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Should I tell her that I have a crush on her?
I 'm confused about my situation... I don't know what to think and I'll like to ask for someones opinion. I have a online crush...We've met on a support website, she was my listener on 7 cups of tea.com an anxiety and depression site. At the time I met her I was going through a break up and I needed someone to talk to. She was very helpful and a good adviser with my situation. Few weeks later we exchanged our Instagram and then later our facebook. One day I told my crush:
I am grateful that I've meet you. You understood me from the beginning and knew exactly what to say. I like that! Lol I love to talk...about anything! And if someone can keep up with my Gemini side it is a major plus! It is nice to share many things with someone who would listen and communicate. If we lived near each other I would totally ask you out lol
Her reply:
Me too. Haha well I am always here to talk, to share things, even when things aren't going so well.. I'm always here haha!! Well it's a shame I'm on the other side of the world!!
She lives in the UK...
When she sent me her reply I had to ask her what is her sexuality...
she said "Well, so far I've been In two relationships with guys. But I haven't met anyone who I know I want a future with. And I wouldn't mind if it was a guy or a girl, as long as they made me happy. Does that make sense?"
Although, she doesn't lable herself and she is finding more about herself...
We've been talking everyday since I sent her that complement. I asked her that we should video chat sometime and she was willing to face time asap.
She and I face time twice, I called her first and the next day she called me. There were alot of shy smiles and laughing. Giving each other complements and being kind to one another. We clicked very well, talked about anything that was on our mind. As of now we've been talking everyday.
I have no clue what are her intentions with me, as far as I know now we are just friends.
I really like her but I don't know what to think of this...
It's a shame that she lives in the UK. And btw she is 18.... i
I'm 28 year old lesbian moving on from my first love and ex best friend.
And my crush is aware of my past heart breaks...because I vented to her before we befriended on facebook.
Should I tell her that I like her or is she just being a kind friend?
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If she was just being a kind friend as you worded it, and that was her only feeling there, then my impression would be that she is not being kind at all, that she is toying with you and leading you on if not really serious. Do you really think thats what she is doing? And does what you think about any situation in your life in the past always turn out as you thought? Life has lots of surprising twists and turns and ending results that you cannot predict just by mulling over some facts. To know the end result here, you need to ask. Ask if she's just being nice or is she really serious because you are beginning to have deeper serious feelings for her.
Notice I said "beginning to" rather than I am in love, because when confessing feelings to someone who has only said they'd go out on a date with you, that' s jumping the gun for them, a little too soon and can be so scary that they shut down and stop communicating or seeing a person. I got that off a online dating and relationship advice program. It makes sense to me. Dating and hanging out is to find out just how much 2 people have in common and whether there are things one can not tolerate in the behavior of the other when it comes to real life living together forever. All people are nice and on their best behavior starting out and when relaxed and feeling they have caught the other person, both males and females will let their real self begin to show through the mask and often what one then see's is something they will not compromise on. That will be one of the challenges of an LDR because there is so much you cant experience and see through a computer screen. If all goes well, I would suggest you make a trip to visit her and if that goes well, she also makes a trip to see you and then you have at least 2 times of being together to decide if you want to proceed with the big step of one moving to be with the other. The love has to be very strong as in not just someone who makes you happy but also being so totally in love that you don't want to be apart for a person to be willing to make those sacrifices of moving and finding work in a new country, let alone whether the governments will give the clearance to allow for one of you to immigrate.
In general, my own experience included, LDR's for the most part do not turn out positive unless the 2 already knew each other in person before the need to part due to separate colleges or one going into the service which are the most common reasons. I would also like to remind you that some people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I've seen that on Facebook and it totally makes sense. But we can get confused in the moment. There was a man after my divorce who I thought fit the lifetime catagory as in for the rest of my life. By time I got to a certain point in the relationship, and able to look back, I realized that He had only come into my life for a reason and season. The reason was to help me heal from an abusive marriage and give me confidence that I was a wonderful desireable female. It didn't turn out to be the forever I thought as his ex wanted him back and he decided to give that another try due to the history they already had together. It hurt greatly at the time but now I know better that it was only meant for a reason to meet. Perhaps for you, it was also for a reason or a season and not meant to be for a lifetime. Only time will tell but keep that in mind as you go along dear and I wish you good luck and happiness in life.
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Hey there!
Be patient with me, i'm new to this!
I'm sorry about your past experiences, break-ups are always hard even if they are for the best.
I'm glad you seeked advice and help with your anxiety! Nobody should have to deal with that alone.
From her response to your message, she seems pretty happy with what you said about her and wishing she was close to you, and obviously noting that she would be happy with a male or female that could make her happy. She sounds pretty interested in my opinion, obviously the time difference sucks, my family live back in the UK, I live in AU.
And a long distance relationship can be hard, but if you are committed then you will make it work together.
Seeing people face to face is a great way of getting to read people, it sounds to me that it went well, if you're still talking to them then that's and amazing result. Be confident, she knows a lot of your past, if she didn't care she wouldn't still be here.
I hope I could help.
DanSkittles13, 23, AU.
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