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I'm being friendzoned
I'm friendzoned by a friend. We are really close to each other and one time when her boyfriend left her I was by her side when she was really hurt and sad. And now she said that she is now looking for another love. And I volunteered but of course I made it a joke cuz I'm afraid I might be rejected. But then she said I must nit volunteer because she doesn't want to lose me cuz she treasures me as her brother. Wtf? I really like her and loved her but she just think me as her brother. Please help
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It sucks when someone you like doesn't feel the same towards you. But you can't make someone want you or want to be with you.
Maybe someday in the future she might feel that way, but I wouldn't wait around for it. If she doesn't feel that spark between you two, there's nothing you can do about it.
Keep being her friend, but don't expect anything more to come out of it.
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I'm sorry she sees you in this way though there is little you can do about it. My son is in the same situation with a friend of his. He sees her as someone he would like to have a romantic interest in. She sees him as someone she is afraid a romantic interest could cause her to lose him as a friend. Fact is they are perfect for each other.
They both want someone who can be independent of the other. They are both emergency responders. She is a Police Officer and he is a Paramedic/Firefighter. This is why they want an independent person as a spouse. In all other ways they are perfect for each other.
Most great relationships and marriages start out as great friendships. My advice to you is the same I have given my son. Don't give up on her. Continue the friendship. It is very possible that the friendship will turn romantic all on its own you just cannot force it. If it happens and the chances of it happening are in your favor it will happen slowly and almost without notice.
One day you will be best friends and the next day you will be lovers. How you handle the transition from friends to lovers when it happens will decide if the relationship continues to be a loving relationship.
While you’re waiting continue to date others for even though the odds are in your favor you should hedge your bet by looking for someone else. This may also be the catalyst needed to move this relationship forward.
Good luck.
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Honestly, she's probably just not into you. You can't activate her romantic interest by acting distant and trying to make her long for you. It just doesn't work that way. What you'll accomplish is her confused, hurt feelings. This'll probably lead to a confrontation that'll be difficult for either of you to handle.
You are her friend, right? So I'm assuming her friendship is valuable and not seen as just a tedious step toward relationshipland. If that's true, I'd just let it go and be there for her. No tricks or attempts at manipulation. Maybe she'll have a change of heart later on, but I seriously doubt it. No one can simply choose or change who they're attracted to.
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The best way to escape friendzone is that make her long for you. You must not be available all the time when she wants to see you. I know this can be so hard but take some time about it. And also you must abolish the "brotherly attitude'' which is you are too easy to ask for help and you are always with her. She can't feel that you have feeling for her because you are too good to her and are like his brother.
A little flirting can do. But if you are already trying it but the didn't work, I think it's time for you to have an own time for yourself. I'm not saying that you must surrender about your feelings to her, but I'm saying that you must let her think that it's not easy losing you and not all the time you are with her because you need to find someone who will complete you. But of course that's just a false alarm to make her think how important you are to her. And also by telling her that you are searching for someone, that way she can feel jelousy. At that case she will be preoccupied and she will be longing for you. So then she can realize that she likes you. Then after for few days, tell her that you haven't found someone else. Then ask her to go out. Ohh then your relationship will start to flourish.
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