668-6868.

The other hot line is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Call 1-800-273-8255.No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you\'ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

Calls to either hotline are free and totally confidential.

So, I'm a 14 year old girl and I honestly can't cope with the way my parents tell me to live, I feel like I am trapped in my home and I can't do anything!
They have these rules that I cannot go on my iPad/phone until 8pm every night, even at weekends I'm not aloud to use them. They say I'm to antisocial and I need to get out more, I go almost everywhere with them! I do go to town with friends aswell. They won't let me out of my town, I live in Barnstaple, devon and I'm not even aloud to Exeter or Bristol to go on a shopping trip with friends which is only about 2 hours away. Also I'm not aloud to be friends with a few people I know, one of them because there is a rumour going around that her mum is a prostitute and the other one who is my best friend and I still hang out with her secretly because she said something rude on Facebook like 2 years ago! It annoys me how I can't be friends with who I want to be friends with. My parents won't let me go out after school and I always have to be back home at 4pm if I go anywhere, which means I can't go out in the evening or at night and have a laugh :(
They also won't let me use social networks other than Facebook and Twitter, I want to be able to use snapchat, Instagram and tumblr but I'm not aloud to have it on my phone, another thing is that my dad still reads my texts and my messages with friends online!!! I'm 14 and I literally have no privacy! It's really annoying I want to just tell him "no, I won't give you my phone" or just not tell him the lock to my phone but he always makes me! :(
This is really annoying me now how I feel like I am stuck with nothing to do and no privacy at all :(
Anyone know what I could do?

Being 14 is really a hard time for a teenager. You are no longer a child yet you are anywhere close to being an adult. I refer to this age as being a tweener. This age is also tough on us parents for we are not sure how much freedom to give our children at this age and like it or not boys will get more freedom than girls for the simple reason that boys cannot get pregnant.

Now I have read what you have written and hearing your side of the problem I could agree your parents are being a little over protective of you. My question is do they have a reason to be this protective? Have you given them a reason or do you have older siblings that might have given them reason to be more protective with you?

If children came with operating handbooks like cars and appliances do it would be so much simpler for parents. You guys don\'t come with manuals we parents learn on the job. Some of us feel that if we put a total lockdown in place and control everything and anything then everyone is safe. It doesn\'t always work that way. A couple of us warned a friend about doing this with one of his girls, he didn\'t listen. First semester at University she came home pregnant. That can be the result of overbearing parents.

The best advice I can give you is that you are not going to talk your parents, especially your dad into giving you more freedom and privacy; you are going to have to earn it. How you do this differs with each parent though there are almost always two constants; respect and responsibility and they are about equal.

I don\'t know your parents but you do. We both know the meaning of these two words and by knowing your parents you should know what it takes to earn their full respect and what they want to see in you as far as being responsible.

Just remember one thing about you and your dad and this will be true your entire life. When he looks at you he does not see a 14 year old girl. He sees his little girl. He will always see his little girl even when you\'re all grown up and have children of your own. That is just the way it is for fathers with their daughters. They will always want to protect them. This does not mean you cannot earn his respect and trust. This is what you must do to earn more freedom.

I know my advice sucks because it is not instant satisfaction but it is the truth and in the long run will work for you. You can talk with your parents and tell them how you feel and that you have to grow and stretch your wings. That doing so while there standing behind you to pick you up if you fall is better than if you have to learn to stretch your wings when you become an adult.

Hi I just wanted to ask should I go to college if I already know what I want to do and it doesn't involve college? And my family is forcing me to go to become a teacher nurse or doctor and I don't want to do that... What should I do?...

My answer should be YES as in todays job market you cannot truly succeed without some type of advanced schooling or training.

Okay that sentence is about as clear as mud so I will explain. The jobs available to the non-college graduate or the person who has not gone to a technical school for training in a specific career which could be bathing from Culinary Arts to Truck Driving, will find themselves almost shut out of the job market. Even those typical jobs once thought to be the domain of high school graduates, the fast food industry are being taken by College graduates because the job market is so tight.

Now you say you know what you want to do though you haven\'t said what that is. IF you want to be an Certified Auto Mechanic, a Hair Dresser, Computer Technician these are all positions that need technical training which you will not get in college. Going to many of the technical schools that train you for these position do earn you college credit which many colleges will accept if later you decide you want to get a degree in a certain course.

In this case no you should not go to college you should go to the Technical School that will give you the training you need to do the job you want. I also know for a fact if you wish to be a licensed tradesperson; plumber, electrician HVAC, these trade groups all run training school sanctioned by a local community college. BE the a union or non-union school you earn college credit for what they teach you.

What I\'m saying is if you are going into a professional trade or Technical school; make sure that what you are learning is backed up with college credits. This way later in life if you do decide you want a degree or need a degree for a better job you have a good start towards one.

26/f
This is a bit of a strange question I suppose.
I'm going into psychology. I intend to work with people. I'm very, very good at my job, which is involves social work. I got into the school I wanted, I raised a wonderful, sweet cat who's a fantastic companion, I'm happily single, headed toward my dream career, independent, etc...
But I never fit in. I don't connect with my age group at all. I look young for my age, but I feel like I'm closer to 40 than 30, and my body is falling apart inside - I'm a medical mess (crohn's disease, chronic pain, arthritis, history of anorexia, PTSD, depression, chronic insomnia, and formerly nightmare disorder). I have an affinity for classical music, I get piano sonatas stuck in my head and people I consider close friends laughed at me when I excitedly showed them a new book of arias I'm working on learning.
Even in my own friend group I'm not part of the group. I always feel like I'm observing from the outside, even when I make an attempt to be part of the crowd. It's not that these people exclude me at all. They make efforts to INCLUDE me, if anything.
I just don't feel like I fit in my own skin somehow.
I'm not really sure what my question is... does anyone have thoughts on this? Suggestions? Experiences?
Thanks to everyone who responds.

With the exception of your medical problems I believe you have it pretty much all together. No one says we have to fit in within our own peer group. For the longest time I always felt more comfortable with people above my own age group as do many of us. You have put together a rich and invigorating life for yourself. You have your work that you enjoy, your music and you enjoy being independent You do have friends and your working on learning arias; to me that is a rich life.

Classical music is not everyone\'s style. My own musical tastes are quite eclectic. Depending on my mood I can listen comfortably and enjoy the classics, Jazz, Rock and I\'m really into the New Age Music. Depending on what I\'m listening to I can drive people away and that\'s fine for there are times when I just want to be alone with my music. If I want to share my music with people I would join a music club that enjoys the same type of music I do so we could discuss just as they do with book clubs. Something for you to consider if you wish to make friends with people with your taste in music.

As a social worker you know that some of your medical problems are of the type that can be controlled but not totally cured. That you have to learn to live with most of them. I too suffer with chronic pain and was the cause of me experiencing a major depressive episode. With treatment at a major hospital pain center for pain management and with the help of an excellent psychologist. I have learned to live with my pain and the change in lifestyle the reason for my chronic pain brought on.

I have been pronounce cured of my depression, I consider myself in remission since the depression itself and its triggers are something I have to be on guard for. To that end I continue to check in with my psychologist on a monthly basis just to give me and her an opportunity to talk and for her to make sure I haven\'t slipped back or missed a trigger.

Considering everything you are suffering and have suffered I believe you would do well to continue to see a therapist or to start seeing a therapist again if you have stopped seeing one. It won\'t hurt and will help you stay the course so to speak and possibly help you with some of the more personal aspects you have written about.

I have chlymadia for over probably a week now... Can I still get pregnant?

I\'m not sure just what you\'re asking. If you\'re asking is can you become pregnant while you have Chlamydia the answer is yes. If your asking if Chlamydia can prevent you from becoming pregnant in the future. The answer to that question is yes as well if left untreated.

Excerpt from Wikipedia: can cause scarring inside the reproductive organs, which can later cause serious complications, including chronic pelvic pain, difficulty becoming pregnant, ectopic (tubal) pregnancy, and other dangerous complications of pregnancy.

Below are two websites I found that will do a far better job of explaining the disease than I can. I suggest you follow the links and read up on it.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Chlamydia/STDFact-Chlamydia.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia_infection

So me and my friend were getting revenge on these 2 girls. Yes I know it's bad, and I learned my lesson. But they found out and said that tomorrow I would be sorry. I don't know if I want to tell the teachers either, because then they will talk to her about it. Then she'll know and try to hurt me even more because i'm a "snitch". She's a really violent girl and I'm not a fight type of person. Please help. Yes I know it was bad of me to get revenge and everything but i'm really scared. Please please help me, I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

I have to go to school eventually, and I only have to go like 20 more times before Summer then I probably will never see her again. But I'm scared. The only time she would be able to hurt me would be after school, but there's teachers near me. I still feel like she would try to do something. Please help as soon as possible. Sorry if this is long I just really need advice here.

Revenge is one thing being threatened is a whole other thing. In your revenge if you did not make any threat to her and you have not yet carried out your revenge then you have not harmed her.

An example of what I mean would be: You can plan to rob a bank but until you actually rob the bank the police cannot arrest you. They can only advise you not to if they learn of your plan. A plan is not an act.

A threat to harm someone is altogether different. If someone threatens to harm you and is capable of doing so that is a crime. It is called Assault. You could if you want report this threat to the police. If you two are seniors is high school then you are certainly old enough to know better and the police could charge her as an adult. Depending on how serious the threat they could charge her with a felony.

My advice would be to notify the police of her threat. Then if she or any of her friends do you any harm she is the first person the police will go to. If any of her friends do you harm she will be just as guilty as the police will see it as her putting them up to it. This will all be explained to her by the police.

You do not have to go to school scared. Besides threatening you she is bullying you which is another law she is breaking. If she is the violent person you say she is then the police may be all too familiar with her. In that case they may take her into custody.

Where I live if a student is taken into custody by the police for any reason the are automatically suspended from school until their case is adjudicated at which time they could face expulsion. Your school system may have the same rules.

You can also go to court and get an order of protection from her which would make it hard for her to be in the same school with you. A documented threat to the police almost guarantees the court will issue an order of protection ordering her to stay away from you. How far away will be up to the courts.

My advice is to call the police.

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