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Sexually attracted to fictional characters
First of all I'm a 16 year old girl. Ever since I was 10 I've always been the antisocial type who hides away in her room reading or watching tv or whatever. I've always liked celebrities and book characters, but that's only normal right? But recently I've actually been sexually attracted to them. This will sound strange but I masturbate to fanfictions and pictures of my favorite celebrities/characters (The Doctor from Doctor Who is an example of one). And I spend ALOT of time watching the shows that they're in or reading the books they're in. I've always been antisocial, but I've also always had a healthy relationship with my interests until now. This didn't start up until I moved away from all of my friends a few months and started to get lonely, maybe this has something to do with it? What's wrong with me?
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If I tried saying that Dr. Gregory House hasn't popped into my head once or twice while masturbating, I'd be a god damned liar.
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Relax your normal. There is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies especially while masturbating. In fact try masturbating without fantasizing or viewing pictures of people you would like to have sex with; it is almost impossible. The only time this would be wrong is when masturbation becomes all encompassing to the exclusion of everything else in your life.
I also think you do not understand the words antisocial properly. You had friends until you moved. Now you are having a hard time making friends. People who are antisocial usually do not have any friends. You lost yours not because you are antisocial but because you moved; big difference.
Teenagers at your age find it harder to make friends then when you were say 8 or 9. The problem in making new friends, especially in high school, is if you're new to the school you are the odd person out. The other kids have all grown up together and formed friendships that go back to elementary school. These friendships with minor exception are not life long friendships for as soon as high school is over we all take off for college, the military or work. We are all forced into making new friendships.
For now the best way I know to make new friends in a strange place is to find common interests. How you do that is actually very simple. You sit down with pen and paper and write down all the activities that you like to do. You say you like to read so you put that down. Maybe you like to knit, cook, go hiking, garden or anything else that you enjoy cooking. Then you could also include volunteer activities you may want to do and your churches youth group activities.
Once you have this list number them in order of interest from high to low. Take the top 4 or 5 and look to see what activities there are in or out of school that you can join. You like reading so a book club or the drama club may be something of interest to you. Once you join these activities you have a common interest with which to talk to people. Once you are talking they get to know you and you them. Before you know it you have made a friend.
Try this; I have made this recommendation many times and have received back many replies that it works.
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There is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies about fictional characters or celebrities.
The only time it's a problem, is if those fantasies, any type of fantasy, not just sexual ones, are holding you back or interfering with your happiness in the real world.
To a degree, fantasy is a healthy way to cope with loneliness. If you feel you've passed that healthy degree, and it's becoming a problem in your life, the best thing to do is probably to speak to a therapist, and keep yourself busy. Take up a craft or hobby that uses your mind and hands, sewing, knitting, painting, cooking. Find a place to volunteer, or to go to camp for the summer. Set yourself a simple, doable schedule of things to do or achieve and stick to it.
Don't think about this as 'what is wrong with me?'. You are not screwed up, you are just human, and going through some stress and loneliness. All you've really got is a bad habit, and like most bad habits all you have to do is redirect your energy and apply some real will power.
You might also want to talk to your parents about speaking to a therapist. A move is stressful, and if you are feeling yourself withdrawing more and more into your own mind, that is something a therapist can help you with. They can help you talk about what is happening, and how to best use your energy to combat it and feel better about your life.
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