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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

For some reason, i can't take a crap. Can you tell me what i need to eat to fix my diet? Thank you.

My own mother had an intestinal blockage, some kind of kink in her intestines that Drs needed to operate on cus she was in pain and couldn't have bowel movements. Yes, thats rare but thats a medical reason why there could be something wrong. In seeing the Dr. they will recommend what you can take if its just diet related to get things flowing again and may have you talk to a dietician about your diet to get trained as to what to eat for maximum gut health.

If you have no insurance and because of that dont want to see a Dr. you can alway ask a store pharmacist what to take if you are very constipated and see what they recommend. However, if what they recommend doesn't work in the recommended time, you might just have to go to the Dr. anyways to avoid the greater costs of emergency room as an old boss of mine experienced.
She'd been constipated an extremely long time and one day experienced what she thought was heart pains and a heart attack. After emergency room costs, the end result was severe constipation which can lead to your body starting to have trouble in other areas and can result in other organs having pains or starting the shut down process. So do not wait.

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Ok me and my friends were talking about this cute guy when all of sudden a couple of boys come up to me and they say the boy over there thinks I'm cute and he likes me. So I walk over I didn't say anything because I was scared he didn't say anything either but he said I don't like her and he tried to run away but his friends wouldn't let him they keep saying that he liked me one of them said he had a girlfriend but I don't know. Do you think he likes me or nah? Or do you think they were messing with me?

Hon, theres no way to really know by his actions or his friends claims if he likes you.
But I will say this, even if he is shy, but likes you, he will stare at you a lot or you catch him looking at you but looking away when you look at him, only to look at you again once you turn away. A guy who likes a girl will try to find excuses to be near her like an exc. If not shy, then a guy will ways to talk to you. If not brave enough to come right to the point and ask you out, he might get in the lunch line and say something about a class or teacher or upcoming school event...you know...something casual and innocent that is not on the topic of liking you. What you need to know is that guys don't stare at girls or try to get near or talk to the ones they have no interest in. There is no point in doing it so they don't.
You need to learn to not trust what anyone tells you about someone else, not at this age and not when you're an adult. If you want to know if a guy likes you, you need to hear it from him. Sometimes guys like to mess with one of their buddies by totally makin something up to embarass him or girls do the same cus they're bored and they find playing matchmaker kinda fun. It's never fun for the friend put on the spot tho.
Were you already interested in him before hearing these guys saying stuff to you? If so, you might try talking to the guy when his friends are not around so they dont know and if you do get together, keep it a secret. When we are young, middle school, and H.S., we arent quite self confident yet and its painful to be put on the spot, teased, and horribly embarassing if you were to be one of the first in your circle of friends to have a crush on someone or be dating someone. You need to think of his feelings. Now if you had not noticed him much before and had no feelings toward him or perhaps didnt like him at all, it would seem pretty silly to walk up to the guy assuming what you heard was true. My own younger sister did that when I was close to 20. told me that a guy who was a friend of mine talked to her and said he was in love with me. I did not believe a guy in his mid twenties would be so weird as to say this to the sister but not to the gal he loved. When I talked to him the next day, I added in to the regular convo, "Oh by the way, my sister says you told her you are in love with me. I don't tend to believe what others say, not unless I hear it from the person in particular. He then told he, he liked me but wouldn't say he was at the point of being in love with me yet.
So I caution you to be careful about what you hear. And don't be so willing to date just any old guy who happens to say they like you. He could have an anger problem and be the kind to beat up on girlfriends. When you pick a guy to go after to date, do so only to get to know him better to see if he's really a good guy or not. And so, I cant tell you if he likes you or not. But by what you have said, there was no mention of the things I said indicate an interest in a girl so most likely, he is not into you. And yes, I believe his friends were messing with you, or bored and trying to tease him or play matchmaker, something lots of kids do at this age. I remember watching students at this age actually try to push their buddy into the person they thought she or he should pair up with. Thats rude and mean but kids at this age just dont seem to know better.

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My ex bf and i are seeing each other for almst two years now i saw him 3 weeks ago havent heard from him since sunday so i texted him tuesday and told him about a movie that the msnt forget to get he read it but ddnt reply i then texted hm before new years to he ddnt read it or reply i thnk he deleted it..when it striked new yearz i phone him and then asked if he got my text and he told me yes he ignored it on purpose and then i said ok and wished him happy new year he didnt even wish me.. what does it mean,am i right when i say he wants nothing to do with me anymore he probably moved on,I found myself crying so much on new year it really sucked :'(
I dont knw what to do or think,was hm tlng me that hs way of saying leave me alone its done and over i moved on want nthng to do with u anymre..iv decided to rather stay away

With a 2 yr relationship, if his feelings changed or he met someone he feels is a better fit for him, it is more often that a guy will not be mature and just come out and gently explain his feelings so you know its over. Generally guys feel most females are going to cry or become hysterical and that is something that makes them uncomfortable having to cause or at least witness. In truth I can't blame guys cus more women than not will react this way. Very few will accept the news though hurt by it without all the dramatics. So unfortunately you had a guy there who decided to just stop responding and hoping you got the hint. So in your next relationship, you may want to add to the list, looking for a guy who is good at communicating, talking and not leaving things unsaid, thoughtful of others feelings and a heck of a lot more mature.
It hurts to be rejected, I know, been there done that.I also know that for special occasions I like to have someone special with me. Birthdays and holidays but for some reason New years is even more significant, marking a new year and new hopes and plans and to have your expectations that he might be there with you for New Years must be an extra blow. But time will heal dear and he was definitely not right for you if he could treat you that way. When a man truly is in love with you , he would never want to say or do anything that hurts you or brings you to tears or makes you upset because like with my husband, if I am hurt he hurts too.

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hello,y name is joel and im from the philippines and i just want to hear another person's advice about our relationship. my situation is that my girlfriend broke up with me but she said that she'll give me another a chance. but not as a bf anymore, she said that we need to start over and i need to court her again. after a few weeks, were just getting along just fine but one day our problems just kept on coming and we're fighting day by day so she said that she wants some space between us. so i gave her the time and space that she wanted.

then one day, i discovered that she is super sweet to his guy bestfriend based on what my 2 trusted friends told me when they saw their conversation at the phone. and they are even saying i love you to each other. and my friends saw that months afo before the day she said that she doesnt want to anymore.
actually they became bestfriends without me knowing it. and i only discovered when i accidentally saw their call names while my gf is txting and they are bestfriend like 4-6 months already before i knew about it. its like they are hiding it from me.

her bestfriend is actually my friend. and my gf said to me before. a friend is only a friend. so theres no need to worry. What should i do? should i keep on waiting for her? or should i stop now. it hurts so much since shes my first girlfriend

There is girlfriend as some people consider the word and then theres my idea of what it means. Some young people just starting out with being attracted to the opposite sex assume that if you befriend a person of the opposite sex, that is a friend who is a girl and thus, girlfriend. To me, dating or hanging out with a person is a discovery period, to yet a time of commitment to each other but a time to find out more about the other person to decide if this person is someone you love everything about, dont want to change anything of and theres nothing harmful or irritating or missing thats needed in how they treat you and likewise how you equally treat them. In relationships, one can develop strong feelings while the other never does beyond just friendship. The best strongest long lasting life term relationships or ultimately marriages are a combination of two things. One is being each others best friend. this is the person who knows you best and cares about your best interests and is one you can trust to be an open book to and share things you wouldnt with anyone else. Some people find best friends of the same sex, so a male who is a buddy like that for you. But its even more wonderful when a male can find a female whom he can truly consider his very best friend among best friends and have a relationship closer than any other. The second thing that makes a love relationship like this so wonderful no matter the persons sexual orientation, is being attracted to them sexually, having pheremones that truly are the same or similar, this is what keeps you still attracted once the excitement of a new relationship wears off in weeks or a few months. Think of recieving a gift for your birthday or some Holiday and how excited you are right before opening it. Months later, is the gift still inspiring the same kind of excitement you felt at the time you were unwrapping it? For most people, unless the gift was ultimately the most perfect thing, something a perfect match for who you are and what you need and want, then yes. But too many gifts are not like that so we lose our interest in them. Its the same with people. She could have been attracted and assumed there was a real connection due to this new relationship energy and excitement but when it wore off, she lost that level of interest needed for the romance and sexual attraction part of the relationship and is left with only the best friend part IF that was ever really there. So at best, the way life goes, you may only be able to be best friends, and at the worst, not even that and have no reason to see each other anymore. So worst case scenerio, this may be what is happening between you and her. Its not a matter of whether she has male friends. A true committed couple who were secure in their love for each other would have no issues knowing their mates have close friends of the opposite sex such as is the case for my husband and myself. I make friends with males easier than females and he has female friends from his past that he keeps in touch with and even compliments or flirts in for the joy of fun of flirting, not the other reason as in letting someone know you are interested in a relationship with them.

As to what your gf said to you, it tells me she hasn't a single clue as to what she is saying and is talking nonsense if the words you used are the same, that she will no longer accept you as a boyfriend but you must start over and court her? Courting is what people do to get to know the other person well enough, just as in dating or hanging out together as some call it. Its the discovery period of getting to know whether the other person is right for you to be in a commited relationship with or not. Not the other way around where young people make a commitment first to be boyfriend and girlfriend and have a committed relationship. this is why you are hurt and why so many adults even who haven't learned this yet, as so hurt is because they assumed the 'discovery period' of being in the company of that person is equal to some kind of commitment when it truly is not. In fact when a man is serious about finding the woman he is wanting to settle down with and marry and raise kids with, its like he's on a mission and many males may date several good prospects for a short amount of time all at the same time until during this dating he is able to narrow it down and then again some more until it is clear to him which remaining one is the perfect girl for him and at that point, he breaks it off with any remaining ladies and then goes for a commited relationship with the right gal and together they work toward getting to know each other even better and work towards marriage. Of course as a young person, a teen, one is far from marriage yet, but any dating done should be done more for the experience one gains in becoming better and better and finding someone who is the best person for you. these early relationships wont end up in marriage, its very rare, but they are good and important to at least learn by, learn what you what in a relationship, what works, what doesnt. and there can be 2 people perfect for you but only one with whom you feel sexually attracted to so only that one is the right choice then. You have much learning to do yet. And being the one rejected rather than the one rejecting is of course painful and makes us wonder if we are lacking as a human in some way. Most often its not that we have some terrible destructive behaviour but that the two just wouldn't be a perfect match. If you've ever played jig saw puzzles, you'll understand that a very close match might cause you to mistakenly place a piece in the wrong spot cus it seems to match, until you get to the end and realize that the last piece obviously is the wrong colors and therefore, somewhere is a piece you put in the wrong location. Lots of relationship are like that, it doesnt mean there's something wrong with the puzzle piece, its not bad, wrong, warped or anything, its just not right for spot it was put in. So it is when dating, dating is to discover if you are two matching jig saw puzzles pieces, the perfect fit for each other, not just close. And like with puzzles, its impossible to always know until you take that piece and place it in that spot to see if it fits, the same with people. You spend time with each other to discover if you are the perfect fit. Sometimes both know each other if the right one or both know the other is the wrong one and so mutually part without hurt feelings. It is when one feels its a perfect relationship and the other doesnt feel it that it hurts for the one who thought it was perfect but it may have only been close and they just didnt realize it.
My interpretation is that she doesnt see you as a perfect fit for her although shes young as you are and when we are young, we make mistakes and sometimes think we have the wrong person when that person is the right one or we believe someone is right for us when they are actually quite wrong for us and that is when there is trouble in relationships, they are rocky, constant fighting, and other conflicts. So sometimes, we don't wise up on finding and keeping the right person until we are much older, like late twenties in age and into our thirties. that doesnt mean every relationship up until then is a mistake, they are all part of our learning experience, a way to help prepare us for the future when choosing our mate to marry so as far as that is concerned, this relationship you had with her was a good thing but it seems to have come to an end at least as far as she is concerned and you can't wait around for her to change her mind on something like this for which there usually is never going to be a change of mind. Its just the way it is. So there is no reason for you to wait around for her. Move on to your next dating experience, and try with each girl you choose to pick one that is some ways is a step better than the last one based on the issues or problems you discovered with the last. How else are you to eventually learn how to find and recognize your future marriage mate if you remain stuck and mourning the loss of one person who was never meant to be your eventual mate.

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So, my boyfriend and I got together freshman year. We're now seniors. He's broken up with me three total times and every time comes back saying he regrets it and still loves me. This most recent time he told me we just cant let his family know we're together. Anyway, I've started feeling insecure about the fact we're not having sex/talking about having sex when nobody is a virgin it seems. I just feel like it would be a terrible idea to have sex with how unstable our relationship is? Should I just get over my fear and do it or am I right that I should hold off?

So your title mentions relationship stress. But in your message, it sounds like his on again off again status with you isn't what is really distressing but the fact you speak of having sex yet not doing it that has you most concerned. I am assuming you are in HS and it isnt college age we're talking about. Age explains a lot. At your ages, people are only just starting to learn about the opposite sex and how they differ in thinking and how they understand or view things as that has great impact on relationships. And also, we are just starting to get our feet wet with dating experience. Its all new and no one has any prior experience. And now, since still not an adult and under the care and upbringing, teaching and rules of the parents, theres that too to consider. I wonder how well you know his parents and home life and their beliefs. His parents may be very religious with beliefs on no sex before marriage or even no dating anyone of a different religious belief than yours or they may have forbidden him from dating until he graduated or became an adult at 18. Since the last time he says you can't let his family discover you are together, i would say that strongly indicates why he keeps breaking up. His mind is so cultured to their standards and beliefs that even though he may not agree with it or believe it, eventually guilt does get to him subconsciously and he can't handle how he is feeling either from guilt of dating you and going against parents rules and wishes or simply because he realizes for himself that he just isnt ready for this kind of commitment yet.
Since you've been dating on and off almost 4 yrs, this is quite unusual for this age bracket. Early dating never lasts that long, usually way less than 6 months, sometimes weeks or a month. In rare cases, a year. So either the 2 of you are still together because you are both really perfect for each other and thats why he keeps coming back cus he means what he says that he loves you or he, you or both of you would rather stay with someone who is the common known person that is more comfortable rather than moving on to find someone who is yet an unknown factor. People remain in bad relationships simply cus its too scary to start all over and there's no guarantee how long it will take or if you will find someone else and of course someone even better.

I think a good talk is required between you two. You need to ask if its because of something going on with his parents that he has broken up in the past feeling guilt or scared. You need to discover why he says his parents can't know. Hon, there are 26 yr olds who write in about having kept their dating relationships a secret due to having controlling parents who wouldn't approve of who they are dating or want to marry. Nows the time to begin to learn how to communicate in a relationship. You merely hearing him say that you cant let his parents find out and just accepting that statement at face value without discovering the why behind it is not the right way to go. Always take what a person says, rephrase it in your own words to how ever you picked up on it and ask if this is what a person meant. What one says and what the other hears doesnt always match. Or the person hearing just assumes what it meant or has questions but doesnt ask and that is also very bad for relationships of any kind, not just bf/gf but interacting with teachers, friends, family, and co-workers or boss. Learn great communication with people in general and then the how to's of being in relationship with some of the opposite sex, the do's and donts basically and you will have a heck of a lot less stress in relationships if the other person is also mature and doing their utmost to communcate well and to understand others viewpoints, idea's and beliefs. I hope this helps you out a bit.

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Hi, known him for few months and we work together. Nice person. We joke and flirt now and then but he's like that to everyone. He sometimes sings me to when he sees me and the other day same thing happened, he sang to me getting closer and I told my colleague, he loves me jokingly and he immediately said, I do and I just looked at him, he was just looking at right at me then we just smiled. Mens opinion, please.

Cheers

I work somewhere where the ages of employees range from 20 to 50s. Older men are very subtle if they like or admire a women and same for flirting. Then again, there's also ones particular personality that can make it seem like one male likes a gal more than others. I even can draw on many of my past jobs too where I traveled between departments and had to speak with many other employees on a regular basis, many of them men. I was married then, still am now to someone new, but It didn't prevent some guys from seriously flirting just for the fun of it. So good a flirt, that they can be mistaken for being serious if you didnt know better. I was old enough to have some experience and could see through it that it was all for fun and not serious. And yes, this was guys who were like that with any other females who were friendly and outgoing and liked to talk and laugh and sometimes tease their coworkers, females included. I didnt notice guys waste efforts flirting with the women who were shy, quiet and introverts who didn't chat friendly like unless it involved strictly their job. I have had some guys bump into me and so I bump back into them and then it became a bump each other type of flirt as we had to travel down the same hallway between cubicles. I have had a few guys actually make up a rhyme about me and do it in a singsong type of style. It never meant anything to them seriously and It didn't to me. Flirting can be done just for fun or it can be used to let the person you like have a clue that you seriously want to get to know them and maybe start a relationship with you. I assume that like me, you must be easy to approach and chat with, friendly, outgoing and have a good sense of humor and all around fun to be with and that is enough reason for a guy to flirt with you among the others too. Liking someone as a friend or coworker is quite a different like than being interested in as the opposite sex with the hope to get together.

I know you wanted a guy to answer and I'm sure you'll get that, but I felt it would be good to have a rounded out perspective with my response as well, from a female who is very open minded and also is very comfortable around males and prefers them as friends to women.

In the work environment where sexuall harassment is not tolerated and employees are taught to watch their manners, if a guy was serious about a female coworker, even flirting can be dangerous but as he has asked nothing of her, not even to go out with him, then most companies dont seem to have a problem as long as its not overt and constant and too out in the open obvious. Some females who did not like the guy or welcome any attention or invite to go out, could in some cases go overboard, freak out and tell the boss the guy was sexually harassing her. To me, that is a bit over the top. If a gal says no and he respects it, all is good. This tho is why some workplaces have a policy that one cant date another coworker. Where I currently work, the gal was transfered to work at another location simply because she and a male employee became a couple and met at work. Companys take this seriously. So the pressure on guys of wondering if their action may be taken wrong will prevent many who may truly be interested in taking further steps like asking you out. This may be a possibilty. Is he just shy? No. A shy person would not act as he does and be so outgoing and flirty...its not in their nature. As for the exchange about saying he loves you and him immediately saying I do, you cant assume that it is totally serious and means something. Yes it might but again it might not. I currently work with an entire staff who like to say outrageous things to make the other person laugh, to lighten up the fact that the work is hard. And I hear this kind of teasing in many forms every day. A new asst. manager who started same time and worked as long as I have there decided to see if she could startle me or scare me by her brand of teasing, outrageous negative stuff said with such a good poker face that an unsuspecting new hiree might take for serious could really freak a person out. I arrived for work one day and she immediately spoke to me saying that I was fired. My very quick response wasnt the look of shock she hoped for but "Oh goody" were my words which in turn had her jaw dropping. She asked why I would say that and I said, "State something outragous to me and I will respond with something outragous." Then I patted her shoulder saying, "Gotcha."
What is your womans intuition telling you. Its important to learn to sense when someone is serious or not so you don't miss out on something or get upset and take something seriously that wasnt meant that way, just a tease.
I love to tease people and am quite good at it. Not so when I was a teen or young adult. I had to learn how to do so.
Lastly, if you really like this guy and he's single and so are you and you would like to get to know him better away from work, then you might have to make the first move. But beware of your companies policies on dating in the office as it might require one of you losing your position there if you do become a couple and its not tolerated.

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Do you think that is fair that for my parents dont give me pocket money amd i have stopped givig me anything for my birthday and christmas? Im a 15 year old girl and i do ski racing, i know its an expensive sport and i really appreciate what my parents do for me by willingly buying my equipment and my training. But the dont think I appreciate this at all, ad thats the problem. The decided to never give me pocket money to help fund my passion which i was fine with as i still got around £50 for my birthday and £100 for christmas for basic things like clothes and going out with friends, phone ect. I was hard and it takes me years to save up sometimes but i didnt mind. Now tho the stopped my money for birthday and christmas so i dont know what to do, i literally have no income. And before you say anything yes I have tried to get a job, but they all said i was too young. I tried to reason with my parents but then they would rant about how they are bending over backwards for me and how im so ungreatful and appreciate nothing. As a result of this i currently only have a broken phone and a broken laptop that i cant afford to fix, i never leave the house because i have nothing to wear and i cant affford the cinema or the bus to town or food, i literally have no social life :( am i actually being really ungrateful?

I'm with adviceman, I wonder at the sudden change, of helping out and now not. It could so easily be that they are facing a budget crunch and anything deemed not a necessity like a roof over ones head and food on the table is getting cut out. The excuse they gave you is perhaps just how they are interpreting things. I dont know you and what you in innocence may be doing or have done that they see as being ungrateful but my guess is that you are not doing anything like that on purpose and so whatever you assume is normal and reasonable is not being seen the same way for them.
I raised 3 kids and know how the way I see things and they interpret can be vastly different and is often due to the generation gap and how the parents were raised, and especially what they had to make do with and whats available and seen as normal for kids today.
I could tell you all sorts of stories. Growing up, with 3 siblings, none of us ever got any allowance tho some friends did. We didn't feel left out or that we had mean parents, they truly were always strapped for money being the lower end of middle class trying to stay there so some luxerys had to be cut out or never included. My brother had a paper route to earn his money and my oldest sister and I did babysitting to earn money and back then we got 5o cents to 75 cents per hour. It took a lot of saving up to buy anything then too. We all shared one old bike. So when we were able, we all bought our own bikes. My youngest sis, not old enough to babysit yet had no earnings and the parents couldn't afford to buy her a 10 speed bike so she could keep up with us when we went bike riding, so I bought her one with my only saved up money. Though prices were cheaper, so was the pay and so the hardship to afford things were still the same as today. The only thing is that there wasnt a big fuss yet about selling brand name clothing to kids, no cells or pc's yet or any of the very expensive and not long lasting technology of today. Yes, I have a cell now and wouldn't go back to land line. And I still use a lap top since its easier on my older eyes but my kids did beg for their own computers when younger and said all their friends had their own. Most kids didnt even have cell phones of their own yet, only a few when my kids were in school. They didn't get allowance and had to earn their own money too. But luckily Dad had a side business where he needed a new computer every 2 years to keep up with the constantly updated programs he needed to use to do his business, so one by one, they each got one of his old computers, otherwise, they would have had to share one with me. My guess is that since you look around and see what your friends what in spending money, you feel its unfair you don't have it. However, the only actual law any parent needs to follow regarding the welfare and care of their children is to provide shelter, food and clothing. Law does not have stipulations on what type of housing such as a house and your own bedroom rather than shared, vs a tiny apt. or going out to eat alot vs home cooked meals from food bank food, or non name brand clothing, just functional ones that keep a child clothed appropriate to the weather at the time. I hardly believe you can not leave the house due to having nothing to wear. If you truly had nothing to wear as you stated, you'd be walking around inside the home totally nude or in underwear and you wouldnt be attending school at all which would bring officials to your door to speak with your parents. LOL What I am saying is that what you stated is an exaggeration and not the actual picture of what your situation is. I am sure you have clothing to wear, it just not what you want to wear, or you are sick of it and want something newer or a fancy more expensive name brand which may not be possible on parents current budget even though they gave you another reason, maybe due to pride and not wanting to worry you with their financial difficulties. I understood my girls wanting certain name brand and popular with teens... shoes, that cost twice the amount of what I had budgeted for. ONe asked for it and I told her, I would pay the amount I had budgeted and if she wanted to put up the rest of the price out of her own hard earned cash then we'd get it. One was willing to do that. Another daughter was not. When she thought hard about blowing all her long time to save cash on this popular tennis shoe, all of a sudden, it didn't seem like such a good deal to her. SHe had other things more important to her to use her money on and settled for the store brand. Sometimes we tend to mix up what is needed with what is wanted. Those are two very different things. I think its a good idea to have a good talk with the parents and find out if its a financial reason for them cutting off the funding of certain things for you. And if not, exactly what is it that they see you doing that causes them to believe you are ungrateful. If you approach them saying you truly want to know so you can correct your behavior, then they may be willing to tell you. As long as you can keep your cool and not become angry or dramatic over it, you may gain some perspective that could help you in other areas of your life if theres some attitude you appear to have that you totally have no clue you are doing. I know theres not much of regular paying jobs to get at your age but there are younger kids and teens who have found ways to earn money long before being old enough to get the regular jobs. I mentioned babysitting. My husbands daughter at age 12 was creating clothing for avatars on IMVU, and by the volume of sales and paypal and having a bank account, had at least 600. US dollars or more per month and was ordering all the clothes she wanted from catalogs that her parents couldn't afford. I have read a story on line of two sister grade school age who had a business going to several neighbors homes daily and scooping dog poop up, something many pet owners hate doing and they were making good money at it. Other young kids, a whiz at todays electronics would charge to older folks like their grandparents age to spend some time showing them how to use their new cell phone or computer and thats not at all about repair. Thats a big market for kids. I have to take my phone to a store to have someone show me how to use it and would be quick to pay a young teen a one time training fee to show me how to set things and use things on mine when ever I get a new one. As it is, I have my daughters who though rolling their eyes will show me how to use something. Put your mind to it and you may just find a way to offer a service that could give you the money to go to movies and eat out with friends and maybe even buy a few clothing items you've been wanting. I hope this helps give you another perspective on your situation. Good luck dear.

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what is the most painless and effective way to commit suicide qickly and painlessly

the advice for suicide isn't what most people here would give. As far as we know at least from attempted suicides, there is no painless way to go. The suggestion for hanging might be one of the quickest ways to go if done properly. However you didn't mention what your situation is that is driving you to want to end your life or your age. For all we know, there may be reasons you are feeling this way where the issues can be solves but you only have your own perspective and when we all rely on our own perspective, it is limited to only that which we know or have tried to solve our issues on our own. This is an advice column where we try to give other views and perspectives and sometimes some actual knowledge gained from our own lives that can be helpful to a person considering suicide. Ultimately, anyone writing here for advice must still make their own decision but often, once hearing of things they may not yet have tried, lives have been saved in the process and the person happier than they've ever been. Yes, we have heard back from some who have written us thinking suicide was their only choice and yet the info they gained here helped them to decide to live and find an answer to their problems.

I will list a quick example here I know of where just a little bit of info could have solved the issue and saved a life and it regards Teen depression. We live in a toxic polluted world and often some of the residue chemicals enter our bodies by routine contact with normal items in our daily lives. What I am getting at is that the hormonal changes of puberty is one reason when teens emotions go off the chart and they are severely depressed for seemingly no particular reason but the depression is so all consuming that the person can't see a way out. Perhaps there is a way. I have come to learn that in girls for example, their bodies have picked up plenty of the artificial female hormones from the environment by time puberty hits. Then their own bodies release the same hormone to help their body go through the needed changes and all of a sudden, they are experiencing hormone overload. In some teens, this overload leads to severe depression which could so easily be gotten rid of by a visit to a Dr who could check their hormone levels and if too high prescribe a medication just for the teen years until the body stabilizes on its own and the depression that caused a suicide could have been prevented. WHile thats not always the case, it is just one example where taking the time to let us know of what has driven you to give up hope might just have a possible answer and cure from depression or what ever else you are struggling with. You don't want to end up on the other side, finally enlightened to realize that one of us indeed had a good answer for you and yet you gave up hope too soon. If you could make the effort even though you've given up hope, to write us to find out how to commit suicide, then it doesnt take much more effort to write us with your situation so that you could possibly find a way to solve your problems or issues. I pray that you will give it a try to write in once more with what we need to really hear to have a chance at helping you, even if you believe there are no chances left. Even if you've decided theres no other option, what does it hurt to check one last time.

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i can touch butterfly without that butterfly fly it even touched my hand as well i even get friendly with wild animals like i touch my neighbour dog that so wild but it licked me and likes me and it happens to many time with manny wild animals

I believe animals as well as plant life are able to pick up on the energies of humans, our spirit, our aura. Even in my own family, we all were animal and nature lovers but that is not enough for animals that don't know you to trust you. I can't say what it is that animals pick up on but some like one daughter of mine have a gift to where all domesticated pets that normally dont take to strangers loved my daughter and even some wild animals. If you have this gift, enjoy it as not everyone can do it even tho they wish. One caution, if by chance any pet or wild animal decided to nip or bite you as they may do especially if in pain, hurting or sick, don't hide it from anyone and tell a parent if you are not an adult and go to see your Dr. to get a rabies shot.

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My skin is white but my thing is dark, which is kinda non-uniform... Any suggestions?

Guess what. Everyones genital area is some shade darker than the rest of their body. For some it is quite a lot darker. That is normal and no one is going to think you look weird or bad. Do not try to whiten the skin there. The skin of the genital area is extras sensitive to skin on other areas of the body and it is more easily damaged, torn, burned from applying something you shouldn't have. Give up that idea dear. Its not worth damaging yourself so you end up having skin problems or end up scarred for life or in excruciating pain for a long time, or damage your ability to have kids someday, etc. Its not worth it for vanitys sake.

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TO WHOM IT IS READING
FIRST, I MUST THANK FOR YOUR ATTENTION. I AM A HONG KONG STUDENT AND HAVE GOT A CHANCE TO GO ABOARD LEARNING IN THE USA. I AM POOR AND IT IS AN UTTERLY GREAT CHANCE FOR ME TO GAIN THE EXPEREINCE.
HOWEVER, WHAT I AM CONCERNING IS MY MUM WHOSE HUSBAND HAS DIED WILL BE LEFT ALONE AS I STEP AWAY. I HAVE TALKED TO HER FOR THOUSANDS TIMES, AND SHE HAS BEEN AGREEING TO LET ME GO, BUT WITH A FACE GRIEVOUSLY PAINTED. SHE ALSO SAID THAT IF I AM REALLY WORRIED WITH HER I CAN JUST STAY BEHIND AND IGNORE THE CHANCE. I KNOW SHE WILL BE MISSING ME SO MUCH AND I AM QUITE SURE THAT WITHOUT ME THE WOMAN WHO IS STEPPING 60S WILL DEFINITELY FEEL HOPELESS OR EVEN CRY PROVIDED NO RELATIVES HERE. I AM REQUIRED TO REPLY BY JAN 5 2016 BUT I FEEL REALLY DIZZY AND UNDETERMINED. I HOPE SOMEONE CAN HELP ME SORT THE BEST WAY OUT BY STATING ME THE PROS AND CONS, OR HIS OPINION. THANKS.
BECOMING CRAZY GUY
WIGZART

If I am to understand you correctly, you are the only child, your Dad or her husband has died. She has no living sisters or brothers or cousins and no friends. Is she ill and incaple of looking after herself? Does she require a caregiver and have you been doing that for her because if there is no medical reason for you to remain at her side or her being very ill and in danger of dying soon, then there is no reason for you to stay with her other than the fact she is going to be lonely. I understand feeling badly when she looks so lonely and like you are abandoning her. But there is another way to look at this.

It is possible that she never developed a life of her own other than immersing herself into living for her husband and child/children. The women who do this, feel a great loss when husband dies and their child becomes an adult and begins to move on into their adult life path. This is a natural process for you and must happen. Mom will need to learn how to develop other things of importance to take up her time now. This doesnt mean she'll never see you again. For you to give up your adult life to remain at her side only helps her to remain stuck and unable to move on. It also ruins your ability to really help her later in her older age if you did not go and get the best schooling and get the best job to help take care of her as she gets older. You will marry and have children to provide her with grandkids to love and once again have purpose and joy. But if you give up all your dreams for her starting right now, its very possible that you may never marry because Mom makes her sad face and always gets what she thinks she wants, for her to come first over what is best for her own adult child so that no spouse would stand for you putting them last in importance. A person can handle many people of differing levels of importance. So you can handle going after your dreams, opportunities, dating and finding a good job and marrying. But if she tries to make you feel guilty, then she is being selfish. I am a Mother with grown children and one I havent seen in 3 yrs as she isn't living close. I do talk by phone with her to keep in touch. Its not the same thing but I do have my own life and don't need my adult children hovering over me to keep me company. Even some moms who still have their husband are not happy when kids move away to follow their dreams. I would say to get the best phone plan you can get where you can make international calls that wont be too much cost and keep in touch with her. If she has computer, teach her before you go how to use Skype so she can type to you and see your face on screen. Encourage her right now to get involved in groups, and if she has no hobbies and groups she wants to join to make new friends, then how about volunteer work in soup kitchens, in hospitals, visiting sick children or the elderly, volunteering to help teachers at schools, and so many other things like that.
While you could perhaps go to school in your country and gain the same degree, this doesnt change Moms problem. Kids who go to colleges in their own town or some distance away but in same country in driving distance, may live and stay at the school they need to go to so even there the parents already have no child at home. Its not going to another country that is the problem dear, its that Mom is not willing to cut the cord and knows exactly what she is doing by making her sad faces and playing the guilt game with you. At some point, you may end up done with school and get a job offer far from home. Mom may not be willing to move and ask you not to take the job or perhaps ask you not to marry and start a family of your own because she'd feel left behind. She wouldn't be because she cant see far enough ahead to you having a chance to see a country you couldnt afford to go visit later after you finish school get a job and marry. Most young people who want to see some other place in the world do it by where they attend college or they go touring the world on a tight budget long before they settle down.
Just talk with her and let her know you love her and if you stay with her, there won't be a good future for you to be able to share with her later if you keep changing your plans to keep her company. Now I say again if shes very ill and not capable of taking care of herself, you'll need to check into agencies in your area that help take care of the sick or elderly and get her set up with that. Tell the school yes and then do what you need to make sure Mom has someone to look after her if shes not able to do so herself. Otherwise, go to the US and start your life. I know all about honoring the parents and this is not one of those cases as far as I believe, because a parents currents wishes that they may want you to honor may just kill their very future with you. If being parted for a while is what makes the difference in how comfortable a future you may be able to give her, then it is worth it. It is also worth it to you to follow your opportunities and dreams so that you dont remain behind and become bitter or upset over what you gave up due to the guilt she placed on you because it can lead to you becoming irritated with her and treating her less than nice due to how you feel. We cant see that coming up ahead but a good example is people who marry but are guilted into changing who they are to keep the person in their life to marry them. However the one who had to give up things and change themselves becomes bitter and it breaks up marriages. If it can do that, theres the chance that you allowing Mom to dictate what choices you make as an adult can come between you and her in the future. You can handle it now but as you see others who have come back from school in other countries, you might feel cheated and have regrets and begin to be angry with her for what you have lost and can never regain. ANd having that kind of resentment come between you and your Mom is something that will hurt her a lot longer than the short time you were away. This would hurt your relationship possibly for the rest of her life. Thats what you need to think about.

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What can a nursing mother use to gain wieght

I nursed 3 kids and never had to gain or lose weight. All I did was in the first couple months after giving birth, I ate healthy snacks in between meals if I became hungry. And I made sure to eat a well balanced diet. After giving birth, I was only 10 pounds away from my normal pre pregnant weight as almost all of it was baby and water weight. So if anyone is complainin to you that you are too skinny to be breast feeding, its a bunch of balony. If you have a high metabolism, you just won't put on extra weight and its not the weight on you thats healthy for baby but what you eat. So for healthy snacks, I made muffins made with shredded carrots and zucchini, I had apple slices with peanut butter on them or some other fruit and I'd eat this middle of night if hungry while up feeding a newborn. As your baby gets older and starts eating some cereals but still nursing, you keep eating your usual diet but don't overeat cus its all gonna settle on you and it doesnt give baby any extra nutrition. Theres only so much nutrition in every meal you eat. The daily nutritional needs for baby depending on baby eating regularly and eating well and keeping it down and you eating twice as much is not going to change things for baby. Look at the skinny nursing moms and the over weight ones and you'll see no malnourished babies. Most babies are either going to look roly poly or skinny, depending on what is in the genes from parents or grandparents at that age. I had one chubby babe and two skinny ones. The skinnies were well within healthy range according to Dr. So unless Your Dr. has told you that you need to gain weight and told you how, then don't worry about it.

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why do buddhist cover mirrors after a death

The most I know is the myth in belief systems that if one looked into a mirror after a death to see a reflection of the dead body or the coffin that someone else in the family would die. In some beliefs even being able to see your own reflection in a mirror right after a death meant that either you or a family member would die next. I can't say this is why a mirror is covered if its any particular case you know of as I have read that practices although similar can vary in many ways depending on the type of buddhism for example that is followed and there are many.
But I can say it is most likely due to a myth and a fear of death. I know that some people with psychic powers claim to be able to see images of spirits of those passed on, or ghosts but I have not seen anything on the internet yet to tell me it is linked to the reason for covering mirrors right after a death.

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Hello,

F/22
Little bit of a long story here. Me this guy through my dad, they happened to work together. I was 17 turning 18.. He was 26. Lets call him Pete. Well Pete also liked me, he would text me all the time and make sure I was doing well in school, hanging out once in a while.. My dad is super protective and of course my dad didn't know anything but he would always mess with my dad saying he would one day be his son-in-law. Well we lost contact, he got a gf got engaged and then things didn't work out and they parted ways. Years after that I saw him again and we were just talking and we kissed and odd enough that spark was still there. Every time I was around him it was like I was legit on cloud 9... And it would be like that for days. Then he would disappear again. Well in the process of all that I started dating. Saw Pete out one day and he wouldn't stop looking at me while I was talking to a couple of our mutual friends... He asked to see me before the night ended and told me that he would like something serious with me. Well I said it was something that I would totally have to think about... Night after that he texted me begging to leave my at the time boyfriend so that we could move in and have a family that that's all he wanted, how happy I made him by just being around. I again said I would think about. A week after that he is literally in a "committed" relationship with someone much older than him I was shocked... And even now while he is in a "committed" relationship he still always want to see me after the night is over and I don't get it.. I don't get what he wants and I have asked him what he wants from me and his answer is always the same "you" and then when I say its not that easy he always goes on a rampage... Not sure of what to do... Thoughts, advice, comments please

If I did my math right that makes him about 30 now. Thats enough time for him to have matured, gotten some perspective thru life experiences and have an good idea of who he is and what he wants out of life.
Sorry, but I don't see that happening with him. He reminds me of a big puppy dog, still tripping over his own paws, or feet in this instance.

It doesn't take any maturity or ability to make good decisions to fall in like or in love with a person or to be just attracted to on a sexual basis. Heck I find many guys attractive who may catch my eye but I am mature enough to know what I want in the character and personality as well of a guy and so I know that what I have now with my Husband is all that I need and will make me happy. We can't stop our bodys from reacting to someone of the opposite sex.
So my guess is that his body or heart or mind or all 3 react to a female and he jumps into relationships in and out just as easily as deciding what pair of socks you want to wear today. Theres no commitment needed or required to decide what you want to wear today, usually its just a whim, whatever makes you feel happy, is most warm for winter, or the practical color to go with an outfit. Socks need to fit your feet also but thats about it, nothing in depth about it.
So a relationship didn't work for him. I can understand that. Happens to many, me too. However, he was engaged. Who broke it off? Her? Is so, you only have his side of it either way. Would be interesting to know the reasons if she broke it off.
Theres only 4 yrs between your beginning age and now so it cant have been many many year before you saw him in kissed. So I am guessing at 2 yrs. So there was some sizzle, good...enough for gratifying sexual part of a relationship...maybe if you were to check that out further. However, solid relationships, the kind that end up in marriage require also that each other be the others best friend and all that makes a person a best friend. A best friend isn't afraid to be there for you, is always around and keeps in touch and doesnt disappear on you. You can count on them to respect you, love you just as you are, be supportive, helpful and wanting to shower you with attention and gifts of their time, attention, special acts of kindness and purchased gifts, the list goes on as to what makes a good friend. He is not acting anything like a friend at this point in your story by disappearing and not keeping in touch if he was even remotely interested in you at this point, the kind of interest to marry.
So you get into a relationship with another guy and then out of the blue he shows up? No explanation I assume for the silence and no contact on his part? Or I am guessing he tried dating others but was rejected too many times. He may be on the rebound possibly with the broken engagment and who knows what else he may have experienced since you saw him last. If no gal has been able to hold onto him or not been willing to hold onto him, that points to something seriously wrong in his makeup and character and possibly his psyche. He may not be good relationship material for any living female on the planet. This is exactly how my ex can be described. There are things seriously still missing and every gal he's dated since our divorce has left him. I was the dumb one who hung around too long before overcoming some fears to leave.

I could be off track but thats just something I felt I'd mention for you to give some thought to.
What is socially bad is that he knows you are dating someone and he is begging you to leave the guy. That is a nono many of us here tell young kids. Don't go after someone who is not currently available. If its meant to be for you to have a chance, wait until they are single again instead of dumping this emotional crap on them. He not only wants you to leave the boyfriend for just dating to get to know each other better but to jump into a marriage and live together!!! That is not the thinking of a rational man dear. trust me on this. A rational man will hang out with and date a gal to learn if beyond his sexual attraction there is anything else in common and if they can fall in love with everything about you or as I teach people, dating is the discovery period for 2 people to also learn if theres something they dont like about the other. If this man can so easily think to steal you away from another man, whats to say he wouldn't do that once you were married to him. The little things like this you see in a persons character are the warning signs of traits that exist deep down inside where there is a whole heck of a lot more of this kind of core values and morals etc. It isn't a fluke dear. I learned the hard way. I got the warning signs with my ex but I was around your age and still too inexperienced to see that his insistences that I do this or that was part of a controlling and verbally abusive behavior that would plague me the whole of my marriage. I simply thought it was his sweet exuberance and want and desire of me to be his gf and then his wife all within a couple weeks. If I were you, I would not leave the bf. Let that relationship go its natural course. If you are in love with the bf and he wants to marry and so do you, then do so. If at some point you both decide to part ways or you decide you can't imagine him being your husband and father of your children, then leave the bf. that now would leave you single again to date and if this crush is still available, only then are you ready to date him to discover more about him. I would date a questionable fellow like him 6 mos to a year before even deciding to marry him. If you decide to live with him, make sure you have a fall back plan of where you can go if it gets bad and you need to leave and have somewhere else to live. Living with a person means you discover even more about them and their character and habits that were easily hidable before. But my opinion is that his half hearted attempt at a somewhat marriage proposal to you and a week later being in a committed relationship later means there is definitely something wrong. I usually see females do this more often than men but Its possible the other way around. A person who struggles with a low self image can feel better about themselves if they are in a relationship because in their minds, it validates to them that they are at least of value to one person, someone other than a parent who is more likely to love him with all his faults. He may not have any other faults, just feels inadequate as a person, maybe as a male which is dangerous in a relationship as he can become jealous of you talking to any other man once married to him. He may see any other man as a threat and that he might lose you. this happens more often than you think and is a real concern. I am not making this up dear. I've lived long enough to see this over and over in many relationships of women I've known. The fact he feels the need to ask you to still be with him while he's dating another shows right there that he is unable to commit fully to any person. Its not that he's so in love with you that he hasnt given up on you yet, he only is feeling a lack of not having gf and not being in a relationship. For if he had really wanted just you, he would not have gone into another relationship a week later. If so in love with you that theres no one else on earth he can see himself loving, then he would be acting differeently and be willing to wait for you his whole life, even if you never become available and decide to go to him. My ex dodged my questions too. What do you want from me? I want you, that is no answer. It does not explain anything and either he knows something is wrong but is afraid to explore what that is and see a professional to get that taken care of or he doesnt have a clue that anything is wrong with him. More often than not, insecure people just want to go on oblivious of what traits or behaviors of theirs are holding them back in life or causing them serious problems in relationanships not just personal but with family and coworkers, anyone who sees him on a regular basis. The one who suffers and sees the problems first are usually the mate or person he lives with, and next often who sees a person is coworkers and boss. Is he able to hold a job without continually losing it. My ex has a long history of losing jobs, not because he didnt show up or did his job wrong but I now know it is something in his behavior that puts everyone off. He is incapable of getting along nicely with anyone and being truly friendly and caring and helpful, etc. These are all my impressions dear. If you are ever in a position to be single and date him, I would be Extremely Cautious hon, this guy could turn out to be a disaster.

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Thank you for replying to my pervious question "should I tell her that I have a crush on her?" I completely understand what you were saying before. This is why I am asking for help with this...I really like this girl and I don't want to end up hurting each other if this didn't work out if she and I decided to become an LDR. I like our friendship but also I like to give it a try.

I told her a few days ago that I have a crush on her...

I sent her message on Facebook

I feel like I can tell you anything, you're like my best friend! I want to tell you that I have a crush on you.

She replied: Well I'm glad you've been honest. Who knows what happens in the future?!

And we still continue to talk everyday...

I'm nervous...I never had a girl that we both were interested in each other at the same time...

All I want to do is send her love lettters by mail! lol

What should I do from here?
This is new to me...I never had a serious relationship ...only been in love with my ex friend for 16 years...unrequited love.

Her line: Who knows what happens in the future, is a sign to you that she is not on the same page as you yet. You will have to be careful to not over analyze and due to the desire of your heart, see things that aren't there. I do agree that she sounds like a great friend tho.

Here's a question to ask yourself: Just what if nothing more comes of this than an long distance friendship instead of the love relationship I truly seek. Am I willing to wait around another 16 years hoping that a friend I was in love with might change and return that love. If I were you, I would change what I am doing, especially if deepest desire of your heart is to find a female to be in a long term love relationship with and perhaps even marry. The reason I feel you shouldn't be getting your hopes up with someone who right from the start doesn;t feel anything more than friendship is because it usually doesnt change. Its worse when you go for what seems like the easier safer route and go for meeting people on line long distance.

I want to clarify that I am not against using the computer to meet people. I did that. But it should be used only as a tool to get to learn of their existance and then take it out of cyber into real life ASAP. Why? I found that even in just talking with guys for a week or two before meeting in person that my mind filled in the gaps I didn't know and imagined there to be more than there was to him and its easier for the other person to hide things from you which happened to me, lies until I met and discovered they weren't who they claimed to be. I come across totally different in real life than I do on line, even here in advicenators. I may sound like I really know how to word things and teach people but in real life, tho outgoing and talkative, I ramble and get sidetracked in speech and just by looks no one would guess at who I really am by just what little they've picked up from my typing. I know that. And I know it probably happens for lots other people. Another thing hard to do is gain trust in someone you are not in real time and real life with. Then lastly, I found some guys I thought were really promising, he and I were both so excited to meet and yet when we met up at the restaurant, before we were even seated, we turned to each other and said, this isn't going to work out, is it? See, what happened is that no matter how wonderful the other is, when face to face, neither of us picked up on pheremones from the other that were enough alike or a match to feel any attraction or that sizzle and romance. I was of course older with a bad past marriage behind me and lots of experience so I knew how important it was to not only have a partner who is like one of my closest or my best friend but the romantic part and being each others sexual equal is just as important.

Now I don't recommend letting her go and forgetting her. Just keep her as a close friend right now. But I feel it's high time you got your feet wet, so to speak and experienced some real love relationships with another female, not LDR but in real life, just dating to gain experience and more of an idea of exactly what it is you are looking for in a mate. It doesnt matter whether hetero or gay, couples still need the same thing, matching pheremones, a person who loves who you are on the inside, not just the outside, unconditional love, respect, trust, a partner who supports and upholds who you are without requiring you to change anything about yourself to be a better match for them. If one of those is missing, then its not going to be a very fulfilling love relationship. I should know as thats what my first marriage was like.

In todays world, I feel it is very hard to find a person just by being out and about in your regular routine. I do know there are dating sites for whatever situation you find yourself in. Dating for senior citizens, dating for LGBT, dating sites for those with Herpes, etc. and of course some of the regular sites have options so you can list your sexual preference and only women can look you up. Nothing may come of it, but it is certainly a way to go about starting the dating process. You didn't say, but if you are bi sexual and would date either sex, then a regular site where you list yourself as such is a good way to go, and then look up both gals and guys. Important here is the fact you can list how far away a person can be where you'd still consider traveling to meet. Since my beleif is that meeting in person should happen within a couple weeks, or sooner, dont list any further than you want to drive. I only listed 50-60 miles away so I wouldn't have to drive more than an hour to get to see the person. If you hit it off with someone but because of your job schedules or school, the little times available to see each other are eaten up by travel time with no time left to be together, its not worth it. I do recommend trying a dating site, even if just to date for social reasons. The reasons too are listed as to what you are looking for. Sometimes people only list they want sexual encounters only, nothing serious, or long term or marriage. See what happens. At the least, you will gain some confidence and experience and perhaps you may still wind up with the 18 yr old for long term or life long. However she at 18, isn't likely ready to make such a permanent decision, not until people get to your age or just about 30, 31 do they really look at their lives and analyse who they are by their standards and not living up to what family or friends or society expects of them and making some of those life altering decisions that will now stay part of their life til the end. Few teens are the same then as they are as a person by lets say 40 or 50.
I was close but I still had some major things to learn so I was an exception to that. But she may not be ready for that kind of commitment for a long time and there's no guarantee she will decide that you are the one for her.
You however have learned through this experience with her of something very important to you in a partner. You want someone who will always be there for you, and be strong when you are weak, understanding, non judgemental, helpful, a good listening ear, willing to offer their perspective without demand you follow it, supportive and willing to accept you just as you are. I have all that in my mate. So it is very important and unfortunately, not all people are like that. Sometimes are to find but there's definitely more than one or two out there. Those hon, are things you need to put down on an actual list, paper or saved doc on the computer, things you require in a mate. Most people who are smart enough to make such a list update it over and over many times, as many times as they are in one relationship after another until breaking up. The things you liked about the latest person get added to the list, and the things you've learned you actually can not abide, and won't put up with go on the list of what are the deal breakers. If a person makes a mistake the first time and you advise them you will not be treated like that ever again or its over, then either it was truly an error and things improve or the person eventually repeats their offense and again and again. Either you lower your standards and accept that which doesnt make you happy, irritates 24/7, or is actually harmful to you, or you end the relationship, put that behavior on the list of deal breakers and move on. Many people who have dated since H.S. will by now have such a list that is pretty good and helpful to look at when comparing whether a person is right for you or not so you dont get distracted by just looks, their money, or their smile. You however haven't even started. But there is your age of 28, where you are more mature and the part of your brain that is responsible for good decision making wasn't fully developed in your teens and early twenties. It is finally mature by peoples mid 20s so you are at a perfect age to make some good decisions on a relationship and its not going to take you years of experience but it will take some short term dating experiences with different people, not just one. I hope I haven' confused you with sharing so much but I feel its all important stuff for you to hear and think about. Good luck and thanks for writing again.

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I 'm confused about my situation... I don't know what to think and I'll like to ask for someones opinion. I have a online crush...We've met on a support website, she was my listener on 7 cups of tea.com an anxiety and depression site. At the time I met her I was going through a break up and I needed someone to talk to. She was very helpful and a good adviser with my situation. Few weeks later we exchanged our Instagram and then later our facebook. One day I told my crush:

I am grateful that I've meet you. You understood me from the beginning and knew exactly what to say. I like that! Lol I love to talk...about anything! And if someone can keep up with my Gemini side it is a major plus! It is nice to share many things with someone who would listen and communicate. If we lived near each other I would totally ask you out lol

Her reply:
Me too. Haha well I am always here to talk, to share things, even when things aren't going so well.. I'm always here haha!! Well it's a shame I'm on the other side of the world!!

She lives in the UK...

When she sent me her reply I had to ask her what is her sexuality...
she said "Well, so far I've been In two relationships with guys. But I haven't met anyone who I know I want a future with. And I wouldn't mind if it was a guy or a girl, as long as they made me happy. Does that make sense?"
Although, she doesn't lable herself and she is finding more about herself...
We've been talking everyday since I sent her that complement. I asked her that we should video chat sometime and she was willing to face time asap.
She and I face time twice, I called her first and the next day she called me. There were alot of shy smiles and laughing. Giving each other complements and being kind to one another. We clicked very well, talked about anything that was on our mind. As of now we've been talking everyday.

I have no clue what are her intentions with me, as far as I know now we are just friends.
I really like her but I don't know what to think of this...
It's a shame that she lives in the UK. And btw she is 18.... i
I'm 28 year old lesbian moving on from my first love and ex best friend.
And my crush is aware of my past heart breaks...because I vented to her before we befriended on facebook.

Should I tell her that I like her or is she just being a kind friend?

If she was just being a kind friend as you worded it, and that was her only feeling there, then my impression would be that she is not being kind at all, that she is toying with you and leading you on if not really serious. Do you really think thats what she is doing? And does what you think about any situation in your life in the past always turn out as you thought? Life has lots of surprising twists and turns and ending results that you cannot predict just by mulling over some facts. To know the end result here, you need to ask. Ask if she's just being nice or is she really serious because you are beginning to have deeper serious feelings for her.
Notice I said "beginning to" rather than I am in love, because when confessing feelings to someone who has only said they'd go out on a date with you, that' s jumping the gun for them, a little too soon and can be so scary that they shut down and stop communicating or seeing a person. I got that off a online dating and relationship advice program. It makes sense to me. Dating and hanging out is to find out just how much 2 people have in common and whether there are things one can not tolerate in the behavior of the other when it comes to real life living together forever. All people are nice and on their best behavior starting out and when relaxed and feeling they have caught the other person, both males and females will let their real self begin to show through the mask and often what one then see's is something they will not compromise on. That will be one of the challenges of an LDR because there is so much you cant experience and see through a computer screen. If all goes well, I would suggest you make a trip to visit her and if that goes well, she also makes a trip to see you and then you have at least 2 times of being together to decide if you want to proceed with the big step of one moving to be with the other. The love has to be very strong as in not just someone who makes you happy but also being so totally in love that you don't want to be apart for a person to be willing to make those sacrifices of moving and finding work in a new country, let alone whether the governments will give the clearance to allow for one of you to immigrate.

In general, my own experience included, LDR's for the most part do not turn out positive unless the 2 already knew each other in person before the need to part due to separate colleges or one going into the service which are the most common reasons. I would also like to remind you that some people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I've seen that on Facebook and it totally makes sense. But we can get confused in the moment. There was a man after my divorce who I thought fit the lifetime catagory as in for the rest of my life. By time I got to a certain point in the relationship, and able to look back, I realized that He had only come into my life for a reason and season. The reason was to help me heal from an abusive marriage and give me confidence that I was a wonderful desireable female. It didn't turn out to be the forever I thought as his ex wanted him back and he decided to give that another try due to the history they already had together. It hurt greatly at the time but now I know better that it was only meant for a reason to meet. Perhaps for you, it was also for a reason or a season and not meant to be for a lifetime. Only time will tell but keep that in mind as you go along dear and I wish you good luck and happiness in life.

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Since I first wrote the 'So there's this boy...' advice pieces, the liking for the boy has only gotten stronger. I like him soooooo much. Every time I look a him it is like my heart is breaking. How do I know if he likes me. He has given me some reasons as to think this, but how can I be sure? We text fairly often, whenever we are both online, and he is constantly looking at me at school. I am quite close with his best friend, and he seems to think that he likes me or will like me if he knows that I like him. Is there a chance with him? If so, how do I know?

I like to play "switch places" to help you see the answer yourself. Hopefully this will help you. Think of some guy other than yours(I'll call him Josh)Would you be constantly looking at Josh and texting often with him if you weren't attracted to him and had no feelings or crush on him? Why would you waste your time? Just to be nice to some lonely guy cus you feel sorry for him? And would you want to risk him thinking you actually like him and feel some romantic feelings towards him when in truth he's kinda repulsive to you? Nope, I don't think you or any other person would do that. Guys are the same and for the same reasons would not do anything to encourage a girl they don't like. So now you have your obvious answer, he does like you. As to whether his attraction to you is as strong as yours, it's not going to be obvious until you start spending regular time hanging out with him.

When we are young and rather inexperienced cus we're just starting thinking of dating with no prior experience in relationships, we tend to scare ourselves into not venturing forth and trying due to fear of making some serious mistakes that turn the other people off or for fear of rejection. What you need to think of is that your guy has just as much shyness and possibly fear of even trying to talk to you and ask to date or hang out as you would be feeling. Therefore, he will be very understanding of you being nervous as you try to speak to him too. Wouldn't you forgive him stuttering or even losing his train of thought when he tries to talk to you? So its a matter of who's braver first. Guys often do not ever take the first step until they are HS graduates or older due to these fears. So if you don't want to wait so long, best thing would be for you to let him know how you feel. I would advise though leaving out words like "Love" and "strong feelings" strong is often equated with love. the reason is, that a guy can be so scared off right at the start when a girl professes feeling something stronger than he feels. He knows he is interested but he needs time to get to know more about you, get used to you to see if he still feels the same later and if he does, then slowly the stronger feelings for the girl will replace the attraction and general feelings of liking.

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So I'm 19/f and I have an amazing boyfriend. He is literally so amazing to me and loves me and I love him too. But throughout our relationship, which has lasted for almost a year now, I think about this other guy I used to like. He's been my friend for a few years now and a little over a year ago I started to like him. He was negative sometimes, and he did somethings that I didnt like but I still felt that there was this light in him and I thought about him all the time and just liked him so much. But I always thought that it wouldnt work out cause I didnt want to ruin my friendship with him and I didnt feel he was mature enough to be in a relationship. Then I met my now boyfriend and hes just been so amazing and surpasses my friend tenfold in everything. But there are times that I miss him so damn much. And that ive thought about being with him and how i just want to hangout with him again and talk to him more. Even tho we didnt even talk a whole lot even before I got with my boyfriend. I dont think he even likes me in that way at all. But sometimes I just cant shake thinking about him and missing him. I barely talk to him anymore now that im in a relationship cause my bf wouldnt feel comfortable with it and I dont think itd be right of me considering I still have feelings for him. But I do talk to him sometimes still on holidays and birthdays. Anyways I just feel bad, I cant tell my boyfriend at all. Not at all. But I have these feelings and I just dont know what to do. Im not going to leave my bf and im not going to tell him either. Ive lied to him too when hes asked me if ive ever had thoughts about another guy or if I ever feel unhappy in our relationship. And I just idk Im not sure what im asking. Maybe I just want to get this off my chest and have someone tell me what to do or something. I dont want to give up talking to my friend, i dont want to break up with my bf and I deff do not want to tell him. Am I a horrible person? I love my bf and I dont have these feelings all the time but sometimes I do and I just dont know what to to! Anyway sorry for the babbling, and thank you to whoever took the time to read this. Please help me! Tell me something, give me some advice! Thank you!

The way I understand it, you not only have feelings for your boyfriend but have feelings for the male friend.But if you are being realistic, in the world we live in, monogamy seems to be the most common relationship makeup especially in the states. But I do know of people who can have feelings for more than one person, and theres a few of those, polygamy, polyandry and polyamory. The first is one man with many lady loves who do not have other men. The second is one woman with many male loves who do not have any other women. And the last is where both partners in a relationship have love partners other than their core relationship. Well, there's open marriages too. This works for some people but it takes having your stuff together way more than for one relationship and ones partner might not feel the same way. I am not saying this is your answer as the boyfriend sounds monogamous. You are only 19. If you feel the same in 15 yrs, maybe then explore it. But I'd be open with any man you tend to marry and let him know if you feel yourself still at least curious about such a relationship. For example, picture yourself being okay with your bf or husband having another female he openly loves and you know about. If you can be okay with that, you may be poly. But at your age, you still need to learn how to handle one relationship successfully so adding others in is not really an option even if you had a bf okay with it. It is okay to have fantasies and think about others, even during sex, but as to having the full relationship with this other friend, from what you say, there are too many reasons he would never make a good substitute for who you have now. Perhaps what you have is really only an emotional tie and sometimes, the subconscious mind isn't on the same level as your conscious mind and hasn't caught up with reality, living in the past. Our emotions live with our subconscious and often our subconscious can seem to be working against us. In this case you need to keep talking to yourself which in essense is talking to your subconscious mind, of course when bf isnt around to hear but telling it, Hey listen, Joe may still be our friend and as a friend its okay to care about him and love him as a friend. But I want you to know that he is not relationship material and I will not be getting back together with him on the side or leaving Mike to be with him. So you need to learn to not hope for more cus I don't want more. I don't want romantic feelings for him and I don't want to feel guilty about having any feelings so you need to get on the same page with me, that Mike is the one and only for me, not Joe. Joe will only be a male friend.
give yourself this pep talk often until your subconscious mind gets the picture. But I wouldnt say anything to the current boyfriend because this is not cheating and if he isn't totally open minded and realistic as to the ways of being human and if he is easily threatened as a male, then its best to not say anything and its hard to control our thoughts but as far as you really seeing someone else, you aren't so you shouldnt feel guilty. You are not horrible. This is just one of those situations of life that do happen often enough, its just most people don't talk about it and try to ignore it so you may feel you are so way out of line here and its kind of a normal occurence. So when your mind goes to think yearningly of old bf, capture the thought and replace it with, but Mike is so much better relationship material and I love him, so I don't need to think that way of Joe anymore.

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I'm 13 and I have a friend. She is really nice and I enjoy spending time with her, but she is completely obsessed with me. She follows me around everywhere and is constantly texting me. She is nice and all, but I need my space. Me and my best friend are trying to have a conversation, and she feels the need to know exactly what we are talking about, and in detail. She can't not know something about me and its starting to creep me out. She is always texting me. I know its quite mean, but sometimes I say that I have to go just to get away from her. I want to still be friends, but not that close that she basically stalks me. What should I do? She is also always touching me. She will grab onto my arm or hug me or whatever. This seems so weird to me. It may just be that I have bad personal space issues, but it really bugs me.

Some friends hug and it is normal for them. I have also known people brought up in homes where little affection and hugs were shown so it felt awkward and abnormal to them and made them feel uncomfortable. I know such people for whom it took years to get used to me. I dont know you whether this is the case for you or whether its just your personality and you don't like anyone, not just this girl in your personal space but everyone has a personal space wish. If a person came to stand one foot apart to talk to me, someone I dont know well, I'd feel uncomfortablle, for example. Some require others to be an arm length or more away and everything in between. I dont feel this is your issue, Its more something lacking in her life. She may be lonely, have no concept of what appropriate social behavior is or even have some kind of hard to see...social disorder. Due to the age, 13 or thereabouts, its more likely that awkward time of ones life when all is a learning process and she hasn't gotten the hang of it as easily as you. As the other person said, Don't use words like you are acting obsessive or clingy as it hurts and won't help her at all the change and adapt her behavior. Be sure not to use words like you make me feel, but instead personalize it and say "I feel crowded and stressed when I don't get enough breaks, time between my contact with each of my friends and time alone. This isn't for me just time hanging out but conversations with each friend. I dont always want to be in a group setting and share each conversation with each group member. I feel better having private conversations with you with no one else asking what we talked about, the same as I enjoy talking to Jodie and not having anyone including you asking me what we talked about. Don't worry, I have nothing to hide and am not talking about you behind your back. You also need to set limits to personal space. Tell her its the same for e veryone, you just don't feel comfortable with people touching you often, or at all, like touching your arm, holding hands or hugging. If you're okay with a hug goodbye when parting ways, then let her know your limit is just one goodbye hug. There is always a chance that she like many teens at this age are questioning their sexuality and because of her strong need for this friendship is interpreting her strong friendship feelings to be something more and is making overtures. Then again, perhaps she really is gay or bi and you are her main attraction. Even so, whether a guy or a girl, never giving ones object of desire their own space can kill a friendship by basically pushing a person away for want of space . I think it is best to just keep remindinng her. You might also try finding out what her home life is like. She may be ignored or not get love there and is attention starved. It would help give you perspective to know what other things in her life may be causing her to be this way. Then youd be in a position to say, I know how you are ignored at home and you need love and attention. thats important but I can't be the only source of all that you need. I will give you what time I can but then I expect you to allow me time to myself or to other friends and if you still have a need for attention, you'll need to get it from other people. If its that you dont have many friends, maybe I can help give you ideas how to find some new friends to add to your list of friends. Hopefully that helps you.

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I fall in love with a guy who loves feminim girls but I'm tomboy. How to be feminim and not tomboy?

I agree with all adviceman said. Your idea of a tomboy may not be a problem at all. Keep in mind we all have our personal preference on everything in life from foods, colors, fashion, hobbies, sports to what is attractive in looks.
Sure, a guy may look more often at a female with a certain size chest or longer or curlier hair and lots of makeup but that usually only happens with males when they are young or if they really don't care as they are older about finding a female to commit to for the rest of their life. In truth, there are plenty of males who steer away from todays media version of what a beautiful feminine woman is. This means many enjoy women without makeup or at least makeup that is too obvious and the same goes for overstyled hair that would be ruined if touched. The less a gal messes with hair and makeup, the better. Think about it. If I were a guy, I know I wouldn't want to get kissy with her for fear of having her lipstick and foundation all over my face in clothes and her mad at me for ruining her makeup. I want to be able to play with her hair, run my fingers though it without worrying about messing up fancy hairstyles. The plainer, the better. Guys prefer touchable hair, at least in my experience and enjoy the scent that the shampoo leaves. Wearing cologne: another nono in my books and not needed to be feminine. Again, this is all something one puts on that doesnt change your personalilty or character. A light scent is great but keep in mind once wearing it, your nose gets used to it and eventually you can't smell it anymore and assume a guy cant either so you reapply several times a day. At that point, those with sensitive noses or allergies or who get headaches easily from any strong scent will not want to spend time with you. Clothing: wear what looks good on you and what you prefer to wear. Go for colors that support your own color makeup from hair to eyes to skin color. If you wear something cus its popular and the only color sold on the racks it may not automatcally look good on you. Its bad if a person notices only the outfit but not you. You should be noticed with the outfit.
As to how to be feminine, if you are not gay and a dyke at heart, then you are feminine. Every female has their own brand of femininity. Some are more subtle and some more obvious. nEver change who you are to appear to be something you are not just to get a guys attentions. If he doesnt like you as you are, then he's the wrong guy for you. That or he's really young, hasn't grow up past the rubbernecking at model type girls and learned yet what his true personal preferance is in a woman. So depending on your ages, that may be a factor, in which case, you need to wait a few years for the males to grow up a bit and learn what they like. Heck, I am 57 and still get appreciative looks from males of all ages wherever I go. Mind you, not all men see me this way, only those who like the natural look, no fuss long hair, no makeup and regular jeans and pullover and boots I wear this time of year. Thsts it. I am feminine and they don't even know a thing about my personality yet.

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