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I can't understand my boyfriend
Hi. I am from India. 22/f. I have a major problem with my boyfriend.though we love each other but our mentality and point of view have hell and heaven defferences. He is very orthodox.and high religious value.but i am not. He has a issue with women.he cannot fully trust any woman except his mother.he also think that those woman who go for work outside from home,she can't run a family and take care her children.he always protest the idea of woman independence,woman empowerment.he thought his wife must stay at home and lookafter his home!i am a educated girl.and wants to be a government servant.though he not force me to do anything,but when we talk about this,he told me about his views.he thought that every woman is fake,liar.i can't understand what to do.he is 35years old.matured enough.also he has a issue with my past. Because i am not a virgin so he always tell me bad words.but i love him.not my ex. I was immature those days.but my bf thinks that i am a bad girl,because i lose my v card with my ex. I am in big dilemma.plz suggest me.
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I saw this question posted the other day to the general advice section. I also see that you received two very good responses from advisers I respect.
What I see here is a large difference of ages, 13 years to be exact. That in a manor of speaking puts you on two different sides of the same cultural issue. He is of the old culture and you are new age more western in your thinking.
I don't see any union between the two of you being anything close to one that could be called godly or heavenly as you are ideological opposites. You say you love him but love only goes so far it will not override the differences you have.
Why is a thirty-five year old man looking at a 22 year old girl to marry. Because he is a hypocrite and he is a mama's boy trusting only his mother. He wants a young wife because he has had sex with women and now wants a virgin for a wife. Why does he as a man get to have all the fun then get to demand a virgin for a wife.
There are not many 35 year old virgins that is why he is looking for a 22 year old bride who he won't trust because she is not his mother.
He wants a sex slave to have his children, clean his house, cook his food and do his bidding. Is this the life you want. I don't think so.
You cannot keep one foot in one culture and one foot in another culture. You have to decide which culture you want. The freedom that western culture provides its women or the cloistering your native culture desires for you. It is not possible to have both.
It is not right for any of us to say you should do this or you should do that. What I will say is that marriage in my view to this man will be a disaster for you. It can only bring you pain and suffering. You are young and their are many more men out there for you to meet and to date.
If I were you I would be telling him that I do not see a compatibility between us and I do not wish to see him any more. Then move on with your life. From the western side of life you have a few more years before you even have to start to look for a marriage partner.
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