about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Hi I'm 13 and i have trouble reaching an orgasm, I've tried a bunch of times And I never succeeded. I Masturbate with a four-inch rounded tip marker And my electric toothbrush. Do u have any tips in how I can reach an Orgasm?!

sillyrob may be a bit abrupt but is correct. The ability to fully climax comes with age. While you may be going through puberty and feeling some of the effects of puberty. Not all the effects of puberty have taken hold. Not all the chemicals needed to fully be a women have been released.

Yes your breast may be forming and you may have gotten your first period. There is still a lot more changes to come. You are feeling the first stages of sexual awakening. By not yet releasing some of the other chemicals and mother nature is playing a dirty trick on you and others your age. You feel sexual frustration but you just can't fully satisfy it yet.

The only advice I can give you is to try and relax. When you do masturbate find a nice quiet place where you will be comfortable, not intruded upon and hopefully not disturbed. Then relax and let yourself go don't try to force it. When it happens, and it will. it will knock your socks off. You just need to get a little older.

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I have a huge question I'm a married man and I wanna know something is possibille to have sex in the ass then to go strait to the vagina without a girl getting any type of infection and how can I do this without her getting infection?

Short answer is no you cannot do that. You can go to vagina to anus with no problem but you cannot go from anus to vagina without stopping and washing up with hot soapy water and if using a condom putting on a fresh new condom after washing.

Speaking of condom usage; the male should use a condom for anal sex or he runs the risk of a urinary infection. If during foreplay his partner scratches or in some manner injures the skin of his penis the germs in the anus could cause an infection to enter his body through that area. The vagina is a far more hospitable environment and less likely to cause a problem for that scratch or abrasion.

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So there was a rodeo me and my friends went to and we had been trying to stay the night there and if we couldn't my friend would drive us home. So we found out that could stay and the friend didn't seem Like she wanted to stay. She went home my phone dyed and she came back the next day and I didn't know and she found my sister and told her rude stuff about me and then my sister yelled at me and the stuff my friend said wasn't true Ana I told her that and she won't believe me and now there hanging out

What is your question? Please reread what you have written it is very confusing and there is no question I can see.

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21/f

I was dating a guy for 4 months and I asked him whether or not if we were exclusive. He finally admitted that he saw us as a fling and that he liked what we had and would rather continue to it even though he did not see a potential relationship in the future. I sent him a long message (for closure for my own benefit), it was everything. Everything that we had difficulty communicating and all of my thoughts, I also told him at the end that I was not willing to be a side until he found what he wanted.

Since that day, he kept trying to talk to me as if nothing happened. I barely responded to him and I was wondering if he didn't understand the point of it all. Three days ago, he messaged me telling me that he missed me and to "not convince myself that he doesn't care about me." I read it and went to sleep.

The day after he messaged me at work as if everything was normal and he tried working out the issues with me that I sent in my "closure message." I honestly did not see a point in trying to work things out and he asked me why I always had a wall up when I was with him, and I told him my story and why my wall was up. He told me that he used to feel distant from me because of it. I told him that one day, I hope to see or find someone who's worth putting my wall down for. And he told me that he wanted to stay around regardless of my wall being up, even though it made things difficult at times.

Today, he told me that he wanted to see me and he asked if I wanted to see him and I got a bit frustrated. I told him that I have told him before that I was not going to be on the side and that I had more respect for myself than that. I told him that I obviously do, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of seeing him. He said he understood and that he'll wait until I ask to see him. I told him that if he was expecting me to act the way I was a few weeks ago, I'm not going to. And that I'll see him after I've completely moved on and that if he was expecting my wall to come down for him, it's not going to because he's messed up his chance. And he told me, "okay, I care for you." And sent me a kissy face.

I'm so confused. I thought I clarified it to him already. What is he doing?

I would suggest that if you are sure you are absolutely through with him, you stop answering his texts. By doing so you are in a sense giving him a message that you are in a manner of speaking still interested in him.

I realize in polite society it is not polite to ignore or not answer someone who texts you. Before the advent of social media and the smart phone we communicated by phone and letter. If someone wrote to us and we did not want to communicate with them we just marked the envelope return to sender and the post office sent it back. You can't do that with a text message. The only alternative is to block him and or not respond. Eventually he will get the message.

I'm sure you did make yourself clear to him in you first message. He is the one who is confused because you continue to answer his messages. By doing so you are being polite yes, though also sending the wrong message to him. From here on out if he texts you again just delete it and ignore him. DO NOT ANSWER HIM.

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First of all I'm a 16 year old girl. Ever since I was 10 I've always been the antisocial type who hides away in her room reading or watching tv or whatever. I've always liked celebrities and book characters, but that's only normal right? But recently I've actually been sexually attracted to them. This will sound strange but I masturbate to fanfictions and pictures of my favorite celebrities/characters (The Doctor from Doctor Who is an example of one). And I spend ALOT of time watching the shows that they're in or reading the books they're in. I've always been antisocial, but I've also always had a healthy relationship with my interests until now. This didn't start up until I moved away from all of my friends a few months and started to get lonely, maybe this has something to do with it? What's wrong with me?

Relax your normal. There is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies especially while masturbating. In fact try masturbating without fantasizing or viewing pictures of people you would like to have sex with; it is almost impossible. The only time this would be wrong is when masturbation becomes all encompassing to the exclusion of everything else in your life.

I also think you do not understand the words antisocial properly. You had friends until you moved. Now you are having a hard time making friends. People who are antisocial usually do not have any friends. You lost yours not because you are antisocial but because you moved; big difference.

Teenagers at your age find it harder to make friends then when you were say 8 or 9. The problem in making new friends, especially in high school, is if you're new to the school you are the odd person out. The other kids have all grown up together and formed friendships that go back to elementary school. These friendships with minor exception are not life long friendships for as soon as high school is over we all take off for college, the military or work. We are all forced into making new friendships.

For now the best way I know to make new friends in a strange place is to find common interests. How you do that is actually very simple. You sit down with pen and paper and write down all the activities that you like to do. You say you like to read so you put that down. Maybe you like to knit, cook, go hiking, garden or anything else that you enjoy cooking. Then you could also include volunteer activities you may want to do and your churches youth group activities.

Once you have this list number them in order of interest from high to low. Take the top 4 or 5 and look to see what activities there are in or out of school that you can join. You like reading so a book club or the drama club may be something of interest to you. Once you join these activities you have a common interest with which to talk to people. Once you are talking they get to know you and you them. Before you know it you have made a friend.

Try this; I have made this recommendation many times and have received back many replies that it works.

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Basically like 3 days ago I had sexual intercourse with my ex honestly I feel fucked up I feel like he's only nice to me till he gets what he wants and I'm the biggest idiot ever to go ahead and have sex with him. I feel used and hurt right now cause I know he doesn't want anything serious.. It's like whenever we speak it's sexual. We've been friends since we ended like over 2 years ago but we've only had sex twice since the breakup I honestly don't know what to do cause I feel like I'm emotionally and physically attached I feel so used I wanna cry cause I knew what I was getting myself into I don't know what to do

Your EX is the ass as he see's you as a friend with benefits that when all else fails and he horny he can go to. To me this make him an ass for he is using you because he knows you are still attached to him.

Anyone that uses other people for any reason sexual or otherwise is the person that is screwed up. Yes you have the right to feel used because you have been and that is wrong but not of you. It is easy to say you have to stop allowing him to use you, it is harder to actually do it. We all know what it is like to be physically and emotionally attached to someone who doesn't want us.

Separating ourselves from someone both physically and emotionally is sometimes more than a person can do on their own. You have had two years to do so and still remain emotionally attached to him. I believe you would benefit from seeking the help of a counselor to help you find the reason why you cannot emotionally cut yourself from him. Your employer or your parents employers medical insurance may have an EAP program. This program will allow you a certain number of visits, generally fully paid for, to a psychologist for help with problems like this.

There is no shame in seeking this kind of help. Until you fully cut the ties to this guy you will never be able to have a full and rewarding relationship with someone else. These visits are totally confidential. No one but you and your therapist will ever know what is discussed.

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Hi! I was just wondering if I could where a push up bra? I DO NOT want to be slutty with it I just really want more support because my boobs are a bit bigger then most girls ( my bra size is a 36A) and how do I ask my mom with out her freaking out? Please help and please no hate

My Cousin at one time was the Vice President of sales for a leading manufacturer of lady's wear. I have asked him in the past for help with these type of questions and his answer was that the first step in buying any bra is to be properly fitted. They have found that close to 90% of all women wear the wrong bra's because the have never been properly fitted. This is why most women complain about their bra's being uncomfortable.

It appears you are just starting into puberty and your breasts are growing. What you need is a properly fitted training bra and instructions how to increase the cup size as your breast grow.

Every manufacturer and major department store have fitters that can help you make the proper choice in which bra's to chose. Of course the manufacturers fitters are going to steer you to their products but you do not have to purchase their product once you know what to buy.

What I suggest is you or mom call a local department store such as Lord and Taylor, Macy's or JC Penny and find out when their bra fitter is going to be in the store and make an appointment to be fitted. You may have to be refitted as your breasts grow. This is good for you will be assured of a properly fitting bra that will give you the proper support and flatter your figure. Depending on your breast size you may never need a push up bra. Being a guy I've never worn a bra but I have been told push up bras can be very uncomfortable.

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Hi! Befor u get all upset about my question I just want to say that I have been masturbating for about 2 years now, and I want to ask my mom for a dildo or a vibrator but she will start to freak out and yell at me so how do I ask with her not yelling at me? Please help! Ps I am 12

You have asked a very good question. You are most likely correct if you go to your mother and ask her to buy you a vibrator she will freak out. Why she will freak I cannot say? Why parents don't want their children masturbating is a long story. Shortened to the Readers Digest version is parents believe that if children are told it is okay to masturbate it will lead to full on sexual intercourse.

Possible yes but more likely it will keep children from venturing into full sexual intercourse as they can relieve the sexual tension brought on by puberty at home in the comfort and confines of their bedroom. In fact it is hypocritical of most of us parents to say anything against masturbation to our children for most of us did so as children.

In fact according to a recent survey 85% of the population masturbate. In a family of 4 this would mean 3.4 members of the family masturbate. Your parents masturbate if only during foreplay which is called mutual masturbation.

Masturbation in young teens is healthy for it allows for a safe way to relieve the sexual tension brought on by puberty, especially in the early stages of puberty. In the early stages of puberty the new hormones are going to cause the teenager to have more sexual tension then in later years as the body adjust to the hormones of sex. Hence the term horny.

Masturbation is safe and convenient as it can be done in the confines of one's bedroom, shower or bath. For a teenage girl masturbation allows her to withstand the advances of young males who are also looking to relieve sexual tension.

Have I addressed your question? In a manner of speaking I a have. I have provided you with reasons why mom should buy you a vibrator. To just ask mom for one probably won't fly. She will most likely give the parents story of masturbation being a sin, it is not in any religion. It may not be condoned but it is not a sin. She may give you the old wives tale of going blind or growing hair in the palm of your hand, not true also.

You have to go to your mom with mature reasons why she should buy you a vibrator. The fact that 85% of the population masturbate is a good start. This was found in a recent sex survey of people ages from teenaged through 65 years of age. Sexual tension, like all tension must be relieved and masturbation is the best way for young people to do so. No teen has ever become pregnant form masturbation.

You are going to have to be prepared to argue your case to your mother. When I say argue I do not mean yelling, I mean calmly explaining with facts researched to explain your point.

The alternative is to find an older person to purchase one for you and then hide it from your mother. This is a solution I do not support for mom will find it and them you will have an argument over it.

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Hi my right side hurts when I masturbate. I noticed it hurt yesterday when I went to masturbate, I masturbate with a 4inch marker and my electric tooth brush. When I stick the marker about 3 1/2 inches in my vagina my right side starts to hurt. I pounded my pussy a couple days ago is that why its hurting? Do u have any Suggestions that will keep it from not hurting? Or can I take a pill or something? Or is it because I pounded my vagina too hard? Please help!

None of us are doctors so a diagnosis is not something we can give you. When people masturbate to climax; many more muscles tighten then just the sexual organs. It is possible that you strained the muscles on your right side during an intense orgasm. I know I have had very painful muscles pulls which have ruined many masturbations sessions when I was young.

There is not any over the counter medication you can buy that will stop muscle pulls. I'm told that low potassium can cause muscle pulls and eating a Banana a day which is high in potassium can help reduce muscle pulls.

It would be better if you stuck to the marker or found something that better resembled a penis to masturbate with. The toothbrush while it does give off a vibration can also hurt the interior of your vagina depending on its length. The average depth of a vagina when sexually excited is 6". If your tooth brush is longer than this you could be rubbing against your cervix and this is not good for two reasons.

1. Your vaginal has a certain PH level it maintains. Your mouth has a different PH level. Your toothbrush is a vehicle to mix these two levels. Plus the mouth has germs that should not be in your vagina. I understand about oral sex but this does not put the germs deep within your vagina the way your toothbrush may be doing.

2. The rubbing of your cervix by the toothbrush could cause a raw spot with which the germs from the mouth could settle in and cause an infection.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation. In fact it is even considered healthy in that it relieves sexual tension in a safe and healthy way. When masturbating there are a few more rules for the female since her sexual organ is internal. The most important one is to be very careful what you put in your vagina and make sure it is clean and not used by any other female. STD"S can be transmitted through the exchange of sex toys so be careful what you put in your vagina.

Other than that relax, take your time and allow yourself to explore your body while masturbating. Try eating more Bananas’ to see if it will help heal and reduce the muscle strain.

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hi
i had sex with my girlfriend using condum.but after a day she is having urination and itching problem.is this a symtom of pregnancy.i just want to avoid if it is like that.any medicine prefered.what to do ?.

No these are not symptoms of pregnancy. What they are symptoms of are a Urinary tract infection or an allergic reaction to the latex condom. She needs to see a doctor.

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A few months ago I started to talk to a guy online and we were talking about having a relationship. About a month ago I abruptly stopped talking to him because I was slightly suspicious if he was legit. A week later, I was alone at my house when a man rang my doorbell and when no one answered, started to look in the windows. He didn't have a car with him. Yesterday, a car stopped in front of my house for at least two minutes. I don't know if I should report this because I'm a teen and I'm pretty scared.

I would do two things.

First: I would tell your parents so they are aware and keep an eye out as well. It may be nothing or it may be something. Today you cannot be too careful. It could be a stalker or it could be a potential burglar which is why you must also must do the second.

Second: Make a police report. This allows the police to know what is happening in a neighborhood. They will alert the sector car to the report and ask the sector car to be on the alert when near your house.

You may not be aware of local burglaries which of course the police are. If this is a burglar looking for his next target this will alert them. If it is a stalker they will be alerted to look for him.

Either way you look at this it is best you do both for your own safety and peace of mind. Once you make the report if you see that car stopping in front of your home again call 911 and report it. The police will try and catch it before it leaves the neighborhood. Give the 911 operator as much information as you can without endangering yourself.

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Okay, so I'm male, 5'7, 105-110 lbs, 14 years old, and my grandma just will not stop talking about it. This morning I was getting food and she started making more food and saying I had to eat it all, and I said I wasn't that hungry. She got mad and said I had to eat it because she knew I never ate anything and she threatened to call some fake organization she made up and tell them I'm not eating.

I finally did snap and get really mad. I pounded my fist on the table and yelled, "I DO eat!" She sat there and watched me eat, and when I left she accused me of going to throw it up. WTF? I'm not bulimic.

Now she's ignoring me and saying that she's just the warden. I said "I love you." to her and she just laughed. What do I do? :(

If by chance your grandmother is looking at the same height and weight chart I am. Then according to this national chart depending on your Skeletal frame size you are anywhere from 20 to 40 pounds underweight.

That chart is based on a National average. Meaning that is the average between the lowest and highest within each frame size. The person whose advice or opinion really counts is your doctor. What does your doctor say about your weight? When was the last time you had a complete physical?

If it has been more than a year or if you have not had a physical since your period started it is a good idea to have one. Physicals are generally painless even the female part of the exam. The blood draw is about the most painful part and that last only a second or two.

During the physical ask your doctor how she or he feels about your weight. If your doctor is not concerned ask the doctor to talk to grandma. I would hope grandma would listen to the doctor, after all the doctor went to medical school and should know about these things.

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I have an elderly neighbor who feels that he needs to dictate what everyone does with their property. Once he tried to have my truck towed because he didn't like it parked on the street. Now he called the city inspector out to look at a car under my carport. It didn't have up to date tags. I'm on a budget and expecting my first child in Sept. So yes, I didn't update my tags but thought the car would be fine under my carport on private property. This man has been a bully for years to other neighbors. How can I deal with this ignorant man?

The other two advisors gave some good advice. I can only add that you could call the county or city department of aging and talk to them about him. His constant nagging on neighbors could be he is lonely and this is his only way of getting attention.

The department of aging should come out and evaluate if he is still capable of living on his own, if he does live on his own as you do not say. Whether or not he is suffering from any form of dementia as well as the condition of his home.

Once he is visited by the department of the aging they can arrange for a variety of services such as meals on wheels, shoppers to do his shopping and house cleaners to help with cleaning his home as well as other services he may need. If all he is, is lonely these services should keep him from getting lonely and help divert his attention other places.

We had a very nice lady living in our neighborhood. She started to become the neighborhood busybody. As it turned out when this started she was in the early stages of some form of dementia. While she was able to live on her own her children let her. When it became apparent she could no longer live on her own and she was becoming a nuisance her children moved her to a nursing home.

I'm not saying this is the problem with your neighbor all though it may be. The department of the aging should be able to make that determination or ask the department of mental health to make it for them.

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My boyfriend (27) and I (22) have been dating for about 2 years. A few months after we started dating, I discovered he was addicted to pain pills. He confessed this to me after he had been going through withdrawals for a couple of days and I could clearly tell something was seriously wrong. After a couple of weeks drug-free, he began to feel better and I even noticed a change in the way he acted because of how great he felt.

About a year after that he told me he was having issues again. He was back to spending hundreds of dollars a week on pills and he decided to get help. He went to a clinic that basically prescribed a drug that would help him with withdrawals as long as he checked in a couple times a week and had a clean urine sample. He was doing great until his doctor told him that he would need to start seeing a counselor as part of their program. He told me that he wasn't like those "other addicts" and that he didn't need counseling. I told him he was in the same place as them for a reason, but he said he just needed the medication to help with the withdrawals and he'd be fine. When he ran out of those, he did in fact seem to be doing okay. However, I told him since he wouldn't put in a sincere effort to do what was asked of him then I would have no choice but to leave him if he starting using again. I had been in a previous relationship with an addict and I knew for my personal mental health I couldn't go through that again. He seemed to be doing okay though, so I quit worrying. For about a month.

I found out he was getting pills again. I broke up with him; not because I wanted to but because I knew I couldn't just threaten to do something and then not follow through. I felt like I'd be enabling him. He explained that he only got them again because his back had been hurting really bad from work, to which I responded that most people don't have a dealer that they can just call up to score pills from any time their back hurts, and that he knew better than to think it would "just be this once." We eventually got back together, because he said there really was nothing to worry about and since I love him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided to stick with him. I know addiction isn't a choice and I don't believe leaving him will actually make things better.

A week ago he told me he found a bottle of phentermine in his mom's medicine cabinet and that he took one to see what it was like. Usually those aren't really his thing but I know they're addictive and I was LIVID because I feel like it was just so careless of him to chance something like that when he knows his history. He said it was only once and he wouldn't do it again, especially since the pill didn't even make him feel very good.

Then yesterday, I saw that he was texting his dealer. He left the room, and I was overcome with anger so I decided to read the messages. He had planned to go get some oxys per usual and then asked if she had any phentermine, to which she said that she did.

Today he came home from work late. I looked in his truck and found several oxys and a phentermine. Obviously he's been lying, and it makes me mad that he pretended to not even like those pills when he was in fact, asking for MORE. I realized he had been lying about several things: he said a guy at work was telling him about how he took phentermine and it have him energy then coincidentally his mom happens to have some in her cabinet? No, he just didn't want me to know he was in touch with his dealer.

I'm so mad at him for lying but at the same time I'm upset and worried because he has had 2 friends die from overdosing on pills and both of them were doing less than he does. I don't think he's currently doing as many as he used to, but he is still doing them.

I don't want to leave him. He still continues to be a wonderful boyfriend, a hard worker, and still has the same funny, silly attitude. But he's struggling with a serious addiction and I don't know how I can help. I feel like if I stay, I'm telling him that he can continue living life as though his addiction is not something he should try to overcome. He can keep me and the pills and everything will be fine. However, if I leave, I'm not sticking with him through a hard time in his life and that's not the kind of person I am nor do I want him to feel alone in this.

How can I deal with this situation? I'm sick of the back-and-forth. I know his addiction will be a lifelong battle but I refuse to accept that this is just how it's going to be. I know he can lead a sober life.

I don't feel any of us can tell you exactly what is the best way for you to handle the situation with your boyfriend. Are you enabling him by staying with him when you said you would leave him if he started doing drugs again? Probably to some degree. More so I think you are hurting yourself or fooling yourself, I can't be sure of which as I do not know you.

What I can offer you is the best support group which can help you find the answers you need to find to know what is the right thing for you to do.

The group is called Al-Anon maybe you have heard of them. It was formed to help friends and relatives of addicted people cope with their addictions and how best to help these people. By talking with people who have or are going through the same situation you are and finding out how they are dealing with it. You will have a better incite into what or how to deal with your boyfriend.

Below is the URL to their find a meeting page. I'm sure you will be able to find a meeting somewhere close to where you live.


http://al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

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Yesterday is really registered to me that I like to burn things/ light things on fire. I wasted my entire brand new lighter the other night on burning different things. Something about watching the flames arise and then die out feels good. Not sure if it's calming good or what, but I feel something. I've read up in pyromania and I don't know if that would apply to me or not

Are you a pyromaniac? I can't say I'm not a psychiatrist and I cannot make that diagnosis. What I am is a retired firefighter and I would not want someone who likes to see fires burn living in mine or my sons response area for eventually that person is going to light something that burns beyond their control. Then we get called.

When that happens, it also happens people die. Sometimes it is the person who lit the fire because they become trapped and we can't get to them until it's too late. Fire is a strange beast, just when we think we know what it will do it does something else. Fire is totally unpredictable. This is why it is so dangerous.

Someone like you whose only intention is to watch something burnout may not intend to burn down a building but it does happen. It happened because fire is unpredictable and through unintended carelessness.

I have told you all this to make you aware that fire is dangerous even in the best of controlled circumstances. You may be calmed by it one moment and scared to death by it the next. You may or may not fit the clinical definition of a pyromaniac I can't say.

For your own safety and the safety of other I urge you to see a psychiatrist and be treated for whatever this problem is as it is not healthy. Talk to your parents before you accidently burn the house down and hurt them or worse.

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i was 16 that time and i was fingered for the first time with my lobg time boyfriend. when he fingered me i didn't bleed until the next day he do it again no bleeding happen again .. my question is am i still virgin? right now im 17 and i never try even just once a sex.

It all depends on what standard you wish to follow. By today's standard a virgin is someone who has not had penis to vagina intercourse. In other words a penis has not entered a vagina. If you are a girl until a boy puts his penis in you vagina you are a virgin. For a boy he is a virgin until his penis enters a vagina.

In the traditional standard having caranal knowledge of another would mean loss of virginity. By definition fingering, BJ's, HJ's are a form of caranal knowledge.

By today's standard, which is the one most all acknowledge is the proper one, you are still a virgin. Bleeding and loss of Hymen have nothing to do with loss of virginity,

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I'm a 13 year old girl. A few minutes ago I was up in my room when I heard yelling downstairs. I couldn't make out much but I heard my mom yell "It never happened." And then my dad: "yes it did!" And my mom: "No it didn't!" And my dad: "What did he say?!" Then I heard a door slam so I peeked down the stairs. My dad was sitting on the couch so I assume that the door slam was my mother storming to her room. My parents don't argue often so I'm a little concerned. Do you think that it's just a normal little fight? Can you infer what it was about by what they were yelling? From their dialogue my mind of course went straight to "mom is cheating on dad". But that's pretty unlikely. What do you think it was about? I'm really worried.

Parents are allowed to argue it’s normal. Remember parents were once strangers who fell in love and it is normal to sometimes have disagreements. Some parents yell and scream when they argue; others don't talk to each other when they have a disagreement. It doesn't mean they are going to get divorced.

You heard bits and pieces of a conversation which was part of an argument. What you heard was totally out of context of the conversation. For all you know dad may have been upset because mom drove the car over a curb and mom yelled back, "It never happened."

Unfortunately it is easy for any child to jump to the conclusion that one or the other parent has been caught cheating when their parents argue. It is an unfortunate fact of life today. Try not to jump to this conclusion for when you do so without any evidence you are going to be wrong

Parents like siblings are going to have the occasional argument. It is nothing for you or any child to worry about or get in the middle of. Your parents do love each other and they will work through whatever caused the argument together. Then things will return to normal.

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M/15

If the fallowing offends you I dont care.

About a year ago I came out to my parents that I was an Atheist. Well they are young earth creationists(which means they take everything in the bible literaly.) so they did not take to kindly to it. They made fun of me for not beliveing in there god and the fact that they are so positive that I'll regret it when I find out I'll be wrong. Well I shook it off I'm very strong with my belifs and at another time after I let things cool down I asked them if it was necisary that I go to church. The gave me no other reasoning other than yes because thats what our family dose. So ive put up with it for along time and I don't think I can any more. All I do at their church is sit there and stare off into space. Its truly a waste of time for me. I know the religion is not for me ive read the whole bible 4 times. More than most believers and I cannot stand for what they belive in. Dose any one know any reason
that my parents would be like this and only give me such a bland reason for making me go?

I have to agree with Razhie in that if you are a minor you do not have many choices when it comes to what you can and cannot do. If your parents want you to go to church with them then you go to church with them. When you turn 18 it is a different story then you can say no. Forcing you to go to church with them is not being abusive so you cannot legally get out of going.

My wife and I are agnostics, meaning we believe there is a god we just do not believe in organized religions. My wife's mother on the other hand was a very religious, church going women as were other close members of her family. This could have been a problem for us if we wanted it to be. We allowed them to take our sun to church with them just as we allowed my parents to. When asked to accompany them on special occasions, we didn't fight them we went. These occasions were Christmas and Easter and with my wife being Polish I enjoyed the pageantry of the Mass so it wasn't an entirely waste 90 minutes.

Frankly a couple of hours a year out of our lives, out of your life is not all that much time to give them. They know you don't believe and I'm sure they know that forcing you to go to church is not going to cause you to change your mind, but the have hope that it will.

Is one hour out of your week that harmful to you to bring some hope, as unfounded as it may be, to your parents in return for what they do and have done for you. I don't think so. If they go to an early Mass and you would prefer a later one so you can sleep in on Sunday ask them if that's possible. If your asking they may be more than willing to meet you halfway.

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Me and my bf have been together for almost 3 years and I'm 19 and he's 24 and we have a 1yr old son together. Our sex life has been pretty good but now he is always wanting oral and he doesn't wanna have sex with me even though he says he will but he just gets what he wants n that's it. Does anyone know why this is? Please help me out.

You wrote to us back in May with the same basic question. As a moderator on this site I can look back and see questions from registered users such as yourself. This allows us to give continuity to our answers and better advice as we can follow your questions on a subject.

I said then that I felt the pregnancy was not planned and I still feel that way. I also said that I thought the BF was staying with you out of an obligation as the father of the child. Once again my feelings have not changed on that either though my reasoning why he is has.

Now I learn that you were 16 and he 21 when you started dating. This to me and others on this site is a big red flag. We will always question why and adult male will look to date such a young female. You must have conceived the baby while you were still under the age of 18.

If I'm correct this could put the whole situation in another light. When I said the obligation he felt to be a father to the child may be wrong. The obligation in staying with you out of wedlock may be a statutory obligation. Meaning you were in the eyes of the law in your state still a child and by law unable to give consent to sex. By getting you pregnant the proof that he had sex with you is there and he is open to a felony charge of sexual relations with a minor plus a charge of statutory rape.

Once again depending on the laws in your state these charges may only be brought against him for a certain amount of time and then they run out and he can no longer be charged. This brings me to the possible conclusion that the statutory limit for these law to no longer effect him is fast approaching. Generally speaking the limits on prosecution for most crimes except murder are three to five years.

The only advice I can offer right now given the conclusions I'm coming to is for you to protect yourself and the baby by seeing a Family Law Attorney. There are certain papers that you need to have drawn up and approved by the courts to insure that he continues to meet his obligations for child support in the future; regardless of what happens between you and him.

I'm sorry to say this but with the additional information you provided today I have to believe that what is happening between you two is his way of protecting himself from legal problems. The legal problems stem from him dating and getting an under age girl pregnant. As you approach the statute of limitations on these charges he may be looking to find away out of this relationship with you. Refusing to have sex with you is one way to start a relationship ending argument.

As I said I'm sorry I feel this way but this is the way I see things today. If you think I'm wrong write me back in a private message with your reasons why and I will address them and advise you further. Even if you feel I'm wrong; please see an attorney and have the proper paperwork done to protect you and the baby.

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I havnent been able to sleep very well for the past week, and when I do it's maybe 5 hours a night with me waking up every 45 minutes in that time span. What should I do to get some sleep?

I'm not a doctor so I cannot give you a medical diagnoses for why you're having trouble sleeping. For a medical diagnoses you need to see your doctor for an examination.

In general terms trouble sleeping is usually caused by some type of stress or trauma. You haven't given your age so I have no idea what kind of stress you might be under or trauma you may have witnessed. Trauma that is witnessed is a mental trauma and the stress it causes is generally called anxiety.

Then their are the normal stresses of life such as work, school and family that at times seem to pile upon you . At night when you are trying to sleep these stress won't allow you to relax enough to get and stay asleep.

Left untreated this type of stress can cause something called clinical depression. In teenagers it is called teenage depression. No matter what descriptive term is used you really don't want to allow the stress to take you this far.

My advice is to see a doctor. If it is stress that is keeping you up it is just as serious as any other illness. If is not stress but some other problem your doctor should be able to find the problem upon examination or at the very least treat the symptoms.

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